Dave Barry's Blog

AND IT WAS NOT DEAD

Grandad finds snake in bag of broccoli he bought in Aldi

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

FORGET SPACECRAFT; WHAT ABOUT FLYING CARS?

Aliens are helping Western governments develop spacecraft, expert claims

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who says "He's an expert, so he must know.")

THANKS TO EVERYBODY

...for the Happy Birthday wishes. I can honestly say this is the best birthday I've had in, like, a year. 

NOBODY EVER SAID THIS ABOUT 'COPACABANA'

"For some bizarre reason, women seem to feel compelled to take their shirts off when we play it..."

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

YOU MAY NOW KISS THE... WATCH OUT!

Mexican mayor weds crocodile in harvest ritual

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

WE'RE GONNA NEED A WETSUIT CHANGE

Florida woman felt a ‘tap’ on her paddleboard — and a hammerhead was hot on her tail

(Thanks to EricY)

WE'VE ALL DONE IT

Dennis Rodman Reveals He Played An NBA Game Right After Breaking His Penis

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

AND THEY WANT BEER

Asian hornet numbers 'absolutely crazy' this year

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

DON'T MESS WITH MAINE WOMEN

Maine woman punches bear that chased her dog

(Thanks to EricY)

DOWN BOY

Meet Thermonator, the Flamethrower-Wielding Robot Dog

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SOUTH FLORIDA SPORTS

Here's the moon rising while the sun sets over DRV Pink Stadium during the Inter Miami vs. Austin soccer game last night.

OR WHAT?

Kim Jong Un Orders North Koreans To Stop Killing Themselves

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who says "This should work.")

'UNTAPPED' IS MAYBE NOT THE BEST WORD CHOICE

The vagina has huge untapped medical potential.

(Thanks to Roberto)

AND IN SPORTS

Happy Bobby Bonilla Day Yesterday!

He's happy, anyway.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

Plymouth woman accused of driving drunk to job interview at Sheriff’s Department

(Thanks to Bernie Black, who says "Amazingly NOT a FL resident.")

THEY'LL LEAVE ONCE THEY SEE THE RENT PRICES

Tiny, winged insects swarm New York City: ‘The end is nigh’

(Thanks to Michael Parry)

OOPS

We might have accidentally killed the only life we ever found on Mars nearly 50 years ago

(Thanks to Matt Filar and Ed. Floden)

THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

Sex life of rare 'leopard-print' frog revealed

(Thanks to Steve Bradford and Michael Parry)

SWANS ARE BASICALLY LARGE FEATHERED SQUIRRELS

London train line halted by swan on the tracks

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

The croquet grudge match that decides how River Nene is pronounced

(Thanks to Ralph)