Dave Barry's Blog

HE WAS ‘TRYING TO BUILD UP HIS IMMUNE SYSTEM’

Police stop nude jogger on Microsoft campus after seeing ‘illuminated’ buttocks

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NATIONAL PRIORITIES

Ruling party presidential candidate Lee Jae-myung said Friday he will add hair loss to ailments covered by national health insurance

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

NOTED

A doctor has urged people to not put hot sauce in a used condom to avoid pregnancies.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GONNA BE A FUN SEMESTER

Tenured Michigan university professor, 74, who wore a 'space helmet' AND mask for Zoom class is placed on leave for calling students 'vectors of disease' for wanting to attend in-person learning

(Thanks to Kirsten Martin and Dave Vander Ark)

THE NEW NAME WILL BE ‘SHITTE’

Swedish village decides to change its name after residents were fed up with being censored when they try to write about their lives on Facebook

(Thanks to Ralph)

PULITZER ALERT

How Many Nipples Do Cats Have?

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BUT YOU CAN KEEP YOUR LIVER

There’s a settlement in Antarctica that is suitable for families except for one major requirement: they must undergo an operation to to remove their appendix before they move in

(Thanks to maryann, also Jim Kenaston, who says “On reflection, maybe our HOA isn't so bad after all.”)

GRANDMA JUST ORDERED 11 PIZZAS

A group of senior citizens unknowingly consumed pot brownies that were brought to a community center card game by a 73-year-old South Dakota woman who was unaware that her son had prepared the baked goods with THC butter, cops report.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS IS NEWS?

Welcome to Florida: The road rules are different here.

(Thanks to Ralph)

YOU NEED A BOOSTER, DUDE

According to a study from researchers at OSU, cannabis compounds show the ability to prevent the coronavirus that causes COVID-19 from entering human cells.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Barry Nester)

IF YOU DON’T LIKE COCKROACHES

…don’t read this.

(Thanks to Steve K., pharmaross, B&C and Rick Day)

AW

IRS "in crisis," government watchdog says

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

CANADIANS: CHECK YOUR TOONIES

Fake toonies discovered in Hawkesbury, Ont.

(Thanks to Roberto)

MAINTAIN SOCIAL DISTANCE

'Don’t kiss or snuggle your bearded dragon'

(Thanks to Mr. Ridley Pearson, Howard from Broward and GJ) 

THEY KILL WITH A SMILE

Hamas accuses Israel of deploying ‘killer Zionist dolphins’ near Gaza

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who says “I saw KZD open for The Who.”)

THIS IS ANARCHY, PEOPLE

U.S. Federal Government Deregulates French Dressing

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Michael Moyer)

WE SAW D.P.M. OPEN FOR E.L.O.

Minnesota border agents seize disease-prone bushmeat from African nation

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SEND HIM ETC.

A fat, naked man describing sexual acts and cursing, Zoom bombed a Templeton Area Advisory Group meeting Tuesday evening as members critically critiqued City Boy Farms, a proposed cannabis grow.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

AND THEY DIED HAPPY

Just 17 Britons have died from cardiac arrests while having sex over the past three decades, study reveals

(Thanks to Roberto)

PAGING GEORGE COSTANZA

A MAN claims his penis has shrunk by an inch-and-a-half due to Covid

(Thanks to Static Joeage)