YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE FUN TO WATCH?
If a whole bunch of armed guys from Kentucky showed up in Santa Barbara.
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If a whole bunch of armed guys from Kentucky showed up in Santa Barbara.
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That would be fun.
I once read that some people in Kentucky mix squirrel brains in with their scrambled eggs.
Serve THAT in some fancy Santa Barbara restaurant and see what happens.
Posted by: John | August 06, 2004 at 06:53 AM
On the second story...natural corn oil? Do squirrels have some sort of natural allergy to this substance?
**Leaves to go search the web for answers to this important question**
Posted by: Brian B | August 06, 2004 at 06:55 AM
Now, "Hard Core Squirrel Hunters" wbagnfarb.
Posted by: skoo | August 06, 2004 at 06:56 AM
Hey Brian B,
While you are looking, find out when squirrels left the trees and started burrowing in sand dunes.
Thanks
Posted by: Lily | August 06, 2004 at 06:57 AM
Brian B - for some reason when I read that I thought they meant they wanted to coat the cliff the squirrels are living in with this corn oil so they'll all just slip off... Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night. ;)
Posted by: skoo | August 06, 2004 at 06:59 AM
No brainer (literally) pest control - eat 'em - though there's probably not a politically correct 22 in Santa Barbara.
Posted by: bm | August 06, 2004 at 06:59 AM
why not send some of the kentuckians some airplane tickets, and let them have at it. yum, yum.
Posted by: queensbee | August 06, 2004 at 06:59 AM
I've always wondered why KFC tasted so much like squirrel.
I think it's obvious what's going on here... the squirrels are building up their numbers in Kentucky, pulling troops from less important colonies in an attempt to take over the state and create a Squirrel Nation.
This fall... the hunters... become the hunted.
Posted by: Tetsu | August 06, 2004 at 07:01 AM
Skoo, I was thinking they wanted to drown the poor squirrels in their burrows with corn oil.
Posted by: John | August 06, 2004 at 07:01 AM
Tetsu, sounds like a good movie preview....
Posted by: John | August 06, 2004 at 07:03 AM
*The squirrel population has increased tenfold in recent years because, in large part, people are feeding the rodents.*
So if the people we feeding the rodents, in small part, the population would be smaller?
Edit, people, EDIT.
Posted by: Lily | August 06, 2004 at 07:08 AM
John - you could probably invent some fancy name for squirrel brains - call it Sulbra - have it served in a few swank restaurants in CA - and make it the next Tofu!
People would be snorking up the Sulbra by the bucketload if they thought it was the hip thing to do...
All we have to do is prevent them from finding out it's really SqUirreL BRAins...
I smell a patent...
Posted by: Higgy | August 06, 2004 at 07:12 AM
Or a lawsuit, Higgy. Imagine the headlines when the scandal breaks.....
"Squirrel Brains Served in Fine Restaurants!"
Posted by: John | August 06, 2004 at 07:15 AM
Where's Jethro Bodine when you need him? Now there's a hard core squirrel hunter, just down the road in Beverly Hills. He's probably still trying to get into the movies. Granny would contend that varmints are for vittles rather than vittles be fed to varmints, but don't expect the residents of the left coast to understand.
They could always call Carl Spackler.
Posted by: kb | August 06, 2004 at 07:15 AM
I think Brenhem, TX has a solution to the problem as well - or will if they ever catch the world's largest snake, that is.
Posted by: Christobol | August 06, 2004 at 07:21 AM
Is it just me, or is it really creepy that squirrel populations are very high in a state that has an actual hunting season on them? You shoot them year-after-year and still the population rises to the point that you have to have longer and longer seasons?
Whatever you do, Santa Barbara, don't start shooting!!!
{{{shudders}}}
Posted by: Lily | August 06, 2004 at 07:23 AM
Ah, by the time the lawsuit hits, I'll be sitting on a tropical island making 8 1/2 percent...
Posted by: Higgy | August 06, 2004 at 07:24 AM
True Stories Regarding Squirrel Huntin':
I grew up in West ("By God") Virginia, and after finishing college (not anywhere NEAR West-By-God-Virginia, just for the record), returned for one year to teach in a very rural coal-minin', moonshine-swillin', Kentucky-next-to'in, Deliverance-lookin', southern WV county. Imagine my shock when I looked at the school calendar and saw that the kids got a four-day weekend at the opening of Squirrel Hunting Season. Now, I grew up in Charleston, which is pretty close to a normal small city, and I didn't even know that people hunted squirrels at all until that moment.
I mentioned this bizarre sanctioned school vacation at a family reunion, thinking we could all have a good laugh. My grandmother, making sure to give me some genetic perspective that humbles me to this day, said "Oooo, I haven't had squirrel in a coon's age! You know what's really good? Squirrel brains." Once I was sure she was serious, I edged quietly away from the hors d'oeurve table and reflected upon the likelihood that squirrel brains had somehow been incorporated into my physical makeup.
Posted by: otherRach | August 06, 2004 at 07:26 AM
Squirrel: it's what's for dinner.
kb, you beat me to it. I was all for calling in Granny too. After all, with this you can cook up some tasty vittles.
And since Mahatma is out of the country, here's the eBay Clampett item of the day.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 06, 2004 at 07:26 AM
It's a gastric collision in this crazy woild
A tale of the hunter and one of the squoi-lle.
Hillbillies eat 'em,
Barbarians feed 'em,
Taste like chicken when fried in corn oil.
Posted by: slowlayne | August 06, 2004 at 07:28 AM
*Barbarians feed 'em*
Took me a second, but ROTFL!
Posted by: Lily | August 06, 2004 at 07:31 AM
'There just aren't as many squirrel hunters as there used to be.'. Now why is that, do you think?
What are the hunters doing with the squirrels? Comments would seem to suggest that they are for eating. ARE YOU KIDDING? WHO EATS SQUIRREL?
Anyway, the Santa Barbara squirrels have been accused of being flea and disease ridden. Are these edible as well?
I too wondered about the corn oil. Is it some sort of squirrel phobia?
Posted by: Peri | August 06, 2004 at 07:32 AM
All right,
After much exhaustive research (read: I'm going to need a beer after all this), I have come up with the WAYYYYY too technical and serious answer for this Blog.
Ok, the long and short of it, corn oil, fed to squirrels, will disrupt their water absorption biological process. This will lead to a slow (5 to 7 day) death by dehydration, eventually leading to a coma and death.
As to the squirrels burrowing in sand dunes, these are ground squirrels, not your usual everyday hickory and oak tree squirrels.
Also, I work in Kentucky, right across the river from OH. I've got a couple "good ole boys" down here that go squirrel hunting. As the first article states, the seasons overlap for the various animals, so even though the season may be long for squirrel hunting, most hunters will spend their time on turkey and deer.
I need some silliness now.
Posted by: Brian B | August 06, 2004 at 07:32 AM
Hey Barry, I sent Dave a little more tasteful version of the Jethro's Casino story the other day (which he hasn't seen fit to use, apparently because he hasn't run out of "Animals Gone Wild" stories yet). If you check you'll see . Personally, as soon as the 200 foot flaming oil derrick opens, I am THERE!
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 06, 2004 at 07:33 AM
This problem (the squirrels) could be solved in about 1 hour.
All they need to do is announce an open casting call for a new reality TV show and specify that everyone show up to the audition WITH THEIR SQUIRREL.
Posted by: Christobol | August 06, 2004 at 07:33 AM
By the way Peri,
Squirrels are delicious when cooked properly, as are rabbits, deer, and everything else with a cute little face.
Posted by: Brian B | August 06, 2004 at 07:35 AM
Jeff:
At least that bobblehead doesn't look like it came from the same mold as the Barry Manilow/Roger Daltry/Hillary Clinton one from the other day.
Menu name for Santa Barbara Squirrel: Grunion de Terre.
ps: What? Mahatma's had to flee the country again? When will it stop?
Posted by: Laribo | August 06, 2004 at 07:35 AM
I lost my other comment, which was to say Jethro is the winner of this year's Wayne Newton lookalike contest.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 06, 2004 at 07:36 AM
You will never never convince me that squirrels make good eating. They are rodents, for crying out loud! I have eaten deer, moose and bison but that is as far as I go. Brian B, you said 'properly prepared' it tastes good, but that's what people say about liver as well and it doesn't matter what you do to liver - it's still liver!
Anyone know what Prairie Oysters are?
Posted by: Peri | August 06, 2004 at 07:41 AM
Peri,
I have a sneaking suspicion that prairie oysters are also known as mountain oysters? I have never tried them. I might, in the right frame of mind (read: Incredibly drunk). I love elk, deer, buffalo, ostrich, alligator, rabbit, squirrel, cow, chicken, fish, etc.
I guess I'm just a consumate carnivore.
Posted by: Brian B | August 06, 2004 at 07:46 AM
Would a fast-food chain that served squirrel be called "The Nut House"?
Posted by: Lairbo | August 06, 2004 at 07:49 AM
Being from the Prairie, I know what Prairie Oysters are.
Don't eat them. Just don't.
