Dave Barry's Blog

CANADA CONTINUES ITS TERRIFYING DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO TOTAL ANARCHY

Camper stinking mad over public pooping eviction

(Thanks to The Perts)

THERE IS NOTHING LOWER

Butterfly thieves handed $200,000 fine

(Thanks to B&C)

TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT THE BICYCLE SEATS

Friends causing stir with six-day naked tandem bike trip

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

HOLD OFF ON THAT MORTGAGE PAYMENT

'God of Chaos' asteroid could knock Earth out of solar system

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THEN IT'S SETTLED: IN JANUARY WE INVADE

Canadian Army says new military sleeping bags not suitable for 'typical Canadian winter'

(Thanks to The Perts)

UPDATE ON CRUMBS THE CELEBRITY OBESE RESCUE CAT

38-pound rescue cat Crumbs gets stuck in shoe rack while trying to escape from fat camp: ‘He caused a ruckus’

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

THE WORD IS 'HEROES'

Lifeboat crew praised for rescuing missing dummy

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

AND IN SPORTS

How a small town in Derbyshire became the toe-wrestling capital of the world

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

THEY GROW UP SO FAST

13-foot Burmese python seized from New York home, owner unprepared for how fast snake grew

(Thanks to MOTW)

SO WHO DID SHE CALL?

Policing Minister Dame Diana Johnson’s handbag was stolen while she was at a conference for senior police officers on Tuesday.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

YOU'RE ALL DOING IT WRONG

The ideal amount of time to spend having sex revealed in new study

(Thanks to Jim Perth, who says "Thank God for sexperts.")

THERE IS NOTHING MORE UNNATURAL THAN NATURE

'Stout' Snake Gets Collected for Nature Survey. Then It Vomits Up Two More Snakes — One Living!

(Thanks to MOTW)

SO THAT'S A NO

Man tries to convert lions to Jesus, gets bitten

(Thanks to Ralph)

UPDATE: It has been brought to this blog's attention that this item is old. Judi etc. 

CLEANUP ON AISLES SIX THROUGH NINE

Car smashes through entrance of Scots supermarket as shoppers left horrified

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

JUST STOP

Would you eat insects if they were tastier?

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

*WHAT* KIND OF COCOA?

Experience feel of animal boobs, sip penguin-humping cocoa to your heart’s content at Tokyo aquarium

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE ASSUME IT SAYS 'HELP!'

NASA sending message to possible alien life on Jupiter’s moon

(Thanks to Steve K.)

IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS

Driver saves a kitten on the 91 Freeway but causes a three-car crash

(Thanks to Rodney Bertelsen)

CHECK BETWEEN THE SOFA CUSHIONS

Happy the Elephant Hasn’t Been Seen in Months. What’s Going On?

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

GUYS IN ACTION

Macomb County man straps propane tanks to car in bomb hoax to prevent repossession

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)