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March 30, 2004

HOW FLATTERING

This news item was sent specifically to the Stealth Bloggerette from many an alert reader. So we're assuming either many people think the Stealth Bloggerette is a woman of great experience, or they think she should increase her intelligence. Either way, we win.

Comments

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...then how do you explain college students?

It looks like the endorphin/seratonin rush occurs as a result of orgasm...no mention as to how you get to that point...

um.

yeah.

anyway.

I knew studying was a waste of time. If only I had had research like this to back me up years ago! (like that would have helped)

So, does that mean masturbation can now be considered "studying"?

I wonder if I can get a student loan for that...

Sure, T.M.! "I'm boning up for my exams."

I feel dumb today
I think I will have some sex
There! I'm smart again!

I think I like this
(in, out, in, out, in, out, done)
I. Q. hits the roof

Tomorrow's man, what good is a diploma if you can't see to read it?

Then how do you explain blondes?

I am not fully accepting of this research. I shall need to have several double-blind, and even fully-sighted tests to ensure the integrity of this hypothesis.

Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about this?

Ernie, as long as I keep my hands well-shaved I'll be able to read braille!

Hey...why do one's palms allegedly get hairy from too much masturbation and not the fingers? I have to say, for the record, they're quite instrumental to the process. Mine should have looked like five little members of ZZ Top by now.

Shepherds are not too swift.

Just a thought.

I'm now a genius
See? e = mc2
But my prick fell off :(

As reported in the Unicum Campus!, Uni-CUM????? These studies may be biased.

Tomorrow's Man: You question reminded me of a hilarious routine by comedian Robert Schimmel. He's talking about various sex aids, including one advertised as "use this cream and your dick gets bigger!" He asks, "wouldn't your hand get bigger? You're walking around with one Mickey Mouse hand. 'Hi Bob, I didn't know you were a lefty.'"

Imagine sororities without this!

Another opportunity for pay-per-view punkyvision?

Hey, I was just wanting a subscription - I think the originators were punky and eadn (or alex?).

And, sadly, not as well as I'd like!

Oops, misread your response. Sounds like one of those "priceless" things to me.

Wow. You folks are out of control. Again.

Popsicles?! Good God...

God only knows. I was as prepared as could be expected, so we'll find out...

I mean...POPSICLES?! I can't get over it!

I thought my ability to be horrified was lost in middle school.

Creamsicles have a whole new meaning to me now.

But yet I have a sort of grudging admiration for rita...

She DID, didn't she?! So, Punky, want to change your story about not starting it, young lady?!

you'd better start fessing up...

So sex gets you high, gives you a good workout, and even makes you smarter. Now all I gotta do is find a well-rounded meal and I'm good to go! (or should that be come?! ;-)

Punky, I think you've been replaced as Dave's Royal Grand Poo-Bah of Blog Debauchery.

Mel, I'm gonna call shenanigans on that...

Don't believe you for a second...

Naive...maybe.

But probably not.

Wow, Baylink, which word did you Google to find that link? :)

Thanks. Punky. And rita IS right, you know, the young'uns aren't nearly as hip as they might like to think. Did'ja ever notice how uptight they can be? Come to think of it, did'ja ever notice that they rarely use the term "uptight"?

Did'ja notice judi's popsicle was cherry? And, (I am not making this up) my last name is Cherry. There is a method to my madness. ;)

(Warning, link even slightly less safe for work than the rest of this thread. ;-)

And from the other end of the spectrum, proof that this story is accurate. Seen on a dating website as a descriptive caption to a picture:

"20f usf just moved here and looking for friends, i don't mess around or dumb shit like that but if you're cool then im down to kick it drop me k ttyl"

No comment.

But then, no comment is really necessary, is it?

And from the other end of the spectrum, proof that this story is accurate. Seen on a dating website as a descriptive caption to a picture:

"20f usf just moved here and looking for friends, i don't mess around or dumb shit like that but if you're cool then im down to kick it drop me k ttyl"

No comment.

But then, no comment is really necessary, is it?

And from the other end of the spectrum, proof that this story is accurate. Seen on a dating website as a descriptive caption to a picture:

"20f usf just moved here and looking for friends, i don't mess around or dumb shit like that but if you're cool then im down to kick it drop me k ttyl"

No comment.

But then, no comment is really necessary, is it?

>looks down at her popsicle. looks up at the post. looks down at her popsicle. swallows with some effort.

And from the other end of the spectrum, proof that this story is accurate. Seen on a dating website as a descriptive caption to a picture:

"20f usf just moved here and looking for friends, i don't mess around or dumb shit like that but if you're cool then im down to kick it drop me k ttyl"

No comment.

But then, no comment is really necessary, is it?

Whoa! From the looks of things, Elli is way too busy for this blog, but you have to admire her.. uh.. entrepreneural ambition. And her sense of humor.

Nicely put, Con.

And everyone, please pardon me.

I'm becoming insanely, homicidally, stick-a-cats-ass-on-the-fridge-with-a-magnet'ally frustrated with Moveable Type's clear inability to process comments correctly, even with caching turned completely off in my browser, unless I *shut the browser down* after every comment I post.

This negatively impacts my joy in participating approximately as the cube of the number of times it occurs.

Hopefully, someone can find the Herald's webmaster... before I do.

