October 30, 2020

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS THE PERFECT CRIME

Woman attempting to dine and dash from B.C. restaurant falls through ceiling in botched escape

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 30, 2020 at 11:13 AM
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PARENT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

A Georgia woman accused of attempting to hide a loaded firearm in some plants outside a Disney World theme park told deputies her 6-year-old was actually the one who put it there, however, video and witness statements showed otherwise.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on October 30, 2020 at 11:05 AM
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BY USING THEIR ARMS TO PUT FOOD IN THEIR MOUTHS?

Researchers Finally Figured Out How Octopuses Taste With Their Arms

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on October 30, 2020 at 11:02 AM
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SO IT ALREADY HAS A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

10-foot python found under hood of Mustang in South Florida

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 30, 2020 at 10:57 AM
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YOU KNOW WHO SENT IT ON THIS MISSION

At least seven staff members and an animal control officer chased the raccoon through the empty hallways for much longer than they would probably like to admit.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 30, 2020 at 09:46 AM
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October 29, 2020

WE'LL WAIT FOR IT TO GO ON SALE

NASA Spots Asteroid Worth $10,000,000,000,000,000,000

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who says "Just imagine the property taxes"

Posted by Dave on October 29, 2020 at 05:32 PM
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IS IT A COMPETITION?

Who Falls Asleep Faster After Sex, Men or Women?

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "With my ex, I fell asleep DURING sex.")

Posted by Dave on October 29, 2020 at 05:25 PM
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DUDE

Chinese police have arrested a man after he scattered a “heavenly rain of banknotes” on commuters from his apartment window while allegedly high on methamphetamine.

(Thanks to Jim Perth)

Posted by Dave on October 29, 2020 at 05:19 PM
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SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

'It looked like a shark attack!' Gary Numan's wife Gemma recalls the moment her breasts 'exploded' during a caravan trip with her husband... who was forced to 'hold them together'

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on October 29, 2020 at 11:36 AM
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GO FIGURE

An East Dallas Home's Halloween Decorations Prompt Multiple Police Visits

(Thanks to pharmaross and Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on October 29, 2020 at 10:11 AM
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WASHINGTON BECKONS

Woman accused of impersonating prosecutor, dropping criminal charges against herself

(Thanks to roughly 13 million people)

Posted by Dave on October 29, 2020 at 10:09 AM
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AND IN SPORTS

Robot Cam confuses linesman’s bald head for a football in Scotland

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 29, 2020 at 10:07 AM
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AUSTRALIA: OUR COWS ARE MORE BADASS THAN YOUR COWS

Cow caught chewing on a large python in outback northern Australia

(Thanks to John Lobert and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 29, 2020 at 10:06 AM
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October 28, 2020

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING ETC.

Rare, 4-foot-wide jellyfish spotted on Florida beach

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 28, 2020 at 11:35 AM
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'911, WHAT IS YOUR EMERGENCY?'

At 9:38 a.m., a caller at Dugualla Road reported that a man intentionally defecated in the toilet “to the point that it is clogged.” The caller reported that she hasn’t defecated in five days because it is clogged and that she is constipated and bloated.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on October 28, 2020 at 11:20 AM
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AND OF COURSE IT WAS A GUY

Of Course Someone In Wisconsin Built a Jet-Powered Cheese Wedge

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 28, 2020 at 11:14 AM
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WELL THEY *ARE* NAKED

Pole-dancing skeletons must be removed, HOA tells homeowner

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on October 28, 2020 at 11:07 AM
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THE EARTH IS CUTTING THE CHEESE

'Sleeping giant' Arctic methane deposits starting to release, scientists find

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on October 28, 2020 at 11:05 AM
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THEIR WALLETS WERE DISGUSTING

Medieval English people used to pay their rent in eels

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 28, 2020 at 10:42 AM
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BOLO

A US Air Force A-10 Thunderbolt accidentally dropped a training weapon on Korea, and no one knows where it went

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on October 28, 2020 at 10:41 AM
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