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June 30, 2003


It turns out there is a fly out there that causes lumpy squirrels.

(Thanks to Isabelle Briand)

(And, yes, this blog is well aware that "Lumpy Squirrels" would be a good name for a rock band)


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I vote for this as the new moat!

Found it!!!

*zips in*

Hey Mad, how ya doin'?

*zips out to send Mad an e-mail*

Lumpy squirrels! Ha ha ha!

I, too, would be a friend to man but I never get any takers.

Mad and I live here now. Are the rest of you coming? And are you going to follow us?

forwarding Mad's e-mail to sly.....

woohoo slyeyes!!!!
I posted on hottub and yahoo
that should be enough bread crumbs
Please email it to those you know need it.
I have to zip off now. See everyone in the morning.

*makes note to bookmark new moat*

Me too, me too - I'll e-mail too, OK, OK???? And we'll just disappear from the old MOAT, and if we see MOATies there, we can e-mail them, right?

*brilliant FCDA mind at work*

*zips out to check e-mail*

sounds good to me. I'm really going this time. Just emailed woofie. I expect this place to be full when I return.

*vanishes in a pool of yellow oozzzeeeeee*

umm that would be wolfie. in no way do I think she is a woofie.

Great clue, Mad -- Follow the MAD hatter down the hole.

*peeks in hole*



Got nuthin, just wanted to say that.

Wondering what to call the new bookmark...


MadMOAT sounds good to me! I second it!

Ty Mad and Sly.
Yall are my favorites ya know. Awesome people around these parts.. absolutely awesome.
A friend to man? That's like all us female bloglits isn't it?

That's what I called it, Sandy.

BTW, you may have noticed I'm here and NOT at the Dave Barry thing.

I don't deserve to be there.

I woke up too late this morning to take the bus. So, I was sitting in downtown traffic, intending to go and see if I could wrangle a ticket. I was listening to my audiobook on my iPod...and the next thing I know, I'm on my way home. By the time I realized it, too damn late.

CRS hit out of the blue!


I'm Not Worthy!!

*sobs for sly*

That's not CRS. That's the insidious AutoPilot. Hard to get it to turn off when you need to seize control...

*fixes sly a MOATarita*

Here sly, I set up the hammock - come sit with me - I have Godiva chocolates!!!

*wonders if iPods are actually a brain control device being promulgated by Apple to turn us all into Microsoft haters*

*wonders what the relevance of diverting Sly to home instead of to the DB night is all about - perhaps a test run to see if really stong desires can be overriden*

*realises we all hate Microsoft anyway*

*ponders what Apple *actually* has in store for us*

*vows never to buy an iPod*

*still weighing the cost of ipod vs owning something that demands stroking all the time*

It hasn't been necessary for me to stroke my own iPod the last several days.


Oh, Just is gone, isn't she?

I had wanted to ask her if her impending joblessness was due to maternity leave.

Yes it is, sly - maternity leave

Last day is May 13th, will be back in the office July 18th.

What Just said when I asked her today -

OK, I missed that. thanks.

You didn't miss it - it was an e-mail - I'm just the nosy sort!

Did someone e-mail kibby? I should have his e-mail now that we are partners in our KibEl Detective Agency, but I don't!


I e-mailed Kibby, Brat, Sandy, Wolfie


*off to send more e-mails*

I sent YIM offlines with the link to Marvin, Tamara, Blogchik, Deon, Josh, Kibby, Wysi, Fish and Neo.
Everyone from the Moat who is on my list in fact. I love group spammage.

Some people are going to get lots of emails, some may get forgotten. How do we make sure everybody who needs to know, knows?

(and thank you Eleanor and Wolfie, for letting me know!)

I'm getting ready to head out -- but I suggest going through the Y group.

I've also sent to Crash, wurm, BrianB

Maybe we could have a Moat scribe to go through the Y and send out messages.

DJT, polly, punky, elle, boo, Lab -- well, everyone is listed.

Pssst, Wolfie - you have mail.....

Hey, I'm just wondering...why did we leave the other MOAT? there were only 1625 posts...Seems to me like we could have stuck out a little longer...

(also, we were only at that MOAT for 9 days)

Marvin, From what I saw, Peri was finding it a bit slow, but the real reason was that a link to the MOAT had been posted on the MB so we jumped MOATs without leaving any cookie crumbs this time. Well, not obvious ones anyway.

I e-mailed Jeff Meyerson, Susan, Smarvin and some of the others you mentioned - did I say my blogchik came back?

We were worried that our StealthMoatCloakingDevice™ might have failed us.

