MODERN MEDICAL CARE
A man has to call 911 to get help while he's in a hospital bed.
(Thanks to Cory Foy)
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A man has to call 911 to get help while he's in a hospital bed.
(Thanks to Cory Foy)
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First.
Posted by: Blog Jones | April 18, 2004 at 04:35 PM
911 Emergency--for times when throwing urine in the hallway just isn't enough.
Posted by: mike | April 18, 2004 at 04:35 PM
his call button wasn't equipped with the standard morphine hookup?
what a tragedy!
Posted by: adrienne | April 18, 2004 at 04:36 PM
And:
"The hospital says it does have stringent policies and a responsible staff that pays close attention to patients needs."
Right...
Posted by: Blog Jones | April 18, 2004 at 04:37 PM
Well, given staffing at many hospitals, this isn't too surpising.
Yeah, and the Administration CARES about your safety??? You can certainly talk to them about it, between 8-5, Mon through Fri, but PLEASE don't bust the hospital budget by asking for more Nurses. This would be irrational. The real solution is hiring more Administrators to handle the Complaints, silly...
True to life, the EB
Posted by: EB | April 18, 2004 at 04:40 PM
Actually been there, never done that, but yeah, even busy (exception being busy with an emergency / trauma patient) somebody get their ass in and actually check!!!!
Sorry, no joke, had veins collapse on me in the hospital...still alive today...(twice)
Posted by: eadn | April 18, 2004 at 04:45 PM
heh heh, having read my own post and being of the kitty-persuasion, I 'spose I only have 7 lives left!
(actually, maybe only 6, but the prequel didn't have to do with a hospital! ;-)
Posted by: eadn | April 18, 2004 at 04:48 PM
This strikes me as a really bizarre circular reference of sorts ...
Posted by: Punky Brewster | April 18, 2004 at 04:57 PM
That's nothing. I once took my wife to the emergency room when she was bleeding profusely, and after twenty minutes of making a mess in the waiting room I called an ambulance in an effort to at least get an EMT involved. The ambulance dispatcher said they "couldn't" come to the hospital, so I asked how far do I have to move my wife before they'll come. I never got an intelligible answer.
The answer: If you're bleeding, don't drive to the hospital. Call an ambulance first!
Posted by: Dave | April 18, 2004 at 05:05 PM
I liked this part: "whether a patient's worries are ***real or perceived***, [the hospital] wants to know about them so it can address them quickly."
Implying he just *thought* his arm was swelling!
(Sorry about the asterisks. One of these days I'll learn the codes for bold text & stuff. Nah.)
Posted by: qetzal | April 18, 2004 at 05:11 PM
Dave, (not Dave Barry or OtherDave) been there, done that, got the order right as you said in the last place.
qetzal, I'm with you, but alot of patients go "overboard" (I did the first time, but I was in a special room) No, not mental, just physical, blood-loss like lack-of-breathing tends to wake 'em up!
After all of that (twice) learning html is "lyte" and like you may never be completely done.
I gotta get off this subject, Thanks!
Posted by: eadn | April 18, 2004 at 05:28 PM
EB, you really hit the American health care problem squarely on the head (at least according to my humble opinion firmly held). In the last ten years, the increase in administrators has outpaced the increase in actual medical caregivers something like 10:1. Is it any wonder we have situations like the posted story?
Sorry. I know the comments are supposed to be funny, but I am a pre-med major who is really scared the problems won't be fixed by the time I get my license. This has become my hobby horse, and I can't resist commenting on it whenever possible.
Posted by: jimARK | April 18, 2004 at 06:45 PM
I've only been to the ER twice..no wait..three times. But every time I got in pretty quickly. Then again our hospital DOES suck..but hey, I'm still alive!
Posted by: MeL | April 18, 2004 at 07:00 PM
Tarpon Springs is Florida.
::sigh::
I almost died as an infant because a hospital wouldn't admit me; 108 degree fever.
And my little brother cut off his thumb when he was five, and they wanted to see the girl who had had a very minor asthma attack first. Lucky for my lil' bro her father made a huge stink in the ER about bleeding to death or something. He made the nurse check out my brother in fear for her life, and for holding up the line.
Posted by: crash | April 18, 2004 at 07:31 PM
When I read the headline of this article, I thought I'd heard it before. Apparently, one of my readers tells a story one better. Not only had the nurses at a hospital where her uncle was a patient not answer his calls, they removed his phone from his room. So he got on his cell phone to call 911.
Posted by: SMFTC | April 18, 2004 at 08:43 PM
My wife's been a nurse for 25 years. During that time she's seen the nursing staff cut down to a fifth of what it used to be, thanks to HMOs. Stay healthy and don't play with sharp objects.
Posted by: steve | April 19, 2004 at 04:21 AM
Hmmm...personal experience from Friday:
I was in the emergency room on Friday from 8:15pm to 2:30am. And there was a 16-year-old kid there who jumped on a trampoline post and had a huge hole in his thigh who was still waiting when I left.
Off topic: If you must bring your 3 children to the emergency room with you, please do not allow them to run and scream in the waiting room; at a bear minimum you should at least tell them to stop!
Posted by: Edelweiss | April 19, 2004 at 05:39 AM
My mom once lay in a hospital bed for over 72 hours with an allergic reaction. Hives from head to foot. I stayed awake the majority of those hours, scrubbing her down with crushed ice. On the dawn of Day #4, a Big Kahuna Nurse we'd never seen before (roughly 700 years old, probably ex-Korean War, possibly ex-WW I) stalked in, took one look, snarled "this is ridiculous" and stalked back out.
