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June 22, 2004




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Ok, that was a bit early by the Blog clock, but its past midnight here, so the LAST post counts!



Happy New Year, Lasty McLastersons!

Ok, so Leetie beat me to being LAST in 2008, but it looks like I can grab the chance to be FIRST in 2009! May it be a great one for you all.


*sigh* I read Leetie's post as Lusty McLustersons.
Apparently this place gives me a certain mindset...

Happy New Year to those who've LASTED thus far!

(After all this time, does anybody else automatically write LAST in all caps, no matter where you're writing it?)


I missed wishing Leetie a HAPPY BIRTHDAY for LAST week. Hope it was a good one! And I believe Bis is about to celebrate his as well. Hope its going to be a good one!

And Neo, I know exactly what you mean, but I generally type what I'm going to say and then go back and capitalise all the LASTs, which is why I occasionally miss some....

from the slightly moist pages of history comes the story of 'The Lusty McLustersons'...
"They lived, they loved, they obtained various medical conditions, but all who came into physical contact with them were touched by them:
"The family matriarch, Victoria Delilah (V.D.)McLusterson, whose claim was jumped from Sutter's Mill to the Klondike.
Her son Custer McLusterson, named for his father's
next-to-the-last stand , whose 'little big horn' was on posters in postoffices under 'have you seen this manhood?'
Finally Paris McLusterson, who made old Doc Ehrlich's research much easier, and who by herself, as an old woman, incapacitated the German General Staff during World War I"

Get your copy while supplies LAST!

*SNORK* Insomniac, for the record, I love you. Just sayin'.


You've left out mention of Victoria's brother, Leonard "Lizzy" McLusterson, famous cross-dresser and celebrity impersonator, and his double act with his cousin, Lucy "Leg Horn" McLusterson, portraying various nocturnal antics of the Royal Family. Between them they so captivated and outraged the British public that it drove the creation of the entire tabloid journalism industry, and the paparazzi profession as we know it today.

AAUUGGHHHH I don't like this! JUUUUUUDDDDIIIIII! For the love of all that is silly and funny and gursty and all that the Dave Barry Blog (and the LAST thread) stand for, PLEASE make it go back to the way it was?

Its undoubtedly a result of their internet charges going through the roof, and the load on their servers, as a result of the LAST thread users requiring several terrabytes of data to be served each time....

Just bookmark this link to get to the LAST page each time:


GRRR. That LAST post didn't wrap properly. Here it is in two bits:


Hah, thought you'd shake me by going to ground? NOt likely. As always, LAST, King of the LASTERS, all that rot. Also, happy birthdays, merry Christmas, happy new year, bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich day and talk like a pirate day...

Jeez Dave, you HAVE been gone a long time! But good to see you found the end of the LAST thread - wouldn't want you to drop out now....

Happy Bacon Lettuce and Tomato Soup Sammich Day!

Hoooray! At LAST the day gets the recognition it deserves!

... a LASTing sheesh!

but the BLT sounds really good.

and a LASTing !THANK YOU! to Leetie and ¿wysiwyg? for discovering a sane way to cope with this latest `development'.

last? (the previous comment listed is from 2005?)

Insom, it is all still messed up, but it comes and goes. Hopefully the problems will not LAST.

Happy Valentines Day.


what?? My valentines wishes are not showing up?



obviously dey iz still tinkerin' mit da LAST thread. (poot da candle beck?)

belated Happy Valentines Day, {{{Neo}}}

I wonder how many more posts to go before we hit the big 50 pages? Could this be the LAST post for page 49?

No wysi. It wasn't. (say that 6 times very fast! It's fun!)



Can't remember the LAST time this happened - now the b@stards are using kangaroos...

you are slipping, wys. Analysis of previous pages clearly show a predilection for 100 posts per page. This comment brings this page a mere quarter of the way there.

