Dave Barry's Blog

WE SAW GATHERING OF NIGELS OPEN FOR THE CLASH

Gathering of 372 Nigels eases fears of mass ‘Nige’ extinction

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THE SCIENCE IS (BURRRRRPP) SETTLED

Drinking beer every night may lower your risk of dementia, scientists claim.

(Thanks to Emile, Leslie and w and Michael Moyers)

Is it just us, or do "scientists" release a new study on this subject -- often contradicting the previous study -- roughly every 17 minutes? 

NOT BITTER AT ALL!

New Jersey man is caught making daily visits to PEE on grave of ex-wife he divorced 48 years ago

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

MEANWHILE IN CANADIAN SPORTS

The Kelowna Kinsmen Club hosted a cornhole tournament over the weekend open to the public, with hopes of drawing attention to the sport while also attracting new members.

(Thanks to BigUke)

RATS ARE BASICALLY GROUND-BASED SQUIRRELS

Over 1,500 Virginia Residents Left Without Power Because Of Rat

(Thanks to Rick Day)

IT’S ESCALATING

Woman fires shot during fight at Chuck E. Cheese in Brandon, deputies say

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, EricY, John Lobert and Ralph)

THERE ARE NO WORDS

A British soldier who was captured while fighting in Ukraine has revealed how he was forced by the Russians to listen to ABBA and Cher on repeat while a prisoner.

(Thanks to David Snoke, who says “at least it wasn’t ‘Copacabana’”)

TO YOU ALL YOU BLOGSTERS WHO BELONG TO THE TRIBE:

Shana tovah!

AND THE SO-CALLED ‘UNITED NATIONS SECURITY COUNCIL’ DOES NOTHING

The British UFO Research Association (BUFORA) has been sent a report of a pocket-sized alien with fears the mini 'Martian' could be a scout for an extra-terrestrial force

(Thanks to Ralph)

FOOL

Scots man saves squirrel trapped down toilet in heroic rescue mission caught on camera

(Thanks to Ralph)

”Heroic.”

JUST STOP, RESEARCHERS

Japan-led researchers develop rechargeable cyborg cockroach

(Thanks to John Grant)

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Cow poops, sits inside ATM vestibule as man covers nose and withdraws money

This has been The News From Abroad.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

Woman who brought raccoon to North Dakota bar is charged

(Thanks to EricY)

WE HAVE MANY QUESTIONS

Number one is, what if the guests have to go to the bathroom?

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Loch Ness Monster 'may live' in Stranger Things-style parallel universe

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says”We finally get an explanation that makes some sense.”)

IT’S WHY WE’RE HERE, EH DUDE?

Michigan man asks border officer if he could buy pot

(Thanks to The Perts)

CLOSE ENOUGH FOR GOVERMENT WORK

DC Misspells ‘Virginia' on Street Sign

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

SPIDERS GET DIARRHEA?

Toilet user's horror as huge spider perched on top of loo roll after 'bout of diarrhoea'

You know the continent.

(Thanks to Ralph)

IN OUR DAY WE’D DISSECT ’EM

Snakes and mice are falling from the ceiling of a Lexington high school

(Thanks to Rick Day)

TRAGEDY IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

6:15 p.m. After being struck by a vehicle, a raccoon passed away and its raccoon friend seemed “worked up.”

Thanks to Mary Smith)