February 11, 2025

CSI: KOKOMO

Stellantis Poop Bandit Wreaks Havoc At Engine Plant

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

Not to be nitpicky, but: Wouldn't a "poop bandit" steal poop?

Posted by Dave on February 11, 2025 at 09:21 AM
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'A LOCAL RESTAURANT MIGHT BE SHORT ON UTENSILS TONIGHT'

Thousands of chopsticks spill onto California highway

(Thanks to MOTW)

Posted by Dave on February 11, 2025 at 09:19 AM
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WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

Battery-operated socks linked to Burke Mountain Hotel fire

(Thanks to Annette)

Posted by Dave on February 11, 2025 at 09:16 AM
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EL CAR WASH

Here's my investigative report.

Posted by Dave on February 11, 2025 at 09:03 AM
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February 10, 2025

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Hong Kong patient finds gauze in scrotum 2 months after operation

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "In keeping with the elevated journalistic standards of this blog, I will not call attention to the reporter's last name." To which this blog replies: Thank you.)

Posted by Dave on February 10, 2025 at 10:13 AM
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FOR A MERE 18 GRAND

The Louis Vuitton lobster bag.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on February 10, 2025 at 10:10 AM
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WE CAN'T HAVE AN UNPERMITTED BUSKING

Ed Sheeran took to a busy street in southern India this weekend to surprise fans with a live performance but police soon swooped and pulled the plug on the British singer, saying he hadn’t received permission.

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

Posted by Dave on February 10, 2025 at 09:08 AM
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SEND IT TO WASHINGTON

A "large" sewer blockage caused by "fat, grease and rags" has forced the cancellation of a Bryan Adams concert in Australia on public health grounds.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, Jay Brandes and Doug Ogg)

Posted by Dave on February 10, 2025 at 09:03 AM
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THE WORD IS 'HERO'

Man secretly outbids his in-laws to avoid having them as neighbors

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on February 10, 2025 at 09:02 AM
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February 09, 2025

SUPER BOWL MXVLLVXXIII

Enjoy it, blog people. Go team!

Posted by Dave on February 9, 2025 at 02:40 PM
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TERRORISM UPDATE

Sri Lanka Faces Islandwide Blackouts Due to Monkey Clash

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, who says "We know who egged them on.")

(Also obviously Monkey Clash WBAGNFARB.)

Posted by Dave on February 9, 2025 at 02:36 PM
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TRAGICALLY, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

17 members of feuding MILF groups arrested

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on February 9, 2025 at 02:30 PM
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TOTALLY NORMAL!

'I've collected 30,000 stands of my hair – I keep count in a notebook and won't stop'

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "The excitement is palpable.")

Posted by Dave on February 9, 2025 at 02:28 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T?

Vikings believed a goat dispensing endless beer from its udders awaited them in heaven

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on February 9, 2025 at 10:20 AM
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MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

10:47 p.m. During an altercation over a loose dog, someone told the neighbor to put their “fingers in unadvisable places.”

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on February 9, 2025 at 09:14 AM
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HARD TO ARGUE

Massive moose made in snow with meticulous footprints 'very Canadian,' says artist

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Very artistic, eh?")

Posted by Dave on February 9, 2025 at 09:12 AM
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February 08, 2025

IN MIAMI WE CALL THIS 'PARALLEL PARKING'

A driver lost control of their SUV in a grocery store parking lot in The Woodlands Wednesday afternoon, ending up on its side and wedged between two other vehicles.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth, who says "She has a Texas drivers license, which should be transferable to Florida.") (Also thanks to David Benson)

Posted by Dave on February 8, 2025 at 10:49 AM
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WHY THE PORCH PIRATES WERE IN HER BATHROBE, WE'LL NEVER KNOW

Calgary woman fends off porch pirates in her bathrobe

(Thanks to B&C)

Posted by Dave on February 8, 2025 at 10:47 AM
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HEADLINE WRITERS LIVE FOR THIS*

500+ eggs whisked away during Seattle breakfast heist, police scramble to crack case

(Thanks to Ralph)

*Doo-dah, doo-dah

Posted by Dave on February 8, 2025 at 10:45 AM
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BUT DID THE BEAVERS HAVE A PERMIT?

Government Scraps Construction Project After Beavers Finish The Job Themselves

(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "Send this beaver...")

Another version: Beavers Take 2 Days to Build Dams The Government Had Been Planning for 7 Years

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet, who says "Send them to Washington?")

Posted by Dave on February 8, 2025 at 10:40 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

 
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