EMPLOYMENT NEWS II

UH-oh.

(Thanks to Kaurie MacElroy)

Comments

[Miriam]

First!

[Lori]

Silver!

[D'Artagnan]

Bronze!

"Psychopaths tend to be charming, have a grandiose sense of self, and they like money, power and sex. They have strong verbal skills and can manipulate by telling a good story. Because they can talk big, you think they have vision and can lead an organisation, but a psychopath will mislead," Babiak said.

I'll believe this story when Christobol goes out and mass-murders half of the bloglits.

[punky brewster]

Oh my god ... that describes my ex boyfriend to a T. Um ... I've never written that saying before ... I that really how it's written ... to a T?

Anyway ... yeah, looks like my ex has psychopathic tendencies ... manipulative, very smart, very successful, charismatic, smooth talker and everything he does is planned, strategic and intentional.

PSYCHOPATH TEST (your answer determines if you're a psychopath)

This is a short story about a girl. While at the funeral of her own mother, this girl met a handsome guy who she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. Amazing enough for her to believe he was "the one" for her. He was perfect. 6'0", tanned, blonde hair, blue eyes, the works. They hit it off great! She even managed to smile just a little bit at the funeral. Unfortunately, when the girl went up to say some last words for her mother, the guy disappeared. She hadn't even been able to get his number! She was very distraught. Anyways, a few days pass and then... the girl kills her own sister.

Tell me why she did it. After you've come up with an answer, scroll down (or click Read More) for the answer. Think hard before looking!

Post your answer and I'll let you know if you are or aren't ;)

[slowlayne]

Punky - When did we meet at a funeral?

[Kat]

I think we should get all politicians at senior levels tested at this point.. I see a lot of disturbance in the ranks... you never know, if they were properly medicated they might accomplish great things!!!

[punky brewster]

(shhh, slowlayne. Just play along)

[Christobol]

There ARE ways of telling whether your boss is just a businessman or a pshychopathic baboon. Subtle tho they be, the signs are there for the observant. For example:

"We're gonna have to close down the Swinden plant because it's just not making money. We've tried everything. We'll do what we can to re-assign the workers, and those we can't re-assign will get severance packages."

OR

"Let's close Swinden. One of the receptionists there complained about all my groping. Oh, and put their severed pinky toes in this bag."

Can you tell?

[Lori]

Mmm, puzzles ... he worked for the funeral home? And that was the only way she could see him again?!

[punky brewster]

Umm ... the first?

[punky brewster]

Lori ... not exactly ... but close

*slowly backs away from Lori*

[slowlayne]

+ mental note to stay away from funeral homes for a while +

[D'Artagnan]

Punky, he was a cop?

[Lori]

Awww, punky, I showered today and everything!

Actually I can't tell how *any* answer would say anything about whether *I* was a psychopath or not ... could be I'm just a profiler, getting into the criminal mind and such!

Lori smiles dreamily and continues stropping her switchblade along her leather jackboot...

[Federal Duck]

I think it's because she found out that her sister is a blog spammer and it didn't have anything to do with the guy. Coincidentally, the guy is a perfect description of me, except for the hair and good looks and suaveness and the tan. The rest is dead on.

[rodgah dodgah]

she was hoping that the mystery man, perhaps a friend of the family, would turn up at her sister's funeral?

[Christobol]

Let's see, Punky.

I think she did it because when they were eight, her sister ratted her out for hiding lima beans in her napkin, and try as she might, she never could forgive, and she'd only refrained from killing the sister because she knew it would hurt her mother's feelings, but now that she had killed her mother, that was no longer an issue.

That or it's because her sister had dressed up in a gorgeous man outfit on the day of their mothers funeral to bust her on an episode of PunKed.

[D'Artagnan]

*all eyes/ears on Punky now, the heck with the original story*

[Christobol]

Elle - to answer your question: yes

[punky brewster]

rodgah dodgah ... I really hope you cheated, cause that is the exact answer.

Apparently all psychopaths (sociopaths) answer the question correctly ... the rest of us think like Christobol ... no wait ... we wish. The rest of us think something along the lines of "her sister ended up marrying the guy, so she killed her" or "it was an accident" or "the sister stole the girl's bling bling for a rockin' party at Snoop Dogg's crib and didn't return it, yo ... so the beyatch went all fashizzle and put a cap in 'er ass, Man".

[punky brewster]

(blocks rodgah dodgah's email address, just in case)

[rodgah dodgah]

THE ANSWER:

it's obvious.
The guy didn't "disappear" until she went to pay last respects to her mother. The truth is, the gorgeous man *was* her mother; who had tired of years masquerading in a mrs. doubtfire-style body suit.

her sister's death is correctly described in cristobol's lima bean story.

[punky brewster]

Too late, RD ... we're on to you, psycho-boy.

(just kidding. don't kill me)

[mike]

I realize this is a family column, but I was wondering if one of the 8 out of 100 Babiak found was my psycho ex-girfriend? She fit the description, didn't like working in a bueracracy, but had more of a "I'll just let lot's of men do close order inspection of my genitals" technique. I last saw her driving off in a car with the New York Stock Exchange. Not a guy from the stock exchange--the whole New York Stock Exchange. Talk about the market being up!

[rodgah dodgah]

damn, two days on the blog and already branded a sociopath!

I guess I'll just have to pack my bags and keep moving along.. =(

[punky brewster]

*grabs onto RD's leg*

Don't go ... I was just kidding. We like you. Really.

*lets go of RD's leg*

Lemme buy ya a beer ...

[Higgy]

That's NOT his leg you've got, Punky...

Rodgah's last name is Smith....

[punky brewster]

Amen to that, DjT.

