Dave Barry's Blog

STAY CLASSY, NEWLYWEDS!

Newlyweds charge guest £3.66 for eating extra slice of cake after reviewing CCTV footage

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SOMETHING NICE, FOR A CHANGE

Good morning Blog!

I have no idea if this will get to Dave or Judi because Im not a Moatie anymore (it's been years due to life and stuff) so maybe I could still find them through that, but I don't have any idea where the Moat might be at this point. But!

I want to say a very heartfelt thank you to Dave and Judi and this blog and the Moat. Many years ago I fell into the Moat quite by accident and stayed a good while. And met a fellow Moatie called Joshie. I have never actually met in person this Joshie from the Moat, but last week Josh gave my husband a kidney. His left kidney in fact. And he gave him an awesome kidney and Eric should have a long and healthy life now because of Josh. All because I met Josh on the Moat. While playing with Moaties. On the Dave Barry blog. so.. if this can get passed along by any chance to Judi or Dave.. Thank you! You guys are the reason my husband gets to live to a ripe old age. Bet they never thought they could be directly responsible for saving a life. And yet, here we are :-)

Someday when they both heal, we will be meeting Joshie live and in person. After 20+ years, I will meet a Moatie live and thank him too. Because I still haven't met the man. But the blog attracts some really awesome people.

Thank you for existing! You've given me an awesome thing because you do!

Wolfie

(Jessica)

Clarification for you newbies: "MOAT" means Mother Of All Threads. From judi: "It was a long thread that got started on the blog but then eventually they transferred to something else and they continued having lots of gatherings and they made a calendar and all kinds of stuff."

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE THE CIA

A venture capital firm funded by the CIA has officially placed its bets on bringing back extinct species like the woolly mammoth and the thylacine,

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

‘PILLOW NOT INCLUDED AS MY DOG HAS TAKEN TO IT’

Scots wife giving away coffin online after husband lives 'longer than she hoped'

(Thanks to Ralph)

YOU KNOW WHO WAS OPERATING THIS DRONE

Queensland's Browns Plains without electricity after drone food delivery crashes into powerlines

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

DON’T CROSS THE CORLEONES

Dolphins keep dying mysteriously at this Las Vegas casino

(Thanks to Charles Cates) 

STRIKING A BLOW FOR THE FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHT TO BUY A PUMPKIN

Motor lodge receptionist awarded $21k after being yelled at for buying a pumpkin

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

IMAGINE OUR JOY

McDonald’s is releasing new Happy Meals for adults to recreate ‘one of the most nostalgic experiences’

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

Cow dung speakers

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)

AND IN MIAMI SPORTS

Miami Dolphins fans spark controversy by setting up make-shift strip club in parking lot ahead of game

Best Comment So Far: "Disgusting! Does anyone know when the next Miami home game is?"

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WELL, SHE DIDN'T GET PREGNANT

Florida reporter defends putting condom on mic during Hurricane Ian broadcast

(Thanks to Roberto)

‘NOT AN IDEAL SOLUTION’

An international team led by researchers from the University of Otago in New Zealand were able to show that castration of male sheep delays the aging of DNA, and the same principles could apply to humans as well.

(Thanks to Roberto)

IN OTHER BAT-RELATED NEWS

Trailer filled with hundreds of pounds of bat droppings stolen from Lincoln business

(Thanks to Steve Bradford) 

SCIENTISTS FINALLY DO SOMETHING USEFUL

Scientists Create AI-Powered Laser Turret That Kills Cockroaches

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and Rod Nunley)

MAKE IT A HALLOWEEN THEME

California school dance postponed due to bats in gym

(Thanks to Ralph)

Rats are basically winged squirrels.

BOLO

He can blend right in.

(Thanks to Ralph)

AFTER HE CONSUMED THEM

Man attacks restaurant employees after being denied refund for his tacos

(Thanks to Bill Carver, who says “What choice did he have?”)

THIS IS HUGE

The purple M&M is here, but not the way you might think

(Thanks to Steve K., who says "I've always hoped I'd live long enough.")

UPDATE

American Airlines says a mechanical issue was responsible for strange sounds coming from a plane’s public announcement system during a flight from Los Angeles to Dallas.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

"Mechanical issue" is code for "evil spirit."

AND IN SPORTS

Diamondback rattlesnake interrupts Florida high school football game