« Previous | Main | Next »

June 22, 2004




Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

blasted spam. I would rather have Dave D last

Blasted spam. I would rather Dave D was last.

Well, we certainly caint have none doubleposterers LAST, neither.

kingw - a double post makes a LASTing impression!

kingw - a double post makes a LASTing impression!

I must agree with your LAST comment, Eleanor...

wow, a 25 minute gap between double posts...What, are you using the LAST surviving Commodore or something, Eleanor?

Now I did it too, and the same of some other threads - methinks there's something going on here today!
But since no one's paying any attention to me on any thread, what difference does it make?
*sits on pity pot*

tsk tsk, Eleanor, I have never double posted on accident (purpose yes, accident, no). So what does that say about me? That I'm smart? Sophisticated? Fried-Worms free? That stuff is all implied, of course, but what it really says about me is that I have too much time to wait around and watch the page load instead of getting impatient and clicking 'post' twice. And that's the LAST word on that.

Are you looking where to buy LAST online ? Here is place where you can order cheapest LAST online - just visite our site http://www.buy-LAST-here.com .

Good for you, Smark!Ihear that's your (not you"re)new nickname - how do you feel about that? Will it LAST?

when I started this post I swore I wouldn't use "the" word, but I was unable to stop myself

*smacks self upside head*

Bravo SMII! LR of 1:8.1, VERY impressive. I think I'll just pop over to buy-LAST-here and pick up a new supply.

from the Betelgeuse Herald, Octember 43, 2657

Today the Internet was closed down to make way for the new Galaxy-Wide-Web which will be accessible by direct brain-implant. The official last site on the web was 'The Dave Barry Blog' whose origins are lost in the mists of time. Among the final entries were one from a 'Slartbartifast Mark LXVII' from Squidworld 4 and a computer program calling itself 'Dave D.'
Unfortunately ,due to the time-space continuum, it was impossible to tell what the last entry was.

insomniac: you are brilliant!!!!! as brilliant as a diamond that will LAST forever!I bow before your greatness!
Take a LAST victory lap around the MOAT!

This would be a fitting name for this post topic, anyway...

Nothing wrong with this text here - as far as I can see...

Smart Slart Smark (but not Bart) I am so relieved when an experienced bloglit occasionally makes a wee misstep. Makes me feel like maybe there is hope for me yet. *sends Smark nice maternal hugs*

Insomniac, I love it. In the long run, nobody'll care who was last.

But Dave D., it won't be you. :) (By the way, thanks for playing; you're an awfully good sport!)

That's the point Higgy - it goes horizontal as far as the eye can see!

But Dave D., it won't be you. :)

Of course it will be me, in the meantime S Mark II turned me on to a great deal to pass the time - 8 maids for only 40 dollars - I missed the fine print while totaling up the entire Christmas bill. There are savings to be found out there - just do not wait to the LAST minute to do your holiday shopping.

That said, WalMart does not have American made maids - anyone have the low-down on finding home-bred maids? Looking for a package deal here, one or two won't LAST - need eight.

I am Last.

LAST word for tonight - I cannot believe this thread LASTED this LONG--------->>>>

Wishing you all the best during the holidays and through the next year and beyond...

One LAST thing, eh? Right.

Dave D - there's a time out until this is fixed, so save your breath (or fingers)
And the is the LAST time I'm going to tell you.

Wishing you all the best during the holidays and through the next year and beyond...

Wha...? That sounds as if you are going away, Dave D., and leaving us all alone for a while.

*pouts* I mean, what's the point of lasting if Dave D. isn't around to counter-last?

(Eleanor - the "as far as the eye can see" bit - I'm still giggling!)

Looks like the Bored Dork from Hell was here - his posted by: is blank - that won't LAST - will it?

Smark. I'm not sure:

Smark! Smark! Smark!

Sounds a bit like a dog with a cleft pallet to me...

Ooops. That LAST post was LASTless. And that is the LAST thing we want for a LASTing impression. Since visiting "buy-LAST-here", I now at LAST have a decent supply of LASTs to LAST with. One could say a LASTing supply, but I would be the LAST to do so.

