October 24, 2020

FYI

Happy Endings Could Mess Up Your Brain's Decision-Making, Study Says

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says "Most misleading headline of the day so far.")

Posted by Dave on October 24, 2020 at 11:40 AM
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THIS IS THE THANKS YOU GET

Man Arrested After Calling 911 To Alert Authorities About Alien Invasion

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 24, 2020 at 11:32 AM
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EVENTUALLY HE'LL MAKE CHANGE

Gainesville police arrested a man who stole and ate a woman’s $5 bill.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 24, 2020 at 11:23 AM
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YOU KNOW WHO IS BEHIND THIS

Walmart store evacuated when skunk wanders inside

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 24, 2020 at 11:16 AM
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THERE IS NO FUN LIKE SCIENTIST FUN

Scientists Drive Tiny Robot Around Inside Living Butthole

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 24, 2020 at 11:06 AM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE TROGGS

Escaped cloned female mutant crayfish take over Belgian cemetery

(Thanks to pharmaross and AmoebaStampede, who says "We might as well just shred the Crustatucean.")

Posted by Dave on October 24, 2020 at 11:04 AM
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STAND WITH ME, AMERICA

You can be in the cabinet.

DB4prez

Posted by Dave on October 24, 2020 at 10:58 AM
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AND THEN PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

'Hey, crap, this bird is alive!' Driver describes how bald eagle came back to life in back seat of his van

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 24, 2020 at 10:44 AM
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October 23, 2020

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER T-SHIRT

The World's Largest Air Cannon

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on October 23, 2020 at 03:59 PM
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OOPS

A young couple who once dined at the Big Apple’s iconic Balthazar couldn’t bottle up their emotions after ordering an $18 Pinot Noir — but being served a $2,000 Mouton Rothschild instead by accident, the eatery’s owner recounted this week.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 23, 2020 at 03:18 PM
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AS FORETOLD IN THE OLD TESTAMENT

A pig appears in Brooklyn.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who wants to send it to Washington.)

Related: The City of Tallahassee Animal Service Center says they have rescued a pig who was living in a fraternity house.

Statement made by a person who apparently has never been in a frat house: "...pigs aren't meant to live in frat houses..."

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on October 23, 2020 at 10:08 AM
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THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

A giant inflatable Borat has taken over the Toronto waterfront

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 23, 2020 at 08:52 AM
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IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO PUT ON A MASK AND GO

Florida man accused in cocaine bust was ‘only selling due to COVID’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 23, 2020 at 08:50 AM
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GET BACK TO US WHEN THEY LOCATE GOLDFINGER

Declassified Files Reveal a Possible Spy in Poland—Named James Bond

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on October 23, 2020 at 08:45 AM
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October 22, 2020

WE MIGHT AS WELL SET FIRE TO THE BILL OF RIGHTS

Men arrested for alleged plan to shoot bowling balls out of cannon

Key Detail: Marijuana, two glass pipes and liquid THC were also found truck, according to the report.

(Thanks to Ranald Adams)

Posted by Dave on October 22, 2020 at 04:35 PM
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CANCEL THAT TRIP TO THE MAGIC KINGDOM

Kalamazoo’s new $107K outdoor public restroom opening soon

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 22, 2020 at 01:49 PM
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SOUNDS KIND OF EXTREME

Court orders California to cut San Quentin inmates by half

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "I’m wondering if the inmates get to choose which half they get to keep.")

Posted by Dave on October 22, 2020 at 11:03 AM
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CSI: HAWKINS COUNTY, TENN.

...a deputy noted handprints that “seemed consistent with a monkey"

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "send that monkey to Washington.")

Posted by Dave on October 22, 2020 at 10:27 AM
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OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER

We Finally Know What a Dinosaur’s Butthole Looks Like

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 22, 2020 at 10:25 AM
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IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Ft. Pierce woman claims wind blew cocaine into her purse

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 22, 2020 at 10:21 AM
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