HOW FLATTERING
This news item was sent specifically to the Stealth Bloggerette from many an alert reader. So we're assuming either many people think the Stealth Bloggerette is a woman of great experience, or they think she should increase her intelligence. Either way, we win.
...then how do you explain college students?
Posted by: happy sharkie | March 30, 2004 at 09:48 AM
It looks like the endorphin/seratonin rush occurs as a result of orgasm...no mention as to how you get to that point...
um.
yeah.
anyway.
Posted by: surfbunny | March 30, 2004 at 09:53 AM
I knew studying was a waste of time. If only I had had research like this to back me up years ago! (like that would have helped)
Posted by: elfbrains | March 30, 2004 at 09:57 AM
So, does that mean masturbation can now be considered "studying"?
I wonder if I can get a student loan for that...
Posted by: Tomorrow's Man | March 30, 2004 at 09:59 AM
Sure, T.M.! "I'm boning up for my exams."
Posted by: stash | March 30, 2004 at 10:01 AM
I feel dumb today
I think I will have some sex
There! I'm smart again!
Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 30, 2004 at 10:05 AM
I think I like this
(in, out, in, out, in, out, done)
I. Q. hits the roof
Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 30, 2004 at 10:06 AM
Tomorrow's man, what good is a diploma if you can't see to read it?
Posted by: Ernie G | March 30, 2004 at 10:07 AM
Then how do you explain blondes?
Posted by: steve | March 30, 2004 at 10:21 AM
I am not fully accepting of this research. I shall need to have several double-blind, and even fully-sighted tests to ensure the integrity of this hypothesis.
Posted by: c00kie | March 30, 2004 at 10:25 AM
Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about this?
Posted by: Trip | March 30, 2004 at 10:27 AM
Ernie, as long as I keep my hands well-shaved I'll be able to read braille!
Hey...why do one's palms allegedly get hairy from too much masturbation and not the fingers? I have to say, for the record, they're quite instrumental to the process. Mine should have looked like five little members of ZZ Top by now.
Posted by: Tomorrow's Man | March 30, 2004 at 10:31 AM
Shepherds are not too swift.
Just a thought.
Posted by: BarryFS | March 30, 2004 at 10:33 AM
I'm now a genius
See? e = mc2
But my prick fell off :(
Posted by: D'Artagnan | March 30, 2004 at 10:34 AM
As reported in the Unicum Campus!, Uni-CUM????? These studies may be biased.
Posted by: bm | March 30, 2004 at 10:57 AM
Tomorrow's Man: You question reminded me of a hilarious routine by comedian Robert Schimmel. He's talking about various sex aids, including one advertised as "use this cream and your dick gets bigger!" He asks, "wouldn't your hand get bigger? You're walking around with one Mickey Mouse hand. 'Hi Bob, I didn't know you were a lefty.'"
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | March 30, 2004 at 11:21 AM
Imagine sororities without this!
Posted by: Query Meister | March 30, 2004 at 11:22 AM
Another opportunity for pay-per-view punkyvision?
Posted by: elfbrains | March 30, 2004 at 11:43 AM
Hey, I was just wanting a subscription - I think the originators were punky and eadn (or alex?).
And, sadly, not as well as I'd like!
Posted by: elfbrains | March 30, 2004 at 11:47 AM
Oops, misread your response. Sounds like one of those "priceless" things to me.
Posted by: elfbrains | March 30, 2004 at 11:48 AM
Wow. You folks are out of control. Again.
Popsicles?! Good God...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 11:58 AM
God only knows. I was as prepared as could be expected, so we'll find out...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 12:04 PM
I mean...POPSICLES?! I can't get over it!
I thought my ability to be horrified was lost in middle school.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 12:06 PM
Creamsicles have a whole new meaning to me now.
Posted by: c00kie | March 30, 2004 at 12:07 PM
But yet I have a sort of grudging admiration for rita...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 12:07 PM
She DID, didn't she?! So, Punky, want to change your story about not starting it, young lady?!
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 12:10 PM
you'd better start fessing up...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 12:11 PM
So sex gets you high, gives you a good workout, and even makes you smarter. Now all I gotta do is find a well-rounded meal and I'm good to go! (or should that be come?! ;-)
Posted by: eadn | March 30, 2004 at 12:13 PM
Punky, I think you've been replaced as Dave's Royal Grand Poo-Bah of Blog Debauchery.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 12:17 PM
Mel, I'm gonna call shenanigans on that...
Don't believe you for a second...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 12:18 PM
Naive...maybe.
But probably not.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 12:25 PM
Wow, Baylink, which word did you Google to find that link? :)
Posted by: Con | March 30, 2004 at 02:42 PM
Thanks. Punky. And rita IS right, you know, the young'uns aren't nearly as hip as they might like to think. Did'ja ever notice how uptight they can be? Come to think of it, did'ja ever notice that they rarely use the term "uptight"?
