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June 22, 2004

FIRSTx!

First.

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Unga Bunga Bunga Inga Binga Binga BUNNNNN-GA!

Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga.

I'm the Scatman....repeat after me
It's a scoobie oobie doobie scoobie doobie melody
I'm the Scatman....repeat after me
It's a scoobie oobie doobie scoobie doobie melody

Ok
It's a scoobie oobie doobie scoobie doobie melody

He said doobie hehe

Can't let SexSpam have the last word, can we?

Can't let SexSpam have the last word, can we?
Neophyte - NO, I would fry them all if I could.... Though it is only a ripple, at least one spam e-mailer got nine years in prison. Hopefully, he will not get lonely. I hope there are many more felony criminal cases to follow....

The FIRST of the spammers
has been sent to the slammer
Let's hope he's not the last, the ass,
Let's hope he's not
The LAST

Yes, let's hope he is not the LAST!

Neverlast.

Least, but not Last.

Everlast and last but not least;-)

By the way, I meant myself and not you, Dave D., with my "least, but not last" comment. I would never call you least. I wouldn't call you last either. :)

Hey, it's going to be Dave D's 5-month "trying to be last" anniversary in another week!

This is BIG!!! We must plan.

Ah, how come I am always the LAST to know about these things Leetie?

Plan, Leetie? Or scheme? Either way, I like it.

4 days until the 5 month last contest, and I vow to be the first to say last on that day.

Muahahahaha.

And by 5 month, I meant 5 month anniversary.

And by first, I meant at 2:09 pm, when it becomes official.

And by neener, I mean neener.

EST?

EST or PST you still won't be last.

Seriously.

Middle

Since when are we all that serious? Other than random bits I mean...

I'll help too - book marked - Dave D will never be last!!!!!!!

ESP

I knew I was going to say that.

Lasting

LASTly, I would like to comment about my LAST post. I know it may not have a LASTing impression on you, and it may not be the FIRST time that the FIRST word in the post was also the LAST, you really need to look at the LAST bit, the 10:38 PM part. I don't mean to pLASTer it all over the walls in here, but not only was it the FIRST time someone posted at 10:38, as of now it is also the LAST time this has happened. Now wasn't that a bLAST?

To help prevent Dave's lastness: It is so good to have a goal at last. :)

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

He who laughs, lasts.

Dave D....you asked that important question at last...

I bet Dave D never shouts "FIRST"
and you know what I'm talkin' about!

Thanks to djtony for reminding me I haven't been here in ages. (looks around) Dave's not here?

ah, spam resurfaces at LAST. I can't let them have the LAST word, right?

me too -

long distance phone plan company services low cost cheap discount small business

English is a beautiful language spam troll.
Short distance left jab followed by right hook plan. High cost expensive medical bills, out of business.... I have a dream and it is not my LAST...;-)

Jeff - might as well bring this back for an encore: Dave's Not Here...

me three

I disagree.

But it's only you and me...keep smiling, keep smiling, etc...

Zed.

Sheila

Back of Bourke.

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
And that's the LAST time I'm typing that up.

What's another word for thesaurus?

So, what shall we do to celebrate???

I don't think

I think it would be fitting to make the LAST comment on #400, don't you? (don't answer, of course, it's rhetorical).

Ok, I won't answer

Dave D...you're up against an army of dozens here...do you really think you can succeed? I keep imagining a thousand years from now, when we're all imprinted on digital media before dying...and the "first" fight going on and on...

until the universe collapses...

And one lucky person will say "last!" at .0000002 seconds.

We're on a mission from God.

- - Elwood Blues

You were last for a few hours Dave, that's a pretty good accomplishment.

And last at .0000002 seconds.

eLASTic.

Dave D - we will never forget you -

Now, obviously this thread will never end. 'Winning' should be based on whoever holds 'LAST' longest. I don't care to do the math, but I am sure someone else would love to.

"Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute"

Dave D.,

I've read this thread's vast mass of lasts
You've passed the blasts while we've harassed
Though you've been surpassed
in your quest for last
And your lonely quest leaves you here, outcast,
You never resort to being crass
Your dedication demonstrates true class
Five months have passed; I lift my glass
To five months more; long live the Last!

pLASTic -

I don't want to be last, Dave D I just don't want you to be -

And there was great rejoicing *yay*

Ok, NEXT month, we're REALLY going to celebrate! If Dave lasts that long.

And there was great rejoicing *yay*

Ok, NEXT month, we're REALLY going to celebrate! If Dave lasts that long.

Way to go Leetie - double post! and simulpost with one's self - makes one think of other "things" to do with one's self -
*must stop self, children in room*

Disturbing, yet enlightening news for the other Dave.

The Hoosier Gazette reports that an Indiana University study reveals that “Dave” is the worst baby name.

I must be the exception to the rule here;-)

Happy Thanksgiving, Dave D -

*sends mixed message*

Eleaor I would say Dave has not chance of being last with you on duty. What kind of dog were you when you took the quiz? Methinks a guard dog of some sort.

Lets see that should be Eleanor and no chance. I am not suprised to see that in the same sentence.

I hope this Thanksgiving gives everyone LASTing memories.

Happy Thanksgiving to every LAST one of you!

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too, Dave D.

pLASTic

pLASTic ono band.

Yoko broke up the band.

The Bealtes would have LASTed many more years excepting her...

The Beatles would have LASTed many more years excepting her...

Dave D - I was just beginning to like you with your pLASTic ono band post - very clever - but now a double post -um - take 2 steps back -

I don't think that Yoko herself is to blame... John chose her. I think the breakup was inevitable. Lives change, things happen.

[This coming to you from the "linda" of her band...
Bass player's wife, can't sing, plays keyboard.]
*sigh*

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

But february made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more step.

I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about his widowed bride,
But something touched me deep inside
The day the music died.

So bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, this’ll be the day that I die.
This’ll be the day that I die.

Did you write the book of love,
And do you have faith in God above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in rock ’n roll,
Can music save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well, I know that you’re in love with him
`cause I saw you dancin’ in the gym.
You both kicked off your shoes.
Man, I dig those rhythm and blues.

I was a lonely teenage broncin’ buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died.

I started singin’,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, this’ll be the day that I die.
This’ll be the day that I die.

Now for ten years we’ve been on our own
And moss grows fat on a rollin’ stone,
But that’s not how it used to be.
When the jester sang for the king and queen,
In a coat he borrowed from james dean
And a voice that came from you and me,

Oh, and while the king was looking down,
The jester stole his thorny crown.
The courtroom was adjourned;
No verdict was returned.
And while lennon read a book of marx,
The quartet practiced in the park,
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day the music died.

We were singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, this’ll be the day that I die.
This’ll be the day that I die.

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

We started singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, this’ll be the day that I die.
This’ll be the day that I die.

Oh, and there we were all in one place,
A generation lost in space
With no time left to start again.
So come on: jack be nimble, jack be quick!
Jack flash sat on a candlestick
Cause fire is the devil’s only friend.

Oh, and as I watched him on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite,
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

He was singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
And singin’, this’ll be the day that I die.
This’ll be the day that I die.

I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the sacred store
Where I’d heard the music years before,
But the man there said the music wouldn’t play.

And in the streets: the children screamed,
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the music died.

And they were singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, this’ll be the day that I die.
This’ll be the day that I die.

They were singing,
Bye-bye, miss american pie.
Drove my chevy to the levee,
But the levee was dry.
Them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
Singin’, this’ll be the day that I die.

Oh - one of my all time most favorite songs - thank you!

a bLAST from the past -

Yes, the history of Rock & Roll and a song that will LAST forever....

pLASTic fantastic lobster telephone

'The Plastic Fantastic' = agnfarb?

The LAST time I was here was a while ago, and there appears to be a cLAST forming among youse guys. aLAS, This is not what I wanted to see. I just wanted to see the balL AS They kept it out of the hands of Dave.

Everyone's use of the English language seems to be quite elastic.

