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March 28, 2004

IMPORTANT, DISGUSTING MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH

This blog's good friend Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post has the story.

(You may have to register. This blog hates registration sites and usually doesn't link to them, but this blog loves Gene, and the story is really disgusting.)

(Thanks to Anne Morton August)

Comments

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Has there ever been a better name for a rock band than "Dr. Aas and his Poop Transplant Method"?

So, the phrase, once made popular by angry teens everywhere:

"Eat [flora] and die"

has now been updated.

"Eat [flora] and live happily ever after."

I see. It's a compliment now. OK then. I think I'll use it the next time one of those nice tele-marketers call.

This article is a much more effective dieting aid than any low carb diet.

Remeber to never use Dr. Aas' blender.

"Me: In this particular organ transplant, who are the donors?
Dr. Aas: Most of the time, a loved one.
Me: I can imagine."

This is the most hilarious article I´ve been reading on this rainy mellow sunday afternoon. Yet.

Doc:U have Clostridium difficile colitis
Patient: Oh sh|t!
Doc:I see u r familiar with the treatment

First of all, I like how Dr. Aas's name is dangerously close to Dr. Ass. Secondly, Dave Barry, I would donate my poop for you anytime.

I'm not sure I'd ever donate to someone I knew. How awkward would THAT make the relationship from that point forward?

"Hey, Bob"
"Hi Joe"
"So, umm....how's the colorectal bacteria working out for you?"
"Fine, thanks."
"...."
"Um...so, I'm going to go stand over there now."


Patient: Ugh! This medicine tastes like sh*t!

Doctor Ass: Correct!

When you've shared that particular "gift", (and I use the term loosely) what's left?

Yes, it's the ultimate experience in sharing with another. I can see couples lining up now to take their relationship to that next step...

Also, I'm glad that they cleared up the name pronunciation thing. I was wondering.

Patient: Ugh! This medicine tastes like sh*t!

Doctor Ass: Correct! You were a quart low.

How did you avoid saying "Gene has the poop"?

Aas is not only dangerously close to ass, llamapyjamas, it is actually a German word meaning 'carrion'. A nice name for a MD, inspiring confidence and whatnot.

My loved one and I have a prenuptial agreement, Doc. She keeps her shit and I keep mine. I guess we'll never have our shit together.

Dave, I discovered a long time ago that you can get to Gene's articles through your "Gene W."s columns" link WITHOUT having to register with the Washington Post(whose motto is: Give us your first born child and MAYBE we will let you read our newspaper online)

Pass. Only the medical profession has played with my butt, and it sure as hell wasn't just for casual research!

Punky, that clear up your confusion yesterday?

I grew up in a rural town in Central Illinois. Our doctor's name was Dr. Harm. Dr. Manivald Harm. I think he was from Romania or someplace like that. Needless to say I never wanted to turn my head and cough for him.

hey, waitaminnit! Wasn't this in a MASH episode, once?

Dave, you're right, that was truly disgusting, and now I don't need Dr. Atkins to lose weight, as I'm going to puke up my guts. Thanks for the service.

My mum actually knew a doctor whose name was Dr. Death (rhymes with "heath"). He actually changed his name to "Deeth" eventually.

If you had C. Difficile you would welcome ANY treatment, even this blenderized poop. C.Dif has driven many person to distraction, and, as a Psychiatrist, I should know.

The EB. No, I'm not ever going to get that, ever.

How about they try the blenderized Goldfish from the other bolg post...

Anybody else appreciate the fact that the doctor from down under did the transplant from down under?

Speaking of our funny boy, Gene ... did anyone else read "I'm With Stupid" by Gene W(noideahowtospellhislastname)and Gina Barecca?

Damn funny. If you haven't read it, I recommend picking it up. And then reading it. Good stuff.

When I'm at my folks' place, my primary care physician is Dr. Love. I [flora] you not.

Medical Irony:

Cost of administering this remedy as an outpatient at your healthcare physician--$5.00 deductible
Cost of purchasing a Flora-tini at the trendiest Miami Beach nightclub--$12.50

I'll leave it to the masses to come up with an appropriate garnish

Medical Irony:

Cost to administer this remedy as an outpatient at your personal physician--$5.00 deductible
Cost of a Flora-tini at the trendiest Miami Beach nightclub--$12.50

I'll leave it to the masses to come up with an apropriate garnish.

Old news. Members of the gay male community have been performing these transplants for centuries, before going shopping for drapes.

it would have to be a loved one. no one else would give a sh*t.

Ok, this comment thread has officially gotten more disgusting than the story...

(Cause I'm, y'know, 'official'. :-)

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