WHO SAYS TEENAGERS TODAY ARE SOFT?
Key Quote: "I think he is the biggest, baddest thing in the woods. He punched the bear."
(Thanks to Jason Easterday and Jeff Meyerson)
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Key Quote: "I think he is the biggest, baddest thing in the woods. He punched the bear."
(Thanks to Jason Easterday and Jeff Meyerson)
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Any word on the status of his pants? I think mine might have been ruined.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | April 27, 2004 at 06:15 AM
Poor bear....nobody wants to have to face an adolescent.
Is it me or is this the kind of thing that encourages complete morans to do stupid shiznit?
Posted by: sadie | April 27, 2004 at 06:17 AM
Let's not encourage him. He's an emotionally troubled youth. He should have sat down with the bear and discussed their disagreements until they had fostered a new understanding.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | April 27, 2004 at 06:18 AM
Air horns? Pepper spray? Flares?
What the heck kind of "nature" trip was this?
I guess maybe you need all these items when you take troubled teens into the woods.
Posted by: Garret | April 27, 2004 at 06:19 AM
Are people in Alaska more outrageous than Australians?
Posted by: MOTW | April 27, 2004 at 06:19 AM
I'd pay to see Oprah Winfrey duke it out with a bear.
Posted by: mudstuffin | April 27, 2004 at 06:20 AM
This sounds like the most ingenious wilderness outing for emotionally troubled teens ever. From here on, no matter what happens to him, this kid can think, "Well, at least I'm not being attacked by a bear."
Posted by: Lairbo | April 27, 2004 at 06:27 AM
I was going to ask the same thing, punky. Especially since that was one BAD ASS BEAR. I mean, flares, pepper spray, and an air horn...I don't suspect the "emotionally disturbed" teen could sustain that...
Posted by: sadie | April 27, 2004 at 06:29 AM
*I guess maybe you need all these items when you take troubled teens into the woods.*
Yes, you need all these things and more. I work in the "Behavior Room" at an elementary. school. No way would I ever turn my back on or fall asleep any where near these kids and they aren't teens yet.
Someone really should have been on the lookout for innocent wildlife. They didn't have a chance.
I agree with Punky. Why did the bear have to die? Aren't they supposed to relocate them?
Posted by: Lily | April 27, 2004 at 06:35 AM
When you're outting is in Alaska, you take flares and air horns, people get lost in them woods. You take pepper spray because it is troubled youths, unless it was bear spray which you take for just this reason. Course, most people I know don't think bear spray works, so they just take their guns, but I could see why these councilors wouldn't want guns on this trip...
Posted by: Mike from Fairbanks | April 27, 2004 at 06:47 AM
Of course the bear couldn't be allowed to live. After being sprayed with pepper spray, blasted with an air horn, and shot with a flare, do you honestly think that bear would ever stop hunting those bastard kids? I mean, come on.
Posted by: Garret | April 27, 2004 at 06:49 AM
mmmmmmmmm, bear........
Posted by: steve | April 27, 2004 at 07:01 AM
Gotta kill the bear, man!
It's natural. Animals move into eachother's territories all the time. We're the only ones who bother to build zoos.
And what thanks do we get? Bears trying to eat our troubled teens!
Oh wait - maybe that WAS thanks.
Posted by: Christobol | April 27, 2004 at 07:14 AM
It took the kid blowing an air horn to wake the rest of the camp?
Sounds like they were being well supervised.
Posted by: Graz | April 27, 2004 at 07:25 AM
Good thing it wasn't an otter.
Posted by: BMX3 | April 27, 2004 at 07:25 AM
Where I come from, we use .44 magnums on bear. This seems to keep them from eating us quite nicely.
Posted by: cheese_ball839 | April 27, 2004 at 07:48 AM
Lily, Behavior Room wbagnfarb. My wife knows some teachers who were removed from schools for hitting kids and other unacceptable behavior. The room where they have to report (unless they are successfully fired) is popularly known as Teacher Jail, another gnfarb.
