Dave Barry's Blog

GREAT FOR BARBECUE

Chinese residents are terrified to discover their tap water can be set on fire after 'natural gas was leaked into groundwater'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CANADA: A NATION ON THE BRINK OF ANARCHY

Giant snow penis spotted in Toronto's Riverdale Park

The spots could be an indication of disease.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AW

Good Samaritan tries to rescue 'injured baby owl'… before she realises it's actually a MUSHROOM

(Thanks to Ralph)

OTHER THAN THAT IT SHOULD BE A FESTIVE HOLIDAY

Millions of 'starving giant rats' could invade British homes this Christmas

(Thanks to Ralph)

'OK THAT'S A BEAR... THAT'S A COW... THAT'S ANOTHER COW....'

Face recognition isn't just for humans — it's learning to identify bears and cows, too

(Thanks to The Perts)

GUYS IN ACTION

Florida man tosses Thanksgiving turkey into pool to defrost

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS

Florida man loses pants, boxers in wild Wawa fight

The winner will take on the guy who lost his pants fighting over a spot in the In-N-Out Burger line in Colorado.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DUH

Are we in for a turkey uprising?

(Thanks to Ann)

THEY'RE A KILLER OPENING ACT

Dog-Sized Lizards Are Spreading Across Southern United States

(Thanks to John W. and Le Petomane)

THE NEWS FROM DOWN UNDER

Is someone working at the Northern Territory (NT) government responsible for editing the Wikipedia page for Hungry Jack’s to add “Pee pee poo poo yee haw im very cock a doodle do”? Maybe, but not likely.

This has been The News From Down Under.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

VISITING MIAMI?

Stay on land.

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A VERY CLASSY AFFAIR

A bride has posted a video on TikTok of the moment her new husband "ruined our wedding" by heel-kicking her in the side of the head during a shirtless dance to the Magic Mike soundtrack

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, GO ON BACK TO SLEEP

DUI suspect thought he was dreaming and that UHP trooper was trying to race him, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

7:01 p.m. A dog has been barking since June.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MORE THAN 15 MELONS IS A FELONY

Surprisingly strong Hokkaido woman arrested for poking holes in 13 expensive melons with finger

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AUSTRALIAAAAAA

Carpet python trashes Gold Coast family's bathroom

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NOT INSANE AT ALL

Colorado In-N-Out customer loses pants during brawl while waiting in line for newest location

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S STARTING

Mysterious metal object found in Utah desert

(Thanks to Ralph, MOTW and Roberto, who says "I'm not saying it's aliens. But it is aliens.")

Here's the official report from the Utah Department of Public Safety, which states: "It is illegal to install structures or art without authorization on federally managed public lands, no matter what planet you’re from."

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "Our alien overlords need to abide by Utah state policy.")

IN EACH CASE, THERE WERE NEARBY SQUIRRELS

6 Bizarre Turkey Attacks

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

TERROR STALKS THE NORTHWEST

Prolific Oregon toilet paper thief busted in Walla Walla County

(Thanks to B'game and Ralph)