Ooops. Forgot about the non-wrapping in that LAST post.



Smark! Smark! Smark!

Love the sound/image of that. But it HAS to
be one of those sausage dogs barking for it to work for me.

As I was starting to say:


That LAST post is, I think, a new record.
10 LASTs in 49 words, or a LR of 1:4.9.
To keep things fair though, I think we should
make it a rule to have at least 10 LASTs per
post. More is fine, but at least 10.

And how about we append LR=*ratio* at the bottom
without it contributing to the word count?

*Gawd, I have to get a real life at some point*

I am always here, Dave, and will continue to be here until, at LAST, I win...or something..what's the point of this thread again?

wysiwyg, I'm glad to /read/see/ that you haven't died a horribly and tragic death soon to be released as a daytime movie. I agree with your LR appendage (tee hee!), although saying the ratio always guaranteed a couple extra LASTS in the post. Oh well, not I'll have to think about it s'more.

Wysiwyg, I'm afraid that is
far too complicated for me.
I'd earn 6 Silly Billy Awards
each time I tried to post, hon!

*wonders how she can make her
"posted by:" be blank.*

After all, my mind is blank sometimes.

Glad to see a LASTing impression was made. Although having a blank LAST would be kind of silly. Who to credit the LAST with, after all? Dave was not the LAST, but not the FIRST person I'd think to have figured out how to figure out how to figure it out. Do we get extra special LR points for FIRST's?

Marvin, your name makes me smile.
I love to play with words.
And I see your last name is Andriod.
It makes me think of life here at the blog:
It is odd, and still odder yet.
You could say it is Odd And-ri-od!

Laugh with me, Marvin,
it's (not its) just a gentle jest! :)

TelL ASTrologers that eLASTically bLASTing a cooL ASTeroid into smithereens is nonsense, and the LAST thing make you do, before setting off the pLASTique, is signing your LAST possessions over to them. Not really topical, but this 'LAST' topic is the LAST place I'd look for consistancy. LASTly, does this LAST name of mine leave a LASTing impression?

[12LASTS:58WORDS = 1:4.83]


Oh, and just because I was told
to say this over on the main blog,
(though nobody can really explain to me
what is so terribly wrong about it):


[0LASTS:31WORDS = 1:31.00]

Even with vasts amount of intelligence at my fingertips,
I really haven't a clue as to what you are possibly suggesting a slightest glimmer about.
Although I find it amusing that 'Paranoid Android' can be rearranged to spell (not smell) 'Indoor Panda Raid.'
So I will laugh at that, and pretend to be laughing with you.


Marvin or whatever you are
calling yourself at the moment
(Where do you come up with these names??)

You are too funny.

How about this name: Slastiblastflast

I happen to know
that Slart/Smark (but not Bart)
isn't using his moniker at the moment,
so I'm guessing he wouldn't mind.

Hello? Did I scare you off?

*whispers* Everybody is gone.


I killed the Dave D. Last thread.

*bows head in a moment of silence,
in respect for the dead thread.*

Ok, that's long enough.
Woo-hoo, Last, I'm Last!!

Last, last, last...

nah, it's too good to last. ;)

Memo to Slart:
It just goes to show, even 653 years from now,
newspapers will still have typos.


Good one, but you have raised a few important issues here requiring extra rules:

1) You have to be grammatically correct -
carefully reading your post reveals a couple of
problems there.

2) Use of a FIRST results in a one LAST
deduction. Firsts are for the other end of the

3) Generation of a LAST by using the end of one
word and the beginning of the next counts as two
LASTs, because its harder - I agree with Smark
*snicker* about that.

4) Use of fully embedded LASTs, like pLASTique,
don't count. Its too easy, and we have to have
standards here.

So on a rearrangement and recount of your submission as follows:

TelL ASTrologers that elastically blasting a
cooL ASTeroid into smithereens is nonsense,
and the LAST thing you do, before setting off the
plastique, is to sign your LAST possessions over
to them. Not really topical, but this 'LAST' topic is
the LAST place I'd look for consistancy. LASTly,
does this LAST name of mine leave a LASTing impression?

