SURGING THROBBING (AND MEATY) CAMPAIGN UPDATE

Mr. Candidate --

Just so you don't think we're slacking here at your campaign Field Office --and in keeping with the theme of your Convention update today -- following is a picture of wrestler Mick Foley endorsing you.  We're on the cleavage as well. See picture of Erin "It's time we demanded less" Brockovich, doing same.  Seems to me that it is also a good time to remind the American people that Ben "I'm everywhere" Affleck was here first.

The Field Coordinator

(NOTE: Thanks to Ted, who is solely responsible for all endorsement photos, not to mention insane, for the reminder about Ben [see below]. In sending these photos, he added, "I would have tried to get a pic of Kerry somewhere along the way but I was afraid of his wife.")

Comments

[Mr.Fisher]

Does cleavage count as two votes? Just trying to stay on top of the cleavage coverage. Hmmmm, not a bad band name either.

[tony foster]

So why didn't Mr Ben " I'm everywhere" Affleck have his pic posted? i saw him during the speeches sitting up top with buddies and all....and certainly this wholesome ( and quite mesmerizing and tantalizing and...oh, forgive me) shot of Erin isn't the only umm....two vote shot available in the entire hall, is it?( sorry....I am masking my Mutley sickering....)

[Drew]

Surging Throbbing Meaty mysteriously anagrams to another possible campaign description:

Money-Grubbing, Straight

hmmm...

[tony foster]

So why didn't Mr Ben " I'm everywhere" Affleck have his pic posted? i saw him during the speeches sitting up top with buddies and all....and certainly this wholesome ( and quite mesmerizing and tantalizing and...oh, forgive me) shot of Erin isn't the only umm....two vote shot available in the entire hall, is it?( sorry....I am masking my Mutley sickering....)

[tony foster]

So why didn't Mr Ben " I'm everywhere" Affleck have his pic posted? i saw him during the speeches sitting up top with buddies and all....and certainly this wholesome ( and quite mesmerizing and tantalizing and...oh, forgive me) shot of Erin isn't the only umm....two vote shot available in the entire hall, is it?( sorry....I am masking my Mutley sickering....)

[judi]

tony: he did.

[Moe]

Is anagram a verb now, too? Damn I have trouble keeping up with these things. It wasn't long ago that I found out "spend" could be a noun.

(all in fun, Drew)

[Tetsu]

punky: Unfortunately, the only available campaign updates are the Robert MacMillan and Wink Martindale models. Which would you prefer?

[Moe]

OMG, I just realized that the grizzly bahstahd in the top pic IS Ben? I thought it was the rasslar.

[judi]

no, ben is in the post below. that IS the wrestler.

[Drew]

Moe, it's a subconscious Freudian thing. Basically what judi is trying to express is her desire to wrestle with Ben Affleck.

[Moe]

Ah, OK. The link to Ben had not been working for me (Server General 20 Second Gateway Time Out Error or somesuch). The rasslar does look a little like a beefed up Ben after a lost weekend, doesn't it? Just me?

[Anagramically Challenged]

So where does an ordinary person acquire a Dave for President sticker?

Oh...and here's the "my, what lovely ramparts you have, my dear" line.

[Shannon]

I think all the men here would say, if cornered, that the cleavage should NOT be covered.

I'm just sayin'.

[Mr.Fisher]

Hey, I'm just saying, that if there's ANY cleavage to be covered. I want to be ,that guy, who covers it. Anything new on your home front that we should know about Shannon?

[Walt]

I don't care if the cleavage is cornered or not, my vote is for uncovered

[Polly]

My cleavage wanted to express its dismay at that "Erin Brokawitch" pic...(sorry...my cleavage can be a catty little tartlet)...arguing that it's just not fair to have to depend on feeble male imaginations when trying to compete with a photograph.

They're wondering when they'll get their day in the sun.

[slowlayne]

A few of us men here wouldn't mind seeing Erin's cleavage covered - with a large tarp. Sorry. She's bordering on trailer park drag. (As Dolly Parton said, "It cost a lot to dress a woman cheap.") But we all have different tastes.

Then again some of us wouldn't mind rasslin' with Ben - especially if he brings his buddy Matt.

And I think I'm finally out of pathetic limericks.

[Zed]

I'd like to see more ramparts supporting the issues.

Huh huh, I said ramparts support...

