MEDICAL ADVICE

Please make sure your doctor has graduated from the 3rd grade.

("Come on... let's go for it"?!)

(Thanks to Glen Ebbing)

Comments

[eadn]

'Spose now she'll be looking into the fan pants as a deductible medical expense.

[crash]

I'd never want to
"Pop like a balloon at a kid's birthday party."

[Lmd33]

". . . in her attempt to collect $17.5 million for medical expenses, lost future wages and emotional pain and suffering".

I would have guessed the $17.5 mil would be for the extreme embarrassment of being the only woman with an exploding butt!

Wouldn't chocolate cake, ice cream sundaes and lots of pasta have been a lot easier???

[Con]

"Well, if she wants J.Lo's butt, let's give it to her.' And they pumped more air into the implants. Then another one said, 'Come on, that's nothing, let's go for it.' And they just kept pushing the limit until it all just exploded."

Gee, just how big IS J.Lo's butt these days anyway?

[Con]

Wouldn't chocolate cake, ice cream sundaes and lots of pasta have been a lot easier???
Posted by: Lmd33 on April 18, 2004 12:34 PM

Not to mention cheaper and more fun. I wonder if she'd want her butt back if it meant that she had to give back the $17.5 million?

[Reality Check]

I think it might be wise to remember that this is from the Weekly World News, so... it's a fake story. Sorry to burst your butts.

[Lmd33]

It always worked for me!

[barbiguinness]

Thanks, Reality Check :-)
Are real news stories ever written with this tone? Do you real headlines usually end with an exclamation point?!

[barbiguinness]

Thanks, Reality Check :-)
Are real news stories ever written with this tone? Do real headlines usually end with an exclamation point?!

[barbiguinness]

Hey! My first double post!

[eadn]

But would you want the commenters to abate from taking the bait? ;-)

[judi]

lol yeah, i've never seen exclamation points in a real news story, now that you mention it. ;)

[judi]

btw, did anybody else notice they screwed up her name, towards the end there? they switched from jones-whatever to whatever-jones.

[Chris Cypser]

Next time they should pump in marshmallow cream.

[eadn]

Whatever, judi ;-)

[Julia]

I noticed that judi! Was wondering if anyone else had. Fine establishment they're running there.

[mike]

I kind of liked the name switching from Jones-Davies to Davies-Jones (clearly, someone's a Monkees fan). Nice and egalitarian, kind of like authories who rigidly alternate he and she when referring to an arbitrary person/user/etc. in instruction manuals and the like.

I was also amused at the "second and third degree burns" suffered. Burns? Supposedly, this was pressure damage, not explosives. Now, if they were filling the implants with pet food, maybe....

[Jeff Meyerson]

No way, Rachel, Doogie was much more competent than that.

Crash, maybe you wouldn't want to "pop like a balloon" (or a pinata for that matter) but wouldn't you like to watch someone else pop? I know I would. SCANNERS 4: J LO'S BUTT POPPER.

I too was amused that anyone could take the Weekly World News seriously, but it was defnitely a great story, even if they couldn't keep her name straight.

[Jerf Meyerson]

By the way, The Butt Poppers wbagnfarb.

[Punky Brewster]

Hmm. She did seem a bit too perky for having just had her butt blown off.

I'm just so happy to know that the story was false and that butt implants are still a safe and viable option!

[eadn]

Butt, what if they implanted whoopee cushions instead?

[BMX3]

I think we are missing the point. Obviously Dave and Judi would not just randomly post news links in this blog (pronounced blog). I sure they are somehow interrelated. I for one believe there is a cover up here. I don't think there were any "doctors" involved at all. I believe her butt exploded as a result of poisonous toilet paper!!! It makes perfect sense. Now what have 3rd graders have to do with this? Well, 3rd graders love Sponge Bob Square Pants. And of course Squidward is a main character on SBSP. And......Squidward is a, well, SQUID!!! You do the math.

[Gregg]

Weekly World News. That's all you need to know about this particular blog item. WWN is good for a little chuckle now and then at the local supermarket checkout line, but since all of its stories are nothing more than ludicrous fabrication, the novelty of it wears off.

As an item for this blog, I think it frankly fails, because what this blog does best is provide links to bizarre and/or ironic real news. That's what makes it funny for me -- that it's something that actually happened, however weird/idiotic/hilarious it might be. If I want stupid fake news, I'll go to The Onion, or to the Weekly World News site itself.