Did'ja notice judi's popsicle was cherry? And, (I am not making this up) my last name is Cherry. There is a method to my madness. ;)
Posted by: Con | March 30, 2004 at 03:18 PM
(Warning, link even slightly less safe for work than the rest of this thread. ;-)
Posted by: Baylink | March 30, 2004 at 03:21 PM
And from the other end of the spectrum, proof that this story is accurate. Seen on a dating website as a descriptive caption to a picture:
"20f usf just moved here and looking for friends, i don't mess around or dumb shit like that but if you're cool then im down to kick it drop me k ttyl"
No comment.
But then, no comment is really necessary, is it?
Posted by: Baylink | March 30, 2004 at 03:29 PM
And from the other end of the spectrum, proof that this story is accurate. Seen on a dating website as a descriptive caption to a picture:
"20f usf just moved here and looking for friends, i don't mess around or dumb shit like that but if you're cool then im down to kick it drop me k ttyl"
No comment.
But then, no comment is really necessary, is it?
Posted by: Baylink | March 30, 2004 at 03:30 PM
And from the other end of the spectrum, proof that this story is accurate. Seen on a dating website as a descriptive caption to a picture:
"20f usf just moved here and looking for friends, i don't mess around or dumb shit like that but if you're cool then im down to kick it drop me k ttyl"
No comment.
But then, no comment is really necessary, is it?
Posted by: Baylink | March 30, 2004 at 03:33 PM
>looks down at her popsicle. looks up at the post. looks down at her popsicle. swallows with some effort.
Posted by: happy sharkie | March 30, 2004 at 03:36 PM
And from the other end of the spectrum, proof that this story is accurate. Seen on a dating website as a descriptive caption to a picture:
"20f usf just moved here and looking for friends, i don't mess around or dumb shit like that but if you're cool then im down to kick it drop me k ttyl"
No comment.
But then, no comment is really necessary, is it?
Posted by: Baylink | March 30, 2004 at 03:37 PM
Whoa! From the looks of things, Elli is way too busy for this blog, but you have to admire her.. uh.. entrepreneural ambition. And her sense of humor.
Posted by: Con | March 30, 2004 at 03:40 PM
Nicely put, Con.
And everyone, please pardon me.
I'm becoming insanely, homicidally, stick-a-cats-ass-on-the-fridge-with-a-magnet'ally frustrated with Moveable Type's clear inability to process comments correctly, even with caching turned completely off in my browser, unless I *shut the browser down* after every comment I post.
This negatively impacts my joy in participating approximately as the cube of the number of times it occurs.
Hopefully, someone can find the Herald's webmaster... before I do.
Posted by: Baylink | March 30, 2004 at 03:45 PM
No worries, Baylink, I can name at least 2 other programs that do repeat postings. Even more if you count PHP based forum software. My cache is off too, and there are a couple of double posts here with my name on 'em, too.
Posted by: Con | March 30, 2004 at 03:57 PM
Back to the popsicle thing. They can be used in very nice ways. Popsicles alternated witha hot drink, coffee...tea...toddys. Very good for sensation alternation. Note: Must be used orally.
Posted by: Graz | March 30, 2004 at 04:27 PM
And cough drops. This can be used on guys and girls.
Posted by: Graz | March 30, 2004 at 04:28 PM
Just trying to do my part in educating the blog masses.
Posted by: Graz | March 30, 2004 at 04:37 PM
Cough drops???? I don't ever get a cough THERE!
I need more details. Cherry or Menthol?
*pen poised over paper ... waiting for response*
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 05:04 PM
Menthol, Punky. Must be in the mouth of the....ahhh....."provider". Then followed by hot drink, followed by cold drink, ect, ect, ect...until ...ahem....completion.
Posted by: Graz | March 30, 2004 at 05:11 PM
*scribble scribble scribble*
Thanks, Graz. I think I'll try that out tonight.
Anyone free???
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 05:21 PM
Punky, that may be best left to an expert, being the initial trial and all. And I am an expert...
Posted by: Graz | March 30, 2004 at 05:23 PM
Well then expertly maneuver your cute little self on over here.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 05:27 PM
Whipped cream in a spray can is nice, but I'm sure you experts already knew that . . . And why can the popsicle only be used orally? Yeast infections, I guess.
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 05:52 PM
Pixe. I think you did it. You left MeL and Me speechless.
I think you deserve some kind of award for that.
Perhaps a popsicle.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:00 PM
Ya'll seriously never thought of that?
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:03 PM
yeah, you're not supposed to ummm... introduce anything with sugar.
Posted by: judi | March 30, 2004 at 06:03 PM
So you get a diet popsicle? (I'm so going to Hell.)
