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September 30, 2003

WHAT SWITZERLAND HAS BEEN WORKING ON

It has been working on improving the spaghetti plate.

(Thanks to Lisa White)

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However, I have to confess that I laughed hysterically a good bit of the weekend; B2 is very entertaining, especially when he's in drag.

What animal says "Quack Quack"?
What animal says "Meoooow"?
Where does Kathy go when she leaves for the day?

dang...only got two out of three... don't frogs say 'quack quack', too?

Great. Now I want frog legs.

Thanks for the kiss, Di. I'll never wash that cheek again!
*pulls pants back up*

*flosses teeth*

No problem Lab. Anytime. My dentist will be forever grateful for your help.

Rita, I agree that the whole "little girls pageant" thing really creeps me out, especially after JonBenet.

"Pick-me-up" song of the day

*mails Eleanor a soil sample*

kibby darling, it was sly who wanted one. I was just the messenger. :)

*tries to "stop shipment* to Eleanor*

*mails sly soiled sample*

... just what happens when one tries to type a linkie-thingie in rather than a cut & pastie

New Linkie-thingie

Pageants are creepy, especially with the really little girls. Little Miss, Wee Little Miss, Young Miss, ugh ugh ugh.

The things I could play...that I don't. Debbie Boone...You Light Up My Life. Any Pat Boone.

My restraint is admirable.

(And no, I'm not in restraints. NTTAWWT.)

*sees that Susan's ironing panties again - with restraints on*

kinky! ;-)

Thanks for playing this Susan. I sent you a request for this by ESP - glad to know it worked. :)

El, it must have been ESP.

*wonders how Kibby came up with me ironing undies in restraints*

I mean, really. That is soooooooo not a Monday afternoon activity.

Saturday night, maybe.

KIBBY:
Yes and yes.

We now take you back to our regularly scheduled jello pit wrestling, where Susan has just slipped in alongside Eleanor, and they seem to be getting ready to take on Mr. Fisher in a "2 against 1" type battle...

I've got five bucks that says Fish rises to the occasion, finishes first, and comes out on top.

I read DDi's comment as a 1" type battle. A 1" Fish wouldn't put up much of a fight. Just sayin'.

*smooches* Everyone in the MOAT.

Lab - When I lived in VA I gave. I haven't listened much out here in CA until just recently. They were doing the pledge drive so I called in.

Never know Lab, with those two ladies, he may come out behind...

You know, it's not about who comes in first, just as long as everyone finishes before it's over.

We don't have PBS here. I wish we did. :(

*Watches Fish come first at the other end.* Good little (Big) Fishie.

dang...only got two out of three... don't frogs say 'quack quack', too?
Insom - would have been my first guess, too, but I was shouted down by a 2 year old. He doesn't think so, and who am I to argue??

Rita - B2 sounds cute - I hope he doesn't get into pageants, though. No offense to A or your daughter, but I find child pageants incredibly disturbing. I know A is a very grounded little girl (from what I've read) but it's a scary world to live in.

Yes, Kaffy, it is disturbing. I'm not happy that my daughter is so into it, but no matter what is said, she's in it, and she's not changing. It bothers me that she's so rushed and harried when she's getting A ready for the different events, fussing and yelling at A for blinking her eyes or looking at the tv (turn the damn thing off if she can't watch it now). A is now verbalizing that. I've witnessed it all along and tried to soften it when I'm with A alone, but now A is telling me about it later, rolling her eyes.

Some of those women are insane. There are those with kids who will never win, yet they're forced onto stage at every local, state, and national pageant and humiliated and embarrassed when they don't even hit the top 9. And the mothers--"It's rigged." "The judges cheated." You wouldn't believe the crap. At least A has won almost every one she's been in, but that's not a good message either. She was heartbroken that B2 didn't win his "pageant" and cried (she was exhausted; she's only 7!).

Luckily they're only doing a few each year now. A wants to keep doing them, J doesn't she says, but off they go. Insane.

