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April 30, 2004

ATTENTION, FREQUENT FLIERS

Do not read this.

(Thanks to Michael J. Ester)

Comments

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I'm not worried. They've clearly thought about this and have an emergency plan of action:

"The pilot started to doze again a few moments later, prompting the co-pilot to yell at him. "

Narcoleptic Airline Pilots -- gnfarb?

The pilot falling asleep doesn't disturb me. What REALLY worries me is that the transportation official noticed before the Co-Pilot did....

A government beaurcrat is more alert than the number 2 guy flying the plane?

*SHUDDER*

" Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard All Nippon Airlines. We will be reaching our cruising altitude of snnnnnnnaarrrrrrzzzzzz...."

(surfs to Nippon Air Lines website, hits "Cancel Reservation" - surfs to online brokerage, submits "Sell" order on Nippon Air Lines stock.) Guess I'll get to Japan via Hawaiian canoe instead....

The airline said it's looking into whether the pilot was negligent or suffers from a sleeping disorder.

You'd think they'd check to see whether their pilots had a little thing like narcolepsy before, say, flying an aircraft at almost 40,000 ft.

Captain: Thank you for flying air Nippon, we'll be flying at a FLUCTUATING altitude....

Lets look at this another way, shall we? Given recent reports of drunken pilots, sleeping pilots, terrorist pilots, etc... aren't we all BETTER OFF with the auto-pilot running things (as long as it isn't running on a Windoz system)?

Personally, anyone who waits three hours in a terminal to get on a 200 ton piece of metal (serviced by god knows who!) with 300 coughing people being controlled by underpaid/overworked air traffic control staff and piloted by macho, would-be, stunt pilots... and expects it to FLY to a destination 3,000 miles away and deposit them in one piece is Darwinism at work!

You mean no one gave this guy a physical to test for narcolepsy BEFORE giving him a pilot's license?

Oh, well, what do I know? I'm not an airline safety bureaucrat.

Haven't flown since November 1986 and don't think I'm gonna...

Airplane.

"And don't call me Shirley."

"The Bob" and "Alex" on vacation.

Alex - so, how long you reckon it's gonna take us to drive to Europe?

The Bob - depends on the ferry speed, really. Geez, will ya look at those morons getting on the airplane over there?

Hey, cleary this blog has never taken the red eye from California to the east coast. EVERYBODY sleeps on that flight....

Pilots - what a strange bunch. My younger sister is a Major in the Army and flies a BlackHawk. About 10 years ago, she was stationed in Alaska and they were to meet up with the Russians for some "military bonding" purposes. Now, this is all female pilots (US and Russia). The Russian pilots got out of their helicopters and started drinking helicopter fuel. Why, the US asked? Because they couldn't get Vodka in Russia. So naturally, being loyal American soldier-girl drinking pilots themselves, immediately ran to the commissary and purchased mass quantities of liquor for the Russians. Helicopter fuel cocktails. Yummy! Needless to say, it made international news.

This just in....... All Nippon Airlines has just placed an order for 50 brand new Boeing 7E7 Dreamliners.


Now the pilots will sleep in comfort and have an all new state-of-the-art auto-pilot.

Don't be too hard on the guy, he was probably just sleeping off all the drinks. It was really in everyone's best interest.

All those late nights in karaoke bars catch up to you after awhile, I guess.

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