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:06 PM
No, no, pixie. I thought of that. I even KNOW that from, um, experience. I just can't believe you SAID it. :)
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:13 PM
Come back, MeL.
We'll behave. Promise.
*fingers crossed behind back*
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:15 PM
You girls need supervision. Seriously.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:17 PM
or medication. Either one.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:17 PM
perhaps both.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:19 PM
Sorry, MeL. I'll try to be satisfied with my current place in Hell, rather than trying to rise any higher (sink any lower?)
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:20 PM
or a spicy helping of da gfunk.
I have no idea what that means.
I didn't get much sleep last night.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:20 PM
Spicy? We were talking about sugar . . .
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:22 PM
but da gfunk is definately spicy-like.
Can't change da funk.
I apologize. Good Lord.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:24 PM
Ever read any Dante, Mel?
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:24 PM
No, no, Mel. It's OK, dear. We'll all be together in Hell, like one big happy blog family.
Pixie, don't scare the little ones like that!
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:25 PM
gfunk ... and you said WE needed to be medicated and/or supervised. Ha!
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:27 PM
I just need to go to bed...
But miles to go before I sleep...
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:27 PM
Come on out sweetie. Pixie was only kidding.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:27 PM
Ah ...
The woods are lovely, dark and deep ... But I have miles to go before I sleep.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:29 PM
So instead of studying for this philosophy test for 5 hours I could have just gone to the frat house down the street???
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:31 PM
I apologize ;-)
gfunk, please don't change! we like you just the way you are.
MeL, don't worry! I wouldn't leave my fellow blogglits even if I could move in the highest/lowest levels of Hellish society.
Sniff . . . I sense another group hug . . .
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:31 PM
wow. I'm on a streak. Two straight posts with literary references. I suck.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:31 PM
smart is sexy, gfunk.
don't let 'em tell you otherwise.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:33 PM
Don't worry about hell, according to a former friend of mine, I know a lot of great people going there, so it'll be one hell of a party.
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:34 PM
thanks for the ego boost, Punky. I'm almost ready to start hitting on Natalie, here, since she's apparently looking for a frat boy.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:36 PM
Natalie, have you been reading the comments from a week or two ago? Some of us bloglings, like eadn, have condos in Hell! He's very kindly offered me a room, so I'll invite your friends to my parties, if you'll invite mine to yours.
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:38 PM
I'll throw in a good word for ya, Gfunk.
Psst. Natalie. Gfunk wanted me to pass you this note.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:38 PM
check yes, no, or maybe so.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:38 PM
Oh, and smart is sexy, gfunk. If nothing else, it helps you avoid getting caught!
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:39 PM
Not necessarily a frat guy, just any will do for now (serious guy shortage at my school)
sounds good pixie, can't wait!
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:41 PM
although it's been stated about 5 times already, i have to agree with the sexy smartness
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:42 PM
What school. I'm coming.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:42 PM
down in VA, come on down, bring friends, lots of friends
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:43 PM
thanks Mel
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:44 PM
Gfunk ... I'll help you pack. Don't forget the popsicles.
Natalie. Welcome to the family.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:45 PM
yay, thanks Punky
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:46 PM
well, I'm just in NC. So I'd actually be coming up.
My sis went to UVA.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:47 PM
and you folks are going to have to provide your own popsicles.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:47 PM
I won't provide for other's debauchery. Even if it includes me.
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:48 PM
Cool, my roomate is from Charlottesville
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:48 PM
Cool, my roomate is from Charlottesville. I hate this &*$^%&@ test......
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:49 PM
What could they test you on in philosophy? Just claim the test doesn't exist, and go from there.
It was a philosophy test, wasn't it?
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:50 PM
You're so damn picky, gfunk.
Well kids, I'm going to let you continue your courting (Natalie, check YES, you won't be disappointed)
Parting is such sweet sorrow. I'm off to bed.
Posted by: Punky Brewster | March 30, 2004 at 06:51 PM
Yeah, the fun philosophical ramblings of Leibniz and Locke
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:51 PM
I hear ya, Natalie. I have 10 papers/projects/presentations standing between me and the end of the semester. Not to mention final exams. Good luck tomorrow!
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:51 PM
later, punky
Posted by: gfunksizzle | March 30, 2004 at 06:52 PM
g'nite Punky, and thanks pixie, same to you. I have..........5 tests......3 papers.....and 1 presentation left that I know about, plus finals. fun fun fun......i think I'm going to go shoot myself...
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:53 PM
I think I'll follow Punky's lead. Good night all. And Natalie, gfunk, don't forget the whipped cream!
Posted by: evil little pixie | March 30, 2004 at 06:53 PM
nevermind, who am I kidding? I'm in college, I don't have the money to buy a gun. Oh well, I think I'll just go to sleep instead
Posted by: Natalie | March 30, 2004 at 06:54 PM