Dave Barry's Blog

WE ALL ARE!

Mathematicians Excited About New 13-Sided Shape Called 'the Hat'

(Thanks to John Lobert)

DO YOU LIKE STRAWBERRIES?

Do not click here.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FOOLS

We absolutely love how this squirrel is so smart that he had trained humans to bring him a snack when he rings the bell.

(Thanks to EricY, who says "I've contacted the SWAT team.")

They won't "absolutely love" it when the squirrel trains them to embezzle corporate funds.

ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

This is getting ridiculous.

(Thanks to many people)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

8:37 p.m. A man thought he had fallen down the stairs at his hotel, but had no memory of it, just some back pain.

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

BOLO

Arizona Dairy Queen Searching For Missing Giant Red Spoon

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

Ancient ‘AI selfies’ reveal what snaps by Jesus and other historical figures might have looked like

BECAUSE IT'S THERE

People are freaking out over mystery man who scaled upright Miami drawbridge

(Thanks to Steve K., who says, correctly, "probably safer than normal Miami traffic.")

THE FINAL FOUR

We are in Houston to root for the University of Miami Fighting Storm Systems men's basketball team and also allow the playful 600-mph Texas wind to tousle our hair.

The Storm Systems' opponent is the University of Connecticut Panting Cornhuskers.

May the best team win, unless it is the opponents, in which case may the University of Miami win anyway.

AS OPPOSED TO WHAT? DOILIES?

Tyrannosaurus rex: our new research shows it covered its enormous teeth with lips

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

CELERY IS THE WORST

Plants make popping sounds that are undetectable to the human ear, according to recordings made in a new study — and they make more sounds when thirsty or under other kinds of stress.

Another version: In groundbreaking research, Tel Aviv U team records plants ‘talking’ for first time

(Thanks to The Perts and Barry Nester)

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

Miami Traveler Arrested for Egg-Smuggling After Suitcase Starts Chirping, Feds Say

(Thanks to Ralph)

SOON TO BE INFESTED WITH LIQUID SQUIRRELS

Scientists create Liquid Trees; a tank full of water and micro-algae that could be an alternative to trees in urban areas

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

'SILENT MODE'

A new barbershop in San Francisco offers silent haircuts so that you no longer have to talk to your barber

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

CANADA IS COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL

CANADIAN BULL MOOSE CLIFF DIVES RIGHT IN FRONT OF ONLOOKERS

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

We saw Diving Moose open for the Cowsills.

WE BET HE ALSO CAN DRIVE A STICK SHIFT

Japanese surfer nears 90 and talks of catching waves at 100

(Thanks to B&C)

TIME FOR A BENEFIT CONCERT

Relocating 70 of Pablo Escobar’s ‘cocaine hippos’ to cost around $3.5 million

(Thanks to vee)

SOME NEWS ITEMS NEVER FAIL TO MAKE US GEEZERS SMILE

Here's one.

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

CANADA SINKS EVER DEEPER INTO CHAOS

A Canadian urban artist, who goes by the name Junko Playtime and works with “reclaimed materials,” created the massive spider and installed it under a bridge in Vancouver, according to an Instagram post on March 15.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

In Australia, this would be a real spider, and nobody would notice.

ONE OF THE BEST

The great Mark Russell has died. He was a hilarious performer and just as funny one-on-one. I was fortunate enough to hang out with him from time to time over the years. A great guy.