TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the bastards are using exploding pet food.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Update: According to alert commenters, this item has already been posted. Our excuse is that, being busy posting items, we do not always have time to personally read them. We apologize, and promise to investigate this matter and have several people fired, even if this means we have to go out and hire people for the express purpose of firing them. Thank you.

Comments

[Equidae]

First post!

Woot!

:)

[Lee]

Yep, I thought I read this here already. Maybe it was somewhere else, but it sure seemed like it was here.

[BMX3]

Well since this seems to be an older subject, try this: an automatic Dave Barry columngenerator.

[Lily]

Yes, they did post this recently. I saw it too.

[Christobol]

then how come more dogs don't spontaneously combust?

oh - the farts.

[Claire]

Technically, he should have listed this as an *update* to last week's alarming item on exploding pet food. Today's item illustrates what news organizations do when editors, who spend more time in meetings than in the real world, worry that readers/viewers might fail to realize that This Could Happen To You, Too, and order a follow-up to the original improbable story.

[kathy]

wow! it's claire martin herself! thanks for all the terrific and weird stuff you send this way.

and also for the piercing insight on the dangers of excessive meetings on editorial [and other forms of] judgment. a sad cautionary tale....

[Eric]

Doesn't the guy to the far left of the news banner look a bit like the old woman from "Poltergeist"? No? Just to me then? Right, ok.

[eadn]

I stand by (and in front of!!) both Dave and Claire!

This is a follow-up news article, not a re-gurgitation! Suffice to say that I buy my kitty crumbles in a small box, so I don't have to worry about this problem.

And one of the main reasons why I DON'T go to the local Costco warehouse IS to NOT buy GARGANTUAN sizes of things that will rot and perhaps terminate in a nasty clean-up situation!

P.S. Do and Don't mind me about the "newsiness" of Dave's or Judi's posts! Damnit!!!! Dave does Humor, not Accuracy of News, Nor Timeliness thereof! What in the Hell, Hel, Hades, do any of y'all Bloglits, Blurkers, Trolls, and other assorted Star Wars toys think The Blog is about?!

Read again the "origin" of the MOAT and my apologies for losing my temper in (cl)ass!

[Gregg]

Wi nøt trei a høliday at Happy Hills Animal Shelter this yer?

See the løveli grøunds

The støckpiled føød

And mani exciting expløsions

We apologise for the fault in re-running the blog posts. Those responsible have been sacked.

Mynd you, expløding pet føød Kan be pretty nasti...

We apologise again for the fault in the blog. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked.

Expløding pet føød støckpiled by: Tutte Hermsgervordenbrotborda

The directors of the firm hired to continue the blog after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.

[Garret]

This takes me back to my days of stocking shelves at Kroger (grocery store).

In late summer here in Atlanta, we always dreaded unloading the non-refrigerated truck.

Everything came in on pallet from the distribution center. And you always knew that at least one can of Alpo had blown.

And when it blew, it was nasty. I'm talking maggot-invested nasty. (Sorry to Bangi if you're eating breakfast.)

But I always wondered and my question is now: Why was the dog food the only canned item that blew? I mean the temps in the warehouse and the trucks probably hit 150. Why not the tuna? The Dinty Moore Beef Stew? Or (dare I say) the Spam? (No Chaz Stevens. For the love of God no!)

Does pet food include some exploding-inclined ingredients?

[Jessica]

eadn, buddy, here have a beer. I don't think anyone was attacking anyone. Granted, I have been out in the sun all day, but I didn't read anything nasty before your comment went off.

Gregg, I love your comment. Where did you find that little "empty set" symbol?

[eadn]

Jessica Thanks!

However, for this good old dragon, there has been one too many times that some commenter has mentioned the age of the article instead of focusing on its "timely" humor.

Dave's "origin" of 'The Moat' should've waylaid such commenting by now....

[Gregg]

I should've added "...with apologies to Monty Python and the Holy Grail" at the end of my post.

I appropriated that symbol from the actual script of the opening credits. I'm too lazy to figure out how to type one of those myself.

[kj]

Loved the Auto Dave! Thanks for the link, BMX3.