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April 27, 2004


Need a slightly used dress?

(Thanks to Claire Martin)


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Who is she, Popeye? Look at that arm?

Can't imagine why this guy is divorced.

Congrats on your first post Garret:)

Key quote from article:

It’s also the first time I’ve been inside something feminine that didn’t nag me to take out the garbage.

Ya gotta read the whole ad!!! Having been divorced myself, the guy's comments are priceless......which leads me to do this.....

Ad on Ebay: $10

Proceeds from ex-wife's wedding dress sale: $305 (and counting)

Marraige proposals from viewers of an Ebay ad: Priceless

I wonder if this is the same guy who was selling his ex-wife's beanie babies a few months ago? Actually, he doesn't sound that extreme.

Folks, you owe it to yourself to skip down and read the entire thing about the dress.

Another key quote: "Don’t worry ladies - I am wearing clothes on underneath it.  "

Now that's damn funny. And what is with those poor, desperate women offering marriage to a man who will be wearing a toe tag before he makes the march down the aisle again??

Rats- the beanie baby link is now invalid. Oh well. Anyone else remember him?

I remember the guy, pixie. I wonder if he got any marriage proposals from his ad?

Am I the only one here who feels sorry for the dude here?

This guy's about to get twice the hits. His link is posted here and on Fark. Hope someone pays up for that frilly nightmare of a dress.

Wow. This guy's site got 1480 hits between 2:15 and 2:16 EDT. This blog can sure drive in the traffic!

Found it! www.nomarriage.com/ebay.html They ended up selling for $860.

LOL, I love this guy's sense of humor.
"This thing has taken more hits than that pothead that lives in the next building."
"Thanks to each and every one of you from the heart of my bottom."

I remember the Beanie Baby guy too. He was a trucker looking for beer money. The best part was him posting emails from collectors challenging him that they were counterfeits.

The cynic in me wonders if this kind of thing is fake: A very clever wedding dress wholesaler perhaps? But I guess like Dave says, you can't make this stuff up.

danbertThis link was also posted on Fark.com. I'm afraid to say it but I think that site gets more action than this one. This one is way better, though.

Good job pixie! gfunk, yes I do feel sorry for the guy. I would have probably burned the dress though. That's satisfaction that money can't buy.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think we've found the next Dave Barry. The guy's writing cracked me up more than the pics!

I thought this gy's remarks were funny and insightful, and I just invited him to stop by our little blog and espouse on whatever. (Espouse means comment, not marry.)

Graz, took your advice and that's one of the few times I've read an Ebay item all the way through :-)

Pixie, one of the other times was the one you found ;-)

mudstuffin, I agree! He's got a well-honed wit to be a potential Bloglit!

With him on the toe-tag, though I've never been, never will be, and there's only room for one on the slab.

Ditto on the beanie baby guy...there was a certain similarity to their styles.

I have to admit I am also completely baffled by womens sizes (not to mention feminine logic). Does size 12 mean he was wedded to Shamu or what? A woman who could fill that tent could probably whip her weight in pit bulls.

Funny stuff, whether true or not. I have a friend in the Northwest who could have written this after his first marriage, except he has remarried and has a couple of kids now.

I do remember the Beanie Babies guy and how exasperated he got at these people who kept writing him for details, provenance, etc. when he was just trying to make a few bucks.

Favorite lines: "Oh, yeah. I also got three marriage proposals. Yes, you read it right - three marriage proposals. I feel like one of those mass murderers on death row. I never understood how the hell they got more chicks than I did. Now I know. They sold crap on eBay."

If that isn't the most incisive metaphor for the age we live in, you can shoot fireworks at my head!

And this: "All I know is, for my next wedding I will be wearing a hairy, flesh-toned ensemble because I will be buck naked with a toe tag lying on a slab in the morgue because I would have killed myself."

Just brilliant! (And Toe Tag wbagnfarb.) I love this guy.

Philintexas: Before Punky, MeL and the other women start taking your head off, size 12 does NOT mean he was married to Shamu! I believe 12 is the average woman's size in America, though the average size for actresses on television or in the movies is 2-4 at a guess.

You should all know that it turns out the beanie baby guy was a fake. A lot of the beanie babies *were* counterfeit, and the guy was actually happily married and had concocted the whole thing with his wife's assistance. Some reporter actually did a whole story on it.

Oh, no! Shysters on ebay? What is the world coming to?

Size 12 for a wedding dress is not that big. For reasons that allude me, the numbered sizes in wedding dresses do not match what a woman may wear in a regular dress. My wedding dress was a size 10. However, I weighed 105 lbs and wore a size 5 in a regular dress. I don't know who came up with this sinister sizing, but the last thing you want is to think you are gaining weight right before you get married.

i sold my ex wife's wedding dress on ebay last month and lied about what i originally paid for. i may be lieing now.

