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July 30, 2004


... of Kansas City.

(Thanks to Justin Barber)


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Like there's a RIGHT frame of mind to be stopped by the cops...

To SoftServe & Protect.

I would never get stopped for this. Not to say I'm a bad driver, but mostly because I never really see any of our cops patrolling the street. Although contrary to the belief of someone from California *ahem-you know who you are :p* We do have more than just a few cops.

Now how do I explain this to my child he knows when I get pulled over it's for speeding. This is totally going to confuse him.

Jilly willy --
That reminds me of a time when my brother was about 4 or so and I'd driven him somewhere and he told my parents "You guys go fast, but she goes SPEEDY." I got in so much trouble ...

If they would pull you over and give you a ticket for a free parfait everyone would be driving nice. They'd be driving 20 miles an hour but they'd be driving nice.

Do we all need 'gold stars' for everything? Hey, you stopped at that red light!! yay! grow up.

Do we all need 'gold stars' for everything? Hey, you stopped at that red light!! yay! grow up.

I've never understood the expression "Taking a licking" I mean, didn't their mother teach them to keep their tongues to themselves? besides, who wants to just go around licking random things?

Make the cops give unti it hurts... like giving out coupons for free doughnuts!

I couldn't wait to get the "L" out of there, I guess... *sigh* and I did preview it, too!

It's all fun and games, until someone puts an eye out. Or an officer gets shot over a "good" stop...

Everything's up to date in Kansas City, they've gone about as far as they can go . . .

Next, on the world's friendliest police videos...

I scream!! You scream!! We all scream for good drivin ice cream!!

You know what would really suck? Imagine you and your buddies were at a baseball game and you were the desgnated driver (even OK in NL parks) and one of your buddies spilled beer on you. So you're driving home nicely trying not to rile up your tired drunk buddies and you get stopped for waiting for an old, blind, crippled lady to cross the street. So the officer walks up to greet you, notices the beer stench, asks if anyone has been smoking loco weed, and your drunk friend says he quit doing that in the 5th inning. So you have to explain the whole situation and hopefully don't get arrested. But you know what would really suck? If you were lactose intolerant.

Ice cream? Ice cream! Call me when they give out coupons for the free donuts & prostitutes.
(Or, as slowlayne points out, parfaits.)

This is all well and good (humorman), but how about giving out get out of jail cards or something. You know, the next time one of these asshats pulls you over for not stopping the "full" second at a stop sign and gives you a ticket for rolling thru it at 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning, with no traffic in sight. You could give them you "good driver" coupon and they would go away, instead of strip searching you, sure of the fact that if your out at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning, you must be a crack head or serial killer, or at the least "Smoking the Reefer"! And when no drugs, guns, whores, booze, or warrants turn up, you get cited for failure to yeild (to the darkness) and not signalling (so the darkness would know where your going). Just remember ONE AW sh!t wipes out 10 "Good jobs".

The cops are giving some favors

Which come in thirty-one flavors

We are asking, "What's next?"

Well, it's possibly sex

For not hitting those road pavers.

Hm. Our country to under orange terror alert. Experts predict that because of the 'Madrid Precedent', there will be a large scale attack planned during our elections. So, police are spending time giving out ice-cream to good drivers? Really, couldn't the politicians be doing something more useful? Restructuring and retraining the National guard to focus on terror prevention and recovery, for instance. Or recruiting citizen volunteers to form the equivilant of neighborhood watches for terror prevention.

Who is David Barry and does he like to swim?

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