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March 28, 2004


There is none here.


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That was brilliant, Dave - and certainly not less helpful than any other diet advice column. After all, laughter burns calories, so now I can proudly claim I've reached my dieting goal for this fine Sunday - and get myself a nice bar of ice-cream to celebrate the fact.

I just bought a new Low Carb computer!

And I think it is more than mere coincidence that my bread, which is also LOW CARB, tastes JUST LIKE my printer paper.

Hmmm...OK, this is probably too serious for this blog but....

Did You Know that some newspapers are apparently editing Dave's columns? Apparently for space, some things are cut in my paper's version of this column vs. the online version.

For instance, the following phrases aren't in my paper's (the Durham NC Herald-Sun) version:
* (a ''record'' was a primitive compact disc that operated by static electricity).

[And the next thing you know, there'd be a bowl of pretzels going around,] * or crackers, or even potato chips, and we'd put these things into our mouths and just ... EAT them.

Anyone else notice they're not getting the full Dave experience from their paper? Is this normal?


Gosh. Since the advent of the computer, I haven't picked up an ACTUAL "leave ink on my hands" newspaper for anything other than packing. Matter of fact, all my news comes to me via Internet. Maybe this is why I never actually leave my desk.

My comment is: Why does the Washington P#$% run Dave's column a week behind? (today we got last week's IRS column) And why do they use their own boring staff artist, instead of the one I assume is syndicated jointly with Dave's column? (I particulary resented this when the late lamented Jeff MacNelly was doing the illustrations). Honks me off.


You really should give actual printed newspapers a try. They're MUCH tastier than printer paper.


And therefor, tastier than my low fat bread. I think I'll steal my neighbors and have some with my eggs this morning!

Thanks, Friend!


Attention Readers: Kindly replace Low Fat with Low Carb on above post.

Thank you.


This column was fantastic. I recently received an email from a national restaurant chain bragging about their "Atkins Approved menu" and wondered if John Edward (from Crossing Over with John Edward) somehow got involved to get that one approved. I prefer the bumper sticker that says, "Eat healthy, stay fit, die anyway."

Dave, I just have to say, I think this is your best column so far this year. My hat goes off to you. Or it would, if I were wearing it.

That was truly hilarious, Dave. I am so sick of seeing all the carbohydrate diet crap everywhere I turn.

By the way, I just got back from Paris a couple weeks ago and I ate a lot of... *gasp* bread!!!! And I'm not the size of a walrus, nor am I feeling guilty. :-) The French eat way better than us anyway...

*side bar comment*

Michelle, I was in Paris a few months back and my diet consisted of a steady stream of cheese, wine and BREAD.

It was a happy time.

Get this! I came back and realized I had actually LOST weight on that diet. How's that for irony?!

I've been doing something called "exercise" in which I use my muscles to move around and lift things, and I've found that carbohydrates actually help me do that. I haven't really seen that covered in best-selling diet books, so I can't blame people for being skeptical, but try to keep an open mind. After all, it could turn out to be the next fad.

Sure, the French eat better than us, but they're also French. So, it's kind of a trade.


I think I lost weight in Paris, too... eating bread, chocolate, cheese, etc. Not only does their food taste better, but the majority of it is prepared to be healthier- even their chocolate is better for you than ours is. Of course we also walked all over the place including up and down many many flights of spiral stairs... but I think the food was part of it.

This isn't really related, but I'm curious... did you find the people there to be generally more polite than Americans? Because I did. And I was surprised after all I had heard. I loved it and can't wait to go back... only one year and three months or so before I go there for a semester... don't worry, not starting the official countdown quite yet...

Actually, I think the Hun were probably more polite than Americans. (Until they loped your head off and put it on a spike.) Americans are not known around the world for their politeness, at least that's what I have seen in travels. I can always spot a fellow American in a crowd.

