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February 25, 2004


Of course it's outside Britain's Tate Gallery.

(Thanks to Bernie Langer)


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I'm out of excuses.. I'm gonna spend some time boxing up stuffs in my spare room

*drags furry behind in*
I have spackled (I *heart* spackle inna tube)the den, moved out all the furniture, vacuumed and taped off all the woodwork so I can paint it tomorrow.
It's supposed to be 90 here tomorrow.
*sobs quietly*
But I didn't (YaY me!) fatally disconnect my puter.
I had to come back and give Susan another cake before I blew up my pc.
Huuugeee warning on this btw peoples. For serious cake pervieness
Happy Bday
(pardon the incorrect name. i just thought it was ubercool)

Thanks Lab

Have a great weekend everyone. I'm off to run wedding type errands. 42 days to go.

ooh... I'm a Cathy.. well, phonetically speaking, anyway.

I've done some baking this morning.. well, that's a very loose term for what I've done, anyway. I was asked to bake a batch of (something) for a "rescue truck" which is going down south (Geraldine, Timaru, Temuka) to get food and supplies to the folks who are still snowed in (and went without electricity for three days this week) before the next expected major dump on Sunday/Monday. You, of course, realise that when you're baking for someone else, it NEVER goes the way that it's supposed to - I was making oat & raisin cookies, and they just wouldn't stick together. So I've put thw whole mix in a big baking pan, and hopefully, Oat n Raisin slice works just as well.. I'll let you know!

42.. the answer to everything should be revealed today, then, Mad!

Oat & raisin? Can't go wrong, Kaf. As a matter of fact I had a couple of oatmeal raisin cookies for dessert tonight.

Mmmmmm... I haven't had oatmeal cookies since I left the US ages ago. Can I have some, Kaf?

I'm incredibly tired, more than I think I should be. In the morning I went to the supermarket and back with (thankfully) not too much stuff in my backpack, and a few hours ago I walked to my Russian teacher's house and back again because class was cancelled... nothing too out of the ordinary, distance-wise... but I fell asleep at about 6:30 PM. Totally conked out. Yikes.
I hope I'm better tomorrow, because I may have to go to Russian class in the morning.

Cookies, Yum!

In my Albertson's delivery today, I have choc. chip M&M cookies!

But it's too hot to eat, even with the a/c on.

And my daughter brought over a basket with straw in it to hang on the patio roof for the doves to be comfy in, and they were only here for 5 minutes before she came over. No sightings since.

well, it's a slice now, Marie.. but you're welcome to as much as you want!

The sun has come out, which means that my house will get warm, except that it already is, thanks to the fire, but if I go outside (predicted high for the day is 47) it's gonna be cooooold baby

I sent Dave a fantastic "Bulletin Bulletin Bulletin" item about Twit wanting to have her baby in Namibia and he hasn't posted it. I was sure that would be posted! Does she even know where Namibia is? (that was my subject line, and a good question, IMO)

Posted by: Sarah J | 04:13 PM on June 16, 2006

This was already blogged on the 14th at 6:34 pm

Then again, I also sent in about 4 really funny links today, all of which were ignored.

Me too, Leetie! And I'm trying not to be bitter about it.

And I'm certainly not going to mention it on the MB because judi just goes berserk whenever anyone says, I sent that in too, or whatever. she really went off on someone a couple of days ago - it wasn't pretty!

I do know that judi tries to check and double-check if she has the FIRST sender of an item that gets blogged. I know that I've sent stuff in that I've seen credited to someone else, but I just feel grateful that I'm still funny enough for Dave, even if it isn't recognised on the MB.

When I'm Sixty-Four...

And my daughter brought over a basket with straw in it to hang on the patio roof for the doves to be comfy in, and they were only here for 5 minutes before she came over.

Did she bring little silk sheets and birdy champagne? Cigarettes for after?

Dave did use one of the ones I sent in today; obviously I was not the first that time. But I had others I thought were as good as any he used, in some cases better. So it goes.

I had hopes for the Chilean naked student protest, but my favorite was probably Surf's Up for Stalin, which ISIANMTU.

Cowabunga, comrades!!!

Hey, dudes and dudettes, gulag's up!!!

*starts humming "Wipeout" with a heavy Russian accent*

just for fun.. a little game from the DB4Prez board

then there was the Catherine the Great song, "Ride the Wild Serf"

I hope his final movie is like Cher's final tour.. only without the musical accompaniment.

81.. and he's still hot!

