Dave Barry's Blog

BOFFINS HITTING THE BONG AGAIN

Transformer-style 'radioactive metal aliens' may exist in the universe, claim boffins

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

VETERINARIANS RECOMMEND NO MORE THAN 37

'Incredibly lucky' Malton cat recovers after eating 43 hairbands

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOUR PANTS DON'T FIT

Our entire galaxy is warping, and a gigantic blob of dark matter could be to blame

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

THEY (WE REFER TO THE LLAMAS) HAVE ALL PASSED THE FLORIDA BAR

Therapy llamas help law students in Sacramento relax

(Thanks to Doug in Sacramento)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Guinea Pig Spa Days

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

AUSTRALIAN POLITICS STARTING TO RESEMBLE AUSTRALIAN WILDLIFE

NT Chief Minister Natasha Fyles allegedly assaulted with cream-covered pancake at Nightcliff Markets

(Thanks to Jim Perth)

HOLD OFF ON THAT MORTGAGE PAYMENT

The formation of a supercontinent on Earth could wipe out humans and any other mammals that are still around in 250m years, according to a study.

(Thanks to Doug, Ron T. and Jim Kenaston)

'COULD BE'

This Flying Car Just Wowed the Detroit Auto Show. It Could Be in the Skies by 2025.

(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who says "Mark your calendar.")

CSI: K'GARI

Dingo burglarizes boat, steals purse and snacks

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Considering the continent, I’m shocked that it didn’t also eat the tourists.")

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

An underground network of wildlife lovers are illegally ‘beaver bombing’ local rivers: ‘They are the heroes of our time’

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

BOLO

Police warn of 20 naked, garter-wearing men spotted in Fukuoka suburb

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid and Ralph)

WE ALL GET THE MUNCHIES

Airport Security Officer Caught on Video Apparently Eating Wads of Cash Taken from Traveler

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AND IN SPORTS

PIÑATA HIT TAKES OUT THREE PARTYGOERS

(Thanks to John Lobert)

ATTENTION, HALLMARK CHANNEL:

I met my true love in the dog park. He invited me on a date to pick up 600 pounds of frozen rats and a baby owl.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

UNLIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

A species of jellyfish carrying one of the most deadly venoms in the world is capable of learning despite not having a brain, new research shows

(Thanks to EricY, who says "Florida drivers have been doing this for years.")

BAAAA, DUDE

Herd of Sheep Eat 100kg of Cannabis in Greece

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE WORSENING SITUATION IN CANADA CONTINUES TO WORSEN

Passengers stuck upside down on Canada’s Wonderland ride

(Thanks to The Perts)

'EMERGING' IS BEING USED HERE IN THE SENSE OF 'STUPID'

An emerging fitness trend known as "Tarzan Movement" is teaching followers to embrace their inner "gorilla" by walking on all fours and swinging from trees.

(Thanks to Mary Smith)

CSI: FLATHEAD COUNTY

10:18 p.m. Some high school kids drove a truck into a row of porta potties.

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

SO THEY CAN BE ISSUED DRIVERS' LICENSES

Florida researchers urge people to report sightings of non-native ‘Jesus Lizards’

(Thanks to Ralph)