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May 27, 2004


This is what we call being loyal to your dog.

(Thanks to Mac)


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A samurai sword? He just happened to have one handy?

He wanted to do it himself with a PICKAX? But he's a sensitive guy, being emotionally dependent on his dog.

Ahh, Lovie..Tell Gilligan to stop stalking Ginger...Then have the Skipper bring us a Mai Tai...

How do they bust a guy for posessing a firearm when it is a PELLET GUN. I guess that banning pellet gun posession will really cut down on the number of murders they have over there.

I mean they banned real firearms and murders and gun crimes skyrocketed. I guess everyone is resorting to pellet guns to commit their murders now...

Geez. Some people are so stupid they could drown drinking a glass of water...

Forget the pellet gun...let's talk about this samurai sword..as in why was he allowed to have one?

John --

Give em time. They will follow the Aussie example and ban swords too. I guess they will think, like the Aussie government does, that banning swords will reduce their level robberies and murders.

It worked so well with guns that the rates of violent crime went up 300%. Clearly all of this violence is happening with samurai swords.

How can they hold a Rennaisance Festival then? You can't have a proper RenFest without a bunch of swords.

*sings "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On the End*

10 pts if you get that reference. ;)

MeL --

Only because the idiot english government hasn't gotten around to banning swords yet. But like I said before, give them time.

You can only be so stupid in one sitting. Most have to get dumber as time goes on...

Samurai swords (replicas, at least) are pretty easy to come by via mail order, cheesy
tourist traps in your local China town and those creepy shops in the mall that sell all the fantasy pewter figurines. Not that I own a samurai sword or fanatasy pewter figurines or frequesnt the tourist traps (or the mall for that matter). I do have a life.

Maybe he should have used his pickax for that home circumcision instead, or swallowed the sword when they closed in on him. I bet if that dog could talk he'd have some hair-raising (groan) abuse tales to tell.

I'm a firm believer in stupid people should be forced to fill out applications for most things. Including but not limited to reproducing, marrying, or buying weapons.

I agree and would add driving to your list. Unfortunately egalitarian ideals don't let us tattoo stupid people with STUPID in big red letters across their forheads so they couldn't vote or buy pointy objects or be elected to Congress....

"There are too many incidents of people taking firearms out with them, then they complain when the police shoot them," the judge said."

Nothing more time on the firing range won't cure...

Just because they don't give us permission to, doesn't mean we can't. O:)

If you shoot someone and they complain about it afterward, then it is obvious that you need to practice more. Dead men bring no lawsuits...


Blogchik --

Terry Pratchett! (Somewhere I have a CD called "Songs of the Discworld" that even has that song on it). I have a map of Ankh Morpork on my office wall.

Where do I collect my 10 pts.

And you people find this tragic story funny?


Not just funny, but hilarious!

As a side note, by definition, shouldn't a FIREarm require some sort of incendiary expulsion mechanism. Last time I checked, a pellet gun used air. Maybe they should call it possession of an AIRarm?

How "out of character" could this guy's actions have been if he had earlier said that he was going to kill his own dog with a pick ax?

But he was also carrying lighter fluid and a hammer...what was he planning on doing with those?

Pouring lighter fluid on the door and repeatedly striking it with a hammer, in the hope of creating a spark which would ignite the fluid?

Now that is premeditated stupidity. :)

Things to do today:

1. Watch Die Hard 1 & 2
2. Watch Free Willy
3. Pick up dog from shelter.

4. Rob Bank

Katanas are cool! I don't have one, but I do have a claymore.

There's a little shop in Orlando where these swords are about $20.
I did my christmas shopping there.

crash --
Getting a sword to help deal with the Christmas morning stress? :-) ... or do your friends and family just really like Samurai swords and stuff?

It convinces the others to clean up the wrapping paper and dishes. VERY effective.

And then we robbed a bank.

And saved a dog.

And killed this guy named Bill. shrugs

Sweet court system. Jail the guy who went nuts over his dog's illness and impending death. Surely the dying dog will be, well, dead by the time his owner gets released. If I were his vet, meanwhile, I would be moving fast and far away and covering my tracks most carefully.

