Dave Barry's Blog

OTHER THAN THAT, A SMOOTH FLIGHT

A flight spent 10 minutes with no pilot when the first officer collapsed while the captain was in the bathroom

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

CSI: THE WOODS

Bear steals trail camera in New Hampshire

You know who put him up to it.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FLORIDA MAN IN ACTION

Man allegedly chases kids to Family Dollar for ding-dong-ditch ‘joke’ at his door

(Thanks to Rick Day, who says "And stay off his lawn!")

CHICAGO SIGHTING

Here I am at my event in Chicago last night with blog stalwart Not My Usual Alias, who is (I think) dressed as Gene Weingarten dressed as the Costco Chicken Guy. Again: Do not ask me to explain.

BOOK TOUR UPDATE

Attention: Qatar

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Scientists discover giant missing blob of water in the middle of the Atlantic

(Thanks to The Perts)

UROLOGY PROFESSIONAL OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Urology Professional of the Week So Far.

(Thanks to John Finn)

CSI: NEBRASKA

Multiple women stealing comforters from JCPenney’s, Lincoln Police say

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

YOU KNOW WHO WAS BEHIND THIS

Snake halts Japanese bullet trains

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

Robot sets record by solving Rubik's cube in .103 seconds

(Thanks to Rick Day)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Your fingers 'prune' the exact same way each time, study suggests

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Gary Schroeder, who asks "What would we do without studies?")

PHARMAROSS SIGHTING

Tonight at my event at the Poisoned Pen in Scottsdale, the completely insane extremely prolific blog contributor known as pharmaross presented me with a miniature ceramic Cialis bathtub. Do not ask me why.

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

'This should not be published': Scientists cast doubt on study claiming trees 'talk' before solar eclipses

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

After solar eclipses you can't shut them up.

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Naked Man Found in Lowe’s Display Shed with Vaseline and Phone

(Thanks to Actual Name)

CANADA: A NATION IN FEAR

Plane Drops Frozen Excrement Through Unsuspecting Homeowner’s Roof: “My head was only about 12 or 15 feet away”

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

A radar image of a speed offender caught in central Switzerland last month has revealed that the culprit was not only a duck but probably a repeat offender, local authorities have said.

(Thanks to Doug Shedd, Ron Wylie and Ralph)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Mystery of 'exploding birds' deepens in California

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

HOLD OFF ON THAT MORTGAGE PAYMENT

Universe expected to decay in 10⁷⁸ years, much sooner than previously thought

(Thanks to Ralph, The Perts and some guy who doesn't want credit for some reason.)

HOW MANY BEERS DO YOU HAVE?

What is the optimal number of beers to drink in one sitting?

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SHE HAS OUR VOTE

South Jersey Assembly candidate selling photos of her feet as online adult content

(Thanks to pharmaross)