No worries, Baylink, I can name at least 2 other programs that do repeat postings. Even more if you count PHP based forum software. My cache is off too, and there are a couple of double posts here with my name on 'em, too.

Back to the popsicle thing. They can be used in very nice ways. Popsicles alternated witha hot drink, coffee...tea...toddys. Very good for sensation alternation. Note: Must be used orally.

And cough drops. This can be used on guys and girls.

Just trying to do my part in educating the blog masses.

Cough drops???? I don't ever get a cough THERE!

I need more details. Cherry or Menthol?

*pen poised over paper ... waiting for response*

Menthol, Punky. Must be in the mouth of the....ahhh....."provider". Then followed by hot drink, followed by cold drink, ect, ect, ect...until ...ahem....completion.

*scribble scribble scribble*

Thanks, Graz. I think I'll try that out tonight.

Anyone free???

Punky, that may be best left to an expert, being the initial trial and all. And I am an expert...

Well then expertly maneuver your cute little self on over here.

Whipped cream in a spray can is nice, but I'm sure you experts already knew that . . . And why can the popsicle only be used orally? Yeast infections, I guess.

Pixe. I think you did it. You left MeL and Me speechless.

I think you deserve some kind of award for that.

Perhaps a popsicle.

Ya'll seriously never thought of that?

yeah, you're not supposed to ummm... introduce anything with sugar.

So you get a diet popsicle? (I'm so going to Hell.)

No, no, pixie. I thought of that. I even KNOW that from, um, experience. I just can't believe you SAID it. :)

Come back, MeL.

We'll behave. Promise.

*fingers crossed behind back*

You girls need supervision. Seriously.

or medication. Either one.

perhaps both.

Sorry, MeL. I'll try to be satisfied with my current place in Hell, rather than trying to rise any higher (sink any lower?)

or a spicy helping of da gfunk.

I have no idea what that means.

I didn't get much sleep last night.

Spicy? We were talking about sugar . . .

but da gfunk is definately spicy-like.

Can't change da funk.

I apologize. Good Lord.

Ever read any Dante, Mel?

No, no, Mel. It's OK, dear. We'll all be together in Hell, like one big happy blog family.

Pixie, don't scare the little ones like that!

gfunk ... and you said WE needed to be medicated and/or supervised. Ha!

I just need to go to bed...

But miles to go before I sleep...

Come on out sweetie. Pixie was only kidding.

Ah ...

The woods are lovely, dark and deep ... But I have miles to go before I sleep.

So instead of studying for this philosophy test for 5 hours I could have just gone to the frat house down the street???

I apologize ;-)
gfunk, please don't change! we like you just the way you are.
MeL, don't worry! I wouldn't leave my fellow blogglits even if I could move in the highest/lowest levels of Hellish society.
Sniff . . . I sense another group hug . . .

wow. I'm on a streak. Two straight posts with literary references. I suck.

smart is sexy, gfunk.

don't let 'em tell you otherwise.

Don't worry about hell, according to a former friend of mine, I know a lot of great people going there, so it'll be one hell of a party.

thanks for the ego boost, Punky. I'm almost ready to start hitting on Natalie, here, since she's apparently looking for a frat boy.

Natalie, have you been reading the comments from a week or two ago? Some of us bloglings, like eadn, have condos in Hell! He's very kindly offered me a room, so I'll invite your friends to my parties, if you'll invite mine to yours.

I'll throw in a good word for ya, Gfunk.

Psst. Natalie. Gfunk wanted me to pass you this note.

check yes, no, or maybe so.

Oh, and smart is sexy, gfunk. If nothing else, it helps you avoid getting caught!

Not necessarily a frat guy, just any will do for now (serious guy shortage at my school)

sounds good pixie, can't wait!

although it's been stated about 5 times already, i have to agree with the sexy smartness

What school. I'm coming.

down in VA, come on down, bring friends, lots of friends

thanks Mel

Gfunk ... I'll help you pack. Don't forget the popsicles.

Natalie. Welcome to the family.

yay, thanks Punky

well, I'm just in NC. So I'd actually be coming up.

My sis went to UVA.

and you folks are going to have to provide your own popsicles.

I won't provide for other's debauchery. Even if it includes me.

Cool, my roomate is from Charlottesville

Cool, my roomate is from Charlottesville. I hate this &*$^%&@ test......

What could they test you on in philosophy? Just claim the test doesn't exist, and go from there.

It was a philosophy test, wasn't it?

You're so damn picky, gfunk.

Well kids, I'm going to let you continue your courting (Natalie, check YES, you won't be disappointed)

Parting is such sweet sorrow. I'm off to bed.

Yeah, the fun philosophical ramblings of Leibniz and Locke

I hear ya, Natalie. I have 10 papers/projects/presentations standing between me and the end of the semester. Not to mention final exams. Good luck tomorrow!

later, punky

g'nite Punky, and thanks pixie, same to you. I have..........5 tests......3 papers.....and 1 presentation left that I know about, plus finals. fun fun fun......i think I'm going to go shoot myself...

I think I'll follow Punky's lead. Good night all. And Natalie, gfunk, don't forget the whipped cream!

nevermind, who am I kidding? I'm in college, I don't have the money to buy a gun. Oh well, I think I'll just go to sleep instead

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