Dave Barry's Blog

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS

Ice marathon runner dons polar bear suit, breaks world record

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man uses flame thrower to melt ice on Georgia street

(Thanks to The Perts)

'THE COUPLE WAS SITUATED IN FRONT OF A PET GROOMING BUSINESS'

Even In Key West, You Will Get Arrested For Having Sex On a Public Sidewalk

(Thanks to Charles Cates, who says "This is why we need a new Constitutional convention.")

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Elvis Presley's personalised jockstrap for sale

(Thanks to pharmaross and Rick Day)

WHAT'S THAT GLOW?

This famous Florida drinking fountain is radioactive. Would you take a sip?

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ATTENTION TONY JUDGES

The saga of Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski trial is now an off-Broadway musical

(Thanks to Annette)

MEANWHILE IN THE HOTBED OF CRIMINAL ACTIVITY THAT IS FLATHEAD COUNTY

2:07 p.m. A caller did not need law enforcement, but mentioned he did a great cover of Bonnie Raitt that can be heard on iTunes.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

MEN:

Do not click here.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

TACKLING THE ISSUES

Over or Under? Charmin Settles the 'How to Hang Toilet Paper' Debate

(Thanks to pharmaross)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Kiehl's, a pioneer in skincare for all, continues to champion inclusivity and body positivity with the launch of a bold new campaign introducing Pubic Display Type. This first-of-its-kind font, crafted entirely from actual human pubic hair, is a creative response to censorship and an unapologetic celebration of self-care for all skin, including intimate areas.

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

WE'VE HAD BARBERS WHO WOULDN'T EVEN NOTICE

Haircuts interrupted when cow forces its way into barbershop

(Thanks to MOTW)

AND IN SPORTS

World record set as GR man lifts 206 pounds while riding unicycle

(Thanks to Dave Vander Ark)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

A Polish general was dismissed last week by the nation’s defense minister after reportedly misplacing a batch of anti-tank mines that were later found in an Ikea warehouse

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Good luck assembling them.

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY FLIGHT

Qantas has issued an apology and refund to a passenger who had to endure eight hours sitting in someone else’s vomit after a passenger on the previous leg became violently ill.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THAT'S ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE YOURSELF

Surgeon and father of three performs vasectomy on himself as a gift for his wife: ‘I am really brave’

(Thanks to John Lobert and Roberto)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Scientists detect chirping cosmic waves in an unexpected part of space

(Thanks to GJ, who says "Birds in space?")

BUT THEY CAN LEGALLY DRIVE AND VOTE IN FLORIDA

Elephants can’t sue to leave the zoo, court rules

(Thanks to Jim Perth, Charles Cates and Barry Nester)

HEY, WE DON'T GET A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES TO DO THIS DOWN HERE

Florida snow: Truck driver crashes while doing doughnuts in road, deputies say

(Thanks to Ralph)

NO WE DON'T

The Exhaust Burger is a prototype for a grill you attach to your car's exhaust system.

(Thanks to Terri Card)