$20 for a katana? Bah, it's obviously not a real one. Probably plastic or tin.

Surfbunny . . .

"lighter fluid and a hammer?"

. . . I'd guess some sort of ancient Viking or Druid funeral ritual for the dog with a pickax in its skull.

Incidentally, I think a pick ax would be a little cumbersome. I had a hamster that needed to be put down when I was a kid. My dad used a shovel to whack it on the head. Flater, larger surface area with which to make contact with the cranium. Didn't make a funeral pyre though, just regular Christian burial.

In retrospect, "Dead Burning Hamsters" wbagnfarb.

Rita . . .

Did he catch any?

LMC, you can redeem your points at your local Macy's or Saks for some lightly used underwear!

I've read all of Pratchett except Wee Free Things. And its sequel. Oh, and the latest Discworld novel that's in hardback. And that book he wrote with Gaiman.

OK, I've only read MOST of Pratchett. Give me some credit though. That's like 25 books here!

OKay, he did have an awfully odd assortment of item brought in with him. Maybe the lighter fluid was to give the air rifle some extra punch, but then it WOULD be a firearm.

Seems he might have done just as well with a cannonball, a can of crisco, a goldfish, and a tennis racket.
Oh, and a packet of gravel.

And not that i support this, but why anyone with a perfectly good samurai sword would consider ising a hatchet for anything is beyond me...

Lovie was actually Leonardo from "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." He was on a quest to find Splinter. Geez, I'm a nerd!

*Unfortunately egalitarian ideals don't let us tattoo stupid people with STUPID in big red letters across their forheads...*

We don't actually need to tattoo 'em. Talented idiots rise to the top like the green scum on the pond of life.

THIS talented idiot should have brought a potato gun with him. Then he could have told the police. "I was just making Lovie Jr. here a last meal. See, here's my potaotes, some PCV pipe to cook them in, some lighter fluid and a Katana to peel them with. Entirely innocent officer, that's what I am."

Man, I missed out on 10 points cause I am at work actually doing my job. I hate it when that happens. I have only read 11 Prachett books though. Just read the first one last year so I have a ways to go.

Pratchett is cool. I haven't been to the bookshop in a while; what's his latest offering?


P.S. I loved his explanation of "retrophrenology."

Mike W: "A Hatfull of Sky" is his latest (I think) -- it's the sequel to "Wee Free Men." He also has "Going Postal" coming out on October 1st.

Blogchik: If you haven't read the one Pratchett did with Gaiman ("Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch"), drop whatever you're doing unless it's very fragile and run out and get it right away! It is positive GENIUS! I'm a huge Gaiman fan as well as being a rabid Pratchett fan, and I LOVE this book! I have two copies -- one for me, and one to lend out (I used to have three, but one didn't come back). It even has a guest appearance of my favorite Grim Reaper. Gotta check it out!

"Seems he might have done just as well with a cannonball, a can of crisco, a goldfish, and a tennis racket.
Oh, and a packet of gravel."

lol, igwanna.


I am intrigued, especially since Amazon.com suggests parody similar to Carl Hiassen (a favorite of mine when not re-reading Mr. Barry's ammassed works). However, I also see a reference for grades 6 - 10. So, kids books? As good as Harry Potter or Lemony Snickette?

I need some light reading for vacation in three weeks (already have Founding Brothers, Wicked and The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter)

They give us a funny article, just to ruin the moment with the last sentence, "The dog has died." How about ending it with something like "this is the third samurai sword-related incident the town has experienced this month."

Boo Augustus -- Terry Pratchett is a GENIUS and should not be restricted for the 6 - 10 year olds. In fact, some of his wicked sense of humor, not to mention some of the references he makes, would be totally LOST on them.

For example, in "Soul Music," Rock-n-roll has suddenly become popular in Ankh-Morpork (they had nothing like it, being vaguely medieval, but often what's popular in "our" world will suddenly "infect" theirs and they don't know why ... I'm not explaining this well, but go with me on this). People, including dwarves and such, are forming rock bands. They're having trouble coming up with names and are all unimaginatively trying to be "The Dwarves" or whatever. Someone suggests something else and they reply "But, we're CERTAINLY dwarves." And that ends up being the band name (for those, like me, who don't listen to the right music to get the joke, think "they might be giants").

