FADS

2004's answer to the mood ring.

(Thanks to queensbee)

Comments

[Beanster]

Yay!First day back and I already have the first post! Victory!

[Beanster]

Yay!First day back and I already have the first post! Victory!

[Beanster]

Hehe, sorry for the double post. Anyway, that's a pretty interesting topic..Can't wait until they get installed in houses. You'd have to take care of it and feed it! I could even buy a tube top for the pipes!

[Midget]

Me again....anyone who is seriously annoyed may feel free to throw eggs at their computer monitors...here goes, though...

I'm participating in a Walk for the Cure for Diabetes next month...my neice was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at 18 months old. I am asking for donations to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. (I would link this, but I don't know how)

Visit www.jdrf.org , then click the walk for the cure icon at the top of the page. There is a window that lets you search for a walker to support....type in "Amanda Ray" in Ohio. Any donations you make would be a big help and are tax deductible.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled Tipiyokti. Thank you.

[iolite]

as if children weren't frightened enough of the toilet.

[Christobol]

A talking interactive toilet. What a crappy idea.
I hope I find one so I can...well...take a dump in it I guess.

[slowlayne]

It's art that is quite commodious
When in fluent Dutch melodious
A talking bidet
Was heard to say
"Well isn't your ass so malodorous!"

[golfwidow]

Scenario: You've had a drop too much, and must place a phone call on the Shiny White Telephone. Only thing is, you actually get a verbal response.

I think that might literally scare the crap out of me.

[Christobol]

So, if it says "have a nice day, a$$hole!"

you can't really take offense, huh?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Hey Judi, I sent this in TWO DAYS AGO! Toilet story. Sheesh!

[Gretchen C.]

God, that is *so* like the Dutch, having a toilet seat to berate you. (Goldmember references aside, I totally have a right to say this; my stepfather-in-law is Dutch, and he's *such* a pill.)

[Federal Duck]

Beanster said "feed it." That conjures up mental associations that I'm just not ready deal with.
I wonder if it's the good old fashioned 3.5 gallon toilets like real men use, or one of the sissy communist European-style new toilets that are now required by law. According to Dave, we're smuggling the real toilets in from Canada.
Hey iolite, I just thought of a business venture we should consider.

[D'Artagnan]

The next step would be to attach a computer keyboard (or a microphone) to the toilet, and all of a sudden you could be having a chat with the thing, all in the privacy and comfort of your own big dump.

"Say, ahhhh, whaddaya think of that one?"
"Hmmm, not bad. I saw worse last week, though. Triple dog dare!"
"Oh yeah, well check this out..."
"DAMN! Booger, dude! And that stink! Violent!"

[Kat]

How would our toilet etiquette change if we knew that whatever we did was being reported on? It's a little bit Big Brother for me, although it would be great to know if we need to wipe the seat or not BEFORE we sit down and find out for ourselves (I am speaking at this point for pretty much every woman i know).. maybe a moodring-like toilet seat that turned the little drips and splashes a different colour so we could see them ahead of time would be more practical, ... probably too expensive though

[Stinky McGee]

The proposed comments from this monstrous invention sound bad enough, but what if it actually critiqued you? For instance, if you sat down to do your business with the sports page of the paper, what if the can chimed in: "Hah! Sports page? From my perspective, looks like you'll be needing the New Testament to make it through this time!"

I doubt science fiction authors predicted this contraption...had they done so, we'd all have realized what a crappy future lie ahead...

[iolite]

Unfortunately, though currently installed toilets are not low flow in Canada, all the toilets now being sold are. I ask you, what is the point of a low flow toilet if you have to flush it twice or more to get rid of the, um, evidence? Sorry about the business venture, FD, would you like some snow instead? Our Summer is still sucking profusely - unlike the new toilets, I guess :)

Ever see the movie 'sleeping with the enemy' with Julia Roberts. Guess how her husband realized she was still alive. Yep, that's right, the stupid low-flow toilet didn't suck down her wedding rings when she flushed.

[iolite]

I'm not proud that I know this kind of thing, really.

My parents recently renovated their bathrooms and to their shagrin, couldn't find a regular flow toilet anywhere. The funny thing was that their issue wasn't the 'flow', but the shaping at the base of the bowl. Apparently the low-flow toilets have their pipeworks outlined in the ceramic at the base of the bowl and normal flow toilets generally don't which makes them easier to wipe down. Don't ask why I know this, as I said, I'm not proud of my knowledge here.

PS: I can only speak for my province, perhaps they still have normal toilets down east or out west. We can always hope :)

[Writer's Cramp]

I'm going to have to fly my dog to Amsterdam now just to see the reaction... both the toilet's and the dog's.

Btw... the dog hates low flow...

[judi]

well, jeff, TWO DAYS AGO, i was busy.

sorry. i do try to check but if it's not the same story it doesn't always show up when i search.

[Higgy]

I hate the hear the sound it makes if you clog it up and it overflows...

Probably sounds like "Raaaaaaaaaaaaaalph ... Heuuuuuuuuuuuy...."

[Kilmeny]

A nagging toilet? Would it tell you to lay off the twinkies if it thought you were heavy? Or maybe it would comment on your bikini wax, or lack of same. Or start laughing if you were a less than impressive male specimen.

Now that I would pay for.

[Mr. Tom]

I've used one of these toilet before. They're incredibly smart. When I was done it started preaching to me of the health hazards associated with not chewing your peanuts.

[Jeff Meyerson]

That's OK, Judi, I know you have lots to do, just use one of my other stories once in a while and we'll be even. Are you coming to NY with Dave? Hugh Jackman will be leaving soon. ;)

[crane]

There's something similar being marketed in Germany for home use that I read about a while ago, though it's much more limited than the Dutch mood toilets. The German version was designed for women who've been annoyed to death by their husbands' poor aim, so whenever you raise the seat, it plays a recording of a stern female voice telling you to use the toilet SITTING DOWN, because if you don't you'll just make a mess, and we both know you never clean it up!

[Wally Ballou]

What would the toilet say if you took its "artist" creator, ducked his head in the bowl, and flushed it repeatedly? (it's worth finding out)

[Kat]

hmmmm ... (using atrocious Bogey imitation) "Here's looking at you, skid..."

Never let it be said that I won't sink to the lowest common denominator ..

[queensbee]

i guess if we dont install them, the terrorists will win. great rhyme slowlayne!

[Chris Cypser]

I don't want my toilet to "detect exactly what I do."