Dave Barry's Blog

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THINGS COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE

There's a shortage of crab sperm.

(Thanks to Rich Alpin)

DEPARTMENT OF THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU

Delta Air Lines offered passengers $10,000 each to get off an oversold flight

(Thanks to EricY)

THE WORST PART IS, THEY CAN LEGALLY DRIVE DOWN HERE

Another giant African snail sighting forces Florida county into quarantine

(Thanks to many people)

AND IN SPORTS

Plan to replace Wimbledon ball boys with dogs fails for very adorable reason

(Thanks to Annette)

We personally would watch a LOT more tennis if the players had to battle dogs to get the balls back. 

A GIANT LEAP FOR VEGETARIANISM

Gefilte dogs.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who says "Hard pass.")

HE WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING ETC.

Missing homing pigeon Bob found 4,000 miles away in Alabama

(Thanks to Steve Bradford and wiredog)

AND DO THEY CARE?

Do dogs know when they fart?

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

'LIGHTEN UP WHILE YOU STILL CAN'

Brawl breaks out at Hyde Park gig as the Eagles play ‘Take It Easy’

(Thanks to Doug Ogg and Ralph)

IT'S SETTLED

You Need to Make a Personal Poop Bank, Scientists Say

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston and Jay Brandes, who says "I've made some big deposits.")

CANADA: LAND OF MYSTERY

When 'loose snakes' mysteriously appeared on the sidewalk, he stepped in to help

But it turns out, upon further investigation, that they were not in fact snakes:

When the truck awkwardly hit the curb,  a lot of water sloshed onto the sidewalk.  "Suddenly, I realized that something is moving," said Pourazam. "[I went] 'Oh what is that? Is that snakes?'"  "I went closer and saw no, they are eels," he said. "At that moment I didn't know what to do."

(Thanks to The Perts)

STEPHEN BREYER AND THE BLOG

Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is retiring today, which makes this a good time to recall Justice Breyer's interaction with the blog at the Sun Valley Writers Conference back in 2014, when the blog explained some of the finer points of constitutional law to him. Here's the original post.

 

FROLICKING WITH THE SQUIRRELS

Moose spotted on roof at Montana guest ranch

(Thanks to Ralph)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY SERVICE

Wild brawl erupts between two funeral directors at a cemetery

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

CHECK UNDER THE SOFA CUSHIONS

The strange search for dinosaur genitals

(Thanks to GJ and Frank)

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER CAESAR SALAD

Anchovies are reportedly raining from the sky across San Francisco

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Barry Nester, Ralph, Rich Alpin and vee)

GUYS IN ACTION

SWAMP BUGGY WITH FULL LOAD OF DUDES ON TOP SINKS IN MUD HOLE

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Thereby making them late for their Mensa meeting.")

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

Beer Made From Recycled Toilet Water Wins Admirers in Singapore

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Michael Parry, Barry Nester, James Flynn and Catherine)

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

X-ray finds 109 live animals in women's luggage at Bangkok airport

Including two armadillos.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

IT LOOKS LIKE A SPIDER TO US

Pringles is petitioning the scientific community to rename a spider the Pringles Spider because it looks like their famous logo.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

OUR ADVICE IS, DON'T USE THAT TOILET

A mum has asked for advice after her toilet mysteriously blew up

(Thanks to pharmaross)