Dave Barry's Blog

WHILE WE WERE DISTRACTED BY THE BALLOON

Scientists in China are cloning "super cows"

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve™)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

“The suspect then fought with deputies in a thick, brown puddle. We have confirmed this puddle was cow dung,” the sheriff’s office said in a Facebook post.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

HE WAS CHARGED WITH ‘ASSAULT WHILE DISPLAYING A DANGEROUS WEAPON’

Naked man ran through Des Moines hotel swinging toilet plunger, police say

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THE UPSIDE: FEWER, AND SMALLER, SNAKES

New Yorker sets off on dream trip Down Under only to realise he booked his ticket to Sidney, Montana instead of Sydney, Australia when he arrived

(Thanks to Roberto)

METAPHOR ALERT

Water service restored after shutdown prompted by sewage backup in the Legislature

(Thanks to Laura)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY ETC?

Blobs of human brain planted in rats hold promise for a new treatment    

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS THIS BLOG DID NOT FINISH READING

Hi again

I hope you haven't minded my making contact from out of the blue.

CHIC

Model Walks Ramp With Tablecloth Dress With Food On It At Copenhagen Fashion Week

(Thanks to Ralph)

IS ROMANCE DEAD?

It's starting to look that way.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

UNFORTUNATELY THIS HAPPENED TO BE THE ONLY GROUP OF KIDS IN THE UNITED STATES WITHOUT A PHONE

Group of kids come 'eye-to-eye with Bigfoot' after following awful smell in forest

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says “That children saw it convinces me.”)

CANADA: A NATION IN CHAOS

Security footage shows suspects driving stolen car into shopping mall

(Thanks to Steve K., who says “It was between them and Florida.”)

WE READ THE STORY AND WE’RE STILL NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED

Man wanted for leaving a dead fish at ‘The Goonies’ house saved by Coast Guard in daring rescue

(Thanks to Steve K.)

GIBBON GUYS IN ACTION

Japanese zoo solves mystery of isolated gibbon's pregnancy

Key Excerpt:

The father of the male baby was found to be Itou, a 34-year-old agile gibbon. Zookeepers said the two apes were never on display together, but they discovered that the partition between Momo's exhibit and the back yard where Itou was kept while off-display had a perforated board with holes about 9 millimeters (.35 inches) in diameter.

Officials said they now believe the apes managed to mate through one of the holes.

“Agile” is right!

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says he saw Isolated Gibbon open for the Monkees.)

GUYS IN ACTION

A passenger at Edinburgh Airport has been captured smashing pieces of his suitcase in order to make it fit in the check-in luggage holder.

(Thanks to Ralph)

ROAD TRIP, DUDE

Bolivar's new roadside attraction? Glass shop houses 11-foot, 150-pound functioning bong

(Thanks to Ralph)

ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT!

People are zapping their brains at home to improve focus and clear brain fog. But is it safe?

(Thanks to The Perts)

PRO TIP FOR BANK ROBBERS:

Leave the beer outside.

(Thanks to Allen at Division, who says "I object, Your Honor! Corona Light isn't really 'beer'!")

IF HE SAYS YOU ORDERED IT WITH ANCHOVIES, YOU ORDERED IT WITH ANCHOVIES

Mafia boss found working as pizza boss after 16 years on the run

(Thanks to B&C)

FLORIDA: STATE OF ROMANCE

‘Swingers’ swap upside-down pineapples for color-coded loofahs

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias and John Lobert)

WE OBJECT TO THE SOCKS

A Spanish high court has ruled in favor of a man who was fined for walking naked in the streets of Aldaia in the Valencia province and later stopped from entering a courthouse wearing only black socks and hiking boots, Reuters reported Friday.

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)