ANOTHER SITE THAT WILL DISAPPOINT GUYS WHO CLICK ON IT
(Thanks to Mike Not Mark Seidel)
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July 09, 2003
YES, THE FOURTH IS OVER
But that doesn't mean you can't still get some productive work done here.
ATTENTION, PEOPLE WHO EAT SNAKES AND FROGS
Feeling a little weird?
(Thanks to Elizabeth Vestal)
PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVISORY
Beware of Pictionary Rage.
(Thanks to Marlo Dianne)
LEGAL ADVISORY
If this lawyer sends you a bill, pay it.
(Thanks to John Dodds)
SHOCKING DINOSAUR DISCOVERY
Turns out their skeletons were far more advanced than we thought.
(Thanks again to Claire Martin)
IN AMERICA, THIS GUY WOULD SUE AND WIN MILLIONS
Ouch.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
A GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
The Trash-Raiding Bears.
(Thanks to Jennifer Case)
GUYS ON A MISSION
When people try to tell this blog that young people today have no sense of purpose, this blog snorts and sends them here.
(Thanks to Ben Stein)
TALK ABOUT YOUR INCREDIBLE SHOCKING SURPRISES
Britney says she's not a virgin. That means there's only one major showbiz personality left.
(Thanks to many people)
July 08, 2003
ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A FOREIGN ACTIVITY THAT IS NOT STUPID OR WEIRD AT ALL, BECAUSE IT IS CULTURAL
Check out these photos of festivities in honor of a Spanish town's patron saint, who apparently was not a big lover of animals.
(Thanks to John Dodds)
EMAIL REGARDING THE UTILIKILT
Dave, Does it look to you like that kilt-wearing he-man is welding: rocks and cinder blocks? I wasn't aware that one could do that, even in Seattle. Dave Paul
STATE OF THE UNION
Probably everybody in the world has already seen this, but this blog had not, and this blog enjoyed a hearty electronic chuckle.
(Thanks to Kathryn Moore)
HEADLINE OF THE MONTH SO FAR
(Thanks to Nancy Torborg)
POINTLESS ACTIVITY OF THE DAY
Time to... Poke the Penguin!
(Thanks to Pamela Bodziock)
HOOT MON! THESE WELDING SPARKS ARE GETTING EVERYWHERE!
Presenting: The utilikilt.
(Thanks to Lorna Millen)
WHEN NORWEGIANS GO BAD
And we thought Miami was heartless.
(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)
ATTENTION, TRAVELERS
Check your luggage.
July 07, 2003
A GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Thanks to Ben)
HERE IN SOUTH FLORIDA, WE USE THESE TO COUNT PEDESTRIANS
Meet: The Splatometer.
(Thanks to many people)
THIS BLOG WOULD NEVER HAVE MADE IT TO THE SECOND GRADE
A crackdown (Har!) in China.
(Thanks to many people)
TECHNOLOGY UPDATE
We live in wonderful times.
(Thanks to Peter Watson)
PRODUCTIVITY TIP OF THE DAY
Dave, The helicopter game you linked to has been haunting me. Some force has been preventing me from getting past 400. Last night, on my 21st birthday, I drank approximately half the liquor in Columbus, Ohio. This morning: 1200. 1200!!!!!!! Lauren Plaine
HOPE FOR THE MIDDLE EAST
Coming soon: glowing camels.
(Thanks to Judi Smith and probably a lot of other people but this blog is way the hell behind on checking the email and will never catch up)
ATTENTION, ACADEMY OF MOTION PICTURE ARTS AND SCIENCES
Here is your early front-runner for best picture.
(Thanks to Gary Thorn)
SCIENTIFIC PROOF
There is a God, and He does not like body piercings.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
SOMETHING THE INVENTORS OF THE INTERNET NEVER COULD HAVE FORESEEN, AND IF THEY HAD, THEY PROBABLY WOULD NOT HAVE INVENTED IT
(Thanks to Chris Miller)
SPIDERS ON DANGEROUS SUBSTANCES, CONT.
Here is the missing page.
(Thanks to Todd Edmunds)
WHY GUYS ARE TOO BUSY TO HELP WITH THE HOUSEWORK
They are doing important projects.
