DATELINE, SECRET UNDISCLOSED LOCATION --

I have arrived here, although for security reasons I cannot tell you where "here" is, other than to describe it as "a large western state whose last name is Fornia." I will be here for several days on a secret undisclosed project that I cannot reveal anything about at this time.

When I got here, the rental-car guy told me he was tired because he got only one hour of sleep last night.

"I used to be what you would call very married for like four-and-a-half years," he said. "But then my wife split from me, so I'm single, and it's like, FUN, you know?"

I assured him I have no idea what he is talking about.