However, You are redeemed for bringing us a story with three important life lessons:
1) headlocks are effective against kangaroos
2) There is always a 'roo' in 'room'
3) you are not last

Hmmm. Replicating that research reveals, disconcertingly, that you are correct Marv. I've also been slipping in the frequency of my posts.

However, a further analysis of the ratios of my posts to total posts on this page (my Post Ratio, or PR), remains a fairly respectable 0.36 to your PR of a mere 0.04. Time to pick up your game.

Further insights to the story include:

1) Could this bring a whole new meaning to the expression "Death by Roo Roo"?

2) You aren't LAST either...


and neither are you, wys!


SG: Yes, I *am* LAST. So there!

am *not*


also, Marvin and sg now have outstanding fines for lack`o' honorary letters breach of conduct. ~ just sayin'.

Am so too LAST js! So there, I dare you!

Seeing as Dave hasn't been here for a while, I'll act as sherrif and collect the fines. A photograph of a 10 pound note emailed to me by the end of the week will suffice to prevent accrual of interest on the fines.

*realises that shows my age*

BUT, in the first time in quite some time, I managed to get a mention on the main blog


*suddelenly realises he is too old to have any idea what "woot" means*

Who hasn't been around here for a while? Ha, LAST.

Dang it Dave! Just as I was once again lulled into a false sense of security, WHAMMO! You reappear at LAST.

I get to keep the fines tho...

Take the LAST Train to Clarksville...

But life is just a party, and parties weren’t meant to LAST...

♪Last dance.. *cool `80s boogie moves*
♪Last dance.. *jazz hands*

The LAST thing I remember....


you're the LAST person i'd have thought would do something so foolish!

and cyn, promise that this'll be the LAST time you give us such horrible earworms?!?

(as i posted with all my initials this time, i will repossess both mine and marvin's fines, and if he has a problem with that, then NEENER NEENER NEENER, marvin!)

Hey SG! Its for precisely that reason that the travel insurance people are still in business...

...but that's not important just now...

Fellow LASTers, today is a day that we gather to...I was going to say honour, but that's a but strong...pay our respects to a unique individual.

A man without whose inspiration, guidance, perseverence...no, tenacity...we would otherwise have spent a considerable part of our lives more productively.

This man, a giant amongst LASTers, our King even, whose basball skills led to the the uttering of those fateful words that spawned a truely epic thread:

"LAST! Don't you just love thread killers;-)? Anyone who posts after this throws a baseball like a girl..."

Posted by: Dave Dilegge | June 22, 2004 at 11:41 AM

Yes friends, lets join hands and chant those ritual words as we have done since our first year on this earth:

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy BIRTHDAY dear Daaaavvvvvveeee,
Happy birthday to you!


P.S. If you are reading this on Friday instead of Saturday, get over it. Living in a different timezone isn't all cheese and biscuits you know.

It's cheese and CRACKERS Wysi honey, or GRAVY and biscuits.

Which sounds like a fine start to a birthday buffet!

May it not be the LAST time we gather to wish you such! *smooch*

Ack. *attepts to be a little less bold*

*sigh* Is it showing as messed up for everybody?

..it looks perfect from here, neo. and a fine, fittin' tribute from you and wys, for a truly diligent guy!

Happy Birthday, Dave D!

may you last for many more!

Happy birthday Dave D!

This is the LAST time I'm gonna try to sweep this up!


Hooray for Test! I dunno how you went back and fiddled with already posted comments, but all power to you! The excessive boldness is banished at LAST. You must be quite some fiddler!

Hmmm. I suspect a lurking Marvin here. LAST time I recall seeing a test post was when he was lining up to be the first to post one new year.

*giggle* It was me. I didn't want to be seen posting again after I said I wasn't gonna do it again. ;) But really, this is the LAST time!

A man without whose inspiration, guidance, perseverence...no, tenacity...we would otherwise have spent a considerable part of our lives more productively.

but...why would we want to have done that?

happy b'day, dave, in case i didn't mention that the LAST time i was here

SG - even sleeping might be counted as more productive over the LAST four years...

