WHY WE RESPECT POETRY.COM

Because it has very high standards, as you will see if you go here and search for the poem "How Much I Love You" by Freemont R. Pustule.

What's that? You think it's EASY to get a poem published on poetry.com? You think they'll publish ANYTHING?? Well then suppose you prove it, buster or busterette! Be sure to use the last name "Pustule," so we can find your work.

Comments

[pandermom]

first. Actually first time ever

[Ray]

And I thought I was a horrible poet..

[Mike Weasel]

*sniff* I was moved to tears by that poem. I need a Rolaids.

[B-Man]

So, I'm assuming that the work by Mr. Pustule's distant cousin Festering, is in fact a post by a reader of this blog?

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Man, that was a lot of work

[Mike Weasel]

So is Mustelid W. (cough)

[Oozing Puss Filled Pustule]

I may already be a weiner.

[Mike Weasel]

The Poetic Pustules WBAGNFARB.

[MOTW]

Dave, puh-LEEZ! If you choose to post something that gross at lunchtime, have a heart and give us a warning or alert or something.

[Mike Weasel]

It's good to be on the west coast. This way, only breakfast is spoiled.

[gfunksizzle]

I tried to do visual free verse or whatever. It wouldn't let me put random spaces in.

[Drew]

Would you believe that the word "SCAM" is deemed inappropriate to use in a poem on that site!??!?!?!?! WTF?

Corr Pustules.

[jcb]

Wouldn't you know it, somebody else would use the first name "festering".

I'm the one from Asia: Fester Ng Pustule.

[MOTW]

Wonder how much Mr. Pustule paid to publish that.

Is it me, or did anyone else notice that the person who submitted the first article on poetry.com was Freemont Aaronson, and the "person" who authored the poem Dave liked is named Freemont Pustule. Same person, pseudonym?

[Mike Weasel]

Well, I believe the last time we did this (back in the old days of the blog), Dave encouraged everyone to use the name "Freemont."

[BarryFS]

You guys should use a throw-away email addy if you enter. Those guys make a killing selling your info to those spam guys.

[B-Man]

So are you gonna post the letter you get from poetry.com about how what they're doing is serious business and not a forum for you and other readers of the blog to simply make fun?

I'm sure these people won't be pleased by this use of what they see as a great opportunity for budding artists with real skill!

My nom de plume, by the way, is Shiny Red Pustule.

[chuckles]

OK MOTW - Warning Warning - Weak stomach alert - belated type. :^)

[BarryFS]

I was Big Mavis.

[Graz]

Yeah, in the old blog days the thing was to submit a poem by "Freemont Something or other" and make it a poem about The dog ate Mothers toes.

Some very fine poetry was written back then.

[Dave Barry]

You people are doing some fine work.

[B-Man]

You people are doing some fine work.

Maybe, if we get enough of these (of high quality, of course), they'll publish them all into a single volume and we can all buy one. Something like "The Poetry of the Pustules" or something like that.

[mudstuffin]

I just submitted a poem under the clever alias "Mudstuffin Pustule" and managed to use the word "sphincter".

[judi]

prissy p. here. writing about something other than sex.... oooh. wait.

[Lairbo]

Lordy, this is fun. Good thing it's slow at work today, since I can waste -- I mean SPEND -- time coming up with world-class bad haiku, AND laughing out loud at everyone else's brilliant entries. Kudos!

btw: I'm using Freemont A. Pustule. Should we all just keep using Freemont Pustule but each choose a different middle initial? Just a thought, I wouldnt want to impede the creative anarchy that's been loosed here.

[LabSpecimen]

Bonus points for "sphincter!"

Mercury Pustule

[Graz]

Zarg Freemont Pustule here.

Look for the Mother, toes, dog, and ate references.

They are very obtuse.

[Drew]

Does anyone else think it's in poor taste that they (poetry.com) have a memorial to Mattie J.T. Stepanek? I mean are they claiming to have some affiliation with his short poetry career...

[chucke]

I loved the Prissy Pustule piece, judi.
'move to Snotty'!

[Angie]

Every time I hear or see the words Weed Whacker, I know think of Chaos. That guy is one of the greatest characters in American Lit. Screw Tom Sawyer.

[Lairbo]

drew
"Poor taste" doesn't begin to describe it. Was his poetry short or just his career?

Anyone willing to volunteer for the "help with rhyming" link to the right of the main page? I write haiku, myself, so either I don't qualify or I'm perfect for it. Hmmm.

[heLP!]

HELP! How the heck do you find the poem? I search for Freemont Pustule, get the title of the poem, click on it...and there's this giant list of books!!?? Which do I click on???

[P. Diddy]

Here's a twist on the theme: reuse all of the words (no more, no less) from another fine Pustule poem. P. Diddy Pustule's "Variant on a Worland Woman and Thermopolis Girl" is a, umm, variant of "Worland Woman and Thermopolis Girl" by Corr Pustules.

[lenny]

>Does anyone else think it's in poor taste that they >(poetry.com) have a memorial to Mattie J.T. >Stepanek?

His poetry is about at their level of smarm...

[fort]

Check out the Butt Pustule entry.

Some of my finest work!

[judi]

also pestilent. but i'm not the one who decided to write an ode to snotty.

[help PLEASE]

When I search for "pustule" I get a page with all the titles of your poems on it. Then I click on one of the poems and I get redirected to a list of books! How do I get around this???

Help please

- a fellow pustule

[Suxie Q Pustule]

Isn't it great that a bunch of people who cyncially ask for crappy poetry in order to get cash get mad at people like us who cynically(but happily!) use their site to publish stuff that NO-ONE but us will read?

Sweet.

[LabSpecimen]

Help: The poem should be above the gray box that contains book ads.

[Bismuth]

A. Bismuth Pustule rides again!!!!

[help PLEASE!]

Lab Specimen-

I don't see a gray box...just a list of books.

[MeL]

Hey Everybody!! I haven't been around in so long. Eesh!! Hey did they actually get the clock fixed?

[Suzie Q Pustule]

I think Testu Q Pustule's poem is my favorite so far....Extra points for the MacArthur Park reference, I would think, not to mention "crimson Room" and "blowjob Phoenix".

[Tetsu]

Wow, thanks.

I'm happy to know that my 10 minutes of highly-productive work is appreciated.

[Tetsu]

Wow, thanks.

I'm happy to know that my 10 minutes of highly-productive work are appreciated.

[Tetsu]

Curses! My first double post!

[Boo Augustus]

Whew. That was hard. I'm not much of a poet, but Pat McGrown Pustule left an poem about Speckles, from the murderer's persepective anyway.

[Mike Weasel]

k, using this very blog as source material, I created this lovely poem:

Dave 10:12 149; Comments 17 &#
149; Comments 8
149; Comments 46 &#AM &#
149; permanent link to Tess &#
149; posted by
internet You folks in a cruise. Thanks to Tess &#
149; posted by Dave 02:PM &#
149; permanent link to this item >WHY WE
aspire
TO this item >June
30, LINKS &#But HOW DO
stuff like this.
item >A KEY Quote: broken, and
there Thanks to
know when THE exhibit is one
Thanks to this BLOG
not JUST
humor the Office
Unless
You need to your BLOGGING ADVISORY >
judi 11:149; permanent link to APPROACH THE poem
published on the ONE UPDATE > Friends
and she feels that Katie extensive
interview with Thanks to
a urinal ,
and Indian
War. &#on Dream Vacation, June 21, 149;
February
2003 • posted by a letter to
this item >June 28,
2004 02:09
34 AM &#
149;
posted by Dave 05:PM TAKE any
money for the story We interrupt this item >HUNKS OF
it. yooooour wayyyyyyMore columns...

[Suzie Q Pustule]

Hoo boy...

If it's hard to cough discreetly to avoid waking one's roommate...it's even hard to read this stuff and not laugh loudly enough to wake one's roommate!

[MeL]

Hey Hey Sexy DJT..Are you sure they were really fixing something or was there an alternative activity going on when the switch got hit with a bum?

[Boo Augustus]

Kudos to Lying Crapweasel Pustule.

[MOTW]

MeL - Welcome back, Girl! I think that while the Herald server was down a couple weeks ago, they fixed the clock. Judi had to ask if it was always set at Eastern time ...

[MeL]

Ya know...work really detracts from hangin out here if they don't give you net access except on breaks but only on 5 computers for 1000 people.

[Graz]

I did my blog with the generator.

It was so beautiful..*sniff*

I wish I could get the proof copy that they send.

But I put my address as Nigeria.

Miami, Nigeria.

[Zaratustra]

I'm glad to announce that 'More of Our Hens', the seminal work of webchat robot Myew, has been accepted into the contest. (No, I never posted in the blog before.)

[theocean]

stairway to heaven, highway to hell, mandy...what's the difference? all barry manilow songs.

i put the sha in shabang. i put the gong in bang a gong.

your dirty, sweet and your my girl y

you fell in the dirt and rolled in carmel stuff

bang a gong

[afurrica]

You know, I never liked poetry.

Then I read the inspired work of Lying Crapweasel Pustule.

Wow.

[Joi(Suzie Q Pustule)]

I think some of the best poetry is the names themselves.... Zarg Freemont Pustule...Tetsu Q Pustule...Brokn Open Pustule...they just roll of the tongue so lightly...

[P. Diddy]

Pop Da Pustule

[Pop]

My browser didn't open the poems either but a right click and open in new window does work.

[Pop]

My browser didn't open the poems either but a right click and open in new window does work.

[Pop]

My browser didn't open the poems either but a right click and open in new window does work.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

(Man, there must be a lot of English majors around here)

[Trav Pustule]

I do not have time

To write these lines

Because I am at work

My stifled views!

My muffled muse!

Cause my boss is a jerk

(Sniff. Feel my pain.)

[Bismuth]

OK, I have had more time to come up with a much better (?) poem...

Enjoy

[B-Man]

So how much would you guys pay for a book of "Pustule Poetry"?

[Joi(Suzie Q Pustule)]

argh! I did the poetry IQ thing and wrote a funny poem for it, but apparently it doesn't publish those on the site. Grrrr......

[Chris Cypser]

Well, it should be pointed out that there aren't any standards for simply posting your material on that web site. However, as Dave himself has personally proven in the past, there are also no standards for being declared a "finalist" in their habitual contests and getting a fancy letter sent to you with a book offer.

[Higgy]

Higgy the Pustule has struck hearts into the fear of men....

[LMC]

It's a total rip-off to try to take their poetry quiz -- they email you the results! Well, [email protected] (that brilliant writer Freemont J Pustule) is going to get some interesting feedback. Now I'm going to have to look up "Doc Hill" to see if I got that right. I'm sure I aced the others ... my poem, if they ever post it, is called "The Test" (not terribly brilliant, I fear, I just wanted my test answers).

[Joi(Suzie Q Pustule)]

they only e-mail you the results if you use your real e-mail address.....

[Drew]

Use mailinator.com to avoid giving out your real email address. You just make up a (whatever)@mailinator.com address. Then, when something is sent there, the server at mailinator.com makes the mailbox on the fly and you can check your email. Give it a look, I use it often.

[Drew]

www.mailinator.com Above link is messed up.

[pogo]

Better than a bogus email address, put in your friend's, boss's, worst enemy's email address. Or put in an address at poetry.com!

[Blogchik]

These entries had me LOL...my coworker gave me a funny look.

I think I'll be Blistering Crusty Pustule.