He sure is, Kaf. Joanne Woodward is a lucky woman.

insomniac, please promise you won't ever go away. We'll still love you and feed you when you are 64 if you keep us in stitches like you do.

From your link, An album of Stalin-era prison songs mixed with Hawaiian-style surf music is proving an unlikely hit in eastern Europe.

Remember earlier today I said that the dogs in Hasselhoff's crotch was a sentence I really didn't expect to ever say? That sentence about the prison songs is in the same category.

Go Newman - what a guy. I hope I am that busy at his age!

Happy Father's day to all you dads. Mine will be spent driving my daughter to Greensboro, NC for her orientation. Belive me, I am gonna have a good dinner, for sure.

We are staying at
where it is really nice and cheaper than most local places.

Crap, I turn in my HTML badge for the night.

I've continued a long-term tradition of mine. I missed Shakespeare in the Park. And it ends Sunday.

Alas and forsoothe.

And damne.

*dies instantly of cute overload*

Nite All, Happy belated B-Day for those I missed commenting on and Happy B-Day for you in the future which I will miss.
Love you all for who you are, later.

*zips in*

Yankees won!

Paul Newman was great in Empire Falls, which was an HBO thing. I've always felt bad for him because I read he was color blind and never got to see how beautiful his blue eyes were *sigh*.

I'm going to look for a cooler room in the house than this one -


*zips out*

Hey! Here you are.

I nearly missed Susan's birthday!!! Oh gosh! And it was Insomniac's bday on Wednesday.

I flail myself with silken whips for missing these things. I do that anyway but just for today I do it for Susan and Insom. Love and good fortune should fall on your heads.

I've heard such good things from my peeps. You guys are so good at this love and support thing, you know? You made me feel much better - and gave me some direction. Thanks.

Should I go to the Randy Bachman and Burton Cummings concert tommorow nite? I want to see it very much but I'm not sure I want to go with the person who has asked me. Can I just grab the ticket and bugger off? Or is that just rude?

Toodles, Laynie!

Have a great time, Big D!

Sly.. I'm with you. damne

{{{Peri}}} other than that, I don't know.
My opinion is, yes it would probably be rude just to take the ticket and ignore the guy, but at the same time it's a concert that you want to go to and a guy you don't want to go with. Tis a quandary of epic proportions. Okay.. I give up. I don't have a better idea.. except to tell the guy that you'll hold onto the tickets for him, then fake your sudden death and go to the concert as your own twin sister and pretend you've never met the guy that she was going to go with.

Excellent. {{{Kaf!)))
I'm going with that.

Actually, I'm a little annoyed with life in this matter of concerts. When I was a gambler and my life was a disaster, I played at the same lounge Burton Cummings played at. We had this cigarette/beer exchange going on, in the late hours of the nite. Neither of us acknowledged that he was Burton Cummings - we shared smokes and beers and reviled the losing machines. I haven't been in that lounge for over 2 years now and I've missed my chance for floor seats!

It was kind of a ripoff of Rene Artois' "death" in the Brit-com series "'Allo, 'Allo" - at one point he's brought back as the identical twin brother (who just happens to have the same name) of his dead self and he marries his "brother's" widow, to keep the café in the family. I was thinking.. it worked on television, so it'll probably work in real life, right?

sly. - thank you for your kind words, but the stalin surfertunes link was Jeff's ...
"Nightline' briefly mentioned Sir Paul's 64th which further irritated an earwig...so as Neil Innes says(he toured with Monty Python) 'I've suffered for my music... and now it's your turn.'

Now that I'm older, I no longer care
Hairy ears abound
Wilford Brimley seems just like a regular guy
Burping Coke makes me feel fine!
Though Mrs. Paul stars in Germanic porn
There's no cause to mourn
He's still got his millions (or maybe it's billions)
When he's sixty-four!

Taking V***** for a special night
Helps ignite a spark
Synthetical erections really aren't the best kind
But the Mrs. really won't mind!
Comparing my life to Sir Paul's is why
My outlook's so forlorn
He'll get a peerage, I'll be in steerage
When I'm sixty-four!


'Allo 'allo!
(one of my favourites!)
A giggling neo is a strangely stimulating sight.
I must find a suitable soundtrack.

*applauds Insom*

very well done, my friend.

"Yellow doesn't mean go faster?????

Posted by: slyeyes | 10:37 PM on June 15, 2006

The proper etiquette is:

"Miami drivers do not interpret traffic lights the same way as normal humans do. This is what a traffic light means to a Miami driver:

GREEN: Proceed.

