FIRSTx!

First.

Comments

[Dave Dilegge]

Last, ultimo, bout, последнее, letztes...

[jp]

It's easier to be first than it is to be last.

126

[lidz]

infiniti and your a doodiehead

[Lori]

Infinity to the infinity power, plus one!

If not last, then: penultimate...

[Dave Dilegge]

The inevitable end will come to us all, we will all fall victim to the looming claws of the grim reaper. But what will we leave behind us... how will we be remembered? Our last words are a keepsake, a memory of us and the lives we lived.
Aldous Huxley wrote in the preface to his book "Brave New World", that one should judge all things as if one saw them from one's deathbed.
Last.....

[Dave Dilegge]

"Did I play my role well? If so, then applause, because the comedy is finished!"
Last...

[Dave Dilegge]

"Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough."

[djtonyb]

133 and counting.

[Dave Dilegge]

"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset."

[Dave Dilegge]

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something…"

[Jeff Meyerson]

Not last yet, Dave./

[eadn]

De ledge! I leap from ;-)

Now it's just a matter of counting floors on the way down!

[rita]

We may say nothing, but we say it lots of times.

[D'Artagnan]

Dave Dilegge, I have news for you. This thread will end when, at some point in the future, the spammers get around to deleting every single comment on the thread and replacing them with the same 5 or 6 lame crap spam comments. If you don't believe me, take a look.

Until then, all indications are that the thread will live on.

[Dave Dilegge]

Good morning.

[Leetie]

Fuhgeddaboudit, buster!

[Blogchik]

D'art, that's horrifying. They deleted OUR ACTUAL WORDS? How did they do that? Can Dave do something about it? Has somebody told judi?

I mean, what if somebody wants to read their way through the archives? Some of our stuff was pretty good.

Oh, and

NOT LAST.

;)

[leigh7911]

This post exists merely to prove Blogchik right.

[Jeff Meyerson]

next but before last

[Leetie]

Penultimately speaking,

Boogers!

[Lee]

Not Last!

[Dave Dilegge]

More famous last words:
"The executioner is, I believe, very expert; and my neck is very slender"

[Dave Dilegge]

And here.

[Me Again]

Here too.

[MadScientist]

*Adds a few drops of a special mix of chemicals to all future posts*

There shall never be last words only a last letter

A

[Dave D Again]

Zed.

[Graz]

Zed's dead cause Ted crushed his head with a burritto made of lead. The color was mostly red. He then lay under then bed.

[Dave Dilegge]

Zed is the Commonwealth pronunciation of our Z - but what do I know? - After all, I am an Alpha attempting to be the Omega...
OMEGA...

[Deontologist]

[peers in. . . sees Punky's got things under control. . . leaves]

[Dave D....]

Find out more about Neep and increasing energy efficiency in homes, buildings and industry throughout the Northeast region of the United States.

[leigh7911]

Tralalala.

[Dave D.]

Good choice of a web site - Tralalala - home of the Finikiwiki - Quite possibly the world's smallest wiki???

[leigh7911]

I thought so myself, thanks for the affirmation.

[Dave D.]

You keep saying you've got something for me.
something you call love, but confess.
You've been messin' where you shouldn't have been a messin'
and now someone else is gettin' all your best.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin'
and you keep losin' when you oughta not bet.
You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'.
Now what's right is right, but you ain't been right yet.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You keep playin' where you shouldn't be playin
and you keep thinkin' that you´ll never get burnt.
Ha!
I just found me a brand new box of matches yeah
and what he know you ain't HAD time to learn.

These boots are made for walking, and that's just what they'll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

Are you ready boots? Start walkin'!

[M. T. Head]

xanax xanax xanax
tons o' snot
xanax xanax xanax
racecar

[Dave D.]

Hey lady, you, lady, cursin' at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you never do
But I wish someone had a talk to me like I wanna talk to you
Ooh I've been to Georgia and California, oh, anywhere I could run
Took the hand of a preacherman and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Please lady, please, lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived a million lies
Oh I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
Where I sipped champagne on a yacht
I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things
That a woman ain't s'posed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

(this part is spoken...) Hey, you know what paradise is? It's a lie.
A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be.
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, and it's that man you fought with this morning,
the same one you're going to make love with tonight. That's truth, that's love.

Sometimes I've been to cryin' for unborn children
That might have made me complete
But I, I took the sweet life and never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that cost too much to be free
Hey lady, I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to Nice and the isle of Greece
While I sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise - never been to me
(I've been to cryin' for unborn children...)
(fade)

[Jeff Meyerson]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Enough bad lyrics.

That is all.

[Dave D.]

Jeff Meyerson - But bad lyrics are so easy to find - there simply is an over abundance of the same on countless Internet sites. Any suggestions for "good" lyrics?

[Jeff Meyerson]

True. Good lyrics? It's too early to think.

