WAIT, CANCEL THE TIE
Dad actually wants this.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
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March 30, 2004
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Hey this looks like fun, but how do Australian dollars exchange for AMerican currency? I don't think that I could get $17,500AUD. So it is between the $19.99 tie for dad and the pricey Aussie underwater SeaDoo....
Posted by: Jessica | March 30, 2004 at 05:43 AM
Yeah, Dave but does she come with it? No wonder Dad wants it!
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | March 30, 2004 at 05:44 AM
There's some pretty cool other stuff on the left but you'll need the divorce prediction software first if you're thinking about actually buying any of it.
Posted by: steve | March 30, 2004 at 05:48 AM
It doesn't look like it will float.
Posted by: bret | March 30, 2004 at 05:56 AM
Was this invented by "Q"?
Posted by: BMX3 | March 30, 2004 at 05:59 AM
And he might also like the odd device device she's sitting in/on.
Posted by: Query Meister | March 30, 2004 at 06:05 AM
And he might also like the odd device she's sitting in/on.
Posted by: Query Meister | March 30, 2004 at 06:06 AM
Change that tank out to nitrous oxide and these things will be as much fun out of the water as in.
Posted by: nouti | March 30, 2004 at 06:29 AM
Now we're going to have to start building underwater highways and "no vehicals allowed" zones to keep scuba divers from getting run over.
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:31 AM
I'd rent one! Very cool.
Posted by: Colorina | March 30, 2004 at 06:34 AM
Scootypuff Juniors suuuucccckkkkk.....(winks out of existance)
Posted by: mike | March 30, 2004 at 06:37 AM
Wow, you can get one for the bargain price of only $13,184.60 (USD)!
Okay fine, that is the same price that it quotes, I just converted it.
Posted by: Kalyani | March 30, 2004 at 07:02 AM
Yeah, for US$13K, Dad can buy his own. And loan it me.
Though it doesn't look like either of us would fit into the thing, given that we're both fully-grown adult males. Maybe you'd have to go to the Big n' Tall Scubadoo Shop.
Posted by: cuzn ed | March 30, 2004 at 07:53 AM
Sorry, there's some definite deal-breakers listed under "What Valerie will NOT be able to do." I mean for 59 grand...
Posted by: cuzn ed | March 30, 2004 at 08:12 AM
What I'm wondering is how the android is supposed to know what "wash" means. Especially as it means different a completely different set of operations for cookware vs. windows vs. clothes.
Posted by: OtherDave | March 30, 2004 at 08:16 AM
Chris Willis (inventor of the Valerie prototype):
I invented an android maid, she looks like a manequin from Filenes, she'll be able to clean, talk and perform other functions as necessary
Chris' wife: Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?
Posted by: surfbunny | March 30, 2004 at 08:22 AM
Since I am one of those "Harley Guys" Dave wrote about years ago (loud revving of the engine for the simple pleasure of doing so), I wonder if it comes with a REALLY loud engine? Can I retrofit my Harley? Instead of Sturgis we'll go to Atlantis! Hell's Minnows!
Posted by: Scott Eldredge | March 30, 2004 at 08:22 AM
Uh oh, I've found where Valerie's programming instructions will fail when it comes to my wife:
Case 14 Step 2: If you have not learned where the dirty clothes are deposited for washing, then learn where the dirty clothes are deposited for washing.
I've been trying to teach her THAT for years.
Posted by: OtherDave | March 30, 2004 at 08:29 AM
Yeah, 'cause the *first* thing she'd have to learn is how to step over the clothes that have been, er, deposited for washing.
Posted by: cuzn ed | March 30, 2004 at 08:32 AM
From the creator of Valerie:
"We’re confident we can do better than has been done previously. We think a lot of people have had a lot of problems because they don’t have a lot of movement in the pelvis region."
Tell me about it.....
Posted by: mike | March 30, 2004 at 08:36 AM
So why does the android have to wear high heels if they are having trouble with bi-pedal movement? I know lots of women who can't walk in high heels and they are HUMAN!
Posted by: Elaine | March 30, 2004 at 08:59 AM
Interesting that they felt the need to speicify "cannot take water or other liquids into her mouth" even though they had already said "cannot have sex." I guess for some people hope springs eternal.
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 08:59 AM
Hey, if Valerie can wash dishes and operate the vacuum, then it stands to reason that she has a functioning grip in at least one hand.
There's more than one way to skin a cat, fellas: just ask the above-referenced prez.
Posted by: cuzn ed | March 30, 2004 at 09:14 AM
Bit too far, huh? Gonna have to learn to post a little less impulsively...
Posted by: cuzn ed | March 30, 2004 at 09:16 AM
Not too far at all, cuzn ed, you'd given us a renewed hope. What will swing it in the balance is if they'll shut up when you tell them to.
Posted by: steve | March 30, 2004 at 09:18 AM
Nice catch OtherDave!
Ladies, I'm wondering about the idea of "acceptable other woman"? I mean she doesn't do sex, but would free our time for such pursuits (not to mention being reasonably decent eye candy for an android ;-)
Gentlemen, why do I fear that I just stepped in it so deep Hell would have more mercy?!
Posted by: eadn | March 30, 2004 at 11:24 AM
Dave, Scott Eldredge and his retrofitting gave me the thought that that headpiece on the Seadoo might make a good "cone of silence" next time you're at the airport.
Posted by: eadn | March 30, 2004 at 11:28 AM
Punky: Yes, we do. Yup. Sure do.
Posted by: OtherDave | March 30, 2004 at 11:40 AM
Does anyone know if the Valerie site is actually serious? I'm just asking because I remember an Outer Limits (kind of like a more modern Twilight Zone, but not as good) episode about something remarkably similar, also named Valerie. That, the high heels thing, and the fact that I go to a school famous for its AI research and have not yet heard of this, really make me wonder.
Posted by: V-Square | March 30, 2004 at 12:41 PM
Now it's only a matter of time before Robbie Kneivel tries to jump the Marianas Trench.
Posted by: Lmd33 | March 30, 2004 at 01:29 PM
Don't bother buying this. I rode one in Nassau on vacation for $60. It goes REAL SLOW.
Posted by: Melissa | March 30, 2004 at 01:54 PM
Late-to-the-gate here again...thanks for saving me a seat ;-)
Lady Punky, every time you expose one more adorably quirky aspect of yourself...MMMPH!!!! I'd even be willing to let you have an android studmuffin of your choice provided he could go outside and do the yardwork!
Sweet MeL, that young boy just opened his first copy of Hustler :-) (no reference or offence to You whatsoever Alex! *peace in advance of an unintended misinterpretation*)
Posted by: eadn | March 30, 2004 at 01:56 PM
You're Welcome and Thank You for the smooch, Lovely Lass! I would say more, but I figure.... ;-)
Posted by: eadn | March 30, 2004 at 02:53 PM
Is it just me, or does it look like her head is not actually attached to her body?
Posted by: dctrkim007 | March 31, 2004 at 08:30 AM
That's to ensure that her head stays dry, a requirement that seems to have been extremely important to the designer. Unfortunately, the need to remove one's head in order to keep it dry is likely to limit the number of repeat purchasers.
Posted by: OtherDave | March 31, 2004 at 09:43 AM