YELLOW: Proceed Much Faster.

RED: Proceed While Gesturing.

from: "KILL 'EM WITH KINDNESS", June 9, 1996

I'm pretty sure I've read that Tony! LOL!

*tweaks the Orgasmatron(tm thingy) switches*

*watches to see which hammocks they were stored in during the last move*

wow.. I was coming here to post something philosophical about how we have come to rely on the internet.. push a button and everything's available for you.. and yet it wasn't that long ago that this would have been something straight out of a futuristic fantasy story or possibly an episode of Star Trek. Then I got waylaid by traffic etiquette and Orgasmatrons. Happy Weekend, beautiful people!

Tony.. was today (yesterday) your last day in the cubicle? As I'm pretty sure it was, have a moatarita to celebrate!!


Happy Birthday, Susan!

*streaks across Lab's lawn*

*becomes entangled in a large pile of discarded pants*

*breaks free*

*stops to play a round of "Kik a Puppi™" because the "Whack-a-Mole™" machine just doesn't do it for me anymore*

*heads 4 bed*

Oops; sorry for the goof on the Stalin linkage. That's what I get for heinzing without my contacts. Great link, Jeff. And since it was from Ananova, we know it was true.

And, Jeff, we wouldn't be the same without you, too.

PERI! Good to see you back. Stop in more often.

*tucks Tony in bed and tries to hide blog clock under pillow so no one sees what time she's up on a Saturday.*


Sly.. I was up at a similar time this morning. Fun, isn't it?

and now.. just to keep things balanced, I'm going to bed. I've been watching the "Phantom" DVD this evening. Completely grand and OTT. I love it.

*checks to see if there's an Orgasmatron in her hammock*

Crap - they keep telling me I am "comment spam" and I can't figure out why. I keep cutting more and more and nothing changes. HEWLL ANMD DAMNE.

Great. My entire comment is now gone. Half an hour down the drain. At least if they told you WHAT was comment spam you could change it but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

BigD: you & LittleD have a great time.

{{{Peri}}} Stop disappearing on us!

I know, buy Burton a beer and he'll sing you a tune!

Jeff Bridges in Starman:

"I watched you very carefully. Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast."

So far, no problems.

That just leaves the Shakespeare in the Park. We used to go years ago - saw George C. Scott, Meryl Streep with John (Fredo) Cazale, Sam Waterston and many other big names.

But it got to be too much of a hassle to sit there all day waiting for tickets (fun when you're in college, a pain when you're old and crotchety). When they made it possible to get them earlier, you had to line up way too early for us.

Oh right, Kaf's comment reminded me of a terrific Scottish mini-series from 1987 we saw at a friend's house in England years ago, Tutti Frutti. Robbie Coltrane was the leader of an aging band on their farewell tour. When he gets killed his younger brother - also played by Coltrane - is recruited to replace him. A very funny Emma Thompson and Richard ("Victor Meldrew") Wilson also star.

So what was the comment spam? Randy Bachman & Burton Cummings? (We saw Burton perform years ago in Central Park when he made his short-lived solo U.S. splash.)

Jeff, trying process of elimination?

Yup. That and editing. I still have no clue what caused the problem.

Why are you up so early?

And when are the kids coming home from Spain?

Girl #1: ...maybe a tattoo. We should get tattoos.
Girl #2: I find those people, them, to be low class.
Girl #1: But we are low class.
Girl #2: Touche.

Sounds like sly's friend & her boyfriend:

Man: Hey! It's so great to run into you! I haven't heard from you in so long!
Woman: Yeah, that's because you didn't call me after we slept together.

Now this one IS sly's friend!

Girl on cell: You have to just ask him. But you have to ask him to his face so you can see his reaction. Just look him in the eye and say, "Dad, are you on Match.com?" and see if he looks surprised. You just have to confront stuff like that.

Saturday morning porch time will be earlier than normal and abbreviated.

We're going to see HRH Princess Annarae this morning.

And speaking of HRH Princesses, I haven't heard from Princess Meghan all week. This was the first full week of campers, so she most likely has been really busy.

Jenni and Tim have returned from Spain and are exhausted. 5 days in Madrid and 2 days of traveling. And back to work on the house.

I can't wait until the end of the month when Jenni and I go visit Meghan. That's going to be fun!

Jeff, those are good. My girls were quite grossed out when they found out their dad was on M@tch.

When I have more time, I'll tell you about the conversation when they told me who their dad is dating.