Ha...as if Punky and Mel could find me. I believe I am well hidden at 2325 Henderson Way, Apt. 225, Dallas, Texas. Jk ladies. So if size 12 is average... what would size 23 be? At what point do the sizes shift to Circus-1..2..3...etc?

philintexas clearly has a death wish. Ladies, let me know how the pummeling goes.

Daniel, thanks for the beanie debunking. I love BOTW and can't believe I missed that. So sad when a good story turns out to be too good to be true.

"Size 12 for a wedding dress is not that big."?? This guy does not look like he's exactly petite and he's wearing it.

mudstuffin: espouse does not mean "to comment." These days it typically means to become the proponent of a belief or cause ("Bob espoused the principles of the Quakers"), but in fact it also can mean to marry. From dictionary.com (first definition):

es·pouse ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-spouz)
tr.v. es·poused, es·pous·ing, es·pous·es

1. To take in marriage; marry.
2. To give (a woman) in marriage.
2. To give one's loyalty or support to (a cause, for example); adopt.

Russ, that's clever but not wise.

What did Russ link to? I can't get the page to come up.

Nothing will make a gal feel so pretty as walking down the aisle in a second hand dress sold on ebay with a hairy man posed in it!

Not to jinx anyone, but I think the next marriage that dress is involved in will not last thru the reception.


PhilinTexas, being from Dallas, I know where you live! Don't worry, I am in Nashville, but I sure think a lot more men ought to sell any "gotten" or "illgotten gains" from their previous marriages on EBay. I know a lot of guys who have gotten totally screwed in divorces and at least a few of them got away with at least their sense of humor! This guy and beanie baby guy were both hilarious! Maybe people could sell wedding licenses no longer being used. Personally, I burned mine, tho.

I, too, have always wondered about the insane number of women attracted to convicts on death row. Where's the desire for a long-term commitment women are so famous for?

He put our beloved Leader's face on the hairy guy. Darn near sacrilege, that.


I hope this guy does join the commenters here, but I hope that he let's us know who he is in his moniker.

Pogo says:
"Size 12 for a wedding dress is not that big."?? This guy does not look like he's exactly petite and he's wearing it.

Um, yeah, except it is not zipped. My 6'2" 240 lb. DH could probably fit in my size 8 wedding dress if he didn't zip it ('cept on mine, the arms would be way too tight). I was pretty tiny when I got married. Basically, if you leave the whole rear of the dress unzipped, it's like holding a towel over your front with some armholes. My Shamu SIL could put it on....as long as she didn't zip it.

I disagree with the hit counter. I'm no genius, but even I know that no website in the world gets 50+ hits per second.

In the world.

I always thought "Casella" sounded like the name of a pasta.

Mudstuffin, I think you meant "expound" rather than "espouse," possibly. Although that word doesn't really mean "comment" either (it means to explain in more detail), at least that's a closer match.

D'oh! and D'oh!

I think I meant "spout" as in "spout off", but I'm not sure anymore.

The voices are getting louder.

"Mudstuffin"--I'm sure you already know, and I don't mean any offense by this, because I did not create this one (the crossing guard at my school did)--anagrams to "muff dints." So please take your anger to him, if you have to shoot somebody.

I will say that it also anagrams to "dint muffs," though. I'll write you a nice check for $50 right now.

Never mind. I'm a jerk. Don't ever listen to anything I say. Except for that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.

And that.

I just got a call from "The Republican Party." I told him I was a Democrat, and laughed my arsenal off, and that's my excuse. Yes, I'm still a jerk, but I didn't inhale.

SMFTC wishes someone would write him a check for $50. Actually, SMFTC wishes he had something to sell on Ebay, and the sense of humor to go with it. If I were as clever of this guy, I could close my friend's website! I'm impressed, not to mention highly amused.

While we're here, why does it work sideways but not vertically? If I knew how to get free parking, I would.

I understand, Punky...we're so far away. Still, I'm determined to make this relationship work.

Rock 'n' roll's just rock 'n' roll.


Put another dime in the jukebox, baby.


"Actually I didn’t think my head would fit in the neck hole . . . Though, after looking at the pictures, I thought it made me look fat".

Finally! A man who understands!!!

Btw, a size 12 is only fat if you live in Ethiopia. In this country it is normal and healthy.

Update me--does anyone ever use that unofficial chat room anymore?

After visiting the chat room, for which I apparently still had the link, I have determined the answer to be: No, no one uses it.

However, it should be noted that, depending on one's screen name, one can surreptitiously force the banner at the top of one's window to state dirty things, such as, "Wild Orgy in the Lobby."

That is all.

