Dave Barry's Blog

AND IN SPORTS

The popular poker player and YouTuber known only as Sashimi was competing in a live stream event this week called 'Max Pain Monday' when the nip-slip happened - but it turned out she was wearing a prosthetic body suit and the breasts that went on display were fake.

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

'DO NOT LET YOUR PETS ROAM FREE'

What are people saying about a giant python roaming the streets of Doral? ‘Stay away’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ALWAYS A SOLID LEGAL STRATEGY

Dearborn man charged in antisemitic incident has bond revoked after mooning judge

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHEN YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO RETIRE

Legendary San Diego sword swallower hospitalized with slashed abdominal cavity, pierced liver

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

BOLO

German police seek help in solving bull sperm heist

(Thanks to Ralph)

SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE PINCHING

Birth control made with compounds from LOBSTERS blocks 98 PERCENT of the nearly 100 million sperm trying to penetrate the cervix

(Thanks to pharmaross)

A JOB WE DID NOT KNOW EXISTED

Intimacy coordinator shares how she helps actors look naked on TV

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

FINE DINING, FLORIDA STYLE

Chez Waffle House

Advisory If You Click On The Video, Which You Definitely Should: Bad words.

(Thanks to Lynn Goodfriend and pharmaross)

MAYBE THE MOST FLORIDAN FLORIDA MAN EVER

We can't even.

(Thanks to Holland Daze)

THAT SHOULD DO IT

A vegan campaigner is set to run from dawn to dusk on the Winter Solstice in memory of the turkeys slaughtered for Christmas dinner this year.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

STAND TALL, KENAI MAN

Kenai man has the nation’s 19th-best mullet

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

LOOKING FOR A FUN WAY TO APPEAR TO BE WORKING WHEN YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT?

Try launching asteroids at Earth!

(Thanks to John Lobert)

POLICE HAVE SOMETHING TO GO ON

A Chicago cop vacationing in Florida was arrested early yesterday after being caught urinating into an ice machine at a beachside bar

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

WE’RE NUMBER THREE

2022’s Most Fun Cities in America

AND IN SPORTS II

Navy carries out secret mission to drop ping pong balls on Army rivals ahead of annual football game

(Thanks to The Perts)

AND IN SPORTS

Rattlesnake found in ball dispenser at Arizona Topgolf

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUESS THE CONTINENT

Huge deadly brown snake with super-strength is captured lurking in an everyday suburban backyard

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HEH HEH HEH II

Volkswagen’s Italian branch — which goes by Volkswagen Italia — was mocked by social media users after the car dealership launched its Instagram handle “@volkswagenitalia.”

(Thanks to Ralph)

YA THINK?

The three-day suspension of a Longueuil nurse sanctioned for eating a slice of toast with peanut butter while on duty has been rescinded after the local health authority admitted  “the measure was too severe for the act committed.”

(Thanks to B&C)

HEH HEH HEH

“We don’t want people to get the wrong idea when we say stuff like, ‘Put your Beaver to work’ or ‘Put this Beaver to your lips and take a sip.’ Our Beaver is just great-tasting water from the mountains of Beaver, Utah. So, get your mind out of the gutter and put this Beaver in your mouth, why don’t you?” added Hunt.

(Thanks to pharmaross)