Roughly three nanoseconds later, every M.D. within a five mile radius was huddled around Mom's bed, putting their 100+ manyears of med school experience to the analysis of a tough, tough hypothesis way out there on the frontier of modern medical theory...namely, "Do you guys think some painkillers and antihistamines might help with the icky red spots and this whole 'itching' thing?"
Important health tip: Doctors aren't always at the top of the totem pole. If you're ever checked in to a hospital, immediately make friends with the most "senior" (translation: "mummified") R.N. you can find. She's seen it all, she has a heart of 14k gold, she's had it up to here with 25-year-old med school dweebs, and she's just looking for an excuse to kick some whitecoat ass all the way down the hall and back in your behalf.
Posted by: some_dan_or_other | April 19, 2004 at 07:50 AM
After reading the rest of everyone's events, I have to say I had it pretty good my last trip to the hospital.
The ambulance bypasses a lot of foofarah (especially when even they had trouble finding a good vein).
Straight into emergency for a half a day, then ICU, no paperwork. But the next morning an administrator pensively looked in, then asked me if I had medical insurance. (I was pretty scruffy at the time :-) Anyways, after I gave her my insurance card, she goes off and checks it, and comes back ALL SMILES!
I swear they must've run just about every member of the staff by me just 'cause the bill would get paid!
Posted by: eadn | April 19, 2004 at 08:40 AM
Semi-off topic (hospitals), this is probably the best use of a telephone since that Marine called in airstrikes using a pay-phone in Grenada.
Posted by: BMX3 | April 19, 2004 at 08:45 AM
"The hospital says it does have stringent policies and a responsible staff that pays close attention to patients needs.
It also says whether a patient's worries are real or perceived, it wants to know about them so it can address them quickly."
Can you imagine if they 'took their time'?
Posted by: Lmd33 | April 19, 2004 at 02:12 PM
I work in a hospital in Pasco County, FL, and I answer the call buzzers in the patient rooms, and from my experience, I can give you a good idea about what *really* happened in that room.
As a general rule, the call bells are answered very quickly - within 30 seconds average and no more than 1 minute max.
There are some *extreme* cases when patients call excessively because they are lonely, bored, or just jerks. I can think of one patient who everyone in my department literally *HATES* because she is the most annoying lady on earth. She sounds like an extremely crotchety version of Joan Rivers. She calls (this is not an exaggeration)at least 2 times every 5 minutes all day long and most of the night. She complains about every little ache and pain and when she thinks she might be discharged soon, she will start complaining about chest pain. She is what most healthcare workers refer to as a "Professional Patient". She likes laying in bed and having people wait on her - bring her food, bring her ice, cut her toe nails, give her bed baths, etc... She has been known to soil the bed several times per day (she is perfectly capable of getting up and going to the restroom) simply because she wants someone to come into the room and touch her and spend time with her. She screams for a nurse at the top of her lungs and makes it impossible to put anyone in the same room with her. Normally, you have to pay a lot of money to have a private room, but she gets a private room every time because of the way she is. She is just a jerk, she is stupid, rude, and treats the staff horribly.
I can recall another patient who threatened the staff that he would do kaka and peepee all over his room and hallway if someone didn't bring him a tuna fish sandwich. (explatives omitted) And it wasn't a bluff. He really did it, and did it on several staff members - several times. So keep an open mind when you read these types of stories.
Patients call 911 from the hospital all the time. They do it because they are confused, angry that their doctor didn't write them a RX for more pain meds, the nurse didn't bring them a fresh bucket of ice the last time she came in the room, etc.
Someone who would throw a urine bucket into the hallway to get the nurses attention is probably a whackjob to begin with. If no one answered his call bell, it was probably because he had been abusing it like crazy all day and night long and had made the staff hate him.
Although this is the wrong attitude to have since he and his insurance company are paying good money to be there, the simple fact of the matter is that the nurses are almost always short staffed because administration is too cheap to increase the nurse to patient ratio, so one nurse attends 5 to 10 patients in some cases (depending on department) and the nurse doesn't have the time to spend in the patients room. She is busy passing medication, assessing other patients, checking test results, talking to doctors, etc. Most seniors (and most people in general) think that the ratio of nurse to patient is 2 or 3 patients to each nurse and while that may be true in some departments, in others, the ratio can be up to 10:1
*Most* nurses will do everything they can to help their patients. It's the reason they become nurses - it's not for the money. Doctors don't do patient care, they are there for the money.
As far as hospital administration goes. They are the enemy, never to be trusted. Fat Cat Suits with smiles to your face and knives in their coats all shined up ready to throw in your back. (or other orifaces) To them it's all about the benjamin's folks. They're money-grubbing wolves. Patients are numbers and insurance companies. Medical care is all based on how much they can still make off of you while you are in the hospital. You had just better hope that you have a good doctor when you are in the hospital. Because if the hospital is full and they want your bed, they will pressure your doctor into discharging you so they can get your bed to bring in the next lamb to the slaughter. (The longer you are in the hospital, the less money the hospital makes off of you. It has to do with admitting the patient, ordering different tests...etc)
As a hospital employee, the best advice I can give is this: Trust no one. I know it's X-files-ish, but it's true. Don't trust anyone. Especially anyone wearing clothes and not hospital scrubs. They are not on your side. No one is. You are on your own. And if you are in Florida and you get sick....good luck.
Posted by: Voodoo | April 19, 2004 at 09:32 PM