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August 31, 2004


I'll run to the Market for you, and I'll take the twins...

(Thanks to Paul Borden)


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They do those in Indiana all the time. It's pretty cool.

Well as cool as corn gets.

Joel: Is it true you can hear corn grow? (always wondered 'bout that)

we reduce corn fields to mass marketing campaignes while people are starving...

I couldn't come up with any corn puns and I am in a $h!t mood.

Sorry for the post


Well on a hot humid night...

Nah, even if it did make a sound the rustling of the leaves would drown it out.

I think the right word is...


I think the right word is...


djtony beat me to it.

NASCAR: yawn.

That is all. Come on Judi, where's the MOATel California link?

Fitting that the origins of NASCAR come from Kentuckians running moon shine, made from corn. They would modify their cars to run faster than the cops, and on weekends they raced each other for kicks.

It always comes full circle.

They do corn mazes here in Oregon too... but then they harvest it, so it doesn't go to waste. Of course, we don't have rabid NASCAR fans running around the corn, either. *ducks*


That was aMAZEing!

Har har

Shucks, MadScientist, all you need is to go to the RNC and get a massage and free beer, plus access to all the free permanent toilets ...

I suppose with all those ears even the corn could hear itself grow. Or does it crow?

I don't know what to say, just wanted to let you know we are here for you. What can we do?

Mad Scientist - did ya know that most of the world food problem is political? The thug governments won't let food through to the people that need it, or they steal it. We can feed em, but we can't distrubute it.

Mad? *Grabs 10 foot pole with cute fuzzy bunny attached to end by ribbon, because who can stay crabby with a cute fuzzy bunny to play with?*

Ummm... This is for you.

*Pushes peace offering toward Mad.*

*Retracts pole.*

Uh oh... It was supposed to be a PET, Mad.

Ah well, I can add it to my collection.

jeff: is there anything else you'd like me to get you while i'm up?

What's the difference between a thirteen year old and a twelve year old? If a thirteen year old gets lost are they suddenly able to handle the situation? Can they sing the haftorah and then magically find their way out of the maze? (Assuming their Jewish of course.)

Didn't anybody see what makes this a truly Dave-worthy item?


New for 2004 is what we call "Marlboro Madness" Pumpkin Launchin' Fire Truck. Yes we are members of PETA (pumpkins entertaining thousands of admirers). Come see how far a pumpkin can fly plus what ever else we shove down the barrel with this one of a kind fire truck.

Rats, I thought "I'll take the twins" meant a picture of ramparts.

"Soldiers of corn…lend me your ears!"

"Hey - what kind of corn soldiers are you?" "- We're Colonels."

ahh - lovely Tick flashbacks

I think I saw this guy going towards the maze . . .

Anne, yes there are. *G*

Judi, some popcorn over here, please, kthxbye.

Jeff - I think NASCAR would be exciting and interresting if they would just go clockwise. That's why I watch standing on my head...

MKJ - That's a mighty tempting offer, to cut a fat guy's ponytail for just $122.50 (current bid).

Maybe I'll offer to let someone clip my toenails for $100 (for charity, il va sans dire).

Close, Pogo - it's all world hunger is political.

Mad, if it makes you feel any better, in Indiana we do not watch children starve while we convert our corn fields to mass marketing tools.

Frankly, watching them starve takes way too long, I mean, most can't even follow a 20 minute sitcom plot, right? So we throw spears at them.

We do give 10% of the proceeds to help puppies find a home.

I just re-read that and it's....just wrong.

Obviously I meant lawn darts, not spears.

As a Pumpkin Chucker (trebuchet)... we wait until the corn is harvested to use the fields for our alternative use.

Combining the truck-mounted device just seems a bit over the top. Most of us are self-sponsored or sponsored/supported by our local machine shop.

Make sure you don't bring your device to a heavily policed gathering like a convention or a WTO conference. The police have very little patience when you explain that you would only harm a pumpkin.

Cop: What are you doing at this Thanksgiving Day parade with a trebuchet?

Wacked: Honestly, sir: We'll only harm the pumpkins.

Cop: Why is there a baby strapped to that pumpkin?

Wacked: Ermmm. She's a thrill seeker?

Cob: Right. Think you can hit the mayor from here?

Judi, I'll defer to elle, as she's the President, but if you're getting a beer for djtony I wouldn't say no, as long a it's not Utica Club, the first beer sold after prohibition. (I still can't believe that's how they're selling it.) If not, just toss me a Wild Irish Rose. On second thought maybe I better get my own drink.


*Clucks tongue in disgust. Prepares to lecture.*

Did you know that Native Americans used the whole pumpkin when they killed? They left nothing to waste...carving out the meat for pies and roasting the seeds for a tasty treat.

They even used the shells to lend support to the generously-chested.

*Dodges flying pumpkin*


I wouldn't know about that whole "generously chested" thing Polly, but would anyone really want to use a slimy shell for that? I mean, wouldn't it slide down the whole time, thus defeating the purpose?

Coming from a dirt-intensive area such as I do, I can tell you yankeefied city-folk that, in fact, you CAN hear corn grow, and here is how: When it is coming upon harvest season, and the corn is coming to the end of its growing stage, you wait until the weather is humid, but relatively cool (around 70-75), such as at dusk. Bring some friends and sit in the middle of a cornfield so that the surrounding corn blocks the breeze and it is absolutely quiet. Lean slowly towards the corn stalks with your eyes shut and try to be as quiet as possible while you all pop 4 or 5 hits of acid. Wait about 30 minutes, and not only will you hear it grow, you'll see it dance and tell knock-knock jokes as well.
At least that's the way Pappy used to do it.

whose purpose you speaking of, Anne? I for one find breastware that slides down amply chested women to suit my purposes nicely.

Ooh, speaking of throwing pumpkins around, I've had a great idea. I think (follow me closely here) that the Smashing Pumpkins wbagnfarb. Let the records show, I thought of it first.

Fed - you close your eyes and bend over in a corn field, I think you'll be needing to drop acid.

Let that be a warnin' to the city folk.

Better to just buy the corn-growing tape and listen to it while you sit in traffic. Saves on adult diapers.

Christobol, MOTW, and all thanks for the laugh.

As to disrtibution problems it goes far beyond that but this is not the forum...

Hey Josh keep your tongue off the Britney Spears Gum. Dang now I am going to have your DNA and her's all mixed together. Hmmm that could be interesting....

Britney's gum, or NOT Britney's gum, I wish people would make up their minds

"Hilarious" monkey shirt? Not exactly the word I'd use.

"What's the difference between a thirteen year old and a twelve year old?"

Nothing, they're both pink on the inside.

Damm the spammers!!!!! I will seek out and destroy them (someone tell me how?).

Cool maize BTW.

See, plenty of room. Just step around the spam.

*clears out some space and begins to assemble beakers flasks and chemicals*

Hiya peri and boo

Best part no monkey....

I like that this thread says sure mom - it is like mother Judi is watching over us bloglits

should we leave a link over in the moatelle? a few signs saying where the party moved to?

arent we just going to call it MOATer home so we can move all the time?

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