LITERARY SURPRISE
This is NOT by Monica Lewinksy.
(Thanks to Patrick Patterson)
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March 29, 2004
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Has anyone found the recipe for the Cookies of Mass Destruction? I can't seem to find them ANYWHERE......
Posted by: mike | March 29, 2004 at 11:45 AM
Okay, now I seriously defy anyone to say again that judi isn't funny.
Posted by: elfbrains | March 29, 2004 at 11:48 AM
What ever you do, don't try the macaroons.
Posted by: Graz | March 29, 2004 at 12:19 PM
Who wants to bet that the "chocolate chip cookies" brought to President Reagan had a little....um, "sedative" slipped in as well?
I, personally, would like to try "Richard Nixon's Macadamia Nut I Am Not a Crookies".
Posted by: Anji | March 29, 2004 at 12:24 PM
You know, Graz, my grandma makes really good macaroons...
You might have just ruined them for me...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 29, 2004 at 12:38 PM
you should see all the other useless stuff they have at the www.whitehouse.gov
I work for a presidential appointee right around the corner from the White House. ughhh.... I thought for a second that my boss had got to you too...
Posted by: Mona Lisa | March 29, 2004 at 12:46 PM
I have this book and it's great. here are some recipes from the most recent presidents...
Watergate Surprise Cookies -- Even though these cookies would have turned out just fine -- by a wide margin, I might add -- the President just has to throw a little extra something in each cookie and that's where the recipe goes wrong. They go surprising well with Chinese Fortune Cookies though. People take two of these cookies but can't make it through the second one.
Shortbread - Pretty run-of-the-mill and dull -- nothing exciting, but nothing terribly bad about them. They don't last long, but they're good when you don't finish your second Watergate Surprise Cookie but before having a Peanut Puff.
Peanut Puffs - These sound like they'd be great when you read the ingredients, but in reality they really don't do much of anything for you but make a big mess. They're actually pretty good as leftovers though.
Layer Cookies - Most of the lower layers of these cookies could use a little something more -- that's why the top layer is so incredibly rich, so that some of the excess ingredients trickle down through the other layers, making them just a little bit better than they were.
Lemon Cookies - The ingredients of these cookies promise a lot, but they're really not all that interesting. If you're what you'll pay for them won't increase at all, don't believe it.
Sugary Cut-outs - Use this recipe to create cut-out shape cookies that are syrupy sweet and look really good to everyone. Recommended shapes include cigars, girls' dresses, and a silouette of a girl on her knees, ummm, praying, maybe. They're little better than average cookies, but for some reason a majority of people come back for seconds anyway and some people think they're much better than they really are.
Half-Baked Cookies -- If you don't like No-Bake cookies, try these half-baked cookies instead. While pretty shallow in substance, these cookies are pretty good when you need a solid cookie to get you through a tough time. Afterwards though, you'll get pretty tired of them and be hoping that something better will come along.
And, on recipe that almost made it into this book...
Tennessee Drop Cookies -- Although they're from Tennessee, a majority of people from Tennessee actually don't like them, at least not anymore. If they were just a little less harsh, maybe enough people in Florida would have liked them that they'd have made it into the book -- who knows.
Posted by: B-Man | March 29, 2004 at 12:56 PM
B-Man = just totally made me look unfunny.
Way to go, dude! :-)
Posted by: Anji | March 29, 2004 at 01:05 PM
gfunk...just glad to know I have an effect in the wotld.
Posted by: Graz | March 29, 2004 at 01:12 PM
"Taste the Presidential Experience" . . . ewwww. Poor ol' Monica, sticking her tongue in the seat of power. Bleargh.
Posted by: Gretchen C. | March 29, 2004 at 01:37 PM
judi, your humor is deliciously wicked as always! :-)
And B-Man, as posts judi, so have You written a cookie of a column for Dave! Perhaps he'll offer you a "spiced" brownie to print your recipes for his next word from the witty!
Saves him time to stand in the pizza line and is a hoot to boot!
Posted by: eadn | March 29, 2004 at 03:13 PM
Wow -- thanks for the compliments.
I took a look at this blog for the first time a few days ago. It's incredible how many strange things you all find.
Posted by: B-Man | March 29, 2004 at 03:16 PM
"Presidential cookies" sounds like something the Commander in Chief would enable in his Web browser in order to enhance the Presidential Web surfing experience.
I think dinner's ready now.
Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 29, 2004 at 04:45 PM
Can we not all agree that "Presidential Cookies" would be a good name for a band?
Posted by: Darthdemona | March 29, 2004 at 06:09 PM
taste the WHAT?
No i DONT want his cookies thank u very much!
Posted by: Bangladeshi_gurl | March 30, 2004 at 03:04 AM
Punky-u and i definitly have psychic connections.
handcuffs ;)!!!
Posted by: Bangladeshi_gurl | March 30, 2004 at 03:06 AM
Yeah, Bangi-Gurl, I think we do! :)
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 03:45 AM
I'm sure the recipies are all tasty, but do the cookies stay crispy in sulfuric acid?
Posted by: c00kie | March 30, 2004 at 07:15 AM