INSECT ASIDE
And under and around and across .
(Thanks to Ted Nolan)
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And under and around and across .
(Thanks to Ted Nolan)
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The insect version of "Crock"'s lost platoon...
Posted by: jamester | August 16, 2004 at 06:28 AM
wow... the first new post in how long???
welcome back, judi!!
Posted by: beckanva | August 16, 2004 at 06:28 AM
Yes, Judi, please don't leave us home alone like that again. Even naked man posts if you must...
Posted by: jamester | August 16, 2004 at 06:29 AM
"...the genetic make-up of the ants found in Australia had mutated allowing them to cooperate to build the supercolony."
And in addition to a newfound ability to cooperate, they've become marsupials with itty bitty teeny weeny pouches.
Welcome back, Judi. You were missed. ((hugs))
Posted by: Polly | August 16, 2004 at 06:36 AM
I wonder if Michigan J. Frog could lap them up and save Australia?
Posted by: waxwing | August 16, 2004 at 06:39 AM
Glad the storm didn't blow the blog away! Glad you're back, Judi.
and, of course, "Mutant Ant Colony" wbagnfarb
Posted by: Russell | August 16, 2004 at 06:41 AM
In other news, a supercolony of Amazing Sea Monkeys was discovered living in Australia's Great Barrier Reef. Scientists aren't sure where they're from but agree that they probably came by mail order (4 to 6 weeks delivery).
Posted by: Lairbo | August 16, 2004 at 06:44 AM
thanks. i went to ny :) met hugh jackman. well, "met" is too strong a term for what happened. stood in a teeming throng and had him scribble a couple of black lines on my playbill, is more like it. but still.
Posted by: judi | August 16, 2004 at 07:10 AM
Maybe the ants can be competition for the cockroach.
Posted by: pogo | August 16, 2004 at 07:10 AM
Meanwhile, on the next car trip from hell...
"Come on everyone!
The ants go marching 1.6 Billion by 1.6 Billion
Hurrah, Hurrah..."
That was not a haiku
Posted by: Christobol | August 16, 2004 at 07:16 AM
no giant ants. calm down. those people have had waaaaay too many Foster's. they just THOUGHT they saw giant ants.
Posted by: queensbee | August 16, 2004 at 07:21 AM
Judi... For a second there I thought you said you stood in steaming thong with Hugh Jackman...
:-)
Posted by: Polly | August 16, 2004 at 07:31 AM
In Melboune they must decide
Whether or not to use cyanide
Or should they find some other pollutant
For killing swarming colonies mutant
And uncles committing aunticide.
That was not a haiku. And technically it was not a limerick. But you get the point.
Posted by: slowlayne | August 16, 2004 at 07:33 AM
How many miles wide (long), Heck, sounds like they're a threat to all Bio's, not just the 'diversity ones.
What was that 70s/80s movie about the Ant Colony that made squares in the fields and stole Jody Foster (or maybe I WISHed it was Jody Foster) to make her the offical spokesperson????
Long before they had PC Spokespersons....
Posted by: kibby F5 | August 16, 2004 at 07:40 AM
kibby - article said 30 miles.
"Mediterranean-type eco-systems of south-eastern Australia"
That's a geographical journalistic artistic-license reach. Why not just say the Argentine ants like the beer in SE Australia?
Posted by: MOTW | August 16, 2004 at 07:53 AM
Don't cry for me, Argentine ants...
Posted by: D'Artagnan | August 16, 2004 at 07:54 AM
An ant colony
That measures 62 miles
Across?!? That's f***ing huge!
A haiku by Zach
Posted by: Zach Foote | August 16, 2004 at 08:00 AM
ZACH:
5 7 5 is the correct syllabic form in haiku.
I believe "Across?!? That's f***ing huge!" contains SIX syllables.
That is all.
Posted by: Haiku Police | August 16, 2004 at 08:06 AM
Maybe the ants should get together with the giant fungi living underground in Oregon and start some kind of support group.
"You let one ant stand up to us, then they all might stand up! Those puny little ants outnumber us a hundred to one and if they ever figure that out there goes our way of life! It's not about getting food, it's about keeping those ants in there place and that's why we're going back! Does anybody else wanna stay? "
In the morning in the evening ant we got fun?
Posted by: BMX3 | August 16, 2004 at 08:06 AM
I know where I'm not going on my next vacation!
Posted by: Susan | August 16, 2004 at 08:07 AM
Formica Japonica Daily
Human Population Stabilizing
-Dateline Aug. 16, 2004
The worrisome trend of increased human population that has long threatened ant environmental biodiversity appears to be settling into a holding pattern, according to ant overlord and telvevision chef Adam Ant.
"While India and China remain on our watch list, we've found America and Europe to be really coming under our control, and we've recently opened a lovely community in Australia. We've found that most species of humans really can't stand eachother for longer than it takes to shag maybe six or seven times, and then only with large quantities of alcohol involved."
The strategy of biting humans and then leaving religious rants at the scene has become an increasingly effective human population control device as ant colonies have mastered swarm techniques that allow them to take on the likeness of well known human terrorists, as well as Jennifer Aniston. Asked about the possibility that humans will catch on that ants actually use pesticides as a dessert topping, Ant Bee, Sec. of Defense and defending World Ant Federation Wrestling Champ, had no official comment, but did allow off the record that she "rather likes to have jam rubbed on her thorax."
Posted by: Christobol | August 16, 2004 at 08:09 AM
Christobal - don't we ALL like to have jam rubbed on our thorax?
That's probably TMI...
Posted by: Higgy | August 16, 2004 at 08:21 AM
The real question here is, "Can Australia Save Itself?"
And did anyone else notice that "Elissa Suhr," if that is her "real name," is a hottie? Why can't we get hottie scientists here in the states? Maybe if we import the Argentinian Ant Death Squad from Auzzie, the scientists will follow! And we could dump all the ants in Cleveland! It's a win-win situation, especially if they (the ants; and possibly the reasearchers) eat the Rock and Highly Overpriced Yet Entirely Unimpressive Roll Hall of Fame and Sports Bar and Grill and Tourist Trap From Hell.
Lastly, the Argentinian Ant Death Squad WBAGNFARB.
Posted by: The Federal Duck | August 16, 2004 at 08:26 AM
Federal Duck... been to the Rock n Roll hall of fame... If I wasn't in good company it would have sucked.
You a Browns fan?
Posted by: Polly | August 16, 2004 at 08:53 AM
I had hoped to one day fly to Austrailia for a holiday, but it is taking me a LONG time to save up the pennies. Hope it's not just a giant ant hill by the time I get there.
Posted by: iolite | August 16, 2004 at 09:56 AM
Hey, I sent in the Aussie version with visual aids right out of THEM:
Giant Ant Colony.
Hey, Judi, you were probably in the thong, I mean throng, with my friend Maggie, who flew from San Diego twice in the last two months to see Hugh and got his autograph FOUR times this trip (saw the show twice). And he wasn't even naked.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 16, 2004 at 10:00 AM
fed duck! Polly and I are very Hot very intelligent Scientists. Don't bring those Aussie hussies over here to compete.
Posted by: Mad Scienist | August 16, 2004 at 10:07 AM
Maybe the ants stopped fighting because of genetic mutations, or maybe they finally read The Book of Merlin.
*looks around at confused silence*
Yeah, I'm a nerd. Go back about your business.
Posted by: Estelle Chauvelin | August 16, 2004 at 10:46 AM
You go, Estelle! I loved the BOM. Maybe these ants finally realized how terrible their pathetic regimented little lives were. Remember that "tribute" in the ep of The Simpsons where Astronaut!Homer smashes the glass ant colony? "FREEDOM! HORRIBLE HORRIBLE FREEDOM!"
LM, this is where we need The Tick. Remember "Ants in Pants"??? Followed by that greatest of cartoon episodes (equalled only by "Bowery Bugs," "Citizen Kang," and that Critic episode where Jay is a Desert Storm hero) ... yes, I speak in hushed and reverent tones of "The Tick Loves Santa."
"Maybe this is why you get depressed at Christmas."
"It's ... a YULETIDE!!"
Posted by: Fellow Nerd Lori | August 16, 2004 at 11:06 AM
How did those ants get from Argentina to Australia, anyhow? Were they all on leaf rafts 62 miles long, and if so, didn't anyone see them coming? Queensbee, you're right - waaaaaayyy too much Fosters!!
(Judi - can't you use your connection to a rich, famous and powerful guy like Dave to get a private meeting with Mr. Jackman??)
Posted by: Lmd33 | August 16, 2004 at 01:25 PM
Egads! That says they were found in Blackburn. I live in the next suburb out!
And all this time I thought it was the neighbours stealing my honey.
Posted by: Meepish | August 16, 2004 at 07:25 PM
Been to Melbourne lately? I say the ants have no taste (except for Meepish's honey).
Posted by: LogikAl | August 17, 2004 at 02:58 AM
oops....i posted twice again :(
Posted by: cheekdog | August 17, 2004 at 10:12 AM
This is a test. I am testing HTML. If it accidentally gets [i]posted,[/i]ignore it.
Posted by: Trystan Shout | August 23, 2004 at 07:30 AM