[Mr.Fisher]

Didn't mean to pry, Shannon. But I didn't want to miss out on informing anyone of breaking news on the cleavage coverage, or lack there of. You know like uhm, a recent augmentation, reduction (?), nursing accident, etc.

[MadScientist]

Joshker - I'll take one for my country

[judi]

challenged, and anyone else who has a question about where to find something: most things can be found on www.davebarry.com somewhere. if it's not there, ask me and i'll see if i can put it there. in this case, the bumper stickers are on the "stuff" page (and probably linked to the "news" page as well).

[Polly]

MadScientist:
Wouldn't you rather take both of them?

[Polly]

Punky: Don't I know it!! I've still got road rash from the last time I let them out...

[slowlayne]

OK…just one last one:

That Brokovich tartlet in Boston
Has huge breasts that eclipse the full sun
The women are jealous
But the men tell us
She makes the Democrat's Party such fun

[Shannon]

Methinks Mr. Fisher shows a bit too much interest in my cleavage. For the record, there have been no changes or accidents; it has always been, and will continue to be, ample. Defintely more so than Ms. Brockovich's.

However, I'll leave the bulk (heh) of the public cleavage-baring to Ms. Brockovich et al., and save mine for my boyfriend to cover. ;)

[Mike Weasel]

Good work, Ted! Now go get Halle Berry. Especially if you can get her to wear the leather outfit with whip.

[Mr.Fisher]

Indeed, Shannon. You know , Me thinks I show a bit too much interest in ALL cleavage. And to prove it, I encourage ALL to update me with any new news on your "fronts" as well.

[Mr.Fisher]

Indoubledeed.

[rita]

*catty remark alert*

Uh, is it just me, or do those babies look a little......long? Like reaching-to-her-waist long?

I mean, if I were a man, which I'm not, I think I'd prefer to see ramparts cleavage that's a little....perkier.

*/catty remark alert*

[Jeff Meyerson]

Thanks for Erin's picture Judi. Now can we get Mrs. Lima?

[Higgy]

Rita - you fail to realize a basic credo of men everywhere (ok, slowlayne and a few others not withstanding) - when in doubt, CLEAVAGE = GOOD. The more cleavage, the better.

If it wasn't for the beatings that Punky would inflict, I would call for a MASS CLEAVAGE ACTION IN SUPPORT OF DAVE BARRY. All you bloglettes - get the girls out for Dave! Your support would entice men to the polls!

*cowers from the incoming beatings*

[Mr.Fisher]

And I for one, would dutifully volunteer my time to be there for coverage of all bloggerettes'.

[Vol]

Key quote: "Cleavage" is an uplifting and informative journey to the most eye-catching destination on earth: The space between a woman's breasts

[rita]

Oh Higgy, I realize that. I'm just sayin' that if I were wearing a dress that was open to my waist, my girls would have some support. Support = more cleavage.

I'm willing to show cleavage any time to show my *ahem* support of Dave.

[Higgy]

That's what we love about you, Rita... always there to "support" the team....

[Ted]

Rita --

You have been referred to the Field Office. We handle such submissions of support. A dossier would be nice.

The FC

[Jeff Meyerson]

Vol: thanks! Can't believe I missed that one. Sounds almost as uplifting as HBO's Taxicab Confessions.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I just googled "Mrs. Jose Lima's ramparts" and got exactly 1 hit: this blog!

Can anyone give me the link to the original ramparts story, or the date?

To paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen, "I know cleavage. I've seen cleavage. And that is NOT cleavage. Mrs. Lima .. now THAT's cleavage!"

[rita]

Ted--by "dossier" do you mean "naked photo"?

[Mike Weasel]

Wouldn't "bustier" be a more appropriate word?

[ted]

Dude,...Weasel, you're making the whole gender look bad....FACT, yes we do think of these things -- and in some cases, up to 14 times an hour, according to some studies -- but all I was curious was about where she's from, what makes her tick, what amuses her, and if she likes walks on the beach. And who she may have voted for in the last election, or when she first voted.

Ted

ps send the photo to Mike Weasel. Not sure his work e-mail can accept such photos, but Judi pimps for him, so send them to Judi.

pps: Judi, call me.

[rita]

Ted--Virginia, lots of chocolate and wine, men, and yes. Last election--I honestly don't remember who I voted for. They both scared me. And unless you're older than I am, you don't want to know when I first voted.

My girls and I got some time in the sun this weekend, too. Nothing like that rosy glow....

[Just]

Ahoy!!!