Dave Barry's Blog

SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE

Va. woman charged after opening fire on suspected drunk driver who crashed in her backyard

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Authorities arrested a wanted fugitive Friday in Baxter County after he crashed his motorcycle into a deputy’s patrol car.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

PLANNING A SWIM IN AUSTRALIAN WATERS?

Carry a camera.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

COUNT THIS BLOG AMONG THE FAITHFUL

Tequila bar applies to become church to skirt COVID-19 lockdown rules

(Thanks to Le Petomane, pharmaross and Ralph)

HE WILL OF COURSE BE GRANTED A FLORIDA CAPTAIN'S LICENSE

Drunk boater in Naples gives ‘poop deck’ new meaning…

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ASK MISTER LANGUAGE PERSON

I have a question for Mr. Language Person.

The question is: is there a difference between a Clusterf#$% and a Sh@# Show?

Thank you for your masterful use and explanation of all things “wordy”.

With warmest regards,   Susan Kosturik, Dawsonville, GA

Dear Susan:

Yes, there is.

Warmest Human Regards,

Mister Language Person

WE NEED TO STOP DOING STUDIES

Otter penis bones are becoming less dense and more breakable due to toxic chemicals trickling into rivers from oil hubs in Canada - and it could have the same impact on human men, study reveals

(Thanks to Michael Moyer and pharmaross)

THE SEVENTIES....

...every bit as tasteful as you remember.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

TMI

Why I’m Embracing Peeing Outside

(Thanks to Matt Filar, who says, "Embracing?")

WORKS FOR US

Cambodian villagers trust magic scarecrows to ward off coronavirus

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS

A PENNILESS fisherman has stumbled on possibly the world's biggest blob of rare whale vomit - worth an astonishing £2.4million.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Wizard coming back from coven meeting crash lands on rooftop

This has been The News From Abroad.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WELL THIS ISN'T WEIRD AT ALL

Twitter user Just Jon Nah fired up his 3D printer and gave his pet chicken these beautiful T-Rex arms.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AGAINST ALL ODDS, CANADA MANAGES TO DESCEND EVEN FURTHER INTO ANARCHY

Watch this raccoon ‘go shopping’ at Best Buy in Toronto

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Perhaps This Will Help: Canadian Army promotes polar bear to honorary master corporal

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

GOOD FOR SENIORS TO KEEP ACTIVE

65-year-old Chinese martial artist loves to get hit in the crotch with a log

Note that this blog is not making fun of anybody's name.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

BOLO

The mysterious silver monolith in the Utah desert has disappeared

(Thanks to vee and pharmaross)

TENNESSEE SOCIAL SCENE

Man goes to cemetery for date, gets shot at

Note that this blog, in accordance with our strict policy, is not making fun of anybody’s name.

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

NOBODY TELL THE OREGON HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT

Bizarre dragon-like blue sea creatures wash up on South African beach

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

TOAD VENOM: IT WORKS FOR TOADS, AND IT CAN WORK FOR YOU

Mike Tyson says psychedelic drug inspired his return to boxing

(Thanks to man Tom)

NOW *THIS* IS LEADERSHIP

Mayor of Novosibirsk defends decision to shape city’s main ice rink like a penis for 2nd consecutive year

(Thanks to pharmaross)