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December 11, 2003



(Thanks to billions of people)


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What just happened?

And how did it become december already?!? Crap, I missed all of summer! And now I gotta buy gifts for family members I don't even like.


I recommend "Soul Mountain," by Gao Xingjian.

The reason I recommend it is not because it is a good book - although it is - but because I sound incredibly intellectual by recommending something by the first Chinese winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature. And frankly, I like sounding incredibly intellectual, at every possible opportunity.

Far out, man! 30 year old acid must have kicked in!

Ah, but our comments are in March... perhaps we're in the new month known as Marchember!

Oh man.....flashbacks! I've now known you before I met you Punkster! Oh look-my fingers-trails!

Damn flux capacitor...

I don't think so, Dave. I still have complete confidence in the mission. I can feel it. I can feel it. Daisy, dai...sy....give me your....

And now Hotmail goes down! It's a madhouse, I tell ya! We're all doomed. Doomed I tell you!

Um...no. It's ok. It's back up. Never mind the doomed thing. That was crazy talk. I don't know where that came from.

What the...? Now it's December?! Oh well, at least my birthday's coming up sooner.

i'm scared ... someone hold me ... johnny?

It's worse than that! If you use the calendar thingy on the right to go to back to March, the blog entries are there, but... YOU CAN'T ADD COMMENTS! AIIIEEEEE!!! (insert Psycho music)

I think we all need to calm down, take stock, and let our leader reassure us. Dave, will you speak to us, please? We need you now like we've never needed you before!

And it just gets weirder and weirder... If you click on March 3rd on the calendar at the top right of the screen, you get the blog entries, but no links to comments.

I see Mike beat me to it...

Hi, March. Hi, December!

*poke poke*

Looks like everyone's rampant commenting broke the server. Way to go guys!

Ex-CUSE me. I am NOT rampant!

People, people. If we let this get to us, then the terrorists will have won.

Well, phooey, I'm going to lunch. Spoon!

There is no spoon. Duh!

Do you get the feeling that Dave sort of lost control here? Sort of a Lord of the Flies thing going on.

Nice timing for Dave to go to Michigan...

And I'm your new leader!! Mwahhahaaa....

I want March back!

we're actually trying to fix it. well, not WE. WE don't know anything about it. but WE have called the people who know how to fix it and maybe they will.

til then, shall we sing a song?

Lord, I need a life.

Yes Judi-a song! Or a puppet show! No, I guess that wouldn't work online.

The wheels on the blog go round and round, round and round, round and round . . .

Yes, yes... a song!

We are the world... we are the children...


Maybe, if we're vewy vewy quiet, Dave won't notice when he gets back. It's fun being bad!

Maybe what's his name from www.timecube.com is attacking and taking over the blog.

After all, when the cat's away, the internet junkies...continue being internet junkies!

Punky-do you have fruit on your head for that song?

I quit agree, m'dear.

Judi-you got some 'splainin to do when Dave gets back!

Hey you can get to the march blog comments by going to march 3rd on the calendar, then click "permanent link to this item"...

Spell checker, working great?...I don't think sew.

But... I'm having fun here! Why do you always have to look to the future! Have fun in the now, I say!

Ok, goin' on a beer run. Who wants a beer? Anyone? Is it too early for that?

Aw, Liesl wins the prize :(

You always were the teacher's pet!

count me in for beer!

I'll have a dry martini, shaken -- not stirred.

Sure, sounds good Punky :)

Where'd everybody go?

*e-pokes you*

Over here..!

Ah yes, December 11. What a lovely day that was.

Beer me.

*e-pokes twopuppies again*

No, behind you!

Everybody poke twopuppies! Eventually he'll go crazy! C'mon, it's be hilarious!

Suddenly, I feel like I'm in that bad Ashton Kutcher movie.

Homer: Aah! OK, don't panic -- remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day.
Abe: If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine.
Homer: Fine. As long as I stand perfectly still anything, I won't destroy the future.
[a mosquito flies in] Stupid bug! You go squish now!

Eyah! Eyah again! I feel so used! (But I like it!)

Also I must add...this is EXCELLANT, cause now I'm calling my bookie, and placing bets on the Super Bowl, and when they stop laughing at me when I tell them New England will go all the way, I'll bet on those Oscars too. Oh! and the outcome of the Democratic primary.