I get a LAST count of 11, with a word count of 58, or an LR of 1:5.272. Which is still a damn good throw.

...but of course still not quite far enough.

Can/t anyone fix this????
new rule short sentences only
scrolling sideways makes me dizzy
wysiwyg: I'm not smart enough
to follow your rules, so
I can only say: pLASTic, eLASTic,

LAST Call!

Can/t anyone fix this????
new rule short sentences only
scrolling sideways makes me dizzy
wysiwyg: I'm not smart enough
to follow your rules, so
I can only say: pLASTic, eLASTic,

LAST Call!

Can/t anyone fix this????
new rule short sentences only
scrolling sideways makes me dizzy
wysiwyg: I'm not smart enough
to follow your rules, so
I can only say: pLASTic, eLASTic,

LAST Call!

triple post
I'm so embarassed
but I'm sick
everytime I sneezed it posted again!

triple post
I'm so embarassed
but I'm sick
everytime I sneezed it posted again!

*not even attempting to follow wysiwyg's rules*

Eleanor, really, there is nothing
anyone here can do.
Once the margins are stretched,
they are stretched.
Yes, Dave and judi's
technical people could probably fix it,
but they have much to do.
(I don't think maintaining
old threads in the blog
is their primary job description!)
So, we just need to remember
to hit return periodically.
I like it;
it gives the thread a look of poetry. :)

Have another moatarita with me!

[0LASTS:73WORDS = 0:73]

psst, I am the reincarnation of Slartibartfast Mark II/S. Mark II. I have committed suicide and am reborn smarter, faster, stronger, gassier. Yeah, I know that other post wasn't particularly grammatically correct-ful, so. And i got my names from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker 'Trilogy.' And yes, now I will never hit the enter key again, so that perhaps it will drive one LAST person away.



So now we have to
Put our posts into haiku
To avoid scrolling

And, so then what, in fact, does a 'LAST' count as? I assume one, so you have no need to answer.

Very good, leetie!
Marvin, go away
and that's the LAST time
I'll tell you

Very good, leetie!
Marvin, go away
and that's the LAST time
I'll tell you

Very good, leetie!
Marvin, go away
and that's the LAST time
I'll tell you

Oh, &*(%$!
I wanted to JUST print out the ASCII messages that were left recently on this thread.
And I printed out the whole thread!
So ,if I lose my job,this may be the LAST message from me.
In the interests of science it was 79 pages.

*looking around*

*peering into Corners*

Pssst... anybunny out there? (said sotto voice)

*straightening up*

Well GOOD....

L A S T ! !

Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!
still sick - earwig - still
crazy after all these years!

Sorry, Just - but I didn't say
"it"- so I don't think my
post counts

Don't worry, Eleanor, you are the LAST person we expect to be LAST. I'm about as dulL AS They come, but, well, I don't have any more things to say. THAT's how dull I am. So, I will stay to the LAST and say that staying is what I will do, so, at LAST, there. I'm not getting you down at all, am I?
(And it was amusing that I read 'the LAST time I'll tell you' twice)


Marvin - didn't you read
the rule about short sentences?
I'm already sick - achoo! - and now
you"re (not your) making me dizzy -
If you keep this up, you won't
LAST long with me!

Marvin - didn't you read
the rule about short sentences?
I'm already sick - achoo! - and now
you"re (not your) making me dizzy -
If you keep this up, you won't
LAST long with me!


OOhh, here's another thought to ponder...does 'LASTly' count?
What about 'LASTing?' The LAST's aren't 'embedded,'
but they are part of a larger word, but 'LAST' is the origin of the words...
Ah, looking back, I see wysiwyg said 'fully embedded' LAST's, so those should be ok.
And notice how I did not leave my post un-spaced out this time,
because Eleanor is the LAST person I wish to upset.


Marvin - Get a Life!!!

pLASTic, eLASTic, schoLASTic

Yes, Slarvin.
If you had really wanted to hide you would have changed your addie.
I thought it was funny.
In all your incarnations.