Gotta go finish getting ready for the trip. After this weekend, there may be more "Conversations with the Family"

Oh crap.

Another neighbor is having a yard sale.

*borrows more sharp spikes from DJTony for the front lawn*

*Puts lock on bathroom door.*

Give the baby a hug for us. And say hi to Stacey and Carol.

10:37? Everyone sleeping in this morning? Everyone other than sly, of course.

Well, it is Eat Your Vegetables Day, so maybe you're trying to avoid them.

C'mon, open wide, say "ahhhhhhhhhh".

Eat your vegetables? *thinks*

Isaac, Bloody Marys for everyone! We can drink our vegetables instead.

*zips in*

Yes, neo, I'd like to celebrate Eat Your Veggies Day with an early morning (here) Bloody Mary!

In other news, today is also TCK's birthday. Although he hardly ever graces the MOAT with his presence, I, being a bigger person who is not petty,

Kaf, I LOVE the Phantom DVD and watch it on a regular basis. Of course it's OTT, but it's so beautiful - the sets, music etc. I read that when they were filming Minnie Driver asked the director (CRS!) if she was supposed to play her role OTT, and he said to her, "Have you ever heard anyone do something UNDER the top?" *snork*

A Very Happy Birthday, TCK!

Not heinzed entirely, but getting there.

Just wanted to pop in and say that my follow-up appointment with the surgeon (yes, El, he's VERY cute!) went fairly well. He took xrays and looked at 'em, and said everything was aligned and where it should be. Fusion hasn't started yet, but he said he wouldn't expect to see that for at least six weeks, so I got another appt in August for that.

The appointment was actually rather traumatic, even though it was good news. He showed me the xray, and I very nearly passed out--apparently I went so white he made me sit down. It...it didn't look like me at all. Didn't even look human. Just...big whacking plates of metal and gigantic screws holding everything together. It was like a Terminator neck or something. That really spun me.

Then there was "the talk." The list of "never again"s--things I'll never be able to do again because while I'm SO much better than I was before the surgery, my neck will never be as good or as strong as it was. Being told that I'll always be vulnerable was quite a blow (being a rather brassy and strong/independent-type chickie)--(and yes, I said 'blow' hee hee!).

Aaahhh. Enough whinging. It really was GOOD news...I'm lots and lots better and healing very well. Thanks for listening to that other stuff, though. It helps.

OH! Listen to this.

Last night on Encore there was a movie Breathless starring Richard Gere from 1983 that I couldn't remember if I'd ever seen, and since there was nothing else interesting on, I watched it.

Full frontal nudity. Yes, you read that correctly - full frontal nudity, both by Gere and his romantic interest, Valerie something. AND full back nudity!! As a matter of fact, Gere walked around naked quite a lot, and so did she!!! And there was some VERY explicit sex.
The first time I saw Gere's *ahem* private parts *ahem* was very early on in the movie, and I was so - so - shocked, I guess, that I kept forgetting to listen to the dialogue, because my mind just kept saying - WOW! Quite impressive, IYKWIM!!!
And it was a pretty good movie, except for some extremely melodramatic music, just in case you didn't realize that the scene was a pivotal one because you were too busy thinking about Richard Gere's
d!ck!!! if you were a female, and I'm sure the men would have been thinking about Valerie's ramparts, which were also lovely.
/end movie review

salsa is a vegetable, right?

happy birthday, tck!

*trying not to think about Richard Gere...or hamsters

RG: ... and so ,Your Holiness, I pledge not to rest until Tibet has been liberated!

Dalai Lama: (thinks) I can't believe the size of his...commitment!

*giggle* Thanks for that snork, Insom.

I'm proud of myself because I wrote a lot today and even managed to wake up sort of early at 9:30 AM. Discipline, discipline!

Now my reward is some olive bread that Giant Frog bought at the bakery this morning... See you all around!

The hamster/gerbil/whatever story is NOT TRUE, and I've interrupted a prayer session with the Dalai Lama to come and tell you this - so


Peace to all and -

*returns from g00gling*

*tries not to think of the size of Richard Gere's... commitment*

(for the record, I was g00gling to see which vegetables can be turned into alcoholic beverages, not commitment sizes)

Nice save, Neo. *snork*

I will be eating my vegs at dinner along with shark fin. I had some black olive bread for lunch and a huge pain au chocolat for breakfast, yum!

I don't know where you find photos of Richard Gere's commitment and I'm not sure I want to know. 23 years ago, Rich and his commitment would have been.. much more interesting than they are today. I just don't want to see that level of commitment from a man of his age. Not onscreen, anyway.