And Mike ... she sounds like a lovely girl ... you must have been sad to see her go.

What's that? You kicked her ass to the curb? Ah, well then, good riddance to her and to the entire NYSE. May their bout with the clap linger longer than their memories of her.

I'm in a foul (albeit frisky) little mood today. Sheesh. Must be all the sun I got at the beach.

[punky brewster]

Oops, sorry Rodgah ... you should duct tape that thing down before someone gets hurt.

[rodgah dodgah]

I wish I'd checked this place out a couple of months ago, I worked in front of a computer all summer.
but.. the semester starts on monday, so I probably wont be around anyway. dont worry punky, your jokes are not to blame..

[Lee]

Heck rodgah dodgah, we're all nuts here! You fit in just fine! Plus, you take out your psychopathic tendancies on the spammers and trolls! Believe me, they deserve it - and we'll help! Or at least give you a good alibi...

[Christine the bean]

The blog does make the work day much more enjoyable. It makes me feel (almost) normal. Only the voices in my head would listen to me before I came here. It just gets me all teary eyed...I'm feelin' a little faklempt. Talk amongst yaselves...I'll give you a topic. Why the shuttlecock is neither shuttle nor cock. Discuss.

[rodgah dodgah]

what a coincidence christine, that was the essay topic on my GRE last week

[Christine the bean]

Yeah, and I'm Linda Richmond

[Linda Richmond]

WHAT??

[punky brewster]

I'm hungry ... what should I eat for dinner?

[BMX3]

"Psychopaths can spin a good tale, but they can't do the day-to-day work. They leech off other workers," he said."

HHHMMMMmmmmm. Any one notice that Judi is blogging a lot these days, while Dave is off cavorting around in Greece?

By the way, I got the right answer too. I'm pretty sure I heard it before, either that or I'm about to fire a lot of people.

[Christobol]

Depends on how hungry you are, Punky. But I suggest you try the souls of the weak, lightly buttered.

[Linda Richmond]

NO! I'm Linda Richmond, whoever I am.

[Christine the bean]

How about Chicken Parmesan. It's my favorite. I'll be over in 20 minutes. Thanks for the invite.

[Linda Richmond]

It's like buttah! (talk amongst yaselves...)

[Soupy Sales]

OK, Linda Richmond number one. Where you born,and why can't you spell right?

[Christine the bean]

It's RD. He's the imposter!

[rodgah dodgah]

I confess, soupy. I was born in San Francisco. but does that have anything to do with my ability to spell? how dare you!

[punky brewster]

Christine ... come on over ... I'll make some margaritas ... anyone else up for some chicken parm with a side of sould of the weak , lightly buttered?

BMX ... nice to see you ... it's been a while. Come have dinner.

[Christine the bean]

(sorry, RD. I spelled Linda's name wrong in the first place. I went to kalefornya schools too. Darn Ebonics.) Do you even rememeber what this post was initally about? Oh, yeah the hottie Hugh.

[punky brewster]

edit: soulS of the weak

[Christine the bean]

I am sooooo in the mood for some 'Ritas. Oh, I'm glad it's friday. Only 12 minutes left in my work day. Darn I hate Pacific Standard time when all of you Easterners have been out for like 3 hours.

[punky brewster]

c-bean ... I've been out all day ... I played hooky and went to the beach. I'll have to pay for it on Monday ... why can't my work do itself?

[rodgah dodgah]

let's hear if for KAh-lee-fohr-NIA.
Arnold is going to sign my diploma.

[Christine the bean]

You'd think with all the new technological advances, human jobs would be obsolete and then we could just get paid for doing nothing. Well, I really can't complain too much about my job. And my darn boyfriend called in sick and went to the lake all day without me. IT's NOT FAIR! I'm just jealous of your tan. The only radiation my body gets is from the glare of my computer monitor.

[Jeff Meyerson]

djt: You should have come north. We've had a really good summer except for the occasional torrential downpours, most of which flooded NJ and kept our lawns green. But mostly it's been cooler than normal and sunny. (Someone told me it was the 7th coolest summer on record, which is a good thing.) Punky picked a great day to hit the beach.

No chicken parm for me. I'm going back on South Beach for a couple of weeks to lose those pesky pounds before going to AZ.

[Christobol]

Pssst. I think Barbi's gonna kill us.

[Jeff Meyerson]

So does Sybil.

[EB]

Judi just described a good half of my Profession. What about talking for a living would attract such a person?????

DSMIV describes only LOW functioning Psychopathic Deviants. There are many HIGH functioning P.D.'s. Psychiatrists just didn't want to describe THEMSELVES!!

P.D.s run the World, the EB.

[EB]

Sybil , Multiple Personalities, and Borderline Females are the female half of Psychopathic deviant. They are actually more dangerous, and much more manipulative. They are the Bane of the Male Sex.

EB.

[fuggy]

I was in the US recently and read a book called "How to deal with difficult people for dummies" or something like that.
First it said: "If the person stares at you they are being aggressive and avoid them."
I live in Italy. Everybody stares.
Second, "If they gesticulate wildly, they are being aggressive and avoid them."
I live in Italy. Everybody gesticulates wildly.
Third: "If they repeat themselves, they may have mental problems."
Italians don't like empty air. It is OK, no encouraged, to repeat as often as you like.
There is no "awkward moment" if you say 'ciao' 10 times to the same person when leaving a party.
Hmmm, did the article say what national origins psychopaths usually have?

[Federal Duck]

Fuggy,
Take solace in the fact that in Tennessee, wild gesticulation is illegal and can get you excommunicated from the church and possibly deported :)
Neener.

[mybabe]

its her only way that the man will appear again... but how cud she?! me, i cnt afford to kill my own sis...