Pssstttt shhhhhhhh.. I got it.. and returned it you impatient thing.

Right, wys, but the MOAT has been linked to before, and I don't get why it's any different this time. I wouldn't think that the types of people who would take the time to follow the links (and have the know how to keep track of where they're going) wouldn't be the types of people we don't want to talk to. Or something like that.

*floats in on a cloud*

Gather 'round, ye Moaties, and listen to me blather on and on about myself and waste moat-space!

I went to high school with GUY (not his real name), who at the time was dating my best friend's sister. Sometime efter high school, I picked GUY's email address off a bulk mail sent by my best friend to all his contacts & sent him a short message, and we started to get to know each other a little. This was nearly six years ago--before I got married--and I was too dense to understand that GUY might like me as, like, more than, like, just, like, you know, like, a friend. [Looking back on the old emails, I just want to SMACK myself, but, at the time, I thought he was too amazing for me, and anyway he may have still been dating the sister.]

So I eloped with the Soon-To-Be-Ex (and NOW I realize the reason for BIG WEDDINGS is so that COOL GUYS get to find out about it first and have the chance to beg you not to), and, for the next five years, I kept GUY on my Family Updates Bulk Email list, & he would sent the occasional & appropriate (read: "frustratingly sporadic" and, well, "appropriate") email reply.

POINT IS: He is an awesome person, and I still kinda-almost think he's too good for me, although I don't know him all that well; I just know that I like his brain.


1) He knows I'm divorcing.
2) He's responded to every email this week with utter promptness.
3) I just woke up from a nap where I dreamed he gave me his phone number in an email.
4) And I woke up to find he has added me to his Y!IM contacts!

*dies and goes to Heaven*

PS Thanks for the link, Wolfie!

At this point in time I can certainly say, with a certain degree of certainty, that I got the secret signal, indeed.

{{{hugs Eleanor and slyeyes and neo for the emails}}}

(Even though my hotmail seemed to think Eleanor and sly were junk. They are never junk to me.)

(And I'm not really here now since I'm getting some work done.) (But I will be back in the morning)

{{{hugs to all}}}

You're most welcome Tamara *hughug*.

Marvin: Things on this MOAT have gradually become more personal, sometimes. It's not that we're unfriendly or clique-y or anything, it's just that it can be uncomfortable when a bunch of new people come bouncing in. Also, some of the people who post on the MB seem to be a bit controversial, and we really don't need that here. I think we have an unspoken agreement that new folks should be invited on an individual basis, so that all of our personal moments don't get laid out for all and sundry.

I may have this wrong.

I just wondered into the living room; and the TV is on TBS. They had a very long trailer of the Hitchhiker movie.

Apparently, the main character was the porno-movie stand-in character in "Love Actually".

Good night all.

*sneaks GPS device in plank of the Moat in the event it moves again during the night*

*but first, sneaks over to sleeping Kibby, and replaces 9 mm under pillow with a can of Silly String*

That'll be unexpected if he needs to draw his weapon.
*giggles* I'm talking bout Kibby's weapon.

Peri ~ I think you have it exactly correct. But then again, I could be wrong too. Also, I have March if you want it too.

G'nite Moaties. Tired wolfie draggin her tail into bed now. *Hugz whole Moat*
*vanishes into shadows*

Have we invited reneviht?


I walked into the production room to, well, produce the news. I pushed the little button to turn on the monitor for one of the computers. One I really need to get the news in the system.


The monitor is D-E-D. Completely and utterly. The little light doesn't light up to show it's on, or that it's on and the computer isn't. Booger. There is another monitor or two around here, somewhere, but the way I feel, 11:30 at night is not the time to try swapping the monitors. I'll drop one, or fry another one, or something. Fortunatly I could find the file I wanted and could record the new file over it. As far as I know anyway. There will be at least two people here in the morning, one of whom I know can swap the monitors. (Or just go get us a new flatscreen or something)

Some nights technology is not my friend.

*looks at computer clock*

Crap. Only 2pm. 3 more hours before POETS day finishes and I can escape for drinkies.

*drums fingers on table while watching clock*


I left a final post at the old MOAT to e-mail me if anyone came looking for us.

How about Kaf? I don't have her e-mail address...

sandy, the new link's on the Y! already. That's how I got here. You could always just tell everyone to check there.

And Peri, if that's not the right explanation, I nominate it as the new official one, because that would be my reason.

bangi (and anyone else wondering), you people are more excited than me! I said "sometime this weekend." There has been no date yet.