Oh, and FIRST today.

[Dave D.]

Will this work for a start (especially if Ray Charles is singing it):

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!

America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassion'd stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness.

America! America!
God mend thine ev'ry flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law.

O beautiful for heroes prov'd
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved,
And mercy more than life.

America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness,
And ev'ry gain divine.

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears.

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea.

[Dave D.]

One more,

Louis Armstrong

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Oh yeah

[leigh7911]

My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R

My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R

(something something something)

'cause Oscar Mayer has a way, with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

[Jeff Meyerson]

leigh:

you mean:

I love to eat it every day
and if you ask me why I'll say

[Dave D.]

"Hungryyyyy, Hungry Jack. They gobble 'em up and the plate come back for Hungry Jack."

[Leetie]

Ooey gooey rich and chewey inside
Golden flaky tender caky outside
Wrap the inside in the outside
Is it good? You're darn tootin'
The big fig newton
(Here's the tricky part)
The big fig newton
(One more time!)
The big fig newton!

[Dave D.]

"Meet the Swinger, Polaroid Swinger. It's more than a camera, it's almost alive, it's only 19 dollars and 95."

[Leetie]

Meow Meow Meow Meow
Meow Meow Meow Meow
Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow!

[Dave D.]

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing"
"Where's the beef?"
"My wife, I think I'll keep her"
"I've Fallen and I can't Get up!"
"Are those Bugle Boy Jeans that you're wearing?"
"Look Ma, no cavities!"

[leigh7911]

Can you hear me now?

(P.S. Thanks Jeff!)

[Jeff Meyerson]

The one I always hated the most -- not least because it made women look like idiots who had nothing better to do with their lives -- was

"Please don't squeeze the Charmin."

Here's an oldie from when I was a kid:

"You'll wonder where the yellow went
When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent."

[Dave D.]

"Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Sometimes you don't.
Almond Joy got nuts, Mounds don't.
Almond Joy got real milk chocolate coconut
and munchy nuts, too.
Mounds got deep dark chocolate and chewy
coconut EUUUH.
Sometimes you feel like nut.
Sometimes you don't.
Peter Paul Almond Joy got nuts.
Peter Paul Mounds don't.
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Sometimes you don't."

[Dave D.]

Remember these?
Oh, we're the men of Texaco.
We work from Maine to Mexico.
There's nothing like this Texaco of ours;
Our show tonight is powerful,
We'll wow you with an hourful
of howls from a showerful of stars;
We're the merry Texaco-men!
Tonight we may be showmen;
Tomorrow we'll be servicing your cars!"
---
"You can trust your car to the man who wears the star"

[Leetie]

Lee-hee-hee-hee-vi's
Haw haw
Lee-hee-hee-hee-hee-vis
Haw haw
Lee-hee-hee-hee-hee-vis.
Lee-hee-hee-hee-hee-
Lee-hee-hee-hee-hee-
Luh-hee-hee-hee-hee-
Lee-hee-hee-hee-hee-vis!

[Dave D.]

"Brylcreem, a little dab'll do ya,
Brylcreem, you'll look so debonair!,
Brylcreem, the gals'll all pursue ya!,
They'll love to run their fingers through your hair"

[Leetie]

Schaefer is the
One beer to have
When you're having more than one.

(What an awesome slogan)

[Dave D.]

"Hey Mabel, Black Label!"

[Jeff Meyerson]

"My beer is Rheingold the dry beer,
Think of Rheingold whenever you buy beer,
It's not bitter, not sweet
Extra dry flavored treat
Won't you try
Extra dry
Rheingold beer."

[Dave D.]

Since the topic is on beer:

"How's a beer sound, Norm?"
"I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."

"What's shaking, Norm?"
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."

"What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
"Going Down?"

"What's new, Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're demanding beer."

"What'll it be, Normie?"
"Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer & a snorkel."

"What would you say to a beer, Normie?"
"Daddy wuvs you."

"What'd you like, Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."

"What'd you say, Norm?"
"Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer."

"What would you say to a beer, Norm?"
"Hiya, sailor. New in town?"

"Whaddya say, Norm?"
"Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink."

"Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
"Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"

"Would you like a beer Mr. Peterson?"
"No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass."

"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobsey Twins go to the brewery.Let's cut to the happy ending."

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor." "I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."

"What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?"
"Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer."

"What's the story, Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."

[D'Artagnan]

Just say NO to being last.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Ditto

[Lee]

There's no end in site...except on some of judi's links.

[Dave D.]

Good morning.

[Jeff Meyerson]

And to you, Dave.

[leigh7911]

Heh, my husband is still waiting for a chance to use this horrible pun he came up with:

Him: Dear, what comes from sheep?

Me: Mutton, honey.

I know, I know *ducks*

[Jeff Meyerson]

leigh: smack your husband one for me.

