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August 30, 2004


The book is out.


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W00T! I mean, arrgh.


Now please come to Pittsburgh on your signing tour. I'll buy you a beer.

OMG!!!! Dave, you're coming to Milwaukee!!! Very close to beautiful Kenosha, WI. You guys wanna hang out? I'll fix ya lunch and show you my bone collection. (wah ha ha ha ha!!)

Oh dear...that was (mwah ha ha ha ha)....not (wah ha ha ha ha).

Also, you guys can, ya know, crash on my couch if you get to drunk to drive home.


Oh...and argh.

*attaches wooden leg and dons eye patch*

Is this book really training materials in disguise for "talk like a pirate day"?!

My barnesandnoble.com wish list has been updated.

"Aboard the Never Land is a trunk that holds a magical substance that amazes – just a sprinkle, and wounds heal; just a dusting, and people can fly."

don't know about the healing part, but I saw some dust on COPS the other night that amazed people and made them think that they were flying.

The book is out? I knew that book was gay. Just the it said "Pirates" was a give away I thought. Still, the ladies will be disappointed.

Ahoy Moaties! Batten down the hatches! And you! Yes you. Prepare to walk the plank ye land lubber!

*hangs head in shame*

The people who designed that site must not have been thinking about users, the cursor being a sword sucks. You should complain to them about it in 'piratese.'

Congrats on the book, Dave, Mr. Barry. May you find many bloglits on the book tour, and may your hand not tire of signing autographs, or of trying to find the hotspot on the damn buttons on the Web site for the book.

Peter and the Starcatchers = Serpent Hat Cher, Castrated

I had no idea the book was coming out until I was stocking the Young Readers section yesterday, and I saw it. I wept for joy, right there between the Nancy Drew mysteries and the Hardy Boys. Thank you, Dave, for making my day a little brighter. And wetter.

Oh, and as you'll be in St. Louis, which is right near where I'm from, I'll buy you a beer. Or a few. Ridley too, if he is so inclined.

Dave's comin' to Denver!

See you at the Tattered Cover, Dave, and any fellow Denver bloglits.

Nice eye patch Dave. Ridley's mustache is quite fetching too. Please come to Philadelphia, Dave.

Bangi wrote:
*steals Polly's eye patch*
*bumps into mast*
how do u walk with one eye shut?

Why do you think so many pirates end up with wooden legs? They keep falling on the poop deck.

Did anybody notice that the sail on the last page of the site closely resembles a women's undergarment?

So where's your parrot, Dave? Aren't pirates supposed to have parrots on their shoulders?

Oh, hi, Judi.

Dave, don't know about the book, but cool site.

But Dave, since you're here now wouldn't it have made sense to sign books in New York this week? Oh, never mind, I get it, this is your clever way of getting your publisher to pay for a second trip to NYC. You sly fox, you!

*attaches wooden leg and dons eye patch*

Polly, Don wants his eye patch back.

I have to say that was an extremely, um, "massive" excerpt.

so, nobody bothers to look at the events page on davebarry.com, i take it?



Maybe if you renamed it "get paid for ogling tastefully naked models" you would generate more traffic, judi.

"Aboard the Never Land is a trunk that holds a magical substance that amazes – just a sprinkle, and wounds heal; just a dusting, and people can fly." --

Hmmm, did Dave get his inspiration for this from stories from Miami-based DEA agents "but Officer, it's a magical substance that amazes!! Honest."

Wait, Dave's signing books at *CostCo*? Am I the only one who finds this weird? I mean, even for Dave.

"tastefully naked models"

Is that some sort of variation on scratch and sniff ... look and lick?

judi, that's how I found out he's NOT gonna be in my neck of the woods.

Woo hoo, three appearances in Chicago! And Dave is going to be at my very own Costco! Maybe Ridley too! (I loved Parallel Lies.)

Okay, it's actually not *my* Costco. I mean, I don't own it or anything. But I wish I did.

So, Dave, what food samples will you and Ridley be passing out? "Hi, would you like to try some frozen reconstituted fish nibbles, and our new book too?"

It'll be hard to miss me - I'll be the slightly frazzled auburn-haired chick trying to wrangle her unruly sons so they don't spill their smoothies.


"It'll be hard to miss me - I'll be the slightly frazzled auburn-haired chick trying to wrangle her unruly sons so they don't spill their smoothies."

Are you sure you're not me?

You're sure?

Okay, cuz it sounded just like my life....

Released only in North America or all over? (I'm looking forward to the Antipodean debut)

Mr. Language Person,

Isn't that supposed to be ME HARDIES? And if so, may I be the proofreader for your next book?

Aye, that be Mr. Language-Lubber to you, matey! Avast and so forth.
Poop deck.


Serious question: what is the age group?

Never mind; question answered.

Can you please (pretty please?) stop in Eureka, CA on your way from San Jose to Seattle? What about between Los Angeles and Portland? Either at our local Costco or Borders, or just at my house, it makes no difference to me :D

sometimes I hate living in the middle of nowhere...

By the way, I just bought my copy. None of that "wish list" stuff for me, not when PIRATES are involved. *Arrrs*

Great! But the question I asked of this blog wayyyy back when the book was first announced has never been answered. Does the story involve boogers?

To Relapsed Cat:
You're never gonna be a proofreader if you don't know the difference between "Me Hardies"(??) and "Me Hearties," which is what it's supposed to be.

"Literacy, the last frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Weblog, whose continuing mission under Captain Mr. Language Person..."

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