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May 28, 2004


Please do not send in items like this, because we are simply not going to use them.

(Thanks to Karen Satlin and Wyatt Dubois and Jeff Meyerson and Mark Howell and OK STOP SENDING THIS ITEM)


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you just can't make this stuff up folks.

Wait 'til the subservient chicken hears about this.

At least they slaughtered the shameless hussy

Zambian's...they do chicken right!

"Bend over, let me see you shake your tail feathers"

Punky, I KNEW you were going to go there as soon as I sent this one in. Didn't the poor hen suffer enough? On the other hand, without getting too graphic, could she have survived the trauma? She probably did get the short end of the stick anyway. Probably the guy's wife had enough of his inadequacies and told him the Zambian equivalent of "go screw a chicken."

Little Elvis: LOL.

What? No one has a "should've choked his chicken" joke? Too obvious maybe. This crowd is above it.

Finger licking....

Nope. Sorry. Can't do it.

Did the chicken spit or swallow?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Food folks & fun.

Misinterpretations of Americanisms gone sadly wrong:

Gives a whole new meaning to - Do the funky chicken.

Usually a chicken biggest worry is getting plucked not .... well you get the idea.

First you stuff the bird...........

Pollo Tropicale has generously offered to provide the victim with a dignified funeral and dispose of her remains in a delicate and tasteful manner.

It takes a tough man to be tender with a chicken.

Well, one way or another, this guy is out of the gene pool! If he hadn't killed himself, would there have been a trial? I cannot imagine the logistics of sex with a chicken. They don't exactly sit around placidly chewing their cud. Chickens are noisy, flapping, smelly animals. Perhaps he practiced a little bondage on the chicken first.

no more chicken nuggets for me, thank you.

is that why they call roosters cocks?

You just know that the chicken was faking it.

mmmm... sultry poultry!

I guess the guy went a bit too far while trying to find chicken breast for dinner.

Talk about a henpeckered husband...

is this even possible?!

chickens are not large animals...

gfunk, maybe he had a little pecker to prick the little pecker.

Give the guy a break.......his buddy told him she was a good cluck........


This guy obviously doesn't watch the History Channel. Sheep are the best for sexual encounters with humans because their anatomy is similar.

Mental note: Don't go to KFC while in Zambia...

Guess he got to have chicken his way.

Geez, his poor, poor wife: Imagine having to compete with a friggin' chicken, and losing!!

Can you, technically, call chicken breast chicken ramparts?

Tetsu: LOL. You too, Punky & Graz. In fact, this is the kind of sick item that brings out the best in the blog. I'm so proud, I'm almost embarrassed to tell you I had chicken for dinner. (Almost.)

These Instructions can be used for stuffing Chicken or Having Sex with it:

Spread chicken's legs apart, and stuff it all in.

Creepy. But that guy sounds like my kind of guy. Sex Maniac.

If this feller thought a chicken was better sex than his wife, what does his wife look like?

Probably like this

Or maybe like this.

*wipes away tears of laughter*

I cannot add anything to this, except that you are all twisted little bloglits. I am in good company.

as I type this, the tonight show with Jay leno is on. He made a joke about this story at the EXACT SAME MOMENT I READ THE HEADLINE!

that was creepy.


I saw that exact item and toyed with the idea of sending it in this morning.

"No, no," I scolded myself. "Dave is above that sort of thing."

Thanks to the twisted minions' many perverse little comments, I have never been so happy to be wrong. Thanks, y'all. :)

And Twisted Minions WBAGNFARB.

Cool. I never thought being a sick, twisted Dave Barry fan would get me compliments. My mind's never been more proud of being in the gutter before.

Blog with a Twist sounds like some sort of mixed-drink parody, like Vodka Pundit.

Twisted Sister is already a band. Darn.

hmmm...Chicken Rape would be a good Sublime parody.

Nope. Can't find names for a rock band. Better get some rest.

That chicken must've been a good-looking chick.

I only have one question:

Which came first?

golfwidow: Can't believe no one else thought of that one!

And what a great double entendre!


Pardon me, but does anyone have a mental-wipe handy?

Sorta gives a new twist to the phrase "Cruisin Chicks."

I suspect they had they had to slaughter the chicken whilst they could still identify it, rather than let it loose. No-one in the village wants to suspect he is having the chicken for the second time....

Do chickens really have the ability to spit? (not sexual) I really want to know, we have abet going on!!! PLEASE HELP!!

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