B2 has been in one or two pageants; won one and not the other. It's hard to keep two kids ready to go on stage, especially since the age groups are at different times. And he's definitely not going to keep off the floor and stay clean. So not much chance of him being a pageant king. He escorted A on the stage for her last hurrah, since her daddy stayed at home. He was so happy with the attention, poor baby.

Awwww... I hope it all works out for everyone's best, Rita.

Please resume regular revelry and perversion.. although you can leave some for me later, if you like

What would you do with it if we did?

*pervs and revels*

*squeezes bare bear*

Just a misspelling, that's all.

*stops perving, keeps reveling* Did I mention that my kids gave me a teddy bear for St. Paddy's day? *listens for "awwwwws"* *grins and squeezes bear again*

I could have said "grins and bears it* *listens for groans*

I didn't celebrate St. Paddy's day because, as my friend John pointed out on Friday, I'm not Jewish.

Today is St. Joseph's Day. Is everyone wearing red?

I am. Except my red is green.

Excellent to hear Lab!

I'll bet that makes stoplights interesting in Labville.

Only if I'm all cheesed up wearing the stoplight on St. Whozit's Day.

"wearing the stoplight" sounds like a euphemism.

Cheese Louise; everything sounds like a euphemism these days.

When is St. Whozit's Day? Must be on the 1st.

Yellow Light, Yellow Light what do YOU say?

*wonders what goes on in a yellow light district*

*now has an earworm* (Can you have an ear worm of a book?!) *chases Crash with a can of cheez whiz*

mmmmmmm Cheese Louise

yellow light district=all the drugies who have hepatitis. (they all look yellow)

Hello is this thing on?

Only funny to the doctors you say? Oh well. I tried.

How about yellow light district - where you go for a real quickie? (get it cause everyone speeds up at yellow lights)

Ok I'll stop now.

what goes on in a yellow light district

same as a red light district but slowly and more cautiously!

You got my Cheez Whiz boy?!

Haha sorry.
*Reacts proper now and runs away screaming.*

A yellow light district means the visuals are washed out and the action rushed.

Howdy ya'll.

Lab--I think it was a very conceited smart business decision. You know homeboy is getting his kicks that way.

Or maybe J.Timberlake just annoys the crap out of me. Probably that.

What would you do with it if we did?
Lab - I'd share it with you, and possibly a couple of other Moaties. I share well, and am a firm believer in "the more, the merrier".

On St Joseph's Day, my red was grey. Specifically, a grey t-shirt that has a sketch of a drumset and a pair of guitars, overwritten with the message "I Like The Boys In The Band". So, any boys from the band here?

Now we've defined red- and yellow-light districts, is a green-light district like a red-light district, only more ecologically friendly?

I Propose... ah .... err ... um ...nothing, never mind......

was that a proposition, Kibby? I like ending a (non-custodial) sentence with a proposition. How about you?

Tuesday 10:52 pm
Tuesday 11:52 am

Good night, Kaf. Good morning, Kibby.

Wow, no posts in 2+ hours.

WAKE UP!

*passes around the coffee and donuts*

You are correct Jeff. It's been a helluva alot longer than 2 hours since I posted last.

Also, I need to ketchup, but I'd like to announce two things before I do. One good, the other more fish drama.

1st! We all had a great time Saturday night under the tent at Arnie's with the boys in the band. (and ALL the Guinness I could guzzle) (that all sounded very naughty and I didn't even do it on porpoise)

and

b. I dropped lil fish off at my (STILL not Ex's) mothers house Friday night and I just picked him up again last night. She's already done for her week. WTFBBQ ?????? But I do agree (i think it was mad) with the fact that honestly, he's better off without being around her until she pulls her head out and gets some stability going. Grandma and Grandpa are raising big lil Fish at the moment, while she's semi-moved another 30 miles away to live with yet another guy and his mother in a one bedroom apartment. And for some reason after 7 years, now all of a sudden, I'm not good enough to be his father anymore. again I say, WTFBBQ !!?!
I'm far from perfect, but damn.

