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May 28, 2004


Some day, face transplants will be a reality, and the world will be a better place.

(Thanks to Steve)

Speaking of which: Was this movie stupid, or what?


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I have already signed up.

will I be required to update my driver's license photo once I look like brad pitt?

Just put on a happy face has a whole new meaning.

Dave, that movie aspired one day to be stupid.

I saw the movie when i was about 8 years old, and i still remember thinking that it was one of the best coolest movies eevveerrr. But looking back I also loved that remake of the Lost in Space movie, which is clear evidence that I was a very mixed up child. Im amazed I turned out halfway-alright.

Holy Crap! And all this going on right under my nose.*

*resident of Louisville

Travolta went on to star in "Battlefield Earth" which makes "Face Off" look like "Citizen Kane."


"The surgery will attach facial tissue and blood vessels from a cadaver to a new patient."

Talk about Faces of Death. I could handle a heart or kidney transplant if I was going to die without one. But I don't know if I could handle having someone elses face, imagine the first time you wake up in the middle of the night to take a piss and look in the mirror. Probably scare you to death. Not to mention your dog would probably attack you. And what happens if some old friends of the dead guy see you?

"Hey Bob, how's it going? You're looking good, looks like you've grown a few inchs, how does that work?"

this is gonna require an addendum to my organ donor card......

at least the Bogart Face movie featured Victor Buono..a man who never turned down a snack and wrote my favorite bit of prose...

"I think that I shall never see......my feet."

at least the Bogart Face movie featured Victor Buono..a man who never turned down a snack and wrote my favorite bit of prose...

"I think that I shall never see......my feet."


look at that!

some dude named russel (one l) posted a comment, and at the exact same time, another dude named russell (two l's) posted the exact same comment!

somebody call guiness!

what are the odds?

Yeah BMX... Imagine you are totally disfigured, and the first time you get up in the middle of the night to take a piss and vomit instead. Teenage girls do worse the first time they have a zit on their foreheads! Not to mention your dog would probably attack you. Hell, imagine you were Michael Jackson. This becomes a lot more appealing, no?

"this is gonna require an addendum to my organ donor card......" - russell

No kidding, is your face condsidered an organ?

*Heads to the DMV*

I just wanted to say while I sit here and hum to myself that it has been a whole week since the Hassel the Hoff post and I STILL cant get that song out of my head. Im starting to feel like that lady who bit the snake's head off. Some one please put me out of my misery.

"No kidding, is your face condsidered an organ?"
- BMX3

Well, your skin is an organ, so yes.

Andygirl, why must you spread your misery to us?

Wait... this means that Hassel the Hoff could be disguised as anyone! Me, or you, or even Dave!

He could be or next-door neighbor...

Or your best friend...



imagine the telethons.

Now my brain is singing OOGA CHAKA OOGA CHAKA. Andygirl, may you spend eternity with headphones playing Hassel-rap strapped to your ears.

Maybe its because I'm Hassel the Hoff in disguise! My plan for world domination has already begun!

I'm not serious. I do apologize to all. I guess as my punishment I will never meet tdave in this life or the next


I don't understand why you people hate Mr. Hasselhoff. I think his artistic genius is rivaled only by his erotic sensuality.


Truly a work of art.

A non-modified fan

Actually, I was good with the Hassel the Hoff references........until someone posted that OOGa crap...............

*pounding head on desk to stop the noise*

I may need that face transplant by the time I get this out of my head...........

Hi Dave. I'm sorry I haven't commented in months. I commented a lot at first and then stopped. It's chemically explainable and I think it was a good opportuntiy to let your blog breathe, like a fine or shitty wine. I am in no way trying to justify inconsistency, flip floping, or no show no call antics. I am trying however to remind you that to date you have sent me exactly: $0 and 0 cents.


Facial Accidents wbagnfarb

Dave: yes, very, very stupid.

"We have a team of about 16 or 17 people."

If the guy is that vague, do you want him replacing your face. "Hmm, yes, I think we're done here."
"Doctor, you forgot his nose."


What medical science is afraid to admit is that Michael Jackson was the first human to have this procedure. If his face doesn't look like a 10-week-old cadaver, I don't know what does.

Anyway, isn't this already a Fox series?

The Swan

I mean ten-week-old as in being dead ten weeks (although, his face does resemble a semi-formed fetus at that . ..)

Dave, since you're the only (arguably) famous person here (that we know of), you're in a once-in-a-lifetime position to get in on the ground floor of the Celebrity Face Transplant Futures Market. If I were you, I'd click over to eBay right now and put the posthumous transplant rights to my face up for auction.

Meaning of Life II

"We've come for your face"

"But I'm using it!"...

Meaning of Life II

"We've come for your face"

"But I'm using it!"...


monty python rules.

I liked face off..

