Dave Barry's Blog

WHEW

A Distant Spacecraft Has Confirmed That Earth Is Habitable

(Thanks to Robert Moats and Annette) 

PERSONAL FOUL

Matt LaFleur reacts to Packers center vomiting on ball: 'First time I've heard that'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE NAME THEY USE IS 'CHAMP'

These Monkeys Call One Another by Name

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "This is precisely why we have studies.")

 

AND IN SPORTS

Missouri water lily holds 142 pounds of sandbags, wins worldwide contest

(Thanks to The Perts)

ATTENTION, PEOPLE SWIMMING NEAR NEW SMYRNA BEACH, FL:

Get out of the water now.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

THESE KIDS TODAY

Gen Z employees are entitled, too easily offended, lazy and generally unprepared for the workplace — according to their bosses.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Cat stuck in 10-metre-deep tank at sewage plant rescued

(Thanks to Geoffrey Scott)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Buckingham Palace guard slips and lands on his butt while on duty

(Thanks to Michael Parry)

SO THEY CAN VOTE *AND* DRIVE IN FLORIDA

Organisms Created in Laboratory Are "Third State" Beyond Life and Death, Scientists Say

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

'WE EAT A LOT OF FIBER'

Why Going on Daily ‘Fart Walks’ Is Great for Your Health, According to an Award-Winning Cookbook Author

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT EVEN BE LEGAL

Arizona man blows Lego out of nose after three decades: 'I can breathe now'

(Thanks to Ron Wylie and Dave Vander Ark, who both say "Always the last place you look.")

'THE SQUIRREL WAS EATING ME'

Police find squirrel in Florida man’s shirt during traffic stop

(Thanks to Ralph)

SOUNDS LEGIT

'Time traveller' says he's comes back from 2671 to warn of 5 'danger' events this year

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "We should listen to this guy.") 

WE CAN NEVER TELL THEM APART

Vessel rescued in English Channel after emergency call to Dover, Delaware, instead of Dover, England

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

WELL IN THAT CASE, MA'AM....

Woman says God gave her permission to steal from Walmart

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

WE ASSUME THE SURGERY IS TO MAKE HIM STOP

Man plays trombone during brain surgery

(Thanks to B&C)

AND IN SPORTS

We broke the record for World’s Largest Charcuterie Board, with more than 1,032 pounds of cured meats and cheeses!

Horseback wrestling to sheep bone tossing: Highlights from the World Nomad Games

(Thanks to John Lobert)

PLAIN AS DAY

Loch Ness monster's 'twin' discovered as 'two large' mysterious shapes captured

(Thanks to Annette)

THANKS, BUT WE CAN ALREADY DETECT OUR HOME PARTICLES

It Is Surprisingly Easy To Build Your Own Particle Detector At Home

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

CANADA CONTINUES ITS TERRIFYING DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO TOTAL ANARCHY

Camper stinking mad over public pooping eviction

(Thanks to The Perts)