SG - even sleeping might be counted as more productive over the LAST four years...

Mr. Wysiwyg? Why do you wear the extra letter appended to the front of your name now? And why do you have an echo? And why do you think you could be LAST?

Neo, its weird, I know. It just sort of suddenly started happening. Probably an age thing, like hair starting to grow out of your ears. But I'm always LAST....

but not forever...

oh, and LAST :)

more last. *neener neener boo boo*

i feel somehow cheated. the page never looked any different here. y'all got to see it. how come i couldn't?
i can definitely see that extra A whatsit. it turns up in some blog headlines too. but why has it glommed onto wysiwyg? he was just sittin' there mindin' his own business.

well, at least i have rum as i ponder.

To us it looks like "¿wysiwyg?". But if you can't see the capital "A" wearing what looks like a teeny little hat, I can't help you. Or me.

And its a good thing you have the rum, 'cos you're not LAST!

yesyesyes, i see the lil hat. the lil hat that makes guest appearances on the main. the annoying lil a-hat.

and i'm informed that not seeing some of the stuff is cuz of browser choices. sol good.
but the really good, nay, excellent thing is that i do have the rum, and, i am last.

A reliable source has informed me that it is a special day for Insom...his birthday!


I'd let you go LAST as a birthday present, but, well, you know how it is on this thread...

shouldn't there be extra 'Z's floating around the LAST thread, not 'A's?

oh, my Loquacious And Sincere Thanks to wysiwyg!

Oh, for the love of Real Tomato Ketchup, are you people still here?? How long is this game gonna last??

(steps to lectern)
"It is said that the Anglo-Norman barons, the de Burghs, the FitzGeralds, the Butlers,...who invaded Ireland became 'more Irish than the Irish'. In a similar fashion , China was described as absorbing all its invaders.
"But the LAST thread is more insidious in its immediacy. For in true quantum mechanical fashion, to comment upon it instantly makes one part of it, as each of us is , if only for a heart-breakingly brief moment, LAST."
"Thank you."
(steps down from lectern, leaves)

Hey. I commented. I said I was breaking poor insom's heart. Because I'm last. Only I said it in a very funny, clever, poignant way.

KDF - the game LASTs until everyone but me has given up. Which could be a while.

*claps insom* Couldn't have said it better myself, whatever it was you said.

Neo - you're pregnant!?! Congratulations!!!

Wait...*dons reading specs*...sorry, I take that back, you're only poignant.

*smacks wysi with the sockfull o'nickels(trademark thingy)*

I'd rather be poignant than pregnant any day. That's about the LAST thing I'd need.

*smacks wysi again, just on general principles*

Hey! Careful of my general principles! Its not very poignant, and I only got them back from the shop just LAST week.

*reads insom's last comment*

*surrenders the rum*

insomniac, your last revelation
brought about a strange sensation
so i did some push ups
and some coke
to ease the pain of education

long have i been part of this Barry empire
though recently i've forgotten my attire
please find, attached
the monikers, mismatched
but still fulfill be what is require(d)

wow, KDF was here, and i missed it?

and cyn has rum!

somebody please pass the rum, if wys or neo hasn't finished the LAST of it :)

Rum? *hic* What rum? Oh, well, I guess there's enough to LAST us all a little bit: http://www.worldofstock.com/slides/BIN2915.jpg

By the way, Wysi's principles smell pungent. Just sayin.

And Marvin, darlin' that HAS to be you. I'm glad to see you back at LAST. How are you?

M/PA or whoever you are, please talk to me?

my hair is pink (and i have blue's wallet!) and i don't wanna change my hair color again

this will be the LAST time i ask ;p

I wonder if even wys remembers what DWWINAS means. Not that we'll ever know, now, since I'll be the LAST one to post here.

neo, i'm as miserable as ever. Which is to say, not miserable at all.

sg, last i heard (from you) your hair was non-pink. Since this will be the last post in this thread, do you mind if I just have the entire conversation now?