Bravo! This was the best column I've read in quite some time! That's not to say the others have been bad, mind you... But This one was definitley really good. And I'm not just saying that because I've been up all night trying to digest two cheeseburgers (complete with buns and french fries), which I only ate because I want to maintain the typical "american" figure.

It was kind of good.

What amazes me is that Dr. Atkins first published his diet in the 1970's. So why all of a sudden did this become "the new way to diet" a few months ago?

Re the comment about "why now after all these years?" (paraphrasing) In a word, MARKETING!

As for the fast food joints that do "low carb burgers", that's not a burger! Those are beef salads! Those are beef on a lettuce bun! Whoever heard of a lettuce bun. It's not natural I tell ya!

As a biology major, I feel inclined to divulge a little known fact. Celery is actually bad for you. Yeah, it has tons of cellulose in it, however the majority of it is water. Well...it gets all that water by absorbing it out of the ground. Someone did some tests and found that celery actually has some of the highest levels of carcinogens ever found in vegetables. Anyone ever read those books "The celery stalks at midnight" Evil celery....

For what it's worth, a) my best friend, whose mother is a biochem professor, and would probably be a doctor if junior colleges left you time for thesis research (:-) has no problem with the science behind the Atkins diet, and b) on a modified, lazy-man's version of Atkins called the "No, I don't want fries with that" diet, I've gone from 242 to 212 in about 4 month. I drink water rather than soda and juices quite a bit more than I used to, and skip the TaterTots(tm).

And I'm a professional geek, so no, I'm not getting any too much more exercise than I used to, which wasn't all that much anyway.

But for all of that, I haven't lost as much as Dave's columns. The St Pete Times edits them too; often taking out the *funny* parts.

Carbs v calories, internet v newspapers

I'm just hoping they syndicate Dave's column onto a deep fried chocolate sandwich.

And,now that I know the evils of eating celery, I have refined my previous patent-pendind diet which is now titled 'The Deep fried chcocolate sandwich and deep fried chocolate sandwich diet'.

Dave, enjoy most of your stuff immensely. The carb column was great, until the part about Dr. Atkins dying with a bacon cheeseburger in his stomach. A little over the line. The guy died, after all, and it wasn't due to his eating habits. Even if he had, your reference was inappropriate.

Rebecca Hoyt, I just want to pay my respects to you and your opinion of Dave's column since you said it clearly, but gently.

Personally, I haven't followed the whole Dr. Atkins media event, let alone the diet, so I missed what you are referring to when I read Dave's column myself.

Your issue is between you and Dave, however I do most respect the civility of your stated opinion. Thank You. (By the way, no I'm not Dave, judi, or velvel, just a rather outspoken commenter here)

I heard that he died of celery poisoning.

Whatever. It's humor. It's satire. And, yeah, it's occasionally mean (although usually it's mean to supid people). If you can't deal, don't READ IT.

If the goal was not to offend anyone, it just wouldn't be funny. Dave's columns generally point out the humor in things. Sometimes it's unfair, sometimes it's not flattering. But it's funny, and often it brings a sadly needed perspective to things.

Fair or not, the fact that Dr. Atkins would have been qualified as obese when he dies IS newsworthy. And it IS ironic. And it IS on some level funny.

Oh, and Tinkerbell's Darker Side still sucks.

Screw apologies. The day we decide that certain topics are off limits for laughter is the day we start giving up our right to think independently.

Hey mike (not Mike) if you're not up on the velvel thing, s(he)it flamed judi for her posts. I was one of those who defended judi. Since then, velvel has been using my legitimate email address for it's continuing flaming posts on the blog.

Kinky Tinky is a different matter, but it appeared at least that they didn't add email identity theft to their disgustingness.

Since, especially two days ago, velvel is trying to present some sort of split personality using my email address as a firewall, I am currently waylaying it in more ways than one.

I agree with the right to think independently, also complain, attack, and defend given your opinion. However, as You and Rebecca Hoyt have done, do so with consistent integrity and self-responsibility.

