Dave Barry's Blog

WELL WHAT ROAD IS IT *SUPPOSED* TO TAKE?

Florida Highway Patrol troopers work at corralling 12-foot gator on Alligator Alley

(Thanks to pharmaross)

PRIORITIES

Woman takes selfie on top of her car as it sinks into icy river and rescuers rush to save her in Canada

(Thanks to Corey Smith)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Water buffalo escapes Fresno home, gets involved in low-speed chase with CHP officers

(Thanks to Ralph)

ATTENTION, AUSTRALIANS SEEKING A FUN CAREER OPPORTUNITY:

Seek no further.

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

THERE'S A 'SHORTFALL'

Condom sales limp during pandemic, world's biggest maker says

(Thanks to The Perts)

MIDWEST DINING REPORT

Drunk Wisconsin Woman Drops Pants and Runs Around IHOP

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Alberta's poop predicts the peak of the Omicron infections is near

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

OH SHUT UP

Earth's Insides Are Cooling Faster Than We Thought, And It Will Mess Things Up

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and Steve K.)

OOPS

The man was left red-faced when the inspector discovered that the distressed man had mistaken a part of his sofa for a snake.

SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT

An Ohio-based hairstylist has spent the last nine years of his life creating the world’s largest human hair ball out of the cut hair of his clients.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

‘IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE’

UFO spotter makes sighting in Earth's orbit that's '100 per cent proof'

(Thanks to John Lobert)

BOLO

Search underway for missing kangaroo in Alabama

(Thanks to Ralph)

ALWAYS GOOD TO HAVE LEGAL COUNSEL

Wandering seal leads police on slow-speed chase to law firm in England

(Thanks to Ralph)

HE WAS ‘TRYING TO BUILD UP HIS IMMUNE SYSTEM’

Police stop nude jogger on Microsoft campus after seeing ‘illuminated’ buttocks

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NATIONAL PRIORITIES

Ruling party presidential candidate Lee Jae-myung said Friday he will add hair loss to ailments covered by national health insurance

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

NOTED

A doctor has urged people to not put hot sauce in a used condom to avoid pregnancies.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GONNA BE A FUN SEMESTER

Tenured Michigan university professor, 74, who wore a 'space helmet' AND mask for Zoom class is placed on leave for calling students 'vectors of disease' for wanting to attend in-person learning

(Thanks to Kirsten Martin and Dave Vander Ark)

THE NEW NAME WILL BE ‘SHITTE’

Swedish village decides to change its name after residents were fed up with being censored when they try to write about their lives on Facebook

(Thanks to Ralph)

PULITZER ALERT

How Many Nipples Do Cats Have?

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BUT YOU CAN KEEP YOUR LIVER

There’s a settlement in Antarctica that is suitable for families except for one major requirement: they must undergo an operation to to remove their appendix before they move in

(Thanks to maryann, also Jim Kenaston, who says “On reflection, maybe our HOA isn't so bad after all.”)