Dave Barry's Blog

FOR SOME OF US, THIS IS EVERY DAY

It's National Drink Beer Day.

(Thanks to MOTW)

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

Phillies deny emotional support alligator from entering ballpark

(Thanks to Ron T)

CSI: EAST UNION TOWNSHIP

$10,000 worth of garbage bags stolen from truck

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

NEED A TRIM?

The Rise of the Nudist Barbershop

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who says "Now you can be itchy all over.")

Advisory: Photo of a naked butt.

WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

Texas family repeatedly attacked by out-of-control pig

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

SEND THEM TO WASHINGTON

For the first time, research reveals crows use statistical logic

(Thanks to Tim Couch)

UP UP AND AWAYYYYYYYYY

A British Airways pilot has been sacked after reports he snorted cocaine off a topless woman before trying to fly a passenger plane back to London.

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN'T DO?

Global warming could turn many people into drunks and drug users, study claims

(Thanks to Ron T, who says "We are there now.")

AND IN 'SPORTS'

Chess grandmaster Hans Niemann ‘categorically’ denies using vibrating sex toys to cheat in the sport

(Thanks to Ron T, The Perts and Steve K., who says "the batteries don't last long enough.")

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Why was an engraving of a modern bicycle found in an ancient temple?

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

BROOKS ROBINSON

Brooks Robinson, the great Baltimore Orioles third baseman, has died. I once played in a charity baseball game with him, during which he gave me some sound advice. He was a nice guy, and very funny. RIP, Brooks.

Photo by Joe Reilly

THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Woman, 30, Nabbed For Frozen Chicken Battery On Daughter

(Thanks to Charles Cates and Michael Parry, who asks "What choice did she have?")

GUESS THE STATE

DUI suspect on lawn mower nabbed while making beer run

(Thanks to Ron T and Rick Day)

GUYS IN ACTION

Frogs have been trying to mate with odd things for 220 million years

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

IF THAT'S NOT FAMILY FUN, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IS

Teacher busted after students find her meth at family fun night

(Thanks to MOTW)

'IT TASTES OF COW AND SHEEP FATS AND MILK'

Soap Company Boss Eats His Own Product to Prove That It’s All-Natural

(Thanks to Ralph)

EVER WONDER WHO'S ON THE OTHER END WHEN YOU CONTACT CUSTOMER ASSISTANCE?

Wonder no more.

(Thanks to Ralph)

BOFFINS HITTING THE BONG AGAIN

Transformer-style 'radioactive metal aliens' may exist in the universe, claim boffins

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

VETERINARIANS RECOMMEND NO MORE THAN 37

'Incredibly lucky' Malton cat recovers after eating 43 hairbands

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOUR PANTS DON'T FIT

Our entire galaxy is warping, and a gigantic blob of dark matter could be to blame

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)