Laynie, his co-star was Valerie Kaprisky (or Valérie, depending on which sites you're looking at.) She's done a lot of French movies, and apparently there's a French dubbed version of "Breathless" also.

Sharon.. between the xrays and the "thou shalt not"'s, it was probably quite a scary appointment. How many of the thou shalt not's were things that you would do, anyway? Were they extreme things like climbng Everest? Bunjy jumping off the CN Tower? and so on.. or more everyday stuff? Or possibly something verging on ridiculous ("I'm sorry to tell you, Ms Share-Alike, you'll never eat at Mickey D's again. The preservative in the burger patties will migrate round your body and eat right through the screws in your neck and then your head will fall over") Sometimes it just takes a while to assimilate the "thou shalt nots" into your daily existence, and to get used to the finality of it all. Maybe you should ask for a house cleaner.. possibly this guy. You see, I'm figuring that if your house gets too dusty, you'll sneeze, and if you sneeze the pressure on your neck might be too much, therefore you need a cleaner. It's only right.

I'm having hash browns for breakfast. Potato is a vegetablish dish, right?

LOL, Kaf!

I am now going to watch my FIRST soccer/football game EVER!

The U.S. vs. Italy - in HD.

They said Ghana beat the Czech Republic and that was shocking!

Back later.

*snork!* @ Kaf. Yes, indeedy, I'm doing better today with the whole "dealing with it" phase of things. Some of the "thou shalt nots" were really a bummer--no more weights at the gym, no skiing, no roller coasters (and I LOVE roller coasters!), permanent weight lifting limit so that I'll need to make a bunch of trips between the kitchen and car rather than carry all my groceries in at once. Other stuff was not quite as applicable, but you know what happens when someone tells you, "NO, you CAN'T do that!" I get all rebellious and ornery.

But THANKS for the laughs! And I'll have to check into that nude house cleaner deal.

Awwww, sharon, that sucks... I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE rollercoasters, I can't wait to hit Busch Gardens and ride the new Sheikra.

Oh, and yes, indeedy, Kaf, my last day in the cube was Friday. We even had cake to celebrate! I report to NCR Monday morning for orientation... YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Gotta run, time to clean out the car... I have a date tonight! (yeah, like that's gonna happen... I'm escorting my friend Jay's 89 year old mom to the Gay Men's Chorus tonight to see him perform.)

I'll czech in after work tonight!

*borrows El's zip for the evening and zips out*

Anytime Tony! Yay for the new job! Adios to cubicles!

Hey sharon, I bet your doctor would let you play catch with this! And maybe they make weights too!

Motto for today: Find the sunny side! :)

ya never know - you might meet someone lovely there.. you're certainly in the right place.

...but you know what happens when someone tells you, "NO, you CAN'T do that!" I get all rebellious and ornery.

So do I, and probably most people. Drove my mother out of her mind.

I didn't wear any sunscreen yesterday or today and now my skin is several shades darker. *sigh* I hate that. Kick me next time I leave the apartment without having put on any sunscreen, OK?

The good thing is - WE HAVE BIKES!!! Yes, we bought them an hour ago! So now, even if I do have to go out, it won't be for long, because I'll be zipping around town in my brand-new shiny bike! Yayyy for not suntanning anymore!
/end overuse of exclamation points

sharon: good news indeed, despite the caveats.

El, Breathless sucked big time, despite the nudity.

Yay, Tony on your last cube day.

Yesterday was the last day one of the guys was riding the bus. He had been transferred to Cincinnati.

To "celebrate", we had a new bus driver who got confused and instead of turning onto I-44, turned onto I-64. So we took the side-street round-about route to get to where we were supposed to be.

We just wanted to make sure he remembers us.

The baby is adorable and totally worth arm wrestling with Mom to hold her.

Mom is surprisingly strong for a woman her age. And while we're arm wrestling, Dad sneaks in and gets the baby.

I've got to go ice down my elbow and get ready for Round 3.


Hollywood studio, 1982:

"Yeah, listen, this is BIG. You got your French New Wave classic, Breathless, right? Belmondo, Jean Seberg, Godard - amoral punk chased after he kills a cop. Now Richie loves it, and he wants to star in a remake so we reverse it, right? You have a French girl with an American guy! Throw in lots of nudity and it's an instant classic!"

Mr. Guinness: "Brilliant!"

permanent weight lifting limit so that I'll need to make a bunch of trips between the kitchen and car rather than carry all my groceries in at once.