No? good.
Oh, you know, just research.

yeah, that too.

haha, no, i hadn't. So your hair is pink again? Last I heard from you it was non-pink. Times sure are crazy!

Oh, so that's why. I was wondering why you went back. Did you know abou-

Sorry, go ahead.

No, please.

Seriously, go first or else. You will? OK, thanks.

Haha, sucker! LAST

Don't worry Wysiwyg, I'm not a spammer!

I can't remember my own phone number or where I put my keys, but I can remember important things like that.

Smarvin, I'm very glad to hear you are non-miserable. What are you researching? Spam? It will be your lasting legacy, to leave the world a spam free place?

Neo! Great Smarvin spotting! It was so obvious once you pointed it out.

And Marv, yeah, I did remember, and it made me smile. Those were, in many ways, brighter and more interesting times. I snuffled around to find the original posts:



The spamming rat bastards are now passing themselves as bloglits by using terms like "OMG", and mis-spelling words.

I actually clicked on the link!


Worse than the feeling you get after having to turn off the tap in a public toilet after washing your hands.

Worse even than the feeling you're left with after grasping the handle of a public toilet door to get out.

I feel so violated.

Posted by: wysiwyg | November 16, 2004 at 10:03 PM


Now that I have regained my composure somewhat, you must all swear to me to never use the term "OMG" again without including in brackets immediately after the pass-phrase "DWWINAS", which stands for "Don't Worry Wysiwyg, I'm Not A Spammer".

And spammers: be afraid. Be VERY afraid. I have tasked the sub-conscious to work on a mutant spammer-seeking crapweasel virus that will discover where you live and post it on all the blogs you have invaded. Or perhaps a worse fate - the sub-conscious is going to get back to me on that.

Posted by: wysiwyg | November 16, 2004 at 10:18 PM


And of course I knew the "OMGWTFBBQ", but had to look up where the "Z" came from. Apparently I'm getting out of touch as well as old. ;oP

And my advanced CRS is preventing me from recalling the M|PA, and I couldn't find it. Care to provide any clues to that LAST acronym?

*gently removes Wysi's glasses, blows on them and wipes them clean*
*blows the dust off Wysi's memory for good measure*
*replaces Wysi's glasses with glasses of scotch*

*loves Smarvin a pair of noids and ro ID*

*smooches SG*

Cough!! Hack!!

*waves hands at sudden dust cloud*

You want to be careful doing that Neo, 9/10 of that brain either hasn't been used in 50 years, or has been doing something very mysterious and quiet. Scientists aren;'t sure.

Thanks for the scotch tho.

But you didn't answer my LAST question - What's M|PA mean?

Wysiwyg, on second thought, I think maybe you've had a few too many glasses of scotch. I DID answer your question; re-read my LAST line of my LAST comment. Say it out loud. Now go have a look at the way Marvin signed his name in his LAST post.

My brain hurts.

*sigh* Wysiwyg. M|PA = Marvin|Paranoid Android.



Now I *know* I'm getting old. Anyone got a walking frame they can lend me? Or perhaps a copy of the LAST rites?

well, well, well

M/PA has returned

unfortunately, neo didn't blow the dust off my glasses, and therefore i thought that said MIPA, and therefore didn't get it

dang it, that's the LAST time that will happen, marvie baybee


signed, SG who always keeps pink hair in a can, just in case, and who wishes she had his LAST known addy ;)

What's this "returned" nonsense? I'm always here, sort of like Dave except I'll be LAST. And I'm surprised more people didn't recognize my pipe*, since I've been brandishing it for quite some time.

I know there's been a fair bit of speculation, curiosity, and emotionality concerning this matter, so for posterity's sake I'd like to set the record straight right here:

Who: Marvin | Paranoid Android
What: Last Poster
Where: Dave Barry's Blog
When: see timestamp below
The last poster to post on the first! thread of the Dave Barry Blog was Marvin | Paranoid Android (Earth) in an event set in motion Dave D. Marvin would like to thank nobody for their non-help, and adds, "neener!"

