Dave Barry's Blog

THIS BLOG WAS NOT INVITED

'Even the port-a-potties are beautifully designed!' Bill Gates' daughter Jennifer, 25, has tents erected on her 124-acre property as she makes last minute preparations for extravagant wedding to millionaire equestrian Nayel Nassar

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

AND IN SPORTS

Wisconsin man grows 2,500-pound pumpkin, but a crack will keep it out of record books

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WILD KINGDOM

A rare bird spotted in England turned out to be a seagull covered in curry

(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says "And it was delicious.")

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

Kentucky store earns Guinness record for world's largest pocket knife

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

FORESHADOWING

Unfortunate moment bride bats ball straight into new husband's groin caught on camera

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

Note that she then runs the bases with little apparent concern for her spouse.

IT HAD LEFT ITS FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT

Video shows bison with its head trapped in car at Quebec wildlife park

(Thanks to Bonni and Craig Harden)

INCLUDING A YOUNG KEITH RICHARDS

‘Sophisticated’: ancient faeces shows humans enjoyed beer and blue cheese 2,700 years ago

(Thanks to many people)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Here's a Wall Street Journal article devoted to the topic of whether you should part your hair on the side or in the middle.

TOMORROW'S HEADLINE: CITY COUNCIL TURNED INTO FROGS

The Christchurch City Council will stop paying The Wizard $16,000 a year after more than two decades on the public payroll to “provide acts of wizardry” for the city.

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

WE'RE GUESSING IT'S THE SQUIRRELS

Did a meteor explode over New Hampshire? That may explain the boom

(Thanks to Flathead County Frank)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Toilet Explosion Rocks Pine City Home: ‘It Was Like Old Faithful’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS SEEMS LEGIT

UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA (UBA)
653 Gana Fasola Street, Victoria Island,
Lagos, Nigeria,

Attention:

During our regularly scheduled account maintenance and verification
procedures to effect transfer of fund , we have detected a slight
error in your receiving information.

This might be due to either of the following reasons:

1. A recent change in your personal information .
2. Submitting a change of ownership/banking information by JIM TAMMY
who claimed that you are late and he is your Partner/heir apparent.

Please update and verify your information as you receive this message
so as to proceed with the remittance process within three banking
days.

Yours Faithfully,
DR. PETER AMAIBE
UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA (UBA)
(Head, Banking Operations

OR AS THEY SAY IN AUSTRALIA, A QUORUM

Nearly 100 snakes found in Santa Rosa home

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT CLAIMS TO BE MURRAY THE K*

Strange Radio Signal From Galactic Center Has Astronomers Flummoxed

(Thanks to The Perts)

*That’s for you geezers.

HARD PASS

Milk Fish Intestines

(Thanks to Ralph)

THESE GANGSTERS TODAY

Mafia bosses worry for future as 'soft' millennial mobsters prefer texting to pistol-whipping

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

IN THAT CASE, MA'AM...

Boca Raton resident Chivan Stanley allegedly told police that the reason one tire of her 2012 Hyundai was on a rim, another tire was missing and her driver side mirror was broken off was because “it might have blown up.”

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WAKEY WAKEY

Brit woman finds terrifying 4ft escaped python lurking in her toilet bowl at 5.30am

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAA

Central Florida man wielding sword sets fire in roadway, floods booking office after arrest

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

MARRIED GUYS IN ACTION

A man who was tired of his wife’s “complaining” about the view from their home has built a rotating house that can spin as she wishes.

(Thanks to Rick Day)