Dave Barry's Blog

MEANWHILE IN PHUKET

Frenchman Arrested in Phuket for Illegal Laughing Gas Sales

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

AND IN SPORTS

Runner finishes last in 400m sprint after his 'penis comes out in the middle of the race'

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

FORTUNATELY NOT *GOOD* BEER

Truck overturns on Florida highway, spills 44,000 pounds of beer

(Thanks to MOTW, who says "Emergency pretzel and chip trucks are en route.")

IT WAS THAT OR PICKLEBALL

Central NY couple builds 8,000-pound igloo on Oneida Lake to fulfill childhood dream

(Thanks to RonT)

WITHOUT A TICKET

"What the hell is my cat doing in Waterloo getting on trains and going for a ride?"

(Thanks to B&C)

ART ALERT

'£24.8m' taped bananas appear in village

(Thanks to Ralph)

HARD TO TELL THESE DAYS

DFW Airport says 'Electronic Genital Verification' notice is not real

(Thanks to Ralph)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Disney’s ‘It’s a Small World’ ride to get new song lyrics

Mother Earth unites us in heart and mind

And the love we give makes us humankind

Through our vast wondrous land

When we stand hand-in-hand

It’s a small world after all.

(Thanks to pharmaross) (For the news item, not the lyrics)

FLORIDAAAAAAA

Driver passed out at gas pumps wakes up, bites Fla. deputy, K-9

(Thanks to pharmaross)

A HOUSE WITH A VIEW

A real estate agent in Scottsdale, Arizona was showing a home when she and the prospective homebuyers came across a wild scene—a bobcat fighting a rattlesnake on the sidewalk.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BEAVERS ARE BASICALLY OBESE AQUATIC SQUIRRELS

'Vast amount of water': Beaver dam blamed for 2023 Maine train derailment

(Thanks to Rick Day)

BARNEY?

3-foot-long purple footprint found pressed in clay on coast of UK island, photo shows

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

WHY THE 7-ELEVEN HAD NO PANTS WE'LL NEVER KNOW

Drunk Florida man hits a pole and sits outside of 7-Eleven with no pants

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

148 pounds of crystal meth found in stone landscaping pavers in North Carolina

Venomous Snake Found Inside Box of Bananas at New Hampshire Grocery Store

(Thanks to MOTW, EricY and pharmaross)

ATTENTION MUSIC LOVERS

Vomit Forth announcing routing dates between Chaos and Carnage tour

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says “Mark your calendar or carve a notch on your hand.”)

GUESS THE CONTINENT

Professional Snake Catcher Stunned to Find Snake Hiding in Person's Pillow: 'This Is a First'

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE KNOW THEY’RE AMERICAN, BECAUSE THEY HAVE FLORIDA DRIVERS’ LICENSES

American Crocodiles Are Thriving in Florida’s Nuclear Power Plant Cooling Canals

(Thanks to pharmaross)

‘PALEONTOLOGISTS CAN BE PRONE TO TOILET HUMOR’

Dinosaur Domination Is Marked in a Timeline of Vomit and Feces Fossils"

(Thanks to Annette)

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

Sum 41 fans gobsmacked after realising what band's name actually means after 28 years

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says “Should I be gobsmacked? Because I’ve never heard of this band.”)

NOBODY SUSPECTS A CAPYBARA

Peruvian policeman in capybara costume makes Valentine's drug bust

(Thanks to Allen at Division)