(Thanks to Philip Luckey)
WHY DOGS WILL SOON BE WANTING COMPUTERS
Contrary to what this blog said earlier, you CAN receive smells over the Internet.
(Thanks to Matth Rathman)
ATTENTION, RHODE ISLAND
Keep an eye out for Slick.
July 06, 2003
ADVISORY
They say that if you have a blog, you should try to post something every day.
July 05, 2003
ADVISORY
Blogging will continue to be light this weekend as we continue to formally observe the burrrrrrrpppppppp excuse us, the birthday of the nation.
We are spending the weekend at a beach hotel on the west coast of Florida, where last night we witnessed an interesting incident. We went out to dinner, during which it rained really, really hard for about an hour. When we got back to the hotel, we saw, parked out front, a Bentley convertible sitting in the rain with the top down. We pointed this out to a bellman, who said the hotel staff had told the car owner -- who was (surprise!) in the bar -- several times that his car was turning into a Jacuzzi, and the owner had stated that he had three other Bentleys at home and did not care.
About 15 minutes later, the owner -- a guy in his 60s in expensive leisure clothes and a bad mullet hairstyle -- came out with his wife. They got into the car and drove off, in the rain, with the top still down.
July 04, 2003
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY
Have fun. Remember what makes this country great.
July 03, 2003
PRODUCTIVITY UPDATE
Study after study shows that the employee who gets ahead in a company is the employee who knows how to throw rescue umbrellas to falling chicks.
(Thanks to Jennifer Walter)
WHEW
Always good to see the smiley face here.
URGENT MESSAGE TO HAMPTON-AREA COWS
(Thanks to Theresa Hogue)
ATTENTION, OFFICE PROFESSIONALS
Here is an exciting productivity tool.
(Thanks to Linda Anderson)
BEER COMMERCIAL OF THE WEEK
It has all four key elements: (1) Beer, (2) Hot babes, (3) Cursing, (4) Beer.
(Thanks to Mike Lindsey)
PRODUCTIVITY UPDATE
Hardworking professionals looking for a suite of proven time-management applications will want to check around to make sure management is not lurking near the cubicle before clicking here.
(Thanks to Dan Koss)
TERRORISM UPDATE
An alarming breach of the vital Canadian border.
(Thanks to Marlo Dianne)
AMAZING SCIENCE FACT OF THE DAY
Dung beetles use the moon to navigate.
(What this blog wants to know is: Where the hell do dung beetles need to navigate to?)
(Thanks to Ben)
OLDER MOTORISTS UPDATE
Here in South Florida, this guy would be a driving instructor.
(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)
AIR CONDITIONING UPDATE
Yayyyy. The Big Sweating Truck-Driving Men Who Can Actually Do Useful Things With Their Hands are here installing a "new unit," which means that, if all goes well, before the day is over the temperature inside this blog's house will drop below the 127-degree mark it has been stuck on SINCE MONDAY. This is a very nice present, especially today, which happens to be this blog's birthday. Later on, this blog is going to "Kick out the jams' and celebrate by -- really -- going to the dentist. It doesn't get any better than this!
July 02, 2003
UH-OH
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
THIS BLOG IS IN AWE
This man is a god.
(Thanks to a number of people)
ATTENTION, TRAVELERS GOING TO ITALY
Be advised that you are limited to two monkeys, and your turtles must be small.
(Thanks to Brian Giovannini)
Mr. Dave, When I clicked on the GREATEST PRODUCT NAME EVER, my corporate access blocker give me the following message: "The Websense category 'Supplements and Unregulated Compounds' is filtered." I thought this was funny, since that's the message I get when I search for places to buy illegal anabolic steroids. I thought you might enjoy that. Matt Gwilliam Houston, TX P.S.: 2356 P.P.S.: The "Unregulated Compounds" WBAGNFARB. P.P.P.S.: I'm a big fan of yours, but I've bought a treadmill so that I can become a medium-sized fan.
ATTENTION, BRIDESMAIDS
Can you top these?
(Thanks to Lisa Motherwell)
UPDATE: GUYS IN ACTION
As somebody once said, there's a fine line between a hobby and a mental illness.
(Thanks to many people)