May 24, 2025

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Sales of viral plush toy Labubu halted in UK stores after reports of brawls

(Thanks to EricY)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2025 at 10:59 AM
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MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

11:44 p.m. The suspect of a marinara sauce assault could not be located.

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2025 at 10:57 AM
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May 23, 2025

EVERYONE'S PITCHING IN

How penguin poop can help to mitigate climate change

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2025 at 09:49 AM
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ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

New photos have revealed a massive haul of drugs that a former flight attendant denies she was carrying in two large suitcases.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2025 at 09:45 AM
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WE THINK IT'S FATAL

Yawning may be more dangerous than you think, experts say

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2025 at 09:42 AM
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APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Punk band Private Function release record that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2025 at 09:41 AM
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IT HAS HAPPENED TO ALL OF US

Norwegian man wakes to cargo ship in his garden

(Thanks to Ralph and Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2025 at 09:34 AM
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SEND THIS MAN TO WASHINGTON

An outgoing state MP caused a scene in Western Australia's parliament after he ended his valedictory speech with a shoey - the act of having a celebratory drink, typically alcohol, out of a shoe.

(Thanks to Michael Parry)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2025 at 09:32 AM
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May 22, 2025

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WENT EXACTLY AS PLANNED

Giancarlo was just trying to help. But he set the dog on fire, the dog set the couch on fire, the couch set the curtains on fire, and before long, residents of a five-story, 114-unit apartment building in San Francisco were fleeing for their lives down a fire escape amid a blaze that sent two people to the hospital.

(Thanks to Malcolm Hoar)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2025 at 11:08 AM
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FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Swedish Guillemot Mistaken for Spy Bird in Ethiopia

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2025 at 11:01 AM
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'OLIVIA'S WATER HAS BROKE'

Schenectady news anchor goes into labor on air, but delivers the news

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2025 at 09:14 AM
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TODAY'S SUBSTACK TOPIC

It's important.

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2025 at 09:11 AM
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May 21, 2025

THAT SHOULD DO IT

Snakes released in condo hallway in protest against noisy dog

(Thanks to pharnariss)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2025 at 11:03 AM
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ATTENTION PULITZER BOARD

Chicago Paper Publishes ‘Summer Reading List’ of Fake Books Created With AI

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2025 at 10:59 AM
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YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

Toilet Scrolling Is Hurting Your Butt

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2025 at 10:53 AM
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WE CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DIDN'T ASK US TO DRIVE

Wienermobiles to compete in inaugural ‘Wienie 500’ at Indianapolis Motor Speedway

(Thanks to Ralph and The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 21, 2025 at 10:47 AM
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May 20, 2025

REMINDS US OF COLLEGE

This Austin book club has been reading the same book for 12 years. They’re not even close to done.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who says "Maybe they should get off their phones.")

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2025 at 12:35 PM
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HE WILL FIGHT FOR YOU

A Charleston personal injury attorney was arrested last week after police say he was downtown yelling at the top of his lungs without any clothes on.

(Thanks to Actual Name)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2025 at 08:59 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

'URBAN?'

CNC Research Forest team is looking for public help with collecting urban bear poop

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2025 at 08:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

ATTENTION MEN:

GP issues urgent warning over 'summer penis' phenomenon that could destroy intimate moments

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on May 20, 2025 at 08:38 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

 
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