I think now you understand why I got on my soapbox? The velvel thing isn't your problem, but you also left a relative example of how to behave in a disagreement on The Blog. Thank You.

Mike--I get two newspapers that carry Dave's column, and they both get edited differently. Sometimes it seems to be for content (musn't offend anyone, y'know), but sometimes it makes no sense at all. Editors are a strange species.

Michelle, regarding Paris ... I found the men to be VERY friendly. The women, on average, were not.

I drank more than my body weight in wine when I was there, I'm certain of it. I can't wait to go back!

Eadn ... sorry Velvel has stolen your identity. Bad Velvel. Bad. Clearly a bad seed.

And not that anyone really gives a flying rats ass ... but here is my opinion on Atkins. I am opposed to any diet that totally eliminates ANY food completely. If you can't maintain it the rest of your life, why bother trying to maintain it for any part of your life.

I guess I'm just a big ol' fan of moderation.

And Mike, you go on and laugh at what ever tickles you, love. Life is simply too short to live by someone else's rules ... especially when it comes to humor.

When I read comments such as those made by "Rebecca Hoyt" above, I can't help but remember that some people didn't think World War II was funny, either.

Well said, Punky. I have been lucky to have been blessed with genes in as weight has never been an issue for me. That being said, everyone is predisposed to have a certain body type. The real issue should be; ARE YOU HEALTHY ? And that is where diet comes in. Not diet in starve yourself to lose weight, but in the nutritional sense. Eating only certain food groups is not how to be healthy. That goes for no carbs, low-fat, or only twinkies.

Punky, THANKS!!!! She's only used my email address, not my moniker. Apparently, more might have gone on than I even knew with it.

I will admit that my specific posts since last night are designed for Dave & Judi as well as what I have said specifically. And Especially notice to velvel!

MiLadySoFine, I do hope I've answered your confusion and I will leave The Blog for tonight. My apologies again, that last velvel post you yawned at was the last straw in this camel's back!


Good night Eadn. Sweet Dreams and don't let the Velvel bugs bite. The world needs a few a-sholes to help keep everything in perspective. :)

See you tomorrow ... same bat-time, same bat-channel.

The Atkins diet doesn't eliminate any food group - not even carbs. As most doctors will tell you, including Dr. Atkins, carbs are a required food.

The diet just cuts down on the amounts of the carbs you take in. The diet works, btw, but still has to be adhered to - it's not any easier, or harder, than any other diet. It's a diet!

Naturally, exercise is required if you want to lose any real weight.

Finally, as I understand it - and you'd have to post a serious link to prove me wrong - Dr. Atkins was in a coma when he died, THAT is why he was over-weight. I'm not on the diet, but I don't care for misinformation to be bandied about as fact.

And MeL - where does one get a look at your curves? Too much food will certainly give you curves, but as someone here said, moderation is key - too many curves aren’t a good thing!

remember that famous Aerosmith song on carbs?
"i was skinny when i met u...
now im dying-oh i ate u..."

Okay, I really have to lose my weekend life and start blogging more.

Why do I think Punky finds the men to be "VERY friendly" everywhere she goes? If not, come on to Texas, sweetheart!

Sorry about your loss of identity, eadn - but surely anyone who pays attention will know when it is and isn't you - I think most of us can usually tell who is who without the names.

I don't do Atkins, but I do stay on a low-carb diet. Hey, I used to weigh nearly 400 pounds - not anymore. Different things work for different people. I don't do pasta or bread much - but I do like the Snicker's bars. And now I'll keep an extra few around, in case Dave drops by.

Great article, Dave.

From what I've heard from the nutrition folk, people are losing weight on the low-carb diet because they are limiting calories. It's variety in food that makes people want to eat more. If your choices are meat, cheese, and little else, there's only a certain amount that you really want to eat. Now with the advent of these low-carb snacks, it makes me wonder whether people will begin eating more because they've got more to choose from.
That is the way my pyschology professor (who's original degree was in biochem) explained it... Made sense to me.

hear hear

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