Now I have to go back to finishing a term paper I blew off while sick until the last possible moment. I'll be in and out sporadically, probably every hour or so.

(hehehe, I said I'll be "in and out." ;-) )

OOOO, an old one.
I just got back from H2G2!

I liked it, didn't EXACTLY follow the book, but it was close.
hehe 2 things:

Opening Credits

hey, weird, my comment stayed in the box...
Oh and I finished my finals,
can I get a woot woot?

LTTG: I love my iPod, take it everywhere, and even bought radio broadcaster so I could use it in the car.
Now my life is even more like a movie because I have my own soundtrack.

I must take leave of you now.
Steve Jobs is telling me to go to sleep.

I am here, thanks to El and Neo.

Thanks guys!

...and since no one has yet christened this MOAT, I'm going to go ahead and put it into my bookmarks as: Lumpy SqOAT

finally, if anybody is not on Mr. Fishair's joke list, I have posted the latest video clip involving idiots and flammability on my livej0urnal. But since the Herald does not like the word livej0urnal.c0m, please click here and follow the crumbs.

whoops, thanks also to crash, whose facebook message I just received.

*decides he better keep an eye on the company books*

Had this terrible moment last night. I suddenly woke to a noise in the room and ended up with silly string all over the lamp! I've NO idea where it came from.

*goes to unpack from the silent move*

Imagine a link here to Joecartoon frog in a blender game.
*Kicks net filter*

G'mornin Kibby and anyone else who's awake and blurking.

*Wheels in cart loaded down with Dunkin Donuts goodies* Happy Friday. I got trapped at D&D this mornin so I picked up a lil something for everyone.

Good morning!

Channeling Rhealist:

Thanks for the update. Currently wandering through Europe. Right now in Milan, which is apparently where normal people go to feel short, fat, ugly, underdressed and poor. Surrounded by supermodels and the rich old men who buy them. Must leave. Back home in a couple of weeks, so please keep sending the MOAT addy updates.



I'd like to point out that there's a few of us MOATies that have made it here on our own ambitions. And there's a those that have been invited. And we've welcomed ALL regardless of their Mode of Discovery.

The "General Observance Rule" states that MOATies do not advertise the MOAT on the MB. That does not prevent others from doing so.

And we should not be confused with enterprising individuals that have found us on their own initative - it's happened before, it should again.

We should be proud of comments like "This frenzy has been christened by scholars as the "Dave Barry's MOAT effect"." Who's heard it put better? HANDS!? And this is allot better than Kaye Trammell's "....they just don't get it...".

Now, I don't know MM or Cynthia, but IF they show up, I - for one - will treat them with the same coconut bras, beanie caps and MOATaritas as I've treated everyone else.

*returns to the last MOAT to leave cookie crumb to kibby's addy for MM & Cynthia*

Nicely put.

*removes a bit of green Silly String dangling from Kibby's ear*

As one who found the MOAT by following bread crumbs, it makes me feel kind of weird to suddenly switch to an invitation-only place.

** Enters the MOAT doing happy dance becaues its Friday ***

Hmm..... my compliments to the team that tore down the previous MOAT and moved everything here. Looks good.

What iteration is this I wonder.


Punky: Hi.

Bouncer: Name?

Punky: Punky Brewster

Bouncer: Baldwin ... Baryshnikov ... Bates ... Berry ... Bronson ... Nope. No Brewster.

Punky: What? Really? How sad ... I didn't make the cut ...

*turns to see a delivery truck unloading popsicles, coconut bras, tequilla, limes and jello to the swanky building next door*

Punky: *smirks* Nevermind ... wrong party. Toodles.

*tippy toes next door to extend person invitations to Bronson, Baldwin(good looking one only) and Baryshnikov*

*expects to see Kibby and Brat to tippy toe over later to extend invitation to Berry*

personAL invitations.



*Pushes stacks of chips over to sly*
Way to bankrupt the house within the first hours. Now I'm going to have to rent myself out to pay the liqour bill.
*Sticks 'For Rent' postit on forehead* But I don't do windows.

kibby F5™ - Here, here.
Is that the way the Brits express approval....whatever.

I came to the first iteration of the MOAT as a wet-behing the ears blurker, by folowing breadcrumbs from the MB. Two things about this, and then I'll shut up (not bloddy likely).
Nervousness about the MOAT being found is IMHO energy wasted. NOTHING on the internet is confidential or private unless you are behind a LOT of firewalls and other stuff. It's like e-mail. Unless it is encrypted, you better not put anything in it you would not like read to the world.
As Jeff has pointed out to me (very correctly), this IS the Dave Barry MOAT. We would be just another weblog without the connection to the MB, and the infusion of bright, witty, frindly people that occasional breadcrumbs leading from there to here brings.

