Dave Barry's Blog

TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE

Bomb Squad are called to A&E where patient turned up with two-inch-wide WWII shell lodged in his rectum which got there when he 'slipped and fell on it during a clear-out'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION VS. SNAKES

Homeowner Fighting Snake Infestation Burns Down Maryland House

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

(We're assuming it was a guy homeowner.)

THE 2021 DAVE BARRY HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

Here you go. Please forgive us.

WE SAW SEA OF PACKAGES OPEN FOR THE RAMONES

'A sea of packages:' Tennessee residents worried about neighbor's overflowing deliveries

(Thanks to ImNotDave)

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Snowstorm Forces Customers, Staff To Sleep Overnight In IKEA

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)

THIS WOULD ALSO WORK FOR FUNERALS

Groom misses wedding with food poisoning, bride improvises with mannequin

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHO CAN BLAME THEM?

Australia is the drunkest country in the world, according to survey

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHERE THE HELL IS THE UNITED NATIONS?

Man who sold fried grasshoppers on Uganda Airlines plane faces jail

(Thanks to Ralph)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A FAIRY TALE

Bride passes out, vomits and gets pooped on during disaster wedding

(Thanks to pharmaross)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Seacroft builder found face of E.T on sheet of plywood at work

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THIS IS WHY WE NEED TO BAN KARAOKE

Man Suffers Collapsed Lung by Singing His Heart Out During Karaoke

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU AND THE TALKING SNAKE ARE FREE TO GO

A Louisiana man busted early today for allegedly trying to enter a neighbor’s apartment at 2 AM explained to police that “a big snake told him to open the victim’s door and go inside,” according to an arrest affidavit.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE DRIVERS

Florida is full of snakes, alligators, sharks and iguanas. Which do you fear the most?

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT'S A FINE PRODUCT

DeWalt Wireless Earphones Recalled Because They're Bursting Into Flames

(Thanks to ImNotDave)

We're guessing this happens when they play "Copacabana."

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Playboy model is kicked out of Florida mall after stripping down and covering her nude body in Nutcracker-themed PAINT to hand out nuts in bizarre festive stunt

(Thanks to Michael Moyer and pharmaross)

WE SAW GUT TWEAK OPEN FOR THE CLASH

Gut tweak can make anyone a ‘morning person,’ Israeli poop analysis suggests

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

EMAILS THIS BLOG NEVER FINISHED READING

Hello Davebarry,

Hope you are doing well.

I’m a Google marketing professional, and

STATES RANKED BY OBEDIENCE LEVEL OF DOGS

Lucy demands a recount.

IT’S CALLED A ‘BOTTLE’

The US Air Force is getting new tech that will make it easier for pilots to pee in flight

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

AND IN SPORTS

A female hockey fan at a Golden Knights game in Vegas decided to remove her prosthetic leg and beat another fan with it during a brawl in the stands.

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)