Dave Barry's Blog

A BLOW FOR JUSTICE

Farting Lawyer Wins $170K Over Being Refused Permission to Work From Home

(Thanks to Annette)

WE SAW THREE LOOSE MEERKATS OPEN FOR THE KINGSTON TRIO

Three meerkats on the loose in Netherlands town

(Thanks to John Lobert)

DEFFANITELY

Are we growing more dumber? Americans’ IQ scores drop in four of five measurements

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

1:21 p.m. A man who had previously shoplifted, did not shoplift today.  

8:18 p.m. A man kept approaching passersby and letting them know he was a murderer. 

(Thanks to Roberto)

EVEN IF WE PLAY FLIGHT SIMULATOR?

Think you can land a plane in an emergency? Pilots explain why you can’t.

Unsurprising: Almost half of the men who responded were confident they could do it, compared with 20 percent of the women.

(Thanks to Steve K., who says “I guarantee I could get it on the ground.”)

NEXT STOP: WASHINGTON

South Carolina's top accountant to resign after $3.5B error

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

A California man who racked up almost three-dozen charges and 10 arrests in the past month was most recently busted for allegedly driving a stolen car to the police station to pick up his personal property, cops say.

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who says “Everybody makes mistakes.”)

‘HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY, DEAR?’

“Great!”

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

A HERO FOR OUR TIMES

Amazon PRIME: Driver walks through active police standoff in North Carolina to deliver package, hands item to SWAT officer before taking a picture to confirm delivery

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Oregon baseball team unveils new uniforms paying homage to exploding whale

ASTEROID-MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

Huge asteroid the size of London's Big Ben will get closer to Earth than the MOON on Saturday

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

SO YOU'RE SAYING IT HAS FEET?

Lab-grown chicken is one step closer to being sold in the US

(Thanks to Ronald Troyer, who says "No.") 

KIND OF LIKE WHEN EXPLORERS DISCOVERED THE TOMB OF TUTANKHAMUN, EXCEPT... IT'S A CONVERSATION PIT

Homeowners discover pink 1970s ‘conversation pit’ hidden under their floors, and TikTok is obsessed

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

TikTok is easily obsessed. 

CANADA SINKS EVER DEEPER INTO CHAOS

Show us your Regina': Canadian town is slammed over 'gross' new $30k tourism campaign mocking fact city's name rhymes with vagina

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS

An Ozarks church leader claims prayer regrew a woman's toes.

For you skeptics: A website urging anyone with proof to share it has popped up at ShowMeTheToes.com.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

YOU KNOW WHO’S RUNNING THE SHOW

Feral Pigs Are Casually Destroying the Country. No One Can Stop Them.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

I have a 55-inch butt — I use it to smuggle booze into bars

(Thanks to Michael Parry and Doug Ogg)

WE KNOW WHERE THIS DRIVER WAS HEADED

Suspected impaired driver crashes into impaired driver sign

(Thanks to Jane Linderman and Gregory Snow)

THIS IS WHAT YOUR DOG IS BARKING AT

Alien mothership lurking in our solar system could be watching us with tiny probes, Pentagon official suggests

(Thanks to many people)

BUT THEY HAVE TROUBLE ARTICULATING THEM

Even worms make complex decisions

(Thanks to EricY, who says “FedEx them overnight to Washington.”)