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August 20, 2004


For Sale: Piece of wood. Almost famous.

(Thanks to Doug Ciskowski)


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Slightly used to hit seller upside the head with ...

Here's another wood themed item (scroll down)

Get, Mahatma, how'd you miss the blank piece of wood? You're slipping.

Jeff: I know, I thought I had covered everything . . .

That is the most landfill friendly item I have ever seen on ebay.

Crash: there are WAY more landfill friendly things on ebay . . .

Guys, dumb as posts?

"Intended for, but not used in production."

If you believe that, I have a major league baseball that was intended to be, but not thrown to Barry Bond for his 73rd record setting home run. Additonally, it has not been autographed by Barry Bonds Himself!

Other items I have for sale, a baseball bat that could have been used by Mark Mcguire for his record setting 70th home run, but was accidently left in the clubhouse, and an empty beer cup I have from Busch stadium that I spilled jumping up and down when he hit the record setting home run, autographed and dated by the "Beer Guy"!

I walked by the Rolling Stones playing from the back of a flatbed truck parked on West 13 Street in New York City, in 1975, on my way to register for my next college semester (it was late summer) and still have the photo I.D. I was given on that day (not by the Stones). I'll sell it to the highest [pun accidental but I won't distance myself from it] bidder. It's a good picture from my Jerry Garcia lookalike-but-skinny (then, anyway) days, and, as my mother always points out, "At least your smiling, for once".

Also for sale to the lucky winners:

Sand from the movie "House of Sand and Fog"

Fog from the movie "House of Sand and Fog"

Harry Potter's zits.

Drool used for the creatures in "Alien Vs. Predator" (Specify 1 oz, pint or quart size)

Copy of the page in the script with the one funny joke on it from "White Chicks"

Assorted souls that have been sold to the darkside for a Hollywood career. (Specify agent, director or actor)

Very rare item! Rejected script containing story for an entirely fresh new concept in filmmaking.

Overstocked items: Remakes of good movies. Next up: Tom Cruise in "War of the Worlds." STOP THE INSANITY!!

(Please note: All items look best in shadowbox framing.)

MKJ, you were, of course, being rhetorical when you asked "Guys, dumb as posts?"


As a guy I hate to say it but any guy who needs "Hot Rod Condoms" must be as dumb as a box of rocks! The manufacturer claims the wearer can pop those bad boys on in three seconds. Big deal. I can do it in a NANO-second if I need to!

The more interesting thing is that the eBay seller is asking $2.65 each per condom. $2.65!! Hmm. A little Google search showed me that one retail site will sell you four for $4.95. Another has 'em for $9.95 per dozen, or 83-cents each.

Sheesh. Some guys ARE dumb as posts.

I would say that "Patented Speed-Strip Applicator" WBAGNFARB but it doesn't really roll off the tongue now, does it?

Speed Strip Applicator...uh...um...
that guy wasn't doing a very good job of blowing that sucker up.
The dad of a friend of mine in middle school could get condoms to grow 4 feet. No condom is ever too small, just like the candy bar post claims.

By the way, MJK, thanks a LOT for the link to the movie memorabilia on eBay.

I have a small collection of old radios. When I saw the "Seabiscuit" model I decided to bid on it. What the heck, the bidding was only like $10 or something. I thought I might get a bah-gin. They claim it even WORKS!

Hhhmph. I dropped out when my auto-bidder thingy got over $100. But I'll probably go back. I'll probably drop a coupla bills on something I didn't want in the first place.

Like I said: thanks a LOT! (lol)

"Intended for, but not used in production."

Instead of this piece of wood, I should just display my friend Julie, who was supposed to be an extra in "Miss Congenialty", but her scene was cut.

oh barnum was right. there is one born every minute. i would like to beat that person senseless for trying to sell that... but apparently, somebody beat me to it. duuuuh!

I'll frame that right next to my dirt that was almost filmed in Spider Man.

17 comments and not 1 bidder?? come onnnnnn ...

Trystan, you said it all: Stop the Insanity indeed. When I heard about Tommy Boy doing WAR OF THE WORLDS I thought it was a bad joke (well, I was probably right there) or an acid flashback (but I never did acid). You know it's going to be one of those big bloated all-digital movies with Tommy trying to act "intense" and serious.

Check please!

Not only is that a very valuable item, but its a good thing they made an effort to label the photo with a copyright. Imagine their horror if they were to find the photo appearing somewhere without their expressed written consent.

Jeff M.-
Maybe you will do acid someday....like a flash-forward...
(I'll take Kevin Costner movies for 100, Alex)

There's something about a woman in uniform . . .

Hey, that piece of useless faux hollywood lumber isn't named Keanu is it?

Somehow I don't think this is small enough for carry-on luggage

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