Dave Barry's Blog

IS WILLIE NELSON AVAILABLE FOR A BENEFIT CONCERT?

An Alabama racing pigeon that survived a lengthy and mysterious trip across the Pacific Ocean — landing last month in an Australian backyard — is now facing the death penalty.

(Thanks to wiredog)

JUST IN CASE, WE MUST *STOP THIS CHEETO*

Debate Rages Over Whether Single Speeding Cheeto Could Destroy Space Station

(Thanks to Rick Day)

AUSTRALIA: EVEN THE SPONGES ARE DEADLY

Three new carnivorous sponges found in Great Australian Bight

(Thanks to Dave Emery)

NO IT'S NOT

Monkey Tail Beard Is The Latest Male Fashion Trend

(Thanks to Matt Filar and pharmaross)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT 2020 WAS OVER

Bad omen for UK as Tower of London raven missing, feared dead

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

IT'S ON THE RIGHT STREET

Coronation Street actor finds 4ft royal python on toilet seat

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

DUDES

Activists Plan To Give Away Marijuana At COVID Vaccination Sites In D.C.

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAA

Drunk man steals floating tiki hut in Key West

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE ARE NOT THE ONLY NATION IN TURMOIL

People in Toronto are anonymously mailing cow poo to each other as a prank

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IN THAT CASE, SIR...

West Monroe man says he had permission to urinate on house

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THEREBY RAISING THE AVERAGE AUDIENCE IQ

Praying mantises watching TV.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

UH-OH

A new machine called ColdSnap, which looks and functions like a Keurig for soft serve ice cream, has emerged as one of the buzziest products of this year's all-digital CES tech show.

(Thanks to Fred Preller, who says “We were promised flying cars, which I never wanted. THIS I WANT!”)

ORGANIC, DUDE

Psychedelic Mushrooms Grew in a Man's Veins After He Injected Them

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

YOU GO AHEAD, FOOD-SAFETY-AGENCY PERSONS

Maggot-like worms safe for humans to eat: food safety agency

(Thanks to pharmaross and Barry Nester)

FLORIDA MAN SAYS:

Don’t mess with our manatees.

HE WON'T GET FAR ON FOOT

Russian CO Under Investigation for Stealing His Own Ship's Propellers

(Thanks to Michael Hardt, who says "When I quit my last job, I took a stapler.")

THIS ACTUALLY MAKES PRACTICAL SENSE IN FLORIDA

Residents of the usually quiet South Florida community of Palmetto Bay are buzzing after spotting one of their neighbors riding his military style tank down residential roads.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Not just a tank: a "military style" tank.

THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER

Serial toilet thief captured by police in Japan

(Thanks to Ralph)

SO SWEET

CROSSVILLE LAW FIRM GIVING AWAY FREE DIVORCE FOR VALENTINES DAY

(Thanks to Ralph)

BECAUSE THEY NEED A RIDE?

Every 8 Years, Swarms of Millipedes Stop Trains in Japan. Scientists Finally Know Why

(Thanks to Art Kraus, who says “And here I thought I'd heard every excuse for being late to work.”)