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April 23, 2004


...only outlaws will have Nutter Butters.

(Thanks to Harry and Liz Nast)


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Yes, yes you are. First to be proclaimed a doofus for posting nothing but a single word, proclaiming yourself to be first.

Anyway, I had a teacher who was allergic to peanuts. I jokingly threatened him with a PB&J sandwich once... But nobody thought I meant to murder him...

A junior high teacher had told all her classes at the beginning of the year that she was asthmatic and requested they refrain from wearing perfume or cologne. One female student was angry at a bad grade she'd received. So she sprayed the teacher's desk and chair in perfume. The teacher had to be sent by ambulance to the hospital, where she stayed for a couple days. The student was sent to another school as a punitive measure.

The difference, Some guy, is that you "jokingly" threatened. These days, it's all about perceived threat and perceived intent.

Oh, I know that. I only mentioned the story because it was similar (as in, it involved a student threatening a teacher with a peanut product). I myself am allergic to perfumes, heavy perfume putting me into a sneezing fit. On two occasions, I've gotten bloody noses from those fits. Hardly life threatening, but very annoying, and usually a bit painful.

Ouch, I can imagine it's painful to get a bloody nose from a sneezing fit! Sorry to hear about it.

BTW, the teacher I mentioned did not press charges against the student. But the administration felt it would be better for everyone if the student attended an "alternative" school for a while.

And the first questions the "alternative" school asked the students parents:

Is your child allergic to anything? And if so, where can we get whatever it is she's allergic to in quantity?

Ok, maybe not.

In today's public school climate, I'm wondering why teachers would even tell their kids something like "I'm deathly allergic to peanuts" in the first place. Is that really a good strategy? I mean, considering the looks of the majority of the sorry baggy-pants gangsta punks I see walking to and from junior high and high school these days (or am I just getting too old?)

Peanuts are evil

I'd give that kid extra credit for ingenuity.

Yeah, but what was he going to do, hold her down and force it down her throat? I mean, was it a real threat or just something "bad" in our P.C. society? Inquiring minds want to know. (If the kid was six feet tall and menacing and the teacher was a shrimp, then they did the right thing.)

Harmless gifts for teach? Or threat?

I have a student who is severely allergic to peanuts. Her teachers all know, but most students don't. She was hospitalized after just being in the same room with someone who was eating peanut m&ms.

Point being, when you are that allergic, you don't have to eat the stuff.

If you're THAT allergic to peanuts then I think it's only fair that you be killed in an entertaining fashion on Fox.

What next? "Lactose Intolerant teacher suspends entire school during lunchroom tirade"

"School spends $6.2 Million on Peanut Sniffing Dogs - teacher still dies because student looked at a peanut weeks ago. Administration suspends whole class and severs a goat's head 'as a warning'."

I find it interesting that the kid with the cookies did not directly threaten the teacher, but only told one of the girls that he had "something dangerous in his pocket", and this was perceived as a threat to the teacher. It sounds like a whole lot of paranoia to me.

As long as we put the goat's head in the tomb of a poet...

My nephew was suspended for 3 days for bringing a screwdriver to school to fix his desk. It had been broken for two months. The teacher knew he had the tooland didn't care, in fact, she had suggested it. One of the other students told the principle.

The janitor's union insisted that he be made an example. Now he knows better than to mess with the union.

Jessica, excellent point. Maybe he really had a gun in his pocket. Or his dick.

Yeah Lily, he deserved it. After all, he was making the janitors look bad. Now they might have to get off their butts (pulling the pants up past the crack) and DO SOME WORK!

Punky, this site should prove that common sense is indeed passé.

That's what I thought, but no one knew what he had. So why did they assume that he was going to force the cookies down the teacher's throat? There must be some more facts that are not in this story.

As a teacher, let me assure you that common sense does still exist in schools. If this kid is looking a a 10 day suspension, my guess is he has had numerous other run-ins and this is just the one that caused the big penalty. Kids joke all the time. We adults decide when to throw the book at them. Like when we've had so much button pushing from one little snot that we'd like to take those nutter butters and shove them . . .

er, well, we love children. That's why we teach.

School is supposed to be about learning. What more valuable lesson can you have, then to learn about how unions work? I think his school is doing a wonderful job.

Speaking of plumbers, there may soon be many unhappy ones in Baton Rouge

Has anyone else noticed that roast peanuts smell like farts?

I have an allergy to lawyers -- anybody got a cure or else can I go home early today?

And potato chips, and broccolli with cheese sauce

Eykis, you can go home early today. My own lawyer business finished this morning :-)

btw...just curious, do you guys think making a poster of a snowman melting another snowman with a hair dryer as a Christmas gag is funny? My school apparently didn't. -alex

Hilarious, didn't Calvin and Hobbs do that before??

Wait a minute......The kid's name is Jules? And the father's is Loubert?

That kid better be packin' somethin' more dangerous than Nutter Butters to avoid the stomping he probably gets on the playground daily.

And you would think that a guy named Loubert would know better...

Similar story to Lily's, but not aimed at children: A professor here taught at like 3 p.m. and hated having a blackboard that was covered with a day's chalk dust. So he used to bring a bucket and sponge to wipe down the boards he used. You guess it -- the janitors' union filed a grievance against the professor's department, saying the prof was trying to take away their jobs.

"In the Country of the Blind, The One-Eyed Man is King"...or something like that.

Has anyone else ever actually read that story?

He had two eyes, he lost his eyes, because for all of his ego, lust, and greed, the Blind had their own well-developed version of seeing.

He thought he'd be King, 'til he felt such a sting, and got caught by his strange way of being.

My Respects across the Boards....

punky brewster asks: "Is common sense Passé these days?"

A. Yes.

GOOD GRAVY! It was a cookie in a kid's pocket--not kryptonite!

Ive got a bee. Back off I'll use it. Got some strawberries too. Back off.

Could they get him for using chemical warfare?

I'm not allergic to anything, but I'm definitely going to tell my students I am....just to see which of those little ritalin-sucking, knuckle-draggin' freaks wants to off me....haha

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