[leigh7911]

yeah, he gets thwacked on a pretty regular basis. never hard though, and always deserved =)

[Bangi_G]

hehehehehehehe

[Dave D.]

Aye, yii, yii, yiiii,
I am the Frito Bandito.
I like Frito's Corn Chips,
I love them I do.
I want Frito's Corn Chips,
I'll get them from you.
Aye, yii, yii, yiiii,
Oh, I am the Frito Bandito.
Give me Frito Corn chips
And I'll be your friend.
The Frito Bandito
You must not offend.

---

Evening Jeff...

[Dave D.]

1939 - "Royal Crown is Tops in Taste"
1941 - "Best by taste test"
1956 - "Better Taste Calls for RC!"
1959 - "RC - the fresher refresher"
1962 - "Royal Crown is made fresher to taste fresher"
1963 - "Go fresher with RC: "Overnight - Americas Number One"
1964 - "Go fresher - Go RC!"
1965 - "Who's drinking all that Diet Rite - America's No. 1 Low Calorie Soda - Everybody!
1967 - "Escape - Come on over to RC Cola the one with the mad, mad taste"
1967 - "Diet Rite tastes so good... even non-dieters drink it"
1970 - "We cool off hot towns"
1972 - "The one you loved is back"
1974 - "RC - its just right for you"
1975 - "Me and my RC"
1975 - "No, No, Yes, Yes "
1977 - "Say yes to Diet Rite Cola: One big delicious Yes!"
1980 - "Here's to fun"
1981 - "Taste the one that won"
1984 - "Cola lovin' woman, Cola lovin' man"
1984 - "Everybody's Gotta Diet Rite"
1985 - "Some people go out of their way for the taste of RC"
1988 - "Decide for yourself"
1989 - "New look, same great taste"
1990 - "Take the RC Challenge"
1994 - "Shake things up"
1998 - "Be Free, Drink RC"

[leigh7911]

Is it a good idea to let a twelve-month old baby drive on the freeway while playing the ukulele? Well, the answer is "no, it isn't," and I'm getting out of here.

-Kermit

[Dave D.]

"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down."

[Jeff Meyerson]

"Can you hear me now?"

(That was speaking of a guy who needs smacking.)

[Graz]

S#!t happens when you party naked~Bad Santa

[Jeff Meyerson]

Graz, I LOVED Bad Santa!

[leigh7911]

We saw Bad Santa on our honeymoon. It was rather disturbing. Funny, yes, but disturbing.

[Jeff Meyerson]

leigh, I agree, it's not your normal honeymoon movie.

[Dave D.]

It's been a pleasure - nice blog and looks like some great people post here;-) With that I have to bow out for a while - and leave you with:
"Nothing beats a great pair of L'eggs."

[Jeff Meyerson]

Nytol.

[D'Artagnan]

I got legs! - Eddie Murphy

[Alex]

222nd!

[Jeff Meyerson]

3:01 AM? Insomnia, Alex?

[Graz]

Insomnia is a great way to get things done.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Last for tonight.

[djtonyb]

First this morning!

[Peri]

Hello? Is anybody in here?
*echo echo echo*
Who left the lights on?

[D'Artagnan]

Not last, that's for sure.

[Jeff Meyerson]

No way, no how.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Quiet here; too quiet.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO?

[Peri]

Hello, Jeff. Do you want to start cleaning up in here? Looks like there was one heck of fight.

*kicks away a piece of broken furniture*

Or maybe we should just leave it for the forensics team. We should check that 'Mr Last' is hiding in the rafters. He struck me as the stubborn type.

[Peri]

ISN'T hiding, I meant. Darn it.

[Graz]

*walks in- sets off alarm- runs back out*

[Jeff Meyerson]

Good point, Peri. He's probably lurking until he's sure we're really gone. Come on out, Dave D., we know you're in there.

Graz, did your teacher tell your mother you were a troublemaker? I bet she did.

[Dave D.]

Link

[Dave D.]

That link is special for you Jeff - wait a few secs and have the volume turned up...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Thanks Dave. Too funny. I know those guys are dumb but they still crack me up.

"Dave?"

"Yeah, man, it's Dave. Open up."

"Dave?"

"Yeah man."

(long pause) "Dave's not here."

[Dave D.]

I know those guys are dumb but they still crack me up.
Same here. I guess I am last for at least an hour or so;-) Have to come up with some new tactical manuevers...

[eadn]

Yeah, Dave D., what "tactical manuevers"?! I gotta guess you've bookmarked it, so have others. So, I've been just checking in and seeing that said "others" have carried the ball one last next time.

Is a puzzlement....

[Jeff Meyerson]

Dave's not here.

[Dave D.]

Dave's not here.

[Jeff Meyerson]

But is Dave here now?

Dave?