*pipe = | != I != /

Marv, if memory serves me right, you are (or were) training to be a rock doctor. What's all this sudden interest UNIX shell commands?

For those that are not a UNIX users (which is much the same demographic as people that don't enjoy changing gears in a car themselves) the "PIPE" command feeds the output of one UNIX command into the input of another. The PIPE command is represented by the "|" symbol.

UNIX has this because UNIX users are like the MacGyvers of the computing world, always wiring together some jury rigged solution using random bits of technology in ways that nobody in the real world understands. They would be at home with the DOS command line, except that's too "Microsoft".

Now, given I abandoned trying to understand UNIX back in college 30-odd years ago, I think Marv's cryptic last line is a command that, if you fed it the string "Marvin | Paranoid Android" would return something like "Marvin is not Paranoid and is not an Android".

My comment is:

Marvin | !LAST | "Neener Back At You"

Or perhaps more fulsomely:

Marvin | !LAST | "Neener Back At You" & "Put that in your" | "and smoke it"


...and I think its about now, plus or minus the international dateline, that we all need to say:


Lets all sing!

Hippo Birdy, Two Ewes!
Hippo Birdy, Two Ewes!
Hippo Birdy, Dear Neooooooooooooo!
Hippo Birdy, Two Ewes!

Hip! Hooray!!
Hip! Hooray!!
Hip! Hooray!!


P.S. That wretched Hippo Birdy song has been cycling around in my brain for the LAST week now. Now its YOUR turn...

Awww, Wysi! You remembered! *loves everybody lemon cake with strawberry frosting* Don't mind the burnt taste; the candles got a little out of hand.

What, I missed your birthday, neo? I didn't even know you were birthing! Sounds like it went well.

On an unrelated note, last.

speaking of notes, i'm listening to music on a great new radio station!

Have at LAST href="http://www.facebook.com/otobas">given my soul over to FaceBook on the basis that my identity is so stuffed by now nobody would want it. If I haven't already tracked you down, come find me.

*sigh* It appears I've gotten too used to posting systems that don't require you to code HTML. That SHOULD have read as follows:

Have at LAST given my soul over to FaceBook on the basis that my identity is so stuffed by now nobody would want it. If I haven't already tracked you down, come find me.

ok, you guys know how weird it is when you hear something, a new word, phrase, or whatever, then it seems like you hear it a zillion times a day for the next so long?

after M/PA's LAST post, i googled, and found that LAST.FM image that i posted - never heard of it before then

tonite i was looking for something obscure, music-wise, in order to prove to my son that mommy is cool and knows things he doesn't

to make an already long story shorter, it took me to...wait for it...LAST.FM

so now, to change the subject, sorta, does anybody here know how to find an obscure song, by a band whose name has since changed, other than on google and/or amazon?



Kind of an odd, vague request. You want to...what? listen? buy? play along to the sheet music? For just listening, try Grooveshark.

Oh boy howdy, how I love being LAST. Doop de doo. Nobody LASTer here! Just LASTing it up, like always.


i'll attempt to make that my LAST odd, vague, request

i'm looking for the offspring, f/k/a manic subsidal's, song, album, whatever, called "hopeless", or any compilation album that includes said song

also, i thought that the LAST time you played around with italics and strikeout and such was supposed to be your LAST?



thank you!

i heard the song on grooveshark, and i think i even found an album name!


you can now delete this post, and my previous one, as i will allow you to be LAST, in my place

(that's cuz my son will now, tho he will never admit it, think HIS MOM IS THE COOLEST!)

But you ARE the coolest, SG.
However, neither you nor Marvin are last.

Nope. Definitely not LAST!

but least...perhaps.

*waves to, or at, leetie*

off to sleep now, perhaps to dream, of being le(a)st...


i'd rather be LAST

which i am


You were close, but I am LAST. Nothing posted after this will show up on this page. So much for the game. Everyone can go home now.

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