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March 31, 2004


And they wonder why stay-at-home moms get a little grumpy sometimes.

(Thanks to Bob Coller)


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They also have one loaded up with "Copacabana."

"The actual sound used is a recording of a baby's scream played backwards."

If you actually listen to a baby screaming backwards and turn the speed down, you'll see it's actually invoking SATAN!!!!

They said they tested this gun on volunteers. Where you would find someone to sign up for that is beyond me!

Oh! Oh! I have one!

Could the smaller hand-sized version be used at offensive cell-phone users?

You know, it wasn't a good idea for a new father to read that article.

Anybody wanna babysit a little girl for the next few years?

"They would have to come out, and they probably would come out with their hands over their ears."

Continues on, "And then we'll shoot the suckers!"
Laughs maniacally with a gleam in his eyes. This man cannot have too many ways to torture.

Brad (from SMFTC): They're in the Army.

Then how do you explain my cousin Karen being so serene when she has 12 (count 'em) kids? I know, she drugs them into insensibility.

this is a joke, right?

it isn't in mainstream media.

if this is where warfare is headed, we DEFINITELY need more women in charge of things. because there are even worse visceral experiences that could be utilized.

This just in, President Bush has added Canada, Mexico and "most of those European bastards" to the Axis of Evil upon learning that they have in their possession, or intend to start programs that could create, ear plugs.

No peaceful nation would need such things.

Punky, unfortunately, Karen lives in Jerusalem (which is probably why she needs the drugs) so don't have the #. But trust me, she is serene.

causes the skull to vibrate?!


But how would they break up a riot at Toys BackwardsR Us? Everybody would either be used to it or join in.

HA! the american army spent 15 yrs and jillions of dollars to produce the same effect that i've been able to produce just by singing.

kat -- While not quite a joke, the article is certainly an exaggeration. If you check out ATC's Web site at www.atcsd.com, you'll see they are planning it mostly as a targeted loudspeaker to talk/warn/direct people from 300 yards away.

I think that is even worse. How strange would it be to be addressed by a disembodied voice that no one else in the mob can hear? Just you and the other schizoaffectives...

Isn't technology great! The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator can't be too far behind. But what about flying cars! We are supposed to have flying cars by now!

I claim this blog in the name of Mars!

My first thought when I read the article was what the crap... but then I believed it because I worked at a daycare last summer in the infant room. Me and five screaming babies... nine hours a day. Sometimes someone else would work with me if we had more kids. Then we could have 12 screaming babies at one time. One was colicky (I know it doesn't look like it's spelled right, but it is.) I swear to you, every single day I had to have someone give me a pep talk at lunch just to go back inside for the rest of the day. I am getting a migraine as I think about it now...


Hmm. Kind of like Monsters Inc. before they discover that laughter is better.

But are they toxic?

Believe it or not, I have seen something similar to this...the Discovery Channel (US) did a piece on a device that generates an ultra-loud "screech" that instantly causes pain and disorientation...and it's directional! From behind the unit, you can't hear anything (but you still need ear protection, just in case). It's pretty similar to the device described in the article.

Of course, the Pentagon's not gonna take it seriously...if it doesn't fire bullets or cause huge explosions, they don't want to spend boatloads of our bucks on it.

I suggest that Daves Bands next album should be called

"Acoustical Heterodyning"

I am a stay-at-home mom. I think that this would be an effective weapon, but I think that it should have an enhancement feature where the guy shooting the gun could push a button and add the "after school,hungry, fighting, crying, whining battle of three sibs before dinner" noise. That would cause not only permanent hearing damage, but also cause the enemies to tear out their hair and surrender while screaming out "OK I am fixing dinner RIGHT NOW."

this is a joke, right?
it isn't in mainstream media.

I guess ABC isn't exactly mainstream, but it's pretty close. I saw articles about that all over. Just search "sonic bullets."

They should try and get the wail of the banshee.


"Sonic bullets" are legitimate weapons being researched, but they use extremely low frequency sound waves and target the midsection of the victim.

This causes severe vibration of the victim's internal organs, and makes them basically puke AND loose bowel control at the same time.

It is supposed to break up riots.

I say that the riots are a much better idea.

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