Dave Barry's Blog

THE EPIDEMIC IS SPREADING

Nightmare As Child Lifts Toilet Seat Lid To Find 5ft Python

Enormous Python Found Emerging from Toilet That Wouldn't Flush

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

WE HAVE LOST OUR MINDS, AS A SPECIES

Since February, the city has begun to unveil the concrete squirrel sculptures as part of the Seguin Squirrel Trail Program. Each sponsored squirrel is painted by a local artist and then permanently mounted somewhere throughout the community.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS TO THE BLOG THAT WE DID NOT FINISH READING

Hello admin,

I have found your website from a google search and visited.

IT WAS THE ONLY RATIONAL RESPONSE

Taco Bell customer damages drive-thru, threatens to shoot employees when told he can't order breakfast burrito

(Thanks to Ralph)

BUT STILL ON THE CLOCK

Firefighters discover ‘missing’ plumber asleep in crawl space under California home

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

THEY'RE WEARING DISGUISES, YOU FOOL

I Can't Believe How Different Squirrels Look In Other Countries

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

WE ASSUME IT WILL FAIL

NYC’s Museum of Failure opens to make us feel better about our lives

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

APPARENTLY THESE RESEARCHERS HAVE NEVER RIDDEN THE NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY

Apparently, sniffing the sweat of another person could be a useful way to give your mental health a boost, says a team of Swedish researchers

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

WHICH CAN ALSO BE DEADLY

Bomb-sniffing dog leads handlers to explosive outside the NYSE — which turned out to be rat poop

(Thanks to EricY and John Lobert)

ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

Giant 'city killer' asteroid to fly by Earth TOMORROW - and it's bigger than 4,000 buses

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GUESS WHERE THIS PLANT IS LOCATED

'Hurt more than childbirth': Mom of 4 who fell onto deadly 'suicide plant' while biking recounts ordeal

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

WE'RE GUESSING IT'S DRUGS

How jumping spiders became the new ‘it’ pets

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

HEY, CAT PEOPLE:

You have some explaining to do.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

'INTERTWINING THEIR GIANT PENISES'

David Attenborough’s Wild Isles shocks viewers with graphic slug sex scene

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE STAND WITH BERLIN

Berlin welcomes topless female swimmers in victory for activists

(Thanks to Carlos Montage)

CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR

B.C. family comes home from vacation to find a goat has moved in

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

SO SCIENTISTS ARE ALSO DOING THIS?

Beetles suck water into their butts to stay hydrated, and now scientists know how

(Thanks to Ralph)

IS THERE ANYTHING THAT *ISN'T* OUR FAULT?

French blame 'Americanisation' of baking bread for causing farting epidemic

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have revealed that they’ve tested over 1,000 Oreos to figure out the best way to eat the beloved cookie.

(Thanks to Annette)

THERE'S AN OINTMENT FOR THAT

What's That Big White Splotch on Uranus?

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)