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April 27, 2004


Not this blog.

Key Quote: "I think he is the biggest, baddest thing in the woods. He punched the bear."

(Thanks to Jason Easterday and Jeff Meyerson)


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Any word on the status of his pants? I think mine might have been ruined.

Poor bear....nobody wants to have to face an adolescent.

Is it me or is this the kind of thing that encourages complete morans to do stupid shiznit?

Let's not encourage him. He's an emotionally troubled youth. He should have sat down with the bear and discussed their disagreements until they had fostered a new understanding.

Air horns? Pepper spray? Flares?

What the heck kind of "nature" trip was this?

I guess maybe you need all these items when you take troubled teens into the woods.

Are people in Alaska more outrageous than Australians?

I'd pay to see Oprah Winfrey duke it out with a bear.

This sounds like the most ingenious wilderness outing for emotionally troubled teens ever. From here on, no matter what happens to him, this kid can think, "Well, at least I'm not being attacked by a bear."

I was going to ask the same thing, punky. Especially since that was one BAD ASS BEAR. I mean, flares, pepper spray, and an air horn...I don't suspect the "emotionally disturbed" teen could sustain that...

*I guess maybe you need all these items when you take troubled teens into the woods.*

Yes, you need all these things and more. I work in the "Behavior Room" at an elementary. school. No way would I ever turn my back on or fall asleep any where near these kids and they aren't teens yet.

Someone really should have been on the lookout for innocent wildlife. They didn't have a chance.

I agree with Punky. Why did the bear have to die? Aren't they supposed to relocate them?

When you're outting is in Alaska, you take flares and air horns, people get lost in them woods. You take pepper spray because it is troubled youths, unless it was bear spray which you take for just this reason. Course, most people I know don't think bear spray works, so they just take their guns, but I could see why these councilors wouldn't want guns on this trip...

Of course the bear couldn't be allowed to live. After being sprayed with pepper spray, blasted with an air horn, and shot with a flare, do you honestly think that bear would ever stop hunting those bastard kids? I mean, come on.

mmmmmmmmm, bear........

Gotta kill the bear, man!

It's natural. Animals move into eachother's territories all the time. We're the only ones who bother to build zoos.

And what thanks do we get? Bears trying to eat our troubled teens!

Oh wait - maybe that WAS thanks.

It took the kid blowing an air horn to wake the rest of the camp?

Sounds like they were being well supervised.

Good thing it wasn't an otter.

Where I come from, we use .44 magnums on bear. This seems to keep them from eating us quite nicely.

Lily, Behavior Room wbagnfarb. My wife knows some teachers who were removed from schools for hitting kids and other unacceptable behavior. The room where they have to report (unless they are successfully fired) is popularly known as Teacher Jail, another gnfarb.

While I can see your point about why kill the bear, Punky, this kid just lived one of the worst nightmares of any camping trip. You think it's bad when you dream about being naked in front of the entire school (unless you're streaking, of course, when you'd welcome it), but can you imagine waking up with a bear in your tent? Damn, I haven't been camping since I was a kid and it still makes me cringe. I'm camping at the Holiday Inn next time.

Worst nightmare? Please.

Let him wake up with Michael Jackson in his tent.

Talk about scared straight.

No teacher jail here. Any kid that the teacher even remotely wants to hit, ends up here with me. It's a great job. Today one of the kids took a dump on the playground and I got to guard it while we waited for the janitor to come clean it up otherwise the kids would play in it.

Just think of that when you complain about your job. Have you ever been reduced to guarding a steaming pile? If the answer is NO, your job is not as crappy as you thought.

Good point, Christobol. My camping days (no pun!) were way before Michael. It might be a tossup as to which would be worse to wake up with. I'd have to go with the bear as I'm way bigger than Michael and could fight him off a lot easier.

Actually, I had some friends who went to Boy Scout camp and had that problem with the Scout leaders.

Wow, Lily. Thanks for the attitude adjustment. Really.

true Jeff. come to think of it...any self respecting third grader ought to be able to put Michael Jackson into a coma pretty easily.

It's just that ever since the Jungle Book I've wanted to meet a bear. You know, "Look for the BEAR NECESSITIES" and all that.

Surely Disney wouldn't mislead me about the dangers of nature?

Tito, get me a tissue.

I'm with Punky and Bangi. I don't think the bear was at fault and it makes me very sad that they killed her. I mean, condolences to the kid, and all, but why was he alone? Stoopid counselors.

Not relevant, but I just want to add that I got to hold and pet a young grizzly bear, and it was quite possible the highlight of the decade.

Yeah, but Theresa, the only reason you got to hold that young grizzly bear is because somebody shot it's parents (probably gut-shot 'em, at that).

See, for your highlight of the decade, two bears had to die painfully. Way to go.

Ha. But really, what do you suppose momma bear would have done to you?

Well, you can't just let them get away!

Bad Attitude Bears vs. Troubled Teens, wbagnfarb.
Or baseball teams.

Punky, that's just human nature. If something bugs us, we hunt it down and kill it. And everything just like it. And most of the stuff anywhere near it. And each other.

Maybe they were afraid the bear caught something from the troubled teen, like rabies. Rabid Teens wbagnfarb.

"The California State Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Yosemite, Tahoe, and Northern Sierra areas.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices, such as little bells, on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly.

They also advise you to carry pepper spray, in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.

People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings:

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray."

I wonder if a grizzly bear considers a teen in a tent to be gift-wrapped?

Lee: excellent. Little bells? What are they, Morris dancers?

Lee, that's hilarious! I DID NOT see the punch line coming at all.

My theory is if the girl attacks first then all bets are off and guys are allowed to wail into them.

Gun control means hitting where you aim at...

What??? The bear's killed?
Did they not think about that the bear might be emotionally troubled?

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