Dave Barry's Blog

TERRORISM UPDATE

Squirrel causes power outages for more than 12,000 peope in upstate New York

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and DaninDallas)

OOPS

Forklift driver causes an entire warehouse to fall like dominoes when he nudges a shelving unit

(Thanks to Geoff, who says "Does this mean no bonus?")

YET SHE EATS SOUP WITH HER BARE HANDS

The queen eats her bananas with a knife and fork

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Polar bears' x-rated Christmas display in shopping mall leaves customers stunned

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

NO, IT WON'T

Hot Cheetos turkey will spice up Thanksgiving dinner

(Thanks to John Gregg)

SPORTSDADS IN ACTION

The lawsuit alleges a parent of a player from Nazareth wore his referee uniform and was involved in calls the referee crew made though he was not officiating the Nov. 10 game. The father allegedly spoke to the referees, stood on the sidelines and was later seen alongside referees in an area where only officials are supposed to be, according to the lawsuit.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "At long last, someone has usurped me as an over-involved sideline parent.")

CANADA CONTINUES ITS DOWNWARD SPIRAL

'Drunk' Canadian curlers kicked out of tournament final

(Thanks to Matt Filar and pharmaross)

PUTTING THE 'LO' IN 'BOLO'

Police hunt man with 'small penis and low-hanging testicles' who flashed student

(Thanks to pharmaross)

LET ME TALK TO MY MANAGER, DUDE

Man Jailed for Attempting to Trade Weed for a Car

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

DID FIRST CLASS HAVE TO PAY MORE?

Passengers are forced to chip in to pay for REPAIRS to their Boeing 787 before it takes off from Beijing to Poland

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

BUT IN WHAT *ORDER* DID HE CLEAN THEM?

Cleaner at luxury Chinese hotel caught cleaning toilet and drinking cups with same sponge

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS IS HOW MOST OF OUR EVENINGS END

An Oklahoma man paid a visit a strip club at 3 a.m. — and police said that bad decision set in motion a bizarre series of events that resulted in him running naked down a country road.

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

You Can Now Buy Christmas Fairy Lights For Beards

(Thanks to Ann)

THAT WILL SHOW THEM

A Man Was so Angry His Flight Was Cancelled He Set His Own Luggage on Fire

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT

A mini ice age could be on the way

(Thanks to The Perts)

NOW WITH ADDED PROTEIN

Woman discovers live frog in her Cava salad

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

CELEBRITY LIFESTYLES UPDATE

Sarah Logan Farted In The ‘Ride Along’ Car

(Thanks tp pharmaross)

ALL HUMANITY REJOICES

Wombat poop: Scientists have finally discovered why it's cubed

(Thanks to Lisa Caplinger, Ralph, the Perts, funny man, Andrew Mendez and Michael Moyer)

these kids today

University lecturers told DON'T USE CAPS as it frightens students

(thanks to allen at division)

CANADA: A NATION IN CHAOS

Stolen snowplow truck driven by man without pants crashes in Portugal Cove-St. Philip's

(Thanks to The Perts)