May 18, 2022

MEAWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

Things are heating up.

(Thanks to Mary Smith and pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 12:56 PM
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IT WILL SOON BE COVERED IN SEAGULL POOP

Park bench dedicated to man who used to sit and shout at seagulls to 'f**k off'

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 12:54 PM
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IT SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

St. Pete woman charged with felony battery after throwing lettuce at someone

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 12:50 PM
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AND YOU THOUGHT THE NEWS COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE

A TikToker claiming to be a time traveller from 2236 has issued a stark warning to their followers, including a claim that Europe will be struck by a “deadly meteor” in autumn.

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Dave, I think this guy is for real.")

(Agreed. If we can't trust time-travelers on TikTok, who can we trust?)

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 12:49 PM
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JUST WHAT WE NEED

Aggressive hamsters.

(Thanks to Josh Evans)

They definitely opened for somebody.

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 12:35 PM
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LET FREEDOM RING

A federal judge ruled Monday that North Carolina bureaucrats violated the Constitution when they tried to ban a Flying Dog beer over a possible penis on the label.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 12:31 PM
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FLORIDA EDUCATION REPORT

Large alligator blocks door to Central Florida elementary school

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 09:45 AM
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COMING SOON TO THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK

Mind-Altering Parasite May Make Infected People More Attractive, Study Suggests

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 09:44 AM
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NO PRESSURE

Man with nine wives 'anxious' as all partners want to be first to bear his kids

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on May 18, 2022 at 09:40 AM
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May 17, 2022

ATTENTION, SOUTH FLORIDA SPORTS FANS WISHING TO JUMP ON THE HEAT OR PANTHERS PLAYOFF BANDWAGONS:

Here you go.

Posted by Dave on May 17, 2022 at 05:04 PM
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YOU KNOW WHO'S GIVING THE ORDERS

Hawaii is waging war on 'aggressive' feral chickens. The chickens are winning.

(Thanks to Barry Nester, Le Petomane and Rich Alpin)

Posted by Dave on May 17, 2022 at 09:19 AM
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NEW JERSEY POLICE CHIEF OF THE WEEK SO FAR

“You’re sleeping in the middle of the road… your pants are down.”

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on May 17, 2022 at 09:14 AM
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THEY'RE ALSO A STRONG OPENING ACT

'Voracious' Jumping Worms Can Leap 1 Foot In The Air, Destroy Soil

(Thanks to Rich Klinzman)

Posted by Dave on May 17, 2022 at 09:12 AM
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NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Man Invents The ‘Burrito Bumper’ That Collects All The Dropped Food And Places It Into A New Burrito

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 17, 2022 at 09:09 AM
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AT LEAST IT WAS DEAD

Horrified dad finds dead frog hanging out of McDonald's burger

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 17, 2022 at 09:07 AM
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May 16, 2022

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE BACON

35,000 pounds of eggs spill on Dallas freeway

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

Posted by Dave on May 16, 2022 at 12:45 PM
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DRAMA CLUB NEWS

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Drama Club News.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on May 16, 2022 at 12:20 PM
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FOR AN EXTRA $250 THE SALESPERSON WILL SPIT ON YOU

Luxury Brand Sells $1,850 “Fully-Destroyed” Sneakers

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on May 16, 2022 at 09:49 AM
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WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT STUDIES?

Women really do fancy men more if they’re richer, study confirms

(Thanks to Frank)

Posted by Dave on May 16, 2022 at 09:47 AM
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SACRILEGE

The water tower in Kingsland, the birthplace of Johnny Cash, bears a painted silhouette of the famous Man in Black — but an unknown person recently took careful aim at Cash’s crotch and pulled the trigger. Now the mural is perpetually leaking from that spot, video shared May 11 by the Cleveland County Herald shows.

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Doug Ogg)

Posted by Dave on May 16, 2022 at 09:46 AM
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