I knew your moniker "Slartifartblark"
(yeah, so I got it wrong!
The name is difficult to spell, ok?)
came from the HGTTG but
as I've not had the pleasure of reading
that particular "trilogy,"
I didn't recognize the Paranoid Andriod.

And Eleanor,
as Smark the Smarvin
has been around longer than either of us,
he is quite likely to outlast either of us, too.

Insomniac... oh dear.
79 pages? Ouch!
(Sorry that it makes me giggle.)

As I do not speak ASCII, would anybody
care to translate?
Or were you all just speaking

I'd be glad to link to a site
wherein you could decipher all of those zeros and ones, but alas, it is now
Instead, just search for 'binary' on google and,
at the LAST minute, hit 'I'm Feeling Lucky.'

neo - are you saying that Paranoid is really Slartwhatever? what does it all mean? and what is ASCII - you've been here longer than me and everyone seems to like you a lot!!

I'm sooooo sorry that I
wrote out too far -
neo, please forgive me
*loves new a MOATini*

that should be
*loves "neo" a MOATini*

It was Christmas day last Easter,
On a Friday night in June,
I shall not forget that day until I die.
We were in the Bay of Biscay
Just a mile from Barking Creek,
When the Captain hung his whiskers out to dry.

He was known as Mad Carew,
And he lived on Irish stew,
And the space around his tongue was always dry,
He would drink for hours you bet,
And to save them getting wet,
We used to hang his whiskers out to dry.

He was only ninety-four,
Maybe less or maybe more.
And he grew a beard to save his buying a tie.
But one night the silly goop,
Let his beard dip in the soup,
So we had to hang his whiskers out to dry.

He was gentle as a child,
That's except when he was wild,
And he was always wild 'tween you and I.
And as he'd got a sloping jib,
He used to dribble down his bib,
So we had to hang his whiskers out to dry.

His beard was flaming red,
He was born with it he said.
When his mother used to shave him he would cry.
So they let it grow apace,
And when they washed his face,
They used to hang his whiskers out to dry.

Once he spoke about his ma,
Who lived out in Zanzibar,
And the poor old fool just started out to cry.
And he cried about his mummy,
Till the tears ran down his waistcoat,
So we had to hang his whiskers out to dry.

Then one day he caught a chill, He was very, very ill,
And he died and went to glory in the sky,
Now after show'rs blown to and fro,
Hanging on a bright rainbow,
I can see his whiskers hanging out to dry.

It seems like Dave D is being phased out at LAST!

That is remarkably evil timing, Dave. I thought for sure you'd been gotten rid of! But, alas, I'm sure this won't be the LAST you surprise us...

Dang. Slarti/Smark *snicker*/Marvin's here. And I'm distracted by it being my brithday and because they are putting up decorations around me to celebrate.

Ok, they are really Christmas decorations, but I'll take any adoration I can get. You have to make it LAST when you get to be my age

LR a pathetic 1:49

wysisyg - Again, Happy
Birthday! You have to
post in short sentences
here because I have a
bad cold - achoo! - and
sideways scrolling makes
me dizzy - thank you.
This is the LAST thing I'm going
to say about my cold, as I've
been complaining since 8am
CA time, which is about 9 hours-
Dave D is trying something new -
poor baby!

Happy Birthday AGAIN, Eleanor? This is the FIRST I've heard of wysiwyg's Celebration of Birth.
Also, if you have a screen resolution of 1024x768, then wysiwygs post would fit on the
screen in it's entirety, no scrolling needed!
I suppose I'm the FIRST to explain that, for our purposes, ASCII is basically binary (0 and 1).
That's the FIRST and LAST time I'll be explaining that.

LR= -1:33

Marvin: Shhh! Don't tell anyone!

Most of the action is over in the current MOAT - called the MOATy Python, which is attached to the bottom of the October 14 post titled "THE BEST THING ABOUT MAKING A MOVIE" with the first of the photos of Dave and John Cleese.

And then scroll WAY down to the bottom. If you e-mail me, I'll also send you the link to the Y-MOAT. Which is definitely for select MOATies only.

And trust you to get a WORSE LR in your next post.

