« Previous | Main | Next »

April 22, 2004

TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the bastards are using lust-crazed rhinos.

Key Quote: "He was a big boy and obviously aroused"

(Thanks to many alert people)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

"rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals." Well, duh. A Renault?

"rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals"

As a male who has occasionally tried to mate with an innappropriate object, I resent that remark.

You mean you want the term "rhino" to include you, mudstuffin?

Just think. The offspring would have been a Rhinault.

Why, of course.

The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.
.
Coincidence?

He could have at least kissed the Renault first!

If the Renault's a-rockin' don't come a-knockin!

Key Quote: "He was a big boy and obviously aroused"

"Hey, does that rhino have a second horn or is he just happy to see us?"

Doug,
I think all rhinos have two horns.

*Doug looking at his adult beverage,dumbfounded*

Inner nerd speaking:

There are more than one species of rhino. Some have one horn, some have two.

Sorry, inner nerd failed english.

ATTENTION:
Change the "two" to "three" in my above, poorly executed joke.
THAT IS ALL.
(thanks, Jesica)

My local hunting/fishing store sells female-moose-in-heat scent to attract moose (meese?) to hunters. My local Six Flags has a safari drive-thru with moose (meeses?) walking arould amongst the cars. Should I hop out in the entrance line and sprinkle some on the bumper of the car in front of me, and then film the results?

You have to ask?

Steve, the "female moose in heat" scent seems a bit unsporting. Why not just take a shotgun to the zoo?

Careful with the sprinkling, though, a sudden gust of wind and you could be the subject of said comical video.

No, but I would like to be able to share the blame, should a tragedy occur. (The Blog People put me up to it.)

I wonder if this guy's insurance adjuster believes him? "You say your car was wrecked by a rhino?... And what was your blood alcohol level?"

At least it didn't try to hump their leg, that could have been embarassing.

The insurance is a good point. They have these long stupid forms to fill out, and want you to draw pictures. Are they going to send it back if you are no good at sketching rhino willies? What position number is the rhino's side-mounted Renault boink?

Exerpt from HotRhinoLust.com:

"OOOH baby, your tailpipe is so HOT and tight!"

Sorry folks, couldn't resist.

Personally, I think that the picture is just as entertaining as the article itself.

Love is in the air...everywhere I look around.

Even when it comes to random Renaults.

For the record, the "photoshopped" photo is of the wrong kind of rhino. I'm fairly sure that's a black rhino (grainy snaphot, alas), white rhinos have broad mouths as they are grazers. Black rhinos eat shrubs and leaves and use their lips to strip branches. Also: there really are only two types of African rhinos, and both have two horns -- though they do break.

I've seen this happen in East Africa when rhinos are in rut. Crazed rhinos attempting to mount anything that even remotely could be a female rhino.

ex safari guide

For the record, the "photoshopped" photo is of the wrong kind of rhino. I'm fairly sure that's a black rhino (grainy snaphot, alas), white rhinos have broad mouths as they are grazers. Black rhinos eat shrubs and leaves and use their lips to strip branches. Also: there really are only two types of African rhinos, and both have two horns -- though they do break.

I've seen this happen in East Africa when rhinos are in rut. Crazed rhinos attempting to mount anything that even remotely could be a female rhino.

ex safari guide

It could be carried by an African rhino!
Oh, yeah, an African rhino maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
But then of course a-- African rhinos are non-migratory.
Oh, yeah...
So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...

but they could bang a Renault....

I was one of the "many alert readers" who rushed this to Dave, knowing how crazed animal stories are his favorite.

Of course the rhino isn't too bright; he was humping the SIDE of the car wasn't he? Of course, we don't know if he wanted the Renault or Dave Alsop. Are there such things as Gay Rhinos? There was a special about gay animals on cable last night (no lie, though it did appear to be meant as humorous).

Gay Rhinos wbagnfarb, by the way.

F___ My Renault ~ wbagnfarb?

A challenging day for PETA. You can save the rhino, but keep the cameras away when he shows his appreciation all over your car.

And wouldn't that hurt?!

Wonder if the airbags deployed?

Rhinos may be dumb, but I have a couple exboyfriends would I would not be surprised to see humping a Volkswagon after a couple few brewskies......

I could use a couple few brewskies, myself. And that VW in the parking lot with the vanity plate "Hug" is looking pretty cute about now...

Hot Rhino Lust would also bagnfarb.

Wasn't there a post awhile backabout someone vomiting on a car and doing thousands of dollars worth of damage? (I think it was in Germany.) How much damage would rhino love juice (a GREAT nfarb) do, I wonder?

Alex, I like that "get on the rhino love train." Wasn't that by the O-Jays? ;)

I think that "lust-crazed rhinos" would be a good name for a band.

I think Lust-Crazed Rhinos would be a good name for a band.

Strange... but I just now found BarryFS's post on the "good name for a rock band" page: "Horny Rhino"

coincidence?

"Horny Rhino" sounds like a drum and bugle corp.

I knew I read it somewhere:

Man's vomit caused £1,300 damage to car
Police in Germany are looking for a man thought to have caused £1,300 damage by being sick on a car. (It was on ananova.com.)

Hey! I sent that one in a while back, while we were talking about certain posts causing us to vomit. Too bad it didn't get in. Would've been funny right after some of the really disgusting posts.

People! The plural of moose is moose .

Thank you. That is all.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise