Dave Barry's Blog

WILL WE EVER LEARN?

Apparently not.

(Thanks to Fearless Phil)

IN LIEU OF A DRIVER'S LICENSE

Slippery Florida woman throws fake snake to avoid arrest, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross and Jeff Meyerson)

MAINLY BIG MACS

Ancient poop reveals what the builders of Stonehenge liked to eat

(Thanks to GJ and Alkali Bill)

CANADA: LAND OF EXCITEMENT

Topless mom in her undies rescues pet goose from bald eagle in shocking video

(Thanks to pharmaross and Frank)

DEPARTMENT OF THINGS YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT

The online spider market.

(Thanks to Sean T and Barry Nester)

THE NEWS FROM CORNWALL

A FARMER has been left astonished at how many drivers seem willing to pay MORE to park like “wallys”.

(Thanks to Allen at Division, who says "He'd make a fortune in Miami.") (Except he wouldn't, because he uses an "honesty box," which in Miami would last maybe five minutes.)

JUST KEEP SWIMMING, DUDES

Study reveals fish on drugs in South Florida waters

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

PRACTICAL!

Adidas, Gucci selling $1,300 'umbrella' that isn't waterproof

(Thanks to Ralph)

AS IF THINGS WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH ALREADY

IKEA causes chaos by revealing its Swedish meatballs aren't actually Swedish

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "There is nothing left to believe in.")

PROUDLY NOT DEAD YET

Wisconsin man celebrates 50 years of eating Big Macs every day

(Thanks to Rick Stevenson, who says "A life well spent.")

PRESENTING THE ROLLING STONES

Scientists Discover Nearly 1 Billion-Year-Old Organisms, Possibly Alive

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

CSI: WICHITA

A woman defecated in the middle of an aisle at a beauty supply store in Kansas, ruining several wigs in the process, according to police.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THE SEAGULL GETS THE BLAME, BUT YOU KNOW WHO'S MASTERMINDING THIS OPERATION

Shameless and greedy seagull steals 17kg of food from Tesco worth over £300

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'LL HAVE A CHARITABLE SPACE BEER, THANKS

New charitable space beer launched in Guelph, Ont. to raise funds for science centre

(Thanks to EricY)

(YOUR 'NUTS' JOKE HERE)

A Queensland man once caught trying to smuggle squirrels into Australia by hiding them in his pants has avoided jail for drug trafficking.

(Thanks to Watson B)

NOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

YOU WANT CONCLUSIVE UFO PROOF?

You got it.

Hey, seeing is believing:

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

MIAMI IS NO STRANGER TO NON-HUMAN DRIVERS

Ford-backed robotaxi start-up Argo AI is ditching its human safety drivers in Miami and Austin

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who asks "What could possibly go wrong?")

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

Things are heating up.

(Thanks to Mary Smith and pharmaross)

IT WILL SOON BE COVERED IN SEAGULL POOP

Park bench dedicated to man who used to sit and shout at seagulls to 'f**k off'

(Thanks to John Lobert)