*Plots revenge*

Except for the FIRST sentence,
I didn't understand a word you
said(or wrote) - I am a
computer moron -
I am taking my cold -achoo!-
and at LAST I'm going to
bed. Goodnight.

Rats, forgot use returns AND to include a LAST:
but that DOES give me an infinite LR.

New rule:

Rule 56) Posts without an LAST are minus 1 LAST off your
best post. Makes me now 1:5.272 - equal FIR...sorry...
Equal the-opposite-of-LAST.

LR=1:13.333 Not trying really.

I wouldn't worry about it Eleanor. My whole effort
is directed towards makeing it difficult for Slarti/Smark *snicker*/Marvin
(who are all the same person), to keep up with the rules.
You will note, however, when I change a rule I magnamanously
apply it to myself so as not to discourage him.

Goodnight at LAST Eleanor.

That's the LAST rule of the 'LAST' game you
change! aLAS, This LAST competition can't LAST
much longer. 'LAST'ing gives us 'the balL', AS
They say, but not for long. And, for the LAST
time, SBFMII is dead, but I will LAST forever,
unlike wysiwyg's 'dulL AS The doorknob' 1:4.9
LAST ratio.

{52WORDS / ((8 LAST's)+(3 LAST double word scores))}

Cack! ROFL! Giggle! Snork! LOL! and other acronyms.

*Cleans up extensive mess created by that post*

I know when I'm beat!

Email me or let me know where I can send you the Y-MOAT link, or something - I have a merit badge just for you, titled "LAST Award".

*gladly accepts Eleanor's drink, even hours later*
*loves Eleanor a glass rimmed with salt,
but filled with Nyquil -
or dayquil, whichever is appropriate*

*Sips drink*

Eleanor, these folks are simply speaking computerese.
It is best to just ignore the foreign tongue and let them play!
Because, honey, they lost me eons ago.
I'm a computer moron, too;
the Silly Billy award came about because of me!
Oh, whoops, it wasn't because I'm a computer moron, just a moron in general! :)

And yes, Slartiwhatsis is no longer with us,
but by an amazing cooincidence, *wink*
Paranoid Marvin posts in the same manner,
and even has the same address as our
dearly departed Slarti/Smark.

(I still don't think Slarti/Smark had to die, by the way.
Everybody makes mistakes, sometimes.
Some of us mess up a dozen times an hour,
but you don't see me hiding, do you?
Ok, sometimes I hide, but you don't SEE me hiding!)

Dave D., where'd the poem come from?
That looks like song lyrics. Maybe?

Oh, by the way, LAST!

[LR= 1:a whole lot]




Hmmm, not only interesting, but kind of odd.

OOooo, yeah! 'LAST Award!' And not only that, but now I'm LAST! (I refrained from linking to my site this time so the e-mail could shine through)

Good morning neo _ why did Slart turn
into Marvin? Was he reincarnated
or re-morphed (I love morphing)-?
I still have a cold and I'm
not thinking clearly - not t hat
I ever do, but today it's even worse-
and then with all the problems on
the MB -
*goes to find some drugs*

Hi, Eleanor! Still not feeling better?
We'll get Mad Scientist to whip something up in her lab;
that should help.
(heh, heh, I said whip, and I'll bet it's made of licorice!)

As to why Smark is no longer Slart:
(dang I like playing with that name!)
I don't know if you noticed,
but Smark got quite upset with himself
when he accidentally stretched the margins.
He is clearly a techie,
so I guess he figures he should know better.
(Though as I've said a zillion times, I'm glad he did it;
now I don't have to feel like such a freak
when I make a mistake; misery loves company, I guess!)
Or else it wasn't an accident at all,
and he did it just to torment us!
(Teasing, I'm just teasing!!)

Slartismark went so far as to ask the blog gods to strike him dead,
and I suppose that's what happened;
he got zapped with a thunderbolt or something.
(A lesson for us all:
be careful what you pray for, because it might happen!)

But Slastiflastblast appears to have been reincarnated
as our friend Smarvin, oh, I mean Marvin,
so at least he is not lost to us.

(Hi, Marvin!)

