GETTING DRUNK
... in The Land Without Noses.
(Thanks to the persistent schnooky34)
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August 16, 2004
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after 3 or 4 they all taste the same, right?
Especially Island Blue Pucker, which has a distinctly Windex-y taste!
Posted by: surfbunny | August 16, 2004 at 12:50 PM
On the plus side, no one ever again said
"How long are you going to keep us waiting for our schnapps, you incompetent wench?"
Only ONE of them thought it smelled funny?
"Don't drink it! I think it's poison!"
"No man, this is that Captain Morgan's deck swabbin' flavor. It's all good."
On the other hand, how many have used semi-processed schnapps on their toilet bowls, hmmm? I thought so. It's a fairly understandable mistake.
Posted by: Christobol | August 16, 2004 at 12:51 PM
I'm reminded of the film "Heathers".
Posted by: golfwidow | August 16, 2004 at 01:04 PM
hey, everybody likes a little bubbly, don't they?
Posted by: iolite | August 16, 2004 at 01:05 PM
To paraphrase Mel Brooks in High Anxiety, "That waitress is NOT getting a tip!"
Posted by: Sharon | August 16, 2004 at 01:11 PM
People who drink schnapps pretty much deserve what they get, nein?
Posted by: jamester | August 16, 2004 at 01:33 PM
I sort of understand how extremely drunk people wouldn't be able to tell the difference - ok, no I don't - but I ask you, how could an experienced bartender or waitress not recognize the difference when pouring? No matter how bad the schnapps is, I have never seen it foam up. Of course, I don't drink the stuff so that may be why.
Posted by: iolite | August 16, 2004 at 01:45 PM
Considering how often some people in small villages wash, it is entirely understandable how this could have gone unnoticed.
Posted by: Lmd33 | August 16, 2004 at 02:02 PM
The waitress was probably thinking about how the stupid jerks kept leering at her blouse and making remarks about her sexual activities and grabbing her ass when she turned to leave and vomiting over the table and peeing all over the bathroom without aiming then leaving her a $1 tip with their UNWASHED hands and god she would just love to spit in their drinks one or even better.......
Oh wait, I'm projecting again.
Posted by: Kilmeny | August 16, 2004 at 02:02 PM
So, in Austria they sell detergent and schnapps in similar containers?
I typically see cleaners in plastic jugs and alcohol in glass bottles.
Posted by: Bob | August 16, 2004 at 03:33 PM
Sure, that could happen to anybody. They look so much alike I have to be careful not to make that same mistake myself two or three times a week.
Christobol, loved "Captain Morgan's deck swabbin' flavor."
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 16, 2004 at 03:52 PM
In Klagenfurt guests threw a fit
When a beer maiden had to admit
She served them detergent
Yes, it was quite urgent
Then she told them to schnapp out of it
Posted by: slowlayne | August 16, 2004 at 04:20 PM
Clearly, schnooky34 is at it again.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | August 16, 2004 at 04:44 PM
There! This is proof! You see, everyone? Judi ADMITS that she hates me!
Posted by: Doug | August 16, 2004 at 05:46 PM
Doug - don't feel so bad. We all hate you....
Kidding, I'm kidding! We LOVE our Doug B!
Posted by: Higgy | August 16, 2004 at 05:50 PM
Oh, I mean, helluva haiku, slowlayne.
Posted by: Doug | August 16, 2004 at 05:50 PM
"Kidding," certainly you are. I know when I'm not wanted. TO JACK IN THE BOX!
Posted by: Doug | August 16, 2004 at 05:55 PM
Slowlayne.....echoing Doug. You rock.
Posted by: echo | August 16, 2004 at 05:56 PM
Do the schnapps and detergent bottles look the same? And what are they doing next to each other?
Posted by: entertainment news | August 16, 2004 at 06:38 PM
"Rich, hearty Waldviertler Försterschnaps -- now with scrubbing bubbles!"
Posted by: Gregg | August 16, 2004 at 07:01 PM
uh, if like somebody dies from drinking this could she be prosecuted? or maybe she needs new eyeglasses. she could clean them with the detergent. ewwwww.
Posted by: queensbee | August 17, 2004 at 02:53 AM
Customer: "Waitress, what's this soap doing in my schnapps?"
Waitress: "Adhering to strict German purity laws."
Customer: "But those are for beer!"
Waitress: "Ach. In that case, it's doing the backstroke." [pauses] "I'm here all week, please to try the veal."
Posted by: Lairbo | August 17, 2004 at 04:33 AM
Bloglit-induced crash of Doug's Geocities site....
Posted by: jcb | August 17, 2004 at 04:39 AM
Don't think it said whether or not she had kids???
"Mo-om, Timmy got drunk off the hand soap again! Mom, my soup looks like motor oil. Mom..."
Posted by: Writer's Cramp | August 17, 2004 at 05:39 AM
Meine Gott Leute, wir sind vergiftet worden! Und es ist sich auch nicht auf Alkohol diesmal bezogen! Wer hätte es möglich gedacht? Ich brauche einen bratwurst.
Posted by: The Federal Duck | August 17, 2004 at 06:15 AM
Oh boy! German! Du voy a celery ocken bistro Madonna pero gezundheit salutenbreathenshooter Dr. Phil ist sausagehead! I LOVE this game!
Posted by: Doug Brockmeier | August 17, 2004 at 06:20 AM
Klagenfurt waitress == eager straw flunks it
Posted by: MOTW | August 17, 2004 at 06:40 AM
Ooh! Very nice! Two eProps for you, Man Of The Woman!
Posted by: Doug Brockmeier | August 17, 2004 at 07:09 AM
I think you're all being a bit hard on the poor waitress here. I worked in bars and restaurants for many years and I can assure you that this could happen to anyone. I mean, industrial strength detergent comes in 5 gallon drums with POISON written all over it and Vodka comes in 40 ounce bottles with VODKA written all over it. They are near impossible to tell apart....
Posted by: Brendan | August 17, 2004 at 07:22 AM
Donkey shades, Herr Brockrautmeier
Posted by: MOTW | August 17, 2004 at 07:37 AM
I'm surprised the customers couldn't tell the difference. Industrial strength cleaner goes down a lot smoother...
Posted by: DRC | August 17, 2004 at 07:44 AM
slowlayne - you are quite clever and your poems always make me laugh...THANKS!
Posted by: jenny | August 17, 2004 at 09:56 AM
That's one way to clean your arteries...
Posted by: Chris Cypser | August 17, 2004 at 10:51 AM
Brendan,
If I'm not mistaken, I believe schnapps DOES come in 5 gallon drums in Austria.
Posted by: Delta Foxtrot | August 21, 2004 at 09:09 AM