Anyway, I'm WELL over 10 years old and I'm a Pratchett fanatic ... whoever classified his stuff that way was crazy.

Oh, wait, though -- the Bromeliad trilogy (nothing to do with Ankh-Morpork) is aimed for the younger crowd, so maybe that's why.

I recommend starting with "Men at Arms" or "Wyrd Sisters." Even "Soul Music" is a good starting point. And there's always the first one that starts the Rincewind the Wizzard (sic) series, "The Colour of Magic." "Men at Arms" is my favorite, though. I love Corporal Carrot!

Sorry, Boo -- misread the 6-10 reference above. My remarks stand, although I'm betting High School age+ is about right.

I'm gonna have to read this guy. BTW, Boo, I'm a little worried about anyone who classifies The Heart is a Lonely Hunter as "light" reading? Light, as in "not a technical manual"? but most certainly an excellent book.

Aahz, no relation.

Hey LMC,

As a huge Gaiman fan, I also expect that you are a fan of the Sandman series? One of my favorite all-time graphc novel sets. Only thing I've ever read of his though.

Hi, Brian B!

Absolutely! I LOVE the Sandman series! I dream of dressing up as the Sandman version of Death at Hallowe'en (I've finally gotten my arms well-toned enough to pull it off). You might want to try "American Gods" and "Neverwhere" as well -- they're really good. Some of his stuff can be pretty dark -- I don't much care for "Mr. Punch," for instance -- but his novels are really choice.

I'll tell you, if I could have a party and get any authors to come to it at all (living or dead), Pratchett and Gaiman would top the list!

Well, second to Our Guy Dave, of course!

Just posted this in another thread ... hate it when that happens. *Ahem*:

And speaking of parties with authors, Hey, Dave and Judi, when you do the promotional tour for the GTG movie (or will you be stuck holding down the fort, Judi?), you oughta have a special bloglits party or at least a bloglits get-together at a bar ... I promise we'd all buy you drinks! Or at least, I would!

I'd even settle for a special "Insane Bloglits Pass" to whatever booksigning you were doing. You're not afraid of meeting us, are ya Dave?

I agree with X. This was pretty tragic. It really sucks to have animal control take your dog.

$20 cuz they speak engrish and theyre crazy. they arent for use either, they are wall displays.

KIRO, woo, local news!

Falling in love with Cheeseball, if she's a girl, this is actually a huge step toward mature relationships for me.

I think they did recently ban swords in Australia, or require them to be registered or something. Some kind of problem with tongs, triads, yakuza or something.

I live near Seattle, and they want to be New York sooo baaad it keeps them up at night. The politicians there can't stand that west coast people are real Americans who can drive cars. They've been trying to get a monorail going over there literally since that Elvis movie was filmed there.

Do I get any brownie points, Elle? :)

I like when Skeeve actually calls a Pervect a Pervect and it shouts back, "THAT'S PERVEC...hey, you got it right!"

Brian B: You MUST read Neverwhere, one of the all-time best. American Gods and the short stories are good too, but Neverwhere is superb.

X and Y,

I agree with you both. This is a sad story. I hope that when he gets the legal stuff staightened out, he can get another dog.


Uh...Dave...I don't know how to break this to you, but I am a dude. A big, strong, manly dude that can field strip an M-16, AK-47, UZI, MP5, and M1 Garand blindfolded.

And I don't switch hit, if you are having any of them ieas....

Elle and Mike Weasel- LOVE the Myth series, although it petered off at the end. It ends, not with a bang, but a whimper. Rather dissapointing. The first couple books are the best.

Just remember to never trust a Deveel. :)

Have only read one Gaiman, but I'll be sure to get Good Omens at my next bookstore visit. I have a nice fat Barnes and Noble gift card to use. :) Also aim to get the Wee Free Things and Hat Full of Sky, if they have them...

I read the Bromeliads trilogy. It's excellent. I love the nomes.

Blogchik: get NEVERWHERE. Trust me.

Woohoo! Where can I redeem them? Do I get a free dragon? Growf. (oops, wrong dragon)


Damn tent just scuttled by again...

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