[eadn]

Bored Gregg? Trolling for b(ass) maybe? I was impressed with your phonetic comment in Dave's latest "Travel Advisory" today, but I think you need to review Dave's disclaimer on the "Advisory" post of the 14th. Accuracy is not the point of The Blog, but perhaps the fomenting of commenting IS now that we have the option....

P.S. I'm bored too, but it's a Sunday evening and I don't expect much of a party here tonight. C'est la Le Blog. In the meantime, please feel free to enhance yourself with your drug of choice :-)

[MeL]

Gregg..Piss off. Thank you kindly. (and I mean that in a really nice way..actually) :) We all have our own opinions, but that doesn't mean we're all right..just deal with it people.

[eadn]

Hey MeL!!!! Thanks for your comment, butt if I can return the favor in my own way :-) Could You, Sweet Lass, quit downing Yourself?!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I find you to be quite beholdin' (Nope, haven't seen a true pic of you yet, nevertheless you have a Beautiful Dave Blog mind :-)

Given your soccer-legs and short skirts, I gotta imagine you even have lovely knees ;-) If it helps any, the one thing I've always hated is giving a compliment to a Lass and her saying, "No, I'm not really". There goes the pup-tent falling down on a broken shaft /.).\

Rest easy, Sweet MeL, alex will be back after trout-fishing season! heh heh, maybe he'll even cook dinner?!

[Graz]

judi, why is there a link to productivity enhancers on this post on the main page?

Is there a blow-up-the-butt game that I missed?

[eadn]

Graz, only if you've never had a colonoscopy!

[Gregg]

> Gregg..Piss off. Thank you kindly. (and I mean that in a really nice way..actually) :) We all have our own opinions, but that doesn't mean we're all right..just deal with it people.

Exactly, MeL. We all have our own opinions. I gave mine. I don't require you to like it. I won't tell you to go piss off, because I think all opinions, including opposing opinions, should be acceptable here -- and that means WITHOUT someone telling the other person to go piss off, or calling the person a troll, or telling him to go take some congenial medication, or to just go away. Understand?

[Gregg]

And another thing...Is everyone really so incredibly thin-skinned around here that they can't tolerate ANY criticism of ANY posts at all, at ANY time (even those which are meant to be constructive)? I mean really, people, I think some need to get a grip. I really didn't think my comment was offensive -- just an honest criticism of an ultimately very enjoyable blog.

[Punky Brewster]

Gregg.

I can be a bit thin-skinned and my feelings can get hurt easily.

I love this blog ... I love reading the comments ... I get bummed when someone attacks me or my comments and I get bummed when bloglits attack each other. But such is life.

Thanks for the reminder not to take it so personally and to respect everyone's opinions.

Sometimes I forget.

[Gregg]

No problem, Punky. And thanks for the comment.

I never attack anyone's comments -- unless their comments are attacking ME or one of MY comments. Then I may give them the "what for?" But I'm pretty thick-skinned actually, despite the very rude and might I say *personal attack* comments I received in response to a post that was simply making a mild criticism and which did not attack anyone at all (and which I still stand behind -- I just don't think this blog should be an outlet for fake news -- I just think it's better when the stories are real -- otherwise why not just post dozens of links to WWN and Onion stories every day? What fun would that be? That's just my opinion, YMMV).

[MeL]

I just think that ya know...why criticize something you have no control over? And I really meant no offense by saying piss off. But I guess to really understand you'd have to hear me say it..but whatever..I know what I mean. Not to mention I've just been cranky the last few days and what is YMMV?

[Gregg]

YMMV is Your Mileage May Vary. :-)

And who says we commenters have no control over anything here? I think judi and Dave read our comments, at least some of the time. So what we say may have an influence. Or it may not. Either way, I think I should still be able to express it without people telling me to get lost, piss off (even in a "nice" way), take some medication, or telling me "What's the point?"

[MeL]

MmhMm..I see..learn new things everyday. or is that every day..college has made me stupid.

[MeL]

My mom did say I always knew how to win friends and influence others. ;)

[MeL]

Reality..one asshole of a wake up call eh?

[MeL]

Just transfer to KC...they prolly have some open spaces.

[Gregg]

Not that it matters, but this was posted by judi, not Dave. It was her bait!

[JCT]

Ouch.
So if I keep gaining weight there, will mine explode too? I hope not.

[Ms. Nomer]

Personally, I want to meet the person who *wrote* this story. He or she must be hilarious! What an imagination!

[daisyj]

How do you get a job at one of those papers, anyway? I'd love to spend my time thinking up stuff like exploding butts. (Not that I don't anyway; I'd just like to get paid for it.)