/end good bitchin' news

On Fish's 1st...yay! Sounds like it was a fun time.

And on B)...it is best if lil fish isn't around her. And considering how little she's having to do with him, she can't think you're that bad...I think she doesn't know what she wants.

Other than to make your life difficult.

*hands Fish a bottle of Heinz* There you go.

{{{{{Fish}}}}}

Fish, good point. He's way better off with you and away from her.

Ok everybody fess up. Who watched Dancing with the Stars last night? *raises hand*

Worst. Show. Ever. Made. Luckily I was able to TiVo it and skip through the entire 2 hours in about 15 minutes.

Leetie's recap: Clyde Drexler was adorable. Billy Ray Cyrus was embarrassing. Heather Mills wore a very distracting dress and the camera stayed on her upper half most of the time. Paulina Porizkova is still beautiful. Apolo Ohno is still on my "might have the hots for him" list.

/bad TV recap

Understatement of the year (so far): Billy Ray Cyrus was embarrassing.

I burned my finger with a hot glue gun. I thought I was trying to make a fabric-covered bulletin board, but it turns out I was actually making long strings of glue, and blisters.

Sympathy?

That's in aisle 3 Lab, along with the liquid skin, and antibacterial wipes.

Didn't watch it. I watched 24, which was a snoozefest.

Does Billy Ray still have the long hair?

Overheard at the Office:

Tech guy: Yeah, Betty* left a Post-it at my desk because her computer was broken -- it wouldn't turn on, but then when I got there it seemed to be fine.
HR rep: Oh, she actually came to me about it so I just left the Post-it for her just in case, but I'm pretty sure the reason it wouldn't turn on was because she was pressing the big round Dell symbol instead of the start button.

*snork*

And then there's this:

Blonde in scrubs: When people around me are sick and won't stay home I'm not coming to work.
Redhead in scrub: You are a nurse.
Blonde in scrubs: I hate having sick people around me.
Redhead in scrubs: You are a nurse.
Blonde in scrubs: If a person is sick they should stay at home.
Redhead in scrubs: This is a hospital.

My post got erased because I used the word ch@t.

Take two:

Fish, FCDA says this newest action of hers will work to your benefit if she does try to fight for custody. Call me if you want to talk dirty ch@t about the legal ramifications.

Billy Rae Cyrus and his daughter Miley have a TV show. You can watch them every day, if you'd like. Jeff, it's probably worth getting TiV0 for. Talk to Jackie, I'm sure she'll agree.

She's already talking TiVo, but not for Billy Ray Cyrus.

*thinks he'd be better off living with fish too*

Thinks "sleeping with the Fish" is not such a great idea.

For anybody.
Wait.
Maybe somebody's got to.
It's only fair.

Damn double meanings.

12 year old missing Scout - FOUND ALIVE!!!

I heard he's claiming alien abduction.

Lab, I don't doubt it. One news release I saw said he was being "debriefed". For being lost in the woods?

Looks like he managed to earn his Survival merit badge while simultaneously losing his Camping and Navigation merit badges.

Good morning.

{{{Fishy}}} Do you get access visits with Big Li'l Fish? I certainly hope so. Despite what the paperwork says, you're his Dad and in your heart, both of you know it. I think Li'l Fish is best with you at the moment, and (although not for Li'l Fish) I'm glad that the STBX Mrs Fish is showing her true colours. It will work better for you in the long run.

Jeff - Heather Mills & Billy Ray Cyrus longish hair, but (thank goodness!) no mullet!

12 year old missing Scout - FOUND ALIVE!!! - Kibby

I heard he's claiming alien abduction. - «LabSpecimen»

One news release I saw said he was being "debriefed". For being lost in the woods?

Was he anywhere near Area 52? Or perhaps Roswell?

Area 52? Don't you mean Heinz 57?

