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June 25, 2004

CHER FAREWELL TOUR UPDATE

Rest assured that it will continue long after all human life has disappeared from the planet.

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First! First!! First!!! Oh, the joy. Oh, the humanity. I do the happy dance. I do the jiggy jig. I fall to the floor and I知 laughing. My life is complete. I am pathetic.

GOD! She trying for the World's Longest Tour? Over 200 concerts! FAREWELL already!

Gotta be a Guiness record here some where.

Let's hope she doesn't team up with BM and continue.

People with one name (like, for example, CHER)are as annoying as poison ivy. Other examples, include, but are not limited to, OPRAH,MADONNA,BONO, STING,and KOBE. See what I mean.

I forgot one: SHAQ.

The last Cher thread degenerated into talking about Maynard G. Krebs

No one ever mentions Maynard's friend and overlord Dobie Gillis

(YOU find something to say about Cher . . .)

Man, y'all LOVE her there in Florida. What gives?

I wonder how much more plastic surgery it will take to complete this tour from hell?

Well Dodge Arena - Hidalgo

djt - you have a valid point. Guess it's called the "Cher 'Nip and Tuck at Bulk Discount Prices Look What It's Done For Me' Farewell Tour" (so you don't forget, call before midnight tomorrow!).

There once was a Cher
Who couldn't bear
to say "I'm old!"
Or, "Hey, I'm growing mold!"
So she went on a tour,
Like an old fat mooer,
but decided to make it
So she could fake it
And make it last forever

A mooer is a cow, or what mam used to call it.

MOTW: "Dodge Arena"
Well, it's not a bad facility at all...esp. compared to what we've had to contend with up to now....So far--"Aerosmith, Minor League Hockey , ArenaII football, Ringling Bros., and now CHER...ahh culture..it's not Algona good, (no Cheeto, but we did have an image of Jesus on a tortilla on display at a person's home for a while) but it's something... we're just waiting for the RBR tour to head south!

Zelda!

Maybe Cher will take up skiing.

maybe she should re-title it, the "This time I really mean it..." tour. Go away already. and youre right, djtonyb - these venues are getting smaller and smaller. in fact, she'll be playing to an sro crowd in the ladies room at my office, next year. the acoustics should be great. It's a 3-holer, so order your tickets now. Bye Cher, it's been real!

Scott: you meant ESTHER, right?

I can't believe this -- I thought Hidalgo, Texas was a joke. She's really playing there? Will they pitch a tent in a field?

Chucke: "Now cut that out!"

Darn, she's not coming to California. I'm so heartbroken. (warning: heavy use of sarcasm)

The singer one syllable named Cher
Surgically primed, yet so unaware
That her fame has been waning
Yet she continues in feigning
A farewell tour 2 years old is entertaining.

So there!

But she still, remarkably, refuses to play in Algona, home of Iowa's swellest swimming pool....the big Cheeto may be too intimidating, even for her.

Scott, you forgot those other Monosyllabic Troublemakers, ADAM and EVE, who started the whole thing.

and yes, mtwbagnfarb

What about Algona, Washington, home of the poisoned cows?

Cher: real name Cherilyn Sarkasian LaPier. So
at least there's a basis.

Adam: I can't manage to say this in one syllable.

scott- you forgot 'BRITNEY.'

At least Cher's still in stadiums. Small town stadiums, but still stadiums. But I agree, after 2 years, it's time to throw in the towel, or she is going to get awfully Spinal Tap-style pathetic.

Listen, if Michael Jordan and the Who can keep retiring, Cher can keep touring.

And she could knock the stuffing out of BM!!

Isn't the Tyson Center in Sioux City, IA, a cattle feed lot? Is this what Cher has come to?

Key quote:

This is another fact that proves that North America will not let Cher take her final bow!

Umm, maybe it's because she can no longer bow?

I mean, with all the stretched skin she has, she may be to the point that she has to be wheeled out on a furniture dolly.

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