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March 31, 2004



(Thanks to Bob Coller)


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FIX that Link, Dave!!!!! sheesh

With this and the gay penguins story, President Bush must be going absolutly nuts.

Damn those activist judges!

Does this mean Demba can play football in Mexico?

Wait just a second . . .
This still doesn't clear things up. Is Chaka still leaving? If so where? and who's he gonna live with? I only suppose that Demba is now staying in Philadelphia with two "new" chicks or females already there. This is important dammit!!!

I'm calling the zoo . . . and the commissioner . . . and, hell, the mayor, the governor and the cops

Hey, I went back to the original story and they seem to have altered it to remove the part about Chaka going to live with the females. Can newspeople do this? Can they just "revise" their past reporting at their whim? Can they report something like "John Kerry is a Polygamist", and when someone complains they can excise it from their site and say "We never said that!"?

John Kerry a Polygamist? I never posted a comment saying that! You must be confused...

What it is right above this post?! Damn....

"...and in other news, Miami-based humor columnist Dave Barry reported today that presidential contender John Kerry is a polyagmist."

"Barry claims that he discovered this fact first-hand when Kerry and his wife invited him over for a nice cup of tea, after which the couple started making advances upon him..."

What's a "polyagmist"?

Will it raise my taxes?

Apparently Mr. Roper discovered Chaka wasn't gay after all.

"...and in other news, the Philadelphia Zoo announced today that it was abandoning its plan to move a bachelor male guerilla into a housing arrangement with two female roommates. This change was apparently on behalf of one of the females primates who felt "insulted by constantly being compared to Susanne Somers." We return now to our obsessive coverage of the ongoing John Kerry polygamy scandal..."

Wow, glad you cleared that up. I was concerned.

Anyway, on the other issue, I think the image you're looking for is "sheep" rather than "untrained (or trained) cattle." Baaa.

thanks alex, but i already knew about polygamy, and had read extensively on its tax implications in such works as Malthus's "Essay on the Principle of Population" and Erlich's less known follow-up to "The Population Bomb", "Polygamist's - What a Bunch of Bastards"

I wanted to know about these "polyagmists" that mike referred to.

But this is way too much work on a typo. Please explain dark matter and its relationship to wheat prices in Guam instead.

They prefer having one or more agmists. I don't see what's so difficult about the concept. Sheesh.

Almost right, Alex, but it takes an Anthro class to clear these matters up:
Polygamy: having two or more spouses at once (breaks off into the following categories:)
Polygyny: multiple wives
Polyandry: multiple husbands

I needed voice inflections for that last post, so you could rightly tell just how useful I think anthropology classes are.

Ah, but this is an article for anthro people! Let's leave them alone to, ahem, play with their monkeys.

do you mean spank their monkeys, tw?

just want to clarify here.

Aaaah, what disturbing images you have produced in my mind, Punky!
spank, fornicate; what's the difference?

sorry, tw.

I get carried away sometimes.

Feel free to smack me when I get too crazy.

No, no smacking! It reminds me of the spanking!
Must get crazy anthropologists out of head...
it's not your fault, Punky, I'm too twisted already.

Why not let the women decide? What about if some wome prefer to share one alpha male than being the only one for a loser?

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