Dave Barry's Blog

*AFTER* BEING CREMATED?

Family Cremated and Held Funeral for Loved One; 7 Months Later, They Discovered She Was Still Alive

(Thannks to Barry Nester)

NEW JERSEY DID NOT APPROVE

Florida man indicted after allegedly bringing 'small arsenal' on Amtrak train, law enforcement says

(Thanks to The Perts)

FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS

Researchers discover a new color outside the range of human color vision, but you have to laser your retinas to see it

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

FLYING CARS UPDATE

We are SO close.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

'THE DISPATCHER HUNG UP ON HIM AT ONE POINT, MISTAKING HIM FOR A TELEMARKETER'

Quicksand swallows man at Michigan beach near harbor dredging

(Thanks to Geoffrey Scott)

YUM

Scientists create the world's largest lab-grown chicken nugget, complete with artificial veins

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)

PLEASE MAKE A NOTE OF THESE

6 signs you've been abducted by aliens from nosebleeds to common skin complaint

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SOUNDS... PAINFUL

Flaming sex toys sparked blaze damaging three Staten Island homes, neighbor busted

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says he saw them open for the Sex Pistols)

'HE DID IT TO GAIN SOCIAL MEDIA FAME'

Man in police net for licking goat genitals

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

A FLORIDA MOTORCYCLE LICENSE

...is on the way.

(Thanks to EricY, who says he's half Russian.)

AND THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS' DOES NOTHING

Tourists upset after discovering Abbey Road is 'just a road'

(Thanks to Ralph)

CANADA SINKS EVER DEEPER INTO CHAOS

Kingston, Ont., police find drugs stuffed inside rotisserie chicken

Squirrels wreak havoc on Burlington family’s car

(Thanks to The Perts)

IF EXPERTS SAY SO, IT MUST BE TRUE

Jesus Christ's 'Body' Found! Experts Say Son of God's Corpse is Hidden In Giant Chamber Under Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt

(Thanks to Rick Day)

BUT IT HAS FLOWERS INSERTED IN IT

Chinese restaurant serving elephant poop dessert for authentic rainforest experience

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "Do you have anything less 'authentic?'")

YOU KNOW WHO RAN THIS OPERATION

Plane engine bursts into flames — because of a rabbit

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT WAS A SONY PLAYSTATION

'I feared I was going deaf - then discovered I had childhood toy stuck in my ear for 20 years'

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE TROGGS

Rock-dropping seagull closes university building

(Thanks to Ralph)

THIS IS WHY EXPERTS ARE VITAL

Man seen sticking finger up dog's anus to break up attack in viral video from London park, what do experts say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'SLEEP? FORGET IT.'

Sweden’s hottest show? Nonstop live coverage of the epic moose migration

(Thanks to The Perts)

PARTY!

Hanover woman charged for allegedly defecating in Hanover gas station beer cave

Incredibly, etc.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Unholy Slacker)