[Drew]

Nice one Uzi Ng Pustule!

[Blogchik]

I forgot I was going to be Blistering Crusty Pustule.

I'm just Crusty Old Pustule. It probably comes out as Crusty O. Pustule, since I put "Old" as my middle name.

[Blogchik]

OK, I just submitted one as Blistering Crusty Pustule. So I have one as Blistering Crusty Pustule and one as Crusty Old Pustule.

Yum!

Yes, Uzi Ng Pustule's was brilliant.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

You're a poet and don't know it
Your feet show it,
They're Longfellows

signed:
didn't really write that one

[Aaaargh]

FYI, if you go to the "Contact Us" link, you can get their snail mail address. I wonder if they check it, or if their mailers are automatically generated? Wouldn't it be funny if they themselves received an offer to have their original poem published?

[Jennifer]

I just submitted two poems as "Whangdoodle J. Pustule" protesting the Mattie memorial on the front page. I put my ex's address down for the contest. Hah. Gee, I really hope I win!

Hey, who were those folks last year who were saving all the Freemont poems? Can we get them into action this year to save the Pustules before they get deleted?

[marlodianne]

I'd like to announce the publishing debut of Sucking A. Pustule, whose entire body of work was completed during a brief break in washing dishes..
.

He just had to join his proud family ;)

[russell]

If Russell Pustule can do, it so can you!

[russell]

damn,you,itchy,comma,finger

[I R Pustule]

marlo: I R Pustule was so inspired by Sucking A. Pustule's inspiring body of inspired poetry that he wrote an ode to your ode.

[marlodianne]

If you want you work saved and archived on my webpage, submit a copy of your pustule work to [email protected] with 'pustule' in the subject.
Include any info you find relevant, such as Pustule's personal bio.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Not good:

The page cannot be displayed
There is a problem with the page you are trying to reach and it cannot be displayed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please try the following:

Open the www.poetry.com home page, and then look for links to the information you want.
Click the Refresh button, or try again later.

Click Search to look for information on the Internet.
You can also see a list of related sites.

HTTP 500 - Internal server error
Internet Explorer

[Boo Augustus]

I like the fact that Poetry.com includes a copyright notice at the bottom of each submission. It makes it feel so official.

[Aardon Debilius Pustule]

It's just not the same without mother's toe.

[Trav]

Well, over the course of the day have come to strongly desire a copy of the Poetic Pustules book.

Freemont R. Pustule's touching ode, "Flatulence" moved me in a profound way as expressed in liters of coffee passed through my nasal passages.

If only someone less lazy than I were to compile an e-book. A web domain! A REALITY TELEVISION SHOW!! "Last Heroic Poet Pustule Standing!"

[Pot Smoker Pustule]

I don't know about the rest of you -- but I decided to write an especially bad poem for poetry.com -- and if it wins a contest and gets in a book, I would almost be willing to pay 50 bucks to see it in my book and most likely no one elses...

[James]

Poems suck
Yes they do
I think they suck
AND YOU DO TOO!

that one got through

[Jim Legans]

Help - for some reason I gan't get the poems. I've tried all suggestions made so far, and I just get the listing of books (with nothing above the title)

[Lmd33]

Okay, done.

[Lmd33]

Btw, "Snakes Alive" shows real talent, I think.

;)

[Chet Remington Pustule]

I finally found someplace to publish the "Pimple Song" I wrote in l987 (or so). It was the whole pustule motif that did it for me. I feel so--REFRESHED.

The resultant anthology could be called "A Child's Garden of Acne."

[Megan]

Could this be Dave's way of having us entertain ourselves for a few days?

I wonder...

[Liz]

Fartwise X Pustule. Read it and weep (because its soo, soo awful).

[Guin]

*****SPEW***** Thank you, O POETICAL BLOGLITS!
I am in tears....particularly moved by Lying Crapweasel odes....

[Megumi]

maybe it's just you.