Dave Barry's Blog

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

What Happens When You Throw a Paper Plane From Space? These Physicists Found Out

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

What we found out is that physicists have a LOT of spare time.

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

Man escapes prison by hiding in luggage of fellow cellmate as he's released in France

(Thanks to Ralph)

THIS CANNOT BE GOOD

China Builds World's Lightest Mind-Controller That Turns Bees Into Military Cyborgs

(Thanks to Ralph)

We cannot allow the squirrels to gain access to this technology.

WE KEEP WARNING PEOPLE, BUT NOBODY LISTENS

Squirrels Take Over Yosemite

(Thanks to John Regan)

Thousands of squirrels are "swarming" one of America's nuclear bases, wreaking untold havoc as we speak

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer)

NO, YOU DON'T THROW IT AT THEM

Here, they explain how to use a disco ball to keep flies away outside

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "They could just play Barry Manilow instead.")

OTHER THAN THAT, A PERFECT NEIGHBOR

...he was caught walking around naked in his apartment building and using a dog whistle to harass his neighbors’ pets.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS IS COINCIDENCE

How one squirrel caused thousands to lose power in Taylorsville

Squirrel knocks out power to thousands in Helena Tuesday morning

(Thanks to EricY)

WE'RE ON OUR WAY

The annual Naughty N'awlins swinger convention, the National Federation of the Blind Convention and GalaxyCon are bringing thousands of visitors to the Crescent City this weekend.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WE'VE HAD CARS THAT SOUNDED LIKE THAT

Man Had 14 Toucans Stashed in His Volkswagen Dashboard, U.S. Says

(Thanks to Bill Carver and Alkali Bill)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

OSTRICH STEALS AND EATS WOMAN’S WEDDING RING

(Thanks to John Lobert)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Wisconsin police find drugs in bag labelled ‘Definitely Not a Bag Full of Drugs’

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR, AND PROTECT, THE COWSILLS

Robot coyotes protect US military airfields

(Thanks to Ralph and MOTW)

WHEN WE THINK 'ROMANCE,' WE THINK 'ALTOONA'

Duo jailed for having intercourse at busy Altoona intersection, police report

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Despite What You've Heard, Peeing On A Jellyfish Sting Is NEVER The Answer

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

BACK IN THE SIXTIES, THAT'S DEFINITELY HOW SOME OF US READ IT

Did Shakespeare Write Hamlet While He Was Stoned?

(Thanks to Gary Schroeder)

SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT

The US military’s most infamous ‘sky penis’ drawings, ranked'

(Thanks to Patricia Dorfman)

THE OTHER VEGETABLES FEAR AND RESPECT IT

Watch this cucumber squirt out its seeds at ballistic speeds

(Thanks to N1LUL Raymond)

WHO SAYS KIDS TODAY LACK INITIATIVE?

Child gets stuck inside claw machine at Mason Community Center

(Thanks to Ron Wylie and Greg Snow)

RIGHT. HE 'FORGOT.'

Man Forgets Wife at Gas Station, Only Realizes 300 Km Later

(Thanks to Ralph)

SMOKING

The Times spots a trend.