Dave Barry's Blog

SPRING IS HERE, TIME TO REPAINT THE LAWN

Do Your Neighbors Paint Their Lawns Green? Increasingly, Yes

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Poop and parody to be argued at Supreme Court

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w and Robert Moats)

WE'RE SEEING KERMIT

Woman discovers Shrek's face in pistachio ice cream

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "You guessed it: she was gobsmacked.")

HE'S PROBABLY THRILLED TO LEARN THEY WERE WRONG

Norfolk council sorry for wrongly telling man he is dead

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

HARD PASS

Pike Place Fish Market to Offer New Smoked Salmon Peeps for Easter

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

BUT WE KNOW WHO'S REALLY GIVING THE ORDERS

Murder, Inc.: Gang of Crows Runs Denver's Uptown Neighborhood

(Thanks to Ralph)

'LAMB MOWERS'

This company lets you rent sheep to mow your lawn in an environmentally friendly way

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

CSI: NORFOLK

Burglar stole vibrator after breaking in through dog flap

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

ALSO VERY FAINT TRACES OF FARTS

Mount Everest has preserved climbers’ frozen sneezes for centuries: study

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Six scientists swallow lego heads to see how long it takes to poo them out

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

We have the vague feeling that we already blogged this, but we are way too lazy to look into it. As a precautionary measure, we will fire judi.

WHY THE HELL NOT?

Florida woman pushes for ‘Sugar Daddy and Mommy Appreciation Day’ at board meeting

“You guys may not be aware, but Florida has the largest per-capita population of sugar daddies in the U.S.”

(Thanks to Dave Vander Ark)

YOU GO, STUD

90-year-old tortoise becomes father of three

(Thanks to Michael Parry, who says “Guy tortoise in action)

SURE

Philly Meteorologist Says Her Colleague Likes To Be “Double Fisted” On Live TV: “She Means Beer, My God”

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

FOOD, NOT PETS

Six giant African land snails have been found in the luggage of a traveler who flew to Michigan from the west African country of Ghana.

(Thanks to EricY and Sean T, who says "Progress in the investigation had been slow.")

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

TODAY IN GOBSMACKERY

People gobsmacked to discover meaning of squiggly symbol on car dashboard

(Thanks to John Lobert, who notes that "the gobsmacked bar gets lower and lower.")

WITHOUT STUDIES, WE WOULD KNOW NOTHING

Earning More Money Actually Does Make People Happier: Study

(Thanks to John Lobert)

CANADA: A NATION IN CHAOS

Skunks take over Winnipeg school

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NAH

Insect Farming Is Booming. But Is It Cruel?

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

BECAUSE WE NEED MORE MICE

Scientists have created baby mice with two fathers for the first time by turning male mouse stem cells into female cells in a lab.

(Thanks to EricY)