Hey, Doug,

Unless he's manipulating the hit counter on the site, I think it might be possible to be getting that many hits per second...

He had about 300,000 hits in no more than 4 hours (I checked earlier and again just now). Divided out it equals about 20 hits per second...not 50 but still impressive...

Oh Punky...

[cue opening strains of "Bimba dagli occhi pieni di malia" from Madame Butterfly]

Halle Berry and I have a date with destiny.

I've shortened my name to plain 'Hung'.

i'm not me. really. dave.

A tripartite date? I don't know about this Destiny chick, but if Miss Berry's involved, things could get interesting.


Our friend needs to lose the size M haircut. A man with a mullet in a wedding dress is just wrong. Unless it's a man with a mullet in a wedding dress stepping into a heavily Bondo'd Camaro on blocks in the front yard.


You're probably hot, but, I DISAGREE!

Did anybody notice that philintexas's very last post was the one with his address. And that he lives in the same city as MeL. Who thinks throwing 186 pounds around is easy.

I'm gonna miss that guy...

What, don't tell me he had a sex change, did he? I'm not one to discriminate, but Dr. Phil is from Texas, let's remember.



Do you hear what I hear?

No. But I never liked Christmas music.


I scored 318, by the way. But you might as well throw out that score, because I'm also warding off an ant invasion with a Mitchum stick.

Good heck, I officially have the lowest score of anyone. I will bet money on that.

Cool...scored a 505! (Yes, my Hubby is a very happy man....)


Doug, I can only agree with your statement about rock if you exclude Mark Knopfler on guitar. That is more than rock, maybe even art.

OK fess up Dave - are you the one inside the wedding dress? This is just too good, too perfect, too Dave.

I've had enough beer to have trouble following this thread.

Does that mean I'm thread-bare?

And does That mean I've improved my score?!

His username is HorseplayPublishing. That gives it away. He is obviously experienced at humor writing, whoever he is.

Nope, eadn. It means your thrunk. ;-0

eadn- I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

Um....this is definitely a joke, considering the bidding is now at $11 million. No, wait. I refreshed the page. $13 million. And probably more soon.

Houston, we've hit $99,999,999.00

As of 11:35 pm, the price is US $99,999,795.00, it goes up every time that I refresh the page.
If this is not a joke, I will be completely shocked (and a little saddened)

Phil you're only about 2 hours away from me...be scared! ;)

My friend's mom is getting married, she wears a size 4 regulary but had to get a size 8 or 10 in wedding dresses.

Hmmm. Some of the top bidders have retracted. But it's still at $99,001,367.00!

Ah, the wonderful world of clothing sizes. They make us feel good, they make us feel bad, or we don't give a crap until there's a hassle to find something that fits - all just another way to drive the masses insane.

It sounds like he really did want to sell the dress, and some people just came and disrupted the bidding.

A good discussion about the "farked-up" bidding war is going on here.

Yes, I have been sitting here refreshing the eBay site for over an hour. I have no life.

This sucks.

The guy has a sence of humor and just wants to sell the dress, I think, and some lowlifes are screwing with the bid.

But if he gets that much, there's a cute little dress at the Goodwill Store with my name all over it.

I get it now, he has a sence of humor, not cents!

I'd joke that you've got a thing for guys in dresses, danbert, but I'm guilty of multiple refreshings too.
Perhaps having a sense of humor wins out over having a life.

Bangi is 12 hours ahead of me or there abouts so where she is, it is about 1:40 p.m.

apparently the guy was on an nbc news program this morning.

I'm 14 hours ahead of toronto,that's all i know.the day saving thing u guys have is irritating.and so r the ackstreet boys.

Lee-I refuse to disclose my score which is so pathetically low that i suffered an inferiority complex for weeks.*hangs head in shame*
The trouble with the test is that it requires u to have actually done things--in real life.now if the test was '" How kinky r u on the net"...i'd have done really well.
the test is wrong.so thr!!!

270. Might have been higher in my college days, but married life has toned me down a bit.

it's true, a size 12 wedding dress isn't that big. i just ordered my very own size 12 wedding dress. normally i wear an 8 (unless i shop at banana rep, in which case i'm a 4!). my bridesmaids are having the same crisis with their dresses. my measurements are 32/28/36. see? not that big.

Bangi, I'm with you on this one. I had an awful score, purely from not having done this stuff yet.

Wow, just an update, this guy is getting about 20,000 hits every minute. And he's going to be on the Today show. I really wonder if he intended this, or if it was an accident, or if we'll ever really know.

Dang it. I submitted this link early yesterday morning, and my credit has been robbed--robbed! I think Dave doesn't even look anymore. His prog just adds on to everything 'thanks to claire martin'


On the bright side, I think I may have concocted a brilliant fate for this prom dress in my closet...

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