New idea for a movie scene:

*set in a bar, two guys at the counter arguing*

#1: You're wrong! The Steelers can't go to the Super Bowl when they don't play 'till the fall!

#2: Take it easy, man. I'm making predictions...

#1: You're a pine-cone head!

#2: No, YOU're a pine-cone head!

#1: I'll rearrange your face!

#2: Riiiight.

#1: Right!

* #1 doses #2 with chloroform, takes him to E.R.*

receptionist: ...and what are you here for?

#1: He's here for a face transplant...

Are you going to put your face up for auction Dave?

At one time I thought my friend Sally Smalltree was getting a face transplant when she was at the hospital last week, but she just fixed her crossed eyes so she doesn't look like a cyclops anymore, which is good.

That is a swan crane! The tallest flying bird in the WORLD!

Imagine this: what if they clone the faces of movie stars, models, and rock stars. You could walk into a Saks Fifth Avenue or Macy's and pick out what you want.
Customer: "I need a Cameron Diaz in a size six, please."
Salesclerk: (to self) *Ha! Yeah, right, I'll bet she's a size ten, at least.* "Yes, ma'am."
Customer: "And stay away from the Bargain Face Bin, okay? I don't want some pre-worn face."

Good morning, Doug. You're up early, as usual.

It puts a whole 'nother slant on the remake of "THE SEVEN FACES OF DOCTOR LAO" doesn't it? RIP Tony Randall!


Re Jeff's "swan" comment:

Hey, they needed a fresh concept for Season 2, ala "Joe Millionaire: An International Affair." Looks like they've found it.

Or beter yet, a new series for The Learning Channel--"Trading Faces." Your neighbors go and pick out a face for you, and you do the same to --eh hem-- for them. Can you imagine the reveals?

Does it have to be on your head? Hmm . . .

What was that really super anagram I made of "Mahatma Kane Jeeves" a little while back? The less thinking I have to do for myself, the better off the world will be.

afurrica: good point. Or what if you already look like Jerry Lewis? What can you do but this.

Hah. Thought of it. (I really liked this one; that's why I'm repeating it.) "Mahatma Kane Jeeves" anagrams to "makes me ethane java."

Can you get this face?

Cool anagram. BTW I dusted off my old blog, there's a link to the anagram server on it

Um, does anyone else think it odd that the story happens in Louisville, Ky., and the article is from a newspaper in China? Did the local media report on this at all?

I don't think DB does that kind of thing. You're wasting your time, Chiraag.

I can face myself even if I do something embarrassing.

I just close my eyes when I shave.

That depends.....sometimes I keep them open to look into her eyes.......which also depends on the type of kiss........and where I hope the kiss leads...

Sure you can...like I said....it depends on the position and the situation......

Wow....you smell good.....

Boo! You two thought you were all alone in here, huh!

Graz! I'm gonna tell Punky! Of course, she'll probably want to join in...

Sure you can, Bangi! You just have to focus on one at a time. And my, yours are a lovely shade, indeed! Looking through eye's like that, the world must look like such a beautiful place! And the way they flutter!

Hmmmmm...was it something I said?

And, Lee, I kept all appendages firmly attached to my body at all times....

Wait....what am I explaining that for?

heh heh Graz, perhaps so that once again you can have the last word? (so far, so good on the SC thread ;-)

Well, Graz, it wasn't your body I was keeping an eye on! But, no explainations are necessary; we know you by now! ;-)

Hey eadn! Blurking again? Me too!

Come back Bangi! We were just getting to the good part... ;-) (Where did I put that horney emoticon?)

sorta changes the whole perspective of a face lift.

Yeah Lee, you get the lawyers and I get the land of the dead. This olde bod just ain't what it used to be.

Graz, guess all that runnin' you do keeps you from bein' LTTG for Bangi's up-time like Lee and me :-)

I just realized that my initials are DB too. And also that the word "coincidence" doesn't start with the letter Q.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful; hate me because I'm powerful and stupid.


My brother used to work for the Red Cross as a tissue harvester. He used to regale us with tales of various materials they were under regulations to use to rebuild a body when they take certain parts to make the person look normal for burial.

I REALLY do not want to have that conversation with him about this issue.

Hey. I warned you.

Unless something has come up, this is the last day of shooting for the G2G movie.

I'll forgive Dave for no links today.

I bet Dave drank a corn latte today.

Hey Chiraag,

I clicked over to your blog thinking there was a dog theme, and all I saw on the cam was your wife giving some action to your neighbor. You better check the cam archives.

-Another dog

I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus' garden with you.

Damn you Doug, now I have to go find a song even more horrendous to get that one out of my head....

marlodiane: how about "Muskrat Love"?

Chiraag, I don't link to *cough*commentspammers*cough*. That, and I can't figure out which one of my 5 blogs to use. It's just too complicated. Sorry.

I can, however, tell everyone and blog about your dirty secrets and make fun of them.

Got Face?

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