Or Squirrel Brains, Calf's Tounge, Blood Sausage, Pickled Pigs Feet, Head Cheese or any of the other delicacies that abound here in SD.
Oh, and thanks for the report, Brian B.
Posted by: Lily | August 06, 2004 at 07:52 AM
I've been told that they used to (and still may) serve "Rocky Mountain Oysters" at the Coor's Field, er, ballpark.
Posted by: Lairbo | August 06, 2004 at 07:55 AM
Wait, let me get this straight. We don't want to poison them because that's inhumane, but using corn oil to make them die slowly of thirst over a period of days is ok?
Posted by: Mike Weasel | August 06, 2004 at 07:56 AM
Hey Brian, pass the leg of Bambi's Mom over to this side of the table.
Tribesman: (expectantly) "So, how are you enjoying your ox testicle?"
Homer: "Oh, it's fine, thanks."
Tribesman: "...are you sure you'd rather not have a coconut instead?"
Homer: "I SAID I'm fine!"
Posted by: Tetsu | August 06, 2004 at 07:56 AM
Didn't anyone watch the National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation squirrel scene?
Even cousin Eddie doesn't eat them anymore cause he read they were high in cholesterol.
Posted by: jilly willy | August 06, 2004 at 08:03 AM
DING! DING! DING!
Testicles - we have a winner!
Prairie Oysters are breaded deep-fried bison (buffalo) testicles. You can buy them here. In fact, there's a bar here called The Prairie Oyster. I mention this so that you don't think my contempt of squirrel eaters is a Canadian thing - we eat disgusting stuff too. I hasten to add that I personally have never eaten a Praire Oyster.
Posted by: Peri | August 06, 2004 at 08:05 AM
I never ate Squirrels before, and I don't want too because they are so cute!
Why can't Squirrels use the beach like we do, I don't mind, just as long as they don't steal my nuts!
We should not eat Squirrels from the beach, just the crabs, but make sure you chew them good, or you will catch crabs like my big brother does at Red Lobsters all the time.
Posted by: Rockchild | August 06, 2004 at 08:06 AM
Hey Peri!
I don't know what Prairie Oysters are, but I think you can find them on the Prairie, where ever that is.
Posted by: Rockchild | August 06, 2004 at 08:12 AM
"Squirrels are delicious when cooked properly, as are rabbits, deer, and everything else with a cute little face."
You scare me Brian B!
Posted by: Rockchild | August 06, 2004 at 08:15 AM
I believe that Rocky Mountain Oysters are the non-endangered species answer to Prairie Oysters. Bull is the most popular, but I think other species may also be used.
Posted by: Bella | August 06, 2004 at 08:25 AM
"The Nut House" is near me, Lairbo, but I wont ever go there to eat Squirrels. Would you?
Posted by: Rockchild | August 06, 2004 at 08:30 AM
I lived in Missoula, Montana for a while and, a few miles to the east just off of I-90, there's a little spot where they have the annual Testicle Festival.
In the immortal words of Dave Barry, I am not making this up.
Yes, I went. Yes, it is a bunch of rednecks and hillbillies just like you'd expect. And, NO I did not try any of the "delicacies" that were available.
Posted by: Just Another Dave | August 06, 2004 at 08:37 AM
Just Another Dave, I think I'm gona be sick!
My dad is a redneck, but he never told me that he ever ate Testicle's before, and I hope he never does!
Posted by: Rockchild | August 06, 2004 at 08:45 AM
J.A.D.
You really have to have balls to go to a Testical Festival. . . (oh, come on, somebody had to say it)
Rockchild
How about "Nut Hut" or "SquirrelMart" "Brain O' the Squirrel" or "Chip 'n' Dale's"?
Posted by: Lairbo | August 06, 2004 at 08:50 AM
I never heard of those places, Lairbo, are they good?
Posted by: Rockchild | August 06, 2004 at 08:53 AM
A Tesitcle Festival? Even I won't try a limerick with that. Oh what the hell....
If for parties you are particular
Try the Montana Fest so Testicular
It's held to support
Squirrel hunting and sports
Of Missoulans that are just so jocular.
Posted by: slowlayne | August 06, 2004 at 08:54 AM
i liv rite neer Missoula, Montana an we are always havin this parti called the Tezteecle Feztivel.
a whole much fun.
an most everyone lykes the food and stuff but the ther are alwayz the littl sissies alwayz leavin without tasting our delikacees.
Posted by: hillbilly | August 06, 2004 at 08:55 AM
Next somebody's gonna tell me that Squirrel Nut Zippers don't contain any squirrel or squirrel by-products.