Does this mean I'm part of history at last for posting here!

Yes - and being part of history also makes you
schoLASTic!

"Cut 'er loose, Doc!"
-- Frederic Remington
Frederic Remington was the premier artist of the American West. In 1909, he developed an acute case of appendicitis. He spoke his last words to the surgeon just before his emergency appendectomy and died of peritonitis and other complications following the operation.

Reading this thread is almost scholastic.

Thanks Dave, that was informative. In keeping with your morbid tone, here's s'more scho,LASTic "fun" for y'all:

Clip the red wire first.

And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you're about to see another first - an attempted suicide.

They tried to get me - I got them first!

This is the last of earth! I am content.

I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.

Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
*hint! hint!*

I meant to have that whole (not hole) part after my FIRST LAST bolded. Honest.

Macbeth's last words:

Yet I will try the last: before my body
I throw my warlike shield: layon, Macduff;
And damn'd be him that first cries "Hold, enough!"

Here are some real LAST words...

Are you sure the power is off?

I'll get a world record for this.

What does this button do?

Does this go any faster?

It's not loaded.

I don't need a helmet.

What time does your husband come home?

Hey, watch this!

I've seen this done on TV.

I wonder where the mother bear is.

Slarti: this fruitless competition HAS made a LASTing impression on me (one of your posts before your LAST one refers).

Of course going LAST, by posting the LAST thing before going to bed, is the LAST thought crossing my mind.

No, what I'm thinking now is that I have used the word LAST the MOST times so far in a single post without cheating by splitting "LAST" across multiple words. And in under 100 words, which should have a LASTing effect.

And that is my LAST word on the subject. Unless some LAST minute thought springs to mind later.

Good morning, WYSIWYG - it's good to see you are LASTing thru your (not you're) hot weather -

you know, wysiwyg, I'm sure this won't be the LAST time you indirectly insult my use of the word "LAST", but I'm sure you will be the LAST to realize that it takes a lot of skill to split "LAST" across words. Cheating was, in fact, the LAST thing on my mind while typing that up.

You used LAST ten times in 99 words, while I used LAST, counting the LAST "LAST," 10 times in 86 words, although I am sure this record will not LAST.

Last?

I'm suprised no one thought of it this way...
last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last last....


20 times in 29 words... surely a First ?

Just, that LAST post of yours defeats the purpose of the whole 'LAST' doo-dad. You have to actually make sense while using LAST the maximum number of times, which is especially thrilling when you squeeze one more LAST in than the LAST post's Maximum LAST ratio. Otherwise, you could just say "LAST" at FIRST and have a 1:1 LAST ratio. This is the LAST word on the matter, but LAST minute changes are ok (we're eLASTic) (12 LASTs in 83 words!)

Just - there's alway someone trying to up the ante - probably thinks he's schoLASTic! I liked your post -

S.MarkII - no fair making up rules as you go along -
Booger.

Eleanor - *thumbing through manual* Thanks! I laughed while typing it... and I can't find where it says the post must make sense... and who is to say mine DIDN'T... *hmpfh*

*looks up*

Is speech suspended again?????

Hey, who called this the Dave D LAST thread?

Was that you Leetie?

You should be the LAST to think I wanted this thread to end this way, as a mere step child to that other first to LAST thread.

But I will endure this LASTING inane pursuit until I can truely say I was the LAST of the LAST;-)

Hi jensharp, can you LAST here? Its only Rock and Roll but we like it;-)

The LAST time I checked, there wasn't a rule against making up rules at the LAST minute (and I read it from FIRST to LAST page). But in order to leave a positive, LASTing impression on youse guys, this LAST 'competition' will be discarded and instead I will merely rely on outLASTing certain people.

I will merely reply on getting pLASTered.

Somebody love me a beer...

Not to mention, nobody pointed out that my LAST competition post had only 81 words, not 83, and I feel that should be corrected at LAST.

Main Entry: last
Function: adverb
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English latost, superlative of læt late

1 : after all others : at the end
2 : most lately
3 : in conclusion

The end.

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