[From the martini experiment link:]

"Objectives: As Mr Bond is not afflicted by cataracts or cardiovascular disease, an investigation was conducted to determine whether the mode of preparing martinis has an influence on their antioxidant capacity."

This made me chuckle. I wonder if Mr. Bond was at all aware of the implications of his choice? "Give me a dry martini, bartender, shaken -- not stirred. Let's keep those nasty cardio diseases in check, shall we?"

[/in a Sean Connery accent, of course]

not only are all the posts from Dec. while the comments are in march...but the last post, though labeled december, links to a synopsis of Will and Grace THIS week.....whoaaaaa.
The good news is, thanks to all those old posts popping up, I was able to be the number one commenter on the snake trial one!

you know, if James Bond had been Amish spy instead of English, he would have drank buttermilk instead of vodka.

shaken, not churned.

also, who in their right mind would put their real email addy on this site? do people realize they are doing this? Dave, you should seriously reconsider this function. I'll mention this again elsewhere as I assume you'll never read this far down the comments section.

well congratulations bex - we're all in awe.

Clearly the blog is on California time - which can spontaneously be thrown back in time several months, as recently approved by the California Supreme Court.

No wonder everyone thinks they're a renegade court.

also, for those of you who are extremely short or born recently...I was making a sublimely sarcastic point in calling myself "Dave." While "Dave" actually is my real name, I am not the almighty blog. He needs to fix this function (as well as the email thing) or there will be idiots all over the place purporting to be "Dave" or "Judi" or whomever. Of course, I'm not one of those idiots, because I actually am named "Dave" (again, not THE Dave, if you're still catching on), and therefore I don't have to purport.

So . . . you're Dave Barry? Is that what you're trying to say?

No, I'm saying you're an idiot if your name isn't Dave. A rampantly purporting idiot. This comments section has turned into a chat room and I don't doubt we'll soon destroy The Herald's bandwidth. I hope we don't get our beloved blog in trouble. So, I'm doing my part, and leaving.

um, calendar?

I like the old Dave better.

Now what?!

Hey, we're on Eastern time...what's up with that? Doesn't everyone realize the world revolves around California? (This would give us quite a wobbly orbit... Wobbly Orbit WBAGNFARB)

Nice acronym. I'll need to use that one in everyday conversation.

Hah! You broke it again.

Oh, and I can't believe this hasn't been done yet:

In A.D. 2004
MT were beginning

Dave Barry: What happen ?
Judi: Somebody set up us the month.
IT person: We get signal.
Dave Barry: What !
Judi: Main screen turn on.
Dave Barry: It's You !!
December: How are you gentlemen !!
December: All your blog are belong to us.
December: You are on the way to destruction.
Dave Barry: What you say !!
December: You have no chance to survive return your time.
December: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
Judi: Dave Barry !!
Dave Barry: Take off every 'Comment'!!
Judi: You know what you doing.
Dave Barry: Move 'Comments'.
Dave Barry: For great booger.

Wow, I've just realized that there are people out there more pathetic than I am, and that every one of them has posted in this thread. Gee whiz. . .

And now, not only are we stuck in December of 2003, we're reliving the stupid internet jokes of late 1999.

We're back in December again?

Yep. December again.

And I thought my AYBABTU parody was funny...

What's going on...

Ooh, it was. However, I never found the time to revisit December after the first time this happened. Now that we're back, I can give you the satisfaction of saying that yes, Randall Wald, that was highly amusing of you.

Crap - I gotta do my Christmas shopping AGAIN?

this isn't a BLOG, its a TARDIS.

David Barry, you fix this blog THIS INSTANT

Stop the madness! Deja vu all over again...

Dave. Come on, now...

Hello....is there anybody in there?

Just nod if you can hear me....

Dave, could you do this for real life also? See there was this girl I met in college, and......well, I won't get into details, but I think I could avoid a pretty bad moment that continues to haunt me......

Now, people, let's get a grip. Since it's December 11, BUY IDSA (Industrial Svc of North America) UP 684%

Buy FMTI UP 300%

Buy DHC UP 213%


We'll be rich, I tell you, rich!

Great site will and grace good show also.

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