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March 31, 2004


We're guessing that the hamster turned them in.


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First to post, like the untrained cattle that I am. Moo.

Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches...

No, wait, that's just wrong.

"Peaches, the name given after her rescue, "is very happy to be alive""

How do they know this???? Do they talk to her? If so, why didn't they just ask her what her REAL name is, instead of renaming her.

I'm suspecting there are some inconsistencies in this story..

perhaps the skinny snake was on the atkins diet?

I have heard that hamsters are VERY low in carbs. That's why I eat at least two a day. Mmmmmmmmm....hamsters....

"The animals were seized by the Humane Society and Waynesville police..."

Wait--when did the Humane Society become a law enforcement organization with the power to sieze things? Do I have to worry about the National Arbor Day Foundation raiding my home on the suspicion that I've forgotten to water the banzai tree?

"Going back 20 years or more, we can't recall a snake rescue of this type," Hill said."

The fact that they've got 20 'or more' years of snake rescues is a perfect reason for me to never, ever go to Waynesville, Mo.

What about negligence for overfeeding pets? Have you ever seen those superfat cats that weigh 45 pounds? Such as mine? Or those ugly birds people keep? And those rats? They're ALWAYS overweight. Jeeg, talk about criminals. And these people are urban professional types, too. This just proves you can't trust anybody not named Alfred Matthew Yankovic.

How come you never hear about the Humane Society and Police teaming up to rescue 43,000 cockroaches who were about to suffer chemical death in a trailer near Atlanta?

What gives, ya gotta be fuzzy snake food to warrant a daring rescue?

"The rescued cockroaches were extremely happy to be alive. We've named them 'Tim'..."

Yo, I gots a snake you can rescue right here!

"Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free."


Did it occur to the humane society, before they trod on the fundamental right to starve your snake, that many snakes actually don't eat much during the winter, and do lose a lot of weight, and will - if kept in a cooler environment - partially hibernate? Not that I treat mine that way, mind you, so there is no need to send them to my place. And that high electric bill is just from all the heat lamps on the snakes...

Of course, my 14 foot burmese python just ate the neighbor's poodle, but he gets along fine with the hamster that lives with him.

I bet that hamster committed *suicide* after being named Peaches.
snakes are alluring--but punky,i cant imagine feeding a snake to be that attractive.eww.
I feel compelled to tell all of u that the original language the bible was written in ( and which i cant remember),referred to a "hisser" and not a snake.well,at least that's what i heard, i think.
never mind.

Why are some people allowed to own pets? The snakes should have eaten their moron owner!

Isn't Peaches the Hamster the official mascot of Your Mother, the Mexican football team?

On, no, wait; that's Bananas the Gerbil.

TM, you seem to be a bit hung up on Your Mother.

You're right, elfbrains, I am completely hung up on Your Mother. I dream about Your Mother constantly, and wish I could sleep with Your Mother by my side, especially after a long, sweaty football game. I often fantasize about showering with Your Mother, though I don't think Your Mother and I could fit in the shower together. Ooh, the thought of Your Mother just warms the cockles of my heart!

(I really hope everyone has read the relevant post, or I may be in a quite odd predicament here.)

Even i dont dream about a whole football team,...at the same time,and im well...im me.

Bangladeshi, you're right...I definitely need help. After all, I said 'cockles.'

I actually run a hamster restaurant, featuring a range of utterly delicious dishes made from our furry friends... It's cordon-bleu cuisine and very popular!!! Come visit - i'll give you all a discount!

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