Dave Barry's Blog

SO IT LEGALLY QUALIFIES FOR A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Scientists Create Yeast With Important Human Genes

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet, who says "Shall we send it to Washington?"; and Ralph, who says "What can go wrong?")

THEY WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT POTATO SALAD

Texas barbecue restaurant manager says thief stole almost $3K worth of brisket

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

LOOKS LIKE A LOT OF, UM.... FUN

Inside the Gathering of the Juggalos Festival where rap fans put hot peppers in their privates & playfight with sex toys

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

BECAUSE YOU NEED TO WASTE MORE TIME

Who is the most famous person from your town? Interactive map allows you to click and see

(Thanks to manual tomato, who says “I'm south of Bob Dylan, also south of Michael Jackson and pretty close to Abraham Lincoln. Genghis Khan's birthplace was north of my home town.”)

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS BLOG’S LAST NAME IS SPELLED WITH AN ‘A’

Florida Man Arrested After Pulling AR-15 In Parking Space Dispute

(Thanks to James Flynn and Asher Scheilner)

LOOKS LEGIT TO US

Ghostly face captured behind woman feeling 'very uncomfortable' on eerie island

(Thanks to John Lobert, who asks “What would we do without paranormal investigators?”)

ROCKET CITY TRASH PANDAS UPDATE

Minor league team’s firework show goes horribly wrong, sends fans running

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HE HAS OUR VOTE

Meet the Kenyan presidential candidate campaigning on marijuana and hyena testicles

(Thanks to Ralph)

BRILLIANT! AND BY ‘BRILLIANT,’ WE MEAN ‘STUPID.’

Dutch beer company Heineken recently teamed up with sneaker designer and customizer Dominic Ciambone, aka The Shoe Surgeon, to create a special sneaker with beer-filled soles.

(Thanks to Ralph)

GOATS ARE DISTANT RELATIVES OF SQUIRRELS

Goat runs loose in Spanish city, breaks into jewelry store

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN OUTDOOR SPORTS

40lbs Catfish Delivers Perfect Crotch Shot To Indiana Fisherman

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THESE ITEMS JUST IN FROM THE SPORTS DESK

Athlete's 400m race ruined after penis keeps falling out of loose-fitting shorts

(Thanks to pharmaross and Roberto)

Golden Eagles' Boner unquestioned leader of line

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUESS THE STATE

Video Shows Lamborghini Urus Speed Through Stop Sign, T-Bone Car, Fly Into Roof of Home, Catch Fire

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

AT EASE, SOLDIER

US Army is developing a tactical bra for its female soldiers

(Thanks to Barry Nester. Al Barkafski and Le Petomane)

WHAT COULD ETC.?

Dad invents flamethrower for kids to play with at home: ‘Best toy ever’

(Thanks to Frank)

WEBSITE UPDATE

The slow-loading issue seems to be fixed. The problem appears to have been caused by mayonnaise in the carburetor. Judi has been rehired on a probationary basis.

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

A Houma man was arrested for allegedly catching too many sharks and having meth in his possession, according to the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

LOOKING FOR 'SOMETHING DIFFERENT' IN THE WAY OF FOOTWEAR?

Look no further.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, PLEASE RESUME YOUR JOURNEY

Florida Man Says “I Feel Free. Crazy And Stupid” After Leading Troopers On 130 Mph Chase

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BARILLA NO. 5

NASA FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT THAT WEIRD SPAGHETTI IT FOUND ON MARS WAS

(Thanks to The Perts)