Better listen, sharon. Here's a typical story about my late father in law. He had prostate surgery and the doctor told him - as he was going home - not to lift anything heavy. I guess this wasn't specific enough, as on the way home they stopped at the supermarket and he carried out a 15-20 pound TURKEY!!!

Next thing you know he was back in the hospital. This time the doctor picked up a single sheet of paper and told him, "nothing heavier than this!"

An aside: when we asked Jackie's mother why she let him do it she gave the classic answer: "You know your father."

In other words, might as well be talking to the wall for all he listens. He stayed that way to the end.

Sharon, I was just concerned he not say "don't turn your neck or else." I guess you'll have to make the adjustment.


Thanks, guys. Jeff, you made me chuckle there...head-turning is okay, though I have lost some range of motion. I'll never be able to look back over my shoulder again, but hey...who needs to look back when you're driving in reverse??

...Just kidding (sort of!). My brother taught me how to fix my mirrors so I have no blind spot and I don't have to turn around.

Congrats on the bike, Marie--I hope you enjoy it.

*tosses Nerf ball to El*

Thanks, my friend. *smooch*

Marie, that's great. Does that mean you don't have to hike across town to the supermarket anymore?

This is how I picture Kourou.

To the Man From Montana - Happy Birthday, Sir!

Sharon - we can still test your metal on punning, can't we? If not, we may have to disc-uss taking you for a second opinion.

I forgot - Happy Birthday to TCK!

On another subject, you do not want this therapist:

Guy #1: So when I started telling him my feelings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheelchair and started cursing me out. He was going on about his time in Vietnam and how there are things about war I'll never understand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, "Whoa. You're my shrink! I'm paying you to listen to me!"
Guy #2: Seriously.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was only $15. But anyway, I'm definitely not going back to him.

Totally, dude.

good news for sharon: they do make nerf weights
bad news: the 100 lb one is as big as a car!

Ooo...I've wanted to do this since I joined the MOAT...

*SNORK* @ insom!

Thank you, kind sir.

Blue...I'm not scarred of you! It's my incision that I will fight to maintain my warrior punstress title, and there's no way anyone will screw me out of it.

*grins* It's good to be back.

Hey, I'm on your side after such a wrenching experience, Sharon, so don't treat me like a heal. But don't expect to pin me down nor make me bolt from your challenges either - I'm ready to socket to ya.

from Overheard at College:
Guy #1: I’m going to go home, wrap my blanket around me like a big placenta, and pretend I’m back in the womb.
Guy #2: Can I come with you? We could be twins!
Ithaca College

Sorority girl #1: Why do Asians always work at Chinese restaurants? Can’t they work other places?
Sorority girl #2: Obviously, but it’s easier for them there. You know, with affirmative action and everything.
Tulane University
New Orleans, Louisiana

*ducks flying punnage*

You two better be careful before someone gets it in the neck, though.

Sharon.. is *snorking* any good for your neck?

Sly.. don't mess with your parents. Even when they're supposedly frail and easy to mess with. It never goes well. That's what your kids are for

*waves at Sarah*

Expect snow tonight. No, not you. Me.

Sarah, loved the affirmative action one.

Kaf: expect a near record 95 tomorrow. Here, not there.

That is, 95 is the record. We could get close.

Received HRH D's report card yesterday. She graduated with a 4.225 GPA. Needless to say, someone here is very proud of his daughter. Off to college orientation tomorrow, AKK.

DJT, Congrats!

Congrats BigD on Little D AAAAA !

*Advances to next trench on belly to avoid pun crossfire*

*collects firewood*

*lights fire*

*considers the weather in America*

*makes coffee and tries to forget about it*

WTG Little D! We have some smart MoatBabies round these parts!

Listen up you punsters, I've got a bone to pick with you: your punning is cervically a pain in the neck. It is nothing but con-fusion when the joke is plate out.

*winks, smooches Blue and Sharon and runs away*

*Hits trap door button just in time to snare Neo*

It's completely spineless to run away after lines like that. Stay and fascia the music, lady.

*re-fuse-ing to say anything more*

The nerve of you! Lines like that take surgical precision! (Hey, I just column as I see 'em!)

*vows to leave puns behind, ne ver to prey on innocent victims again*

*plays Jeopardy music while frantically trying to come up with just pun more for the road*

I should-er known you guys would try to sneak out the back of this joint. What a sad tail. I thought you guys were hipper than that.

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