While I can see your point about why kill the bear, Punky, this kid just lived one of the worst nightmares of any camping trip. You think it's bad when you dream about being naked in front of the entire school (unless you're streaking, of course, when you'd welcome it), but can you imagine waking up with a bear in your tent? Damn, I haven't been camping since I was a kid and it still makes me cringe. I'm camping at the Holiday Inn next time.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | April 27, 2004 at 08:29 AM
Worst nightmare? Please.
Let him wake up with Michael Jackson in his tent.
Talk about scared straight.
Posted by: Christobol | April 27, 2004 at 08:37 AM
No teacher jail here. Any kid that the teacher even remotely wants to hit, ends up here with me. It's a great job. Today one of the kids took a dump on the playground and I got to guard it while we waited for the janitor to come clean it up otherwise the kids would play in it.
Just think of that when you complain about your job. Have you ever been reduced to guarding a steaming pile? If the answer is NO, your job is not as crappy as you thought.
Posted by: Lily | April 27, 2004 at 08:45 AM
Good point, Christobol. My camping days (no pun!) were way before Michael. It might be a tossup as to which would be worse to wake up with. I'd have to go with the bear as I'm way bigger than Michael and could fight him off a lot easier.
Actually, I had some friends who went to Boy Scout camp and had that problem with the Scout leaders.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | April 27, 2004 at 08:45 AM
Wow, Lily. Thanks for the attitude adjustment. Really.
Posted by: mudstuffin | April 27, 2004 at 08:54 AM
true Jeff. come to think of it...any self respecting third grader ought to be able to put Michael Jackson into a coma pretty easily.
It's just that ever since the Jungle Book I've wanted to meet a bear. You know, "Look for the BEAR NECESSITIES" and all that.
Surely Disney wouldn't mislead me about the dangers of nature?
Posted by: Christobol | April 27, 2004 at 09:12 AM
Tito, get me a tissue.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | April 27, 2004 at 09:22 AM
I'm with Punky and Bangi. I don't think the bear was at fault and it makes me very sad that they killed her. I mean, condolences to the kid, and all, but why was he alone? Stoopid counselors.
Not relevant, but I just want to add that I got to hold and pet a young grizzly bear, and it was quite possible the highlight of the decade.
Posted by: theresa | April 27, 2004 at 10:00 AM
Yeah, but Theresa, the only reason you got to hold that young grizzly bear is because somebody shot it's parents (probably gut-shot 'em, at that).
See, for your highlight of the decade, two bears had to die painfully. Way to go.
Ha. But really, what do you suppose momma bear would have done to you?
Posted by: Christobol | April 27, 2004 at 10:41 AM
Well, you can't just let them get away!
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | April 27, 2004 at 11:08 AM
Bad Attitude Bears vs. Troubled Teens, wbagnfarb.
Or baseball teams.
Punky, that's just human nature. If something bugs us, we hunt it down and kill it. And everything just like it. And most of the stuff anywhere near it. And each other.
Maybe they were afraid the bear caught something from the troubled teen, like rabies. Rabid Teens wbagnfarb.
Posted by: Lee | April 27, 2004 at 01:09 PM
"The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Yosemite, Tahoe, and Northern Sierra areas.
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices, such as little bells, on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.
They also advise you to carry pepper spray, in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.
People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings:
Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.
Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray."
Posted by: Lee | April 27, 2004 at 02:00 PM
I wonder if a grizzly bear considers a teen in a tent to be gift-wrapped?
Posted by: jamester | April 27, 2004 at 02:35 PM
Lee: excellent. Little bells? What are they, Morris dancers?
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | April 27, 2004 at 03:04 PM
Lee, that's hilarious! I DID NOT see the punch line coming at all.
Posted by: Garret | April 27, 2004 at 05:26 PM
My theory is if the girl attacks first then all bets are off and guys are allowed to wail into them.
Posted by: MeL | April 27, 2004 at 08:19 PM
Gun control means hitting where you aim at...
Posted by: cheese_ball839 | April 28, 2004 at 03:36 AM
What??? The bear's killed?
Did they not think about that the bear might be emotionally troubled?
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