ENOUGH ALREADY

Dear Mr.Barry,

In your column on July 25, 2004 you said that you and your friends started a band to meet women of the opposite sex. My question is, not trying to be picky, what other kind of women are there?
I do enjoy your column and try not to miss it.

Sincerely,

{name withheld so as not to protect the billions of other people who have actually taken out a piece of paper and an envelope, typed the same sentiment on a piece of paper that could have been used for something of value, and affixed a stamp worth 37 cents of U.S. currency to it, in order to mail it to this office, which is toying with the notion of throwing out all the mail that has arrived since July 25th so as never to have to read this ever again.}

Comments

[kingw]

But did you get a paper cut?

[Writer's Cramp]

I think I see your point. But would you have rather received a pre-approved application for a credit card? The greatest thing about those is that they often come with postage paid reply envelopes and you can send them a bug, or your fingernail clippings, or the rest of your junk mail, or a $1,900 piece of used Brittney Spears gum back absolutely for free. I love America!!!

[Jessica]

See djtonyb's entry - What he said!

Unfortunately, djtonyb, I don't think that humor is a skill that can be learned. There are a few people here at the blog that have tried to teach humor, and Dave has even tried it. (I am thinking of his telemarketer column.) Some people just refuse to see things "our" way. Don't try to sway them, just pity them. Besides, a joke that needs to be explained, somehow, loses its "funny".

[judi]

from 'greatest hits,' yes, one of my favorites. problem is, there were quite honestly fifty or more of these letters.

[qetzal]

Dave wrote a column once, with all the humor carefully identified and explained, for the Humor Impaired.

I don't think they got it.

[slyeyes]

DJT -- LOL

[John F'ing Kerry]

Dave,

You mean to tell me there are women of the opposite sex?!? Sonovabitch! But seriously, we all want to know about the Olympics. Specifically, how many people want to introduce themselves to you in the men's room? It's pretty bizarre, doncha think?

[iolite]

I am here to tell you that Dave's statement makes perfect sense. You want proof?? go out and see the Gay Pride parade or just visit your local drag club. I am a woman, and I tell ya, some of these guys are stacked better then I am ;)

[sj]

actually, women of the opposite sex is a perfectly good concept to anyone who ever listened to the words to 'lola'.

[Magnanimous Wang]

judi, close your italics with a ">/i<" as it would be much appreciated by everyone downpost of you.

[Lmd33]

Well, one good thing has come out of all of this - 'women of the opposite sex' is a pretty good nfarb.

[Magnanimous Wang]

rather, </i>

[judi]

AND i'm a woman of the opposite sex

[Higgy]

And might I say to judi, on behalf of all the bloglits of the opposite male sex...

Hubba Hubba

That is all....

[Christobol]

That reminds me of a joke.

A woman of the opposite sex walks into a bar with a chainsaw in one hand and a

no wait the chainsaw is in the other hand. In the one hand she has an assortment of brightly colored

no. there was a chainsaw tho cuz she'll need that when the minister tries to

huh

guess it doesn't remind me of a joke.

[Gregg]

This is why there are virtually no comedies on TV that are worth watching (in my opinion). It's all dumbed down for those "billions" of whom you speak. The humor is all reeeaaally broad, obvious jokes, not much subtlety at all, nothing where you have to think for a second to "get it." Some British comedies do that sort of thing better, more of a true sitcom, where they set up a situation, and then only in the context of the situation that has been set up is the rest of the show funny. But it seems that most of my fellow Americans just sit and go "huh? this is stupid," or in this particular case, "Huh? Of COURSE women are of the opposite sex, that's redundant, I'm going to write a letter to him right now to tell him of this grave error."

Whoosh! Right over their heads.

[Christobol]

You're right, Gregg. Americans lack the attention span to even finish a

[crash]

NO MORE ITALICS

[Ipso F'ing Facto]

Redundancy begets redundancy.

[Kat]

To paraphrase (totally out of context) Jack Nicholson in "As Good as it Gets" .. "I get it, and that makes me feel good about myself" I'm a grammatical pedant, but the humour is sometimes more important, and you have to let it go... and from this day on... I AM A WOMAN OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ... AND PROUD OF IT!!!

[user_user]

Maybe this guy should visit my college and take a look at the "women" here to understand what women who are NOT of the opposite sex look like.

[Brad]

I wonder if I can trick this blog into not being italic. Worth a try.

[Gregg]

What's all this talk about italics? Looks perfect to me. Judi's initial post is in italics, but nothing else is, unless a poster (like Brad above) made something italics.

Of course, I only use Firefox. Maybe other browsers have problems?

[slowlayne]

The grammar sometimes complex is
And Dave's humor some people vexes
Those solemn folks
Don’t' get the jokes
Of girls of the opposite sexes

[PETER]

Bravo slow, as usual!

TOPIYOKTI! (which is the booger plural in greek)

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Because not all women are of the opposite sex, duh!

[ALF]

maybe {name withheld so as not to protect the billions of other people who have actually taken out a piece of paper and an envelope, typed the same sentiment on a piece of paper that could have been used for something of value, and affixed a stamp worth 37 cents of U.S. currency to it, in order to mail it to this office, which is toying with the notion of throwing out all the mail that has arrived since July 25th so as never to have to read this ever again.} was trying to combot the joke with one of his own?

[ALF]

sorry - *combat* not *combot*

im from another planet, what do you expect?

[ferretface]

As I recall, beloved elf Radar O'Reilley used the phrase "women of the opposite sex" frequently in his awkward attempts to come of age. I wonder how many viewers of the opposite mental ability wrote to the producers of M*A*S*H to complain?

[Mike Weasel]

I've heard it expanded to "female women of the opposite sex." But then, I'm a government employee.

[golfwidow]

"I do enjoy your column and try not to miss it."

Instead of trying not to miss the column, they should try not to miss the point. It'd save time.

[slowlayne]

I do enjoy your column and try not to miss it.

Column? There's a column?

[Chris Cypser]

Well, let's not forget about hemi-women.

[Federal Duck]

*writing a letter to slowlayne*
"Dear Slowlayne,
In response to your recent blog post, I need to inform you that, in addition to hosting a blog, Dave Barry is also a well-known humor columnist. He also writes books, most of which get turned into movies. I am surprised you've never read any of his work.

Regards,

- Severely Humor Impaired

[jamester]

On the other hand, many people have never seen the movies..

[jamester]

So, Brat, there I was, all lurking on the blog and stuff ready to nail the unwary, when 43 people beat me to it. Being First! to the unwary is definitely a competitive sport on the blog...

[Ed]

My guess is that it is a lousy attempt at sounding "in on it"

Hey Dave,
That was funny.
*nudge* *nudge* *wink* *wink*
You funny guy.

Sincerly,
A. Gore

[zack]

Do what a friend of mine used to do with those postage paid thingies.

Tie a brick to it. Send it. Laugh.