(Oh, and Hi, Dave D!
We've kind of taken over your space haven't we?
Thanks for letting us crash here!)

(Hey, I use a lot of parentheses, don't I?)

A Smarkin' "Hi!" right back at ya.

Hey neo- (BTW, I love parentheses,
and use too many by other people's
standards, but I feel just fine
about it) - the only problem is
you have to have non-parenthetical
(wow!) items in between in order
for them to have meaning - (I feel
they're a great tool in smart writing) -

Hey Dave D- I was hoping that at LAST you
would take the day off!

Eleanor (not Elenor) and (not ant) neophyte (not
neofit), you (not u) do (not dew), in (not yin)
fact (not f***ed), use (not ewes) a (not @) lot
(not late) of (not love) parenthesis (not
parenthetical). If (not eff) you (not yew) would
(not wood) so (not sew) kindly (not kindling)
cease (not decease) and (not &) desist (not
deceased), it (not hit) would (not hood) be (not
bee) most (not MOATs) appreciated (not apprenticed).

Thanks (not tanks) a (not awe) lot (not booger),
Marvin (not S[lartibartfast]. Mark II)

and (not ant or hand) LAST (not lats or least)

Marvin - see my post on the MOAT.

LOL, Marvin! Point taken.
However, (and there is always a however)
I seem to be rather attached to my parentheses.
(I understand that can be corrected surgically now;
I'll have to look in to that.)

Eleanor, I like this incarnation of SlartiSmark II.
He's funny and he throws me off-balance.
(Though sometimes that can hurt.)
Can I keep him, please please please pu-leeeeease?
*puss-in-boots eyes*
Pretty please with a cherry on top?
I promise I'll take care of him.
(And by "take care of him," I mean... erm... *blush.*)
(Ok, what I REALLY mean is that I won't leave him at the bus stop
with my lunchbox and mittens.)
(oh, look, parentheses after parentheses,
with nothing non-parenthetical in-between! Cool!)

And Dave D. can't just take the day off!
This "lasting" thing is an important job.
Without it, who knows?!
The economy might collapse,
civilizations might fall,
and the world might wobble on her axis.

(Hey, I said, "might." Anything is possible!)

Don't know why I'm in such a silly mood today. Guess it's because I'm unbalanced.

(No, no, no, not NATURALLY unbalanced, just thrown off balance.)

p.s. Last!

neo - you go girl - yes, you can keep Marvin and Dave D - locked away in your bedroom, of course, and do with them what you will - *nudge,nudge*, and you can even let them out to post, as long as they're (not their)(not there either) supervised (that is to say, in your presence)

(p.s. - we're having a lot of fun on this thread, but there's some bad stuff going on other places in the blog)
Parenthetically, that's all for now -

Oh, I'm sorry,
I forgot the short sentence
rule -
my bad!

[Title] "A Composition, Not In Verse, Of Which The Language Is Highly Imaginative Or Impassioned"
My fleshy substances do flail,
As I laugh;
Yes, Laugh!
At your comments - so full -
of witticism and innuendo
(Not there; nor they're)
underlying metaphors
transcend the dichotomies
whatever the hell they're about.
But then, with this LAST post
by dear, sweet, kind,
yet for some reason


Elanor Lady Person Human Individual
who calls me-ith, off all those
to call something!
Woe is me!
Now for the LAST line:
I'm not getting you down at all, am I?

Marvin - I might read what you
write if you could be bothered
to spell my name correctly -
and you can take that to be a bLAST!

Oh, pithy! I know plenty of Eleanor's (not
really), and you are the only one who I can
clearly, calmly (majestically even) say is one of
the last true Human Individual Person (HIP),
whether your name is spelled right or not.
P.S. It's revenge for:
'are you saying that Paranoid is really Slartwhatever?'
Posted by: Eleanor on December 2, 2004 08:00 PM

...on this thread. At least [italics]I[/italics] knew your full name :P

Oh, sweet revenge!
How filling thou wert to mine eyes,
and now, after consumption,
I find it is me who is consumed
and so empty!

« 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 50 51 »

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise