EVIL SQUIRREL UPDATE
They're attacking in Canada.
(Thanks to Dan Sauberlich)
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July 30, 2004
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AAHHH!
Posted by: Boo Augustus | July 30, 2004 at 11:24 AM
Beat the hack out of Canadian goose poop all over the greens.
Posted by: Boo Augustus | July 30, 2004 at 11:27 AM
I'd think that there would be no major worries until the squirrels started dropping the golf balls on people's heads as they walked under the trees.
Posted by: MeL | July 30, 2004 at 11:28 AM
"Hire a coyote"???
Where does one look in the yellow pages for that?
Under Coyote, or Wile E. ?
*rimshot*
Posted by: Higgy | July 30, 2004 at 11:29 AM
Higgy - You look in the Acme catalog under Coyotes
Posted by: pogo | July 30, 2004 at 11:35 AM
Those must be Ninja squirrels!
By the way DJ Tony B I have the Acme catalog if you'd like to take a peek at it, let me know!
Posted by: Whurlie | July 30, 2004 at 11:37 AM
I theorize that dousing the balls in human urine would repel the squirels. (It would me!) Any of our Canadian brothers or sisters care to conduct a field experiment?
Posted by: Polly | July 30, 2004 at 11:43 AM
GAG
Gophers Against Golfers
Posted by: triller | July 30, 2004 at 11:44 AM
Time to call in Carl the Groundskeeper
Posted by: slowlayne | July 30, 2004 at 11:49 AM
Those crazy squirrels, eh?
Posted by: Blogchik | July 30, 2004 at 01:01 PM
I didn't see the portable hole the coyote tried to use. I think there are some things missing.
Posted by: BigD | July 30, 2004 at 01:11 PM
Send in Cletus T. Judd...
Goodbye Squirrel
Me and Harold Bumpert were outdoors men
Set in our backwoods ways
Both members of the huntin' club
Both active in the NRA (National Redneck Association)
We scouted a location where we had no doubt
We'd kill the biggest buck in the world (about a 34 pointer)
Harold waited in his tree stand but all he seen was a squirrel
Dang near two weeks since the the season started and
Neither one of us was amused
We had a on real tree camo, high-powered ammo
But no big game to shoot
Then we finally saw a deer as big as a horse
Harold had it in his cross-hairs
But that squirrel jumped off a branch above us and
Landed in Harold's hair
Harold fell off the stand, on his head he landed
Like a wimp he laid there he cried
Till I climbed on down, picked him up off the ground
And it didn't take us long to decide...that squirrel had to die!
HA ha ha ha ha ha ha
Good-bye squirrel-with black-eyed peas
Your gonna taste good to me-squirrel
It's you or me
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Come on out of that tree-squirrel
Hey guess what-You've eaten your last nut-squirrel
Me and Harold went down to the surplus store
Bought a keg of dynomite
Two baseball bats and a case of M80's
We were in for one heck of a fight-we'll show you
When your huntin' with dumb and dumber
Somethings surely bound to go wrong-now be careful
And when Harold lit that real short fuse
I knew it wouldn't be long
When the dynamite blew
Harold's foot did too
And fingers began to fly
We were barely alive when the Game Warden 'rived
And much to our suprise, that squirrel didn't die
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Good-bye squirrel
Just one more shot, you'll be in my crock pot-squirrel
You'll make a lunch, you over grown chipmunk-squirrel
I'll skin your hide
And make a hat when it's dried-squirrel
Hahahahaha......
Posted by: Mike Weasel | July 30, 2004 at 02:07 PM
Right, slowlayne, I immediately flashed on Bill Murray and the gopher.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 30, 2004 at 02:51 PM
Josker - I want to get squirreled. They just chew and chew and chew...
Posted by: MadScientist | July 30, 2004 at 03:10 PM