How's that for a run-on sentence....whew

So .... end of Brat lecture. Relax folks, pull up a bean bag chair or flop down on a raft in the MOAT and enjoy the fun.


Josh returns TOMORROW!

Also: Reneviht? Been invited yet? Hello?

That is all!

Punky! Get your cute butt back here. If there was ever a MOAT bouncer, you would be it. But there ain't, won't be and you know it.

ooh, ohh! *runs up to Wolfie, waving a stack of money*

What?! I need to rent-a-wolf. Besides.. um... it's for a friend.

Punky! Get your cute butt back here. If there was ever a MOAT bouncer, you would be it. But there ain't, won't be and you know it.

*goes to front door to Personally open it for Punky*


I like people running up to me with stacks of money.
*replaces 'For rent' with 'Sold'*
Take me neo.... I'm all yours. Does that sound kinda bad? Ah well. Friend? w00t©!

Tamara ~ I've never invited anyone myself. Nor technically, been invited my own self.
I was one of the ones who found the Moat on my own and blurked for a number of Moats before getting brave enough to speak.

Also, I was scared to invite someone who I'd get yelled at for inviting. Caps scare me *shivers*
But then, I'm a scaredie wolfie by nature.

Brat: who the F*** are you

Bouncer: I'm the bouncer

Brat: Bullsquatchy!
Tosses the bouncer back into cyberspace.

And Don't come back unless you can play nicely with the other children!

Brat dusts his hands off and walks back toward the cabana, and the team unloading the supplies

Look folks, this is the MOAT, not a 5 star hotel, just drop things anywhere.

Goes off looking for Punky with a pitcher of MOATaritas......

Here punky, punky, punky, nice brewster. Look what Brat's got for you!

wolfie, a women in wolves clothes? THAT's scarey!

Not that I have any experience with that..... nosiree!

*blows nose and silly string comes out*


*Tosses Kibby F5™ a hanky. Freshly ironed*
Scarey? Me?
*falls off chair laughing*

Awwwwww crapweasel.....22 - bust!
pushes chips over to sly

Awwwwww crapweasel.....22 - bust!
pushes chips over to sly

Double down?

Double down?

Whispers.. Brat's gotta nice bust

The bouncer was next door to the Moat.

WE have a doorman/greeter.

*brushes epaulets on doorman costume, whispers to Isaac* today you're a doorman/greeter, ok?

*** Rumour Mill ***

Thanks, I'll pass along the compliment to Mrs. Brat.

Hmmm...wonder it that really refered to my blackjack hand. If so, very punny

Sly - Hit me.

Later, gaters. I brought the laptop today, so hopefully I can listen to the Sharecroppers All Request Hour.

See y'all at lunch!

*exits, counting winnings*

Later, gaters. I brought the laptop today, so hopefully I can listen to the Sharecroppers All Request Hour.

See y'all at lunch!

*exits, counting winnings*

Ty Brat. To pun is devine. Or bovine. Or something like that.
Sticky pun maybe? With frosting?

*zips in and puts notice on MOAT bulletin Board*

The KibEl Detective Agency has set up a branch office in the kochalyn which has been moved to this new MOAT. We are there for all MOATies 24/7, except when we are not.

*zips out to buy ammo for Glock*

*strolls into the KibEl Detective Agency*

Oooh, nice bits!

Hmmm...I got the "out" part down, but not the back "in" half. The caffeine didn't work.

So, good morning!

*zips in*
*appropriates NorthWestSouthEastNorth wall of MOAT for "Hunk" posters*
*puts up posters of A-Rod, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Antonio Banderas*

Hey MOATettes, there's plenty more room -put up your favorites!
Would it be OK if I put up a pic of The Donald?

*Tacks up Val Kilmer poster in a corner near a shadow*

*Reaches out a hand from the shadow n strokes it*
(The poster I mean. And just what did you think I meant? I still don't have an ipod needing stroking.)

*Vanishes into shadows to find her toy box*

*walks in pushing cart stocked with Moatarita's*

Hi guys! I found ya, though I'm not sure if I was wanted or not... Tamara sent me the link, so if you didn't want me around, yell at her! ;)

One question though, who put up a link on the MB to the blog?

*notices date on calendar*

*begins sobbing*

*returns to blurking status to finalize reports for fiscal year end*

I meant the MOAT, not the blog.

*smacks self and goes back to blurking*

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