Dave Barry's Blog

IS THERE ANYTHING THAT *ISN'T* OUR FAULT?

French blame 'Americanisation' of baking bread for causing farting epidemic

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have revealed that they’ve tested over 1,000 Oreos to figure out the best way to eat the beloved cookie.

(Thanks to Annette)

THERE'S AN OINTMENT FOR THAT

What's That Big White Splotch on Uranus?

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

ATTENTION ALL HANDS: PEE OVER THE SIDE

Toilets on the Navy's newest aircraft carriers clog frequently, and fixing them costs $400,000 a flush

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

NOBODY IN AUSTRALIA SHOULD TOUCH OR EVEN APPROACH *ANYTHING*

Australians warned not to touch or even approach the poisonous Dendrocnide moroides trees there

(Thanks to Matt Filar and Rick Day)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, HERE'S A TREAT AND YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Man tells deputies his name is ‘Dog’ and barks during traffic stop, Florida cops say

(Thanks to Doug in Sacramento)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Potatoes are better than human blood for making space concrete bricks, scientists say

(Thanks to Mordechai Michael Schmutter)

MAYONNAISE: FOOD OF LOVE

They actually met for the first time in the mayonnaise aisle and they wanted to commemorate the occasion by returning to this specific location.

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

NEXT LEVEL OF *WHAT*?

Designs To Take Your Nails To The Next Level

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

You Can Now Order a Starbucks Drink Based on Your Zodiac Sign

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

Asteroid the size of 22 tuna fish to fly closer to Earth than the Moon

(Thanks to John Grant and Maryann)

PAGING LES NESSMAN

Nevada church to have 10K Easter eggs dropped from helicopter

(Thanks to Mike in Dayton)

CUBA, KANSAS: CITY OF EXCITEMENT

What started as a friendly competition with a neighboring town to see who could keep a rocking chair oscillating the longest, has turned into an annual tradition of food and merriment.

(Thanks to Dave Vander Ark)

None of YOUR business

What color are YOUR boogers?

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says "It's snot for me to say.")

UP TO THAT POINT IT WAS A FUN EXPERIENCE

Tourist survives bungee jump fall in Thailand after cord snaps

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THE ENVELOPE PLEASE...

'Not the most attractive': Underdog snail wins Mollusc of the Year

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

A BLOW FOR JUSTICE

Farting Lawyer Wins $170K Over Being Refused Permission to Work From Home

(Thanks to Annette)

WE SAW THREE LOOSE MEERKATS OPEN FOR THE KINGSTON TRIO

Three meerkats on the loose in Netherlands town

(Thanks to John Lobert)

DEFFANITELY

Are we growing more dumber? Americans’ IQ scores drop in four of five measurements

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

1:21 p.m. A man who had previously shoplifted, did not shoplift today.  

8:18 p.m. A man kept approaching passersby and letting them know he was a murderer. 

(Thanks to Roberto)