Posted by: Lairbo | August 06, 2004 at 09:09 AM
I live in Kentucky. I ain't never gone squirrel huntin' with Paw, but I have et some right fine vittles after. Never had squirrel brains afore, though.
[I can actually talk like this when I get together with my mother's family!]
Posted by: LabSpecimen | August 06, 2004 at 09:11 AM
There's a bar not too far from me that has an annual party called "The Turkey Testicle Festival". Since I'm from Chicago, I'd hate to think we're Redneck A Go Go. Still, they have their own website and their own song. Bet the squirrels don't have *that*.
Posted by: Never tried them, never will | August 06, 2004 at 09:14 AM
*Wait, let me get this straight. We don't want to poison them because that's inhumane, but using corn oil to make them die slowly of thirst over a period of days is ok?*
Just what one would expect from the Barbarians of Santa Barbara.
Posted by: Lily | August 06, 2004 at 09:20 AM
okay.....i'm originally from mississippi and i have known people in my life who ate squirrel. i didn't know them for very long because, well, they ate squirrel and that's just gross, but i know of this.
Posted by: cheekdog | August 06, 2004 at 09:58 AM
Santa Barbara might appreciate some help. They are currently trying to get rid of a bunch of squirrels that are causing the cliffs to fall in the ocean.
Posted by: Les | August 06, 2004 at 10:01 AM
I would try Rocky Mountain Oysters/Prairie Oysters if given the opportunity. Which I haven't.
I'll try just about any food item. Once. My most daring food items to date have been chicken feet, tripe, and goat.
I ate squirrel once. My friend was a hunter, he had stewed some, I ate some. Kinda bony.
Posted by: Blogchik | August 06, 2004 at 10:01 AM
Peri - I had a friend who used to work at The Prairie Oyster Cafe there in Winterpeg. He thought it was hilarious how people would come in, pop back several prairie oysters, then ask what they were and stare (and/or gag) in disbelief when he told them.
Mmm...calf testicles...
Posted by: Rachel | August 06, 2004 at 10:05 AM
Corn oil will kill them much quicker if you heat it up to 350F first.
And, mind you, add some light breading and a bit a Tabasco and just a suggestion of ground cayenne peppers.
>>disclaimer: BigLouie is from New Orleans
Posted by: BigLouie | August 06, 2004 at 10:08 AM
Hey Lab Specimen:
I ALSO speak a second language (West Virginny)! It pasy to be able to translate for friends when they hear things like "Dag, Johnny, I cain't hardly see yew. Pass me them squarrel brains and somma that there mountin' osters."
Posted by: otherRach | August 06, 2004 at 10:12 AM
Rachel, that is so cool!
Posted by: Peri | August 06, 2004 at 10:29 AM
great accents out here - chicken feet - no longer allowed go sell them in ny state.... my gramma used to put em in soup. they are delish. not much meat on em..
Posted by: queensbee | August 06, 2004 at 10:47 AM
otherRach: I can translate Brooklynese; does that count?
"Not much meat on them" is an understatement, queensbee.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 06, 2004 at 12:00 PM
Does anyone else see the irony in the fact that they are advertising the Prius to a bunch of squirrel hunters?
Posted by: alanboss | August 06, 2004 at 08:45 PM
(Why on earth would they ban the sale of chicken feet?) djtonyb, Maybe it's because the roadsides get chooka with chickens that can't ..cripes time to take my pills again
Posted by: LogikAl | August 07, 2004 at 04:40 AM
yeah - squirrel's tasy; just don't eat the brains (prion disease). And they may look cute, but they're real varmints - you haven't seen damage until a squirrel's got at your house; I've seen them chew through thin metal, and they rip through wood like a chainsaw. Even beavers respect squirrels..
Also, I'd bet that the squirrels in CA are Ground Squirrels (more of a Chipmunk-ey than a bushy-tailed squirrel-ey animal). Still, I bet they're right tasty; maybe kabob? Ever had mouse-on-a-stick? mmm-yummy!
Posted by: MrToad | August 09, 2004 at 05:30 AM
yeah - squirrel's tasy; just don't eat the brains (prion disease). And they may look cute, but they're real varmints - you haven't seen damage until a squirrel's got at your house; I've seen them chew through thin metal, and they rip through wood like a chainsaw. Even beavers respect squirrels..
Also, I'd bet that the squirrels in CA are Ground Squirrels (more of a Chipmunk-ey than a bushy-tailed squirrel-ey animal). Still, I bet they're right tasty; maybe kabob? Ever had mouse-on-a-stick? mmm-yummy!
Posted by: MrToad | August 09, 2004 at 05:32 AM