*sigh*
John Backus has died, at age 82.
*slips his black pocket protector into his shirt pocket*
I declare a moratorium on all parsing for 24 hours in his honor. No one is to use Yacc or Bison, or any regular expressions during this time.

Yeah, that's what I meant, Lab. Thanks! Either that or the 59th St Bridge Song.

RIP John Backus. *attempts to do none of the things that Lab has put a moratorium on*
*realises that it's probably too late for that already*

Or possibly Car 54, Where Are You?

99 Luftballons?

Latest update: Missing Scout Was Not Missing - Just Constipated

We're back. We seem to be out most days from noon to two or three, hence missing Susan's call-in show. But Jackie is working on Thursday so I will get to listen, at last.

Today was way nicer than they said - upper 40s but (as the weather readers would have it) golden sunshine. It was breezy (as predicted) but only intermittently.

Gas price update: oil prices are down to $57 (from $60+) a barrel but prices at the pump are up again, to $2.81.

99 Bottles of Beer

96 tears?

Key quote: Wow. That was like, one really mean dookie.

*slithers in*
Just recovering from the joint BD party we threw for the kids (8, and soon to be 10). We had a critter guy come and give a presentation and share his critters - snakes, lizards, bugs and such. The best by far was the wallaby hopping around my living room. You steer a wallaby, by the way, by holding its tail and pointing it in the direction you wish it to hop.
20 kids. Jeesh.
*slithers out*

Announcement

Mad's work computer d!ckhead people have blocked all of the DB sites, so she said to tell you that blogging will be sporadic.

I miss her already. :(
First Weasel, now Mad. :(

Knock 3 Times?

*rethinks, that number is too small...*

76 Trombones!

5'15

star 69

$3.19

$3.29

220
221
Whatever it takes

5'2, eyes of blue

98.6

634-5789

867-5309

32

212

Heinz 57

It's all six of one, half a dozen to me...

25 or 6 to 1!

42

Random scene from my life: The Brother (who has lived here for 8 months now) asked me last night "Do you (note: not "we") have a hot water cupboard?" I gave him "the look" and said "Yeeees" in the way you'd speak to a particularly slow-witted child. "Where is it?" he asked. Bearing in mind, my entire house is maybe 75sq metres (don't ask me to convert to feet - two bedroom unit-sized though), and there's not a lot of places to hide a hot water cupboard. I said (in the same tone as before) "In the hallway." The hallway is a tad longer than two doorways and has one doorway at either end. One is his room, the other is the hot water cupboard He said "Oh."

Turns out he had wet sneakers that he wanted to dry out. Go figure.

Drip

Dry.

I WANT A WALLABY!

Jamester, that's very cool! Did you get critter poo on the floor?

Trillian, isn't that 25 or 6 to 4?

Cold here this morning. Not very springlike.

So, any bets on who gets the ax on AI tonight?

Or do we not care?

Lab, this one's for you (though others who watch The Food Channel might be interested too). I know I mentioned it before but it's worth re-mentioning it since we were discussing PBS.

Jackie watches a soso British mystery series with a gardening theme called "Rosemary & Thyme" and after the 45 minute episode is over there is a 10 minute episode of Posh Nosh. These star creator Arabella Weir and Richard E. Grant as a very snooty couple - the Wikipedia article is quite accurate.

Watch out for them!

The Posh Nosh website.

I'm still trying to get past "British mystery series with a gardening theme."

could be. *googles*
you are correct sir, 25 or 6 to 4, Chicago

the rhododendron did it!

Due to the complete lack of marketable talent thus far on AI, I am getting behind votefortheworst.com and Howard Stern in calling for Sanjaya to be the next American Idol.

Secondly, my brother's bachelor party is this weekend and we will be going skydiving on Saturday morning. If I have not checked in on Monday morning, it's because I'm dead.

Oh and (just for Trillian), 46 and 2

d@mn rhododendrons!

To think they thought they could get away with it!?

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