Dave Barry's Blog

WITHOUT STUDIES WE WOULD KNOW NOTHING

Wearing sunglasses makes you more likely to OGLE: People stare at sexually provocative images when they think others can't see their eyes, study finds

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Women more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors with more attractive partners

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

PARTY INSECTS

Fruit flies keep having sex when they are dying

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE WEST: STILL WILD

Loving County judge arrested for cattle theft

Excellent Name For Suspected Cattle-Thief Judge: "Skeet Jones"

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT POLE, OFFICER?

Florida man drives car up pole, arrested for DUI

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SPLISH SPLASH, DUDE

Detroit customs officers seize over 2,000 pounds of marijuana labeled as ‘pool toys’

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says "Pass the flotation aid, bro.")

DON'T THANK ME; I'M JUST DOING MY JOB

Here I am preparing to do battle with one of New York City's notorious giant cement squirrels.

UPDATE

Wichita Woman Accused of Pooping on Beauty Store Wigs Is Allegedly a Serial Fecal Offender

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Warzone players find XP glitch in King Kong's testicles

Doc shocked to find money up patient’s butt

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE FLATHEAD COUNTY DATING SCENE

5:08 p.m. A woman who tackled a man off of a scooter later told law enforcement they were not in a romantic relationship, but everything was okay.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE ABROAD

The Russian military fired a rocket at Odesa and destroyed the beach toilet.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NEEDLESS TO SAY THE HORSE PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Ohio deputy encounters 'drunk Amish guy' slumped over in moving buggy: 'The horse knows how to get home'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'LEARN TO MONETIZE'

National bank hit by ransomware trolls hackers with dick pics

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

TRY UNPLUGGING IT, THEN PLUGGING IT BACK IN

NASA engineers trying to figure out strange readings from aging interstellar spacecraft

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

WHAT'S IN THE U-HAUL, DUDE?

Man busted with nearly 1 ton of marijuana near Florida border, officials say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUYS IN COVID-RELIEF ACTION

Rather than return the $360,000 in Covid-19 aid that his small town mistakenly wired to his personal bank account, Sho Taguchi gambled most of the money away online, police said.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, EricY and The Perts)

WHY WE AVOID CAVE EVENTS

Man hauled to safety after hanging from tree at cave event in place known locally as Devil’s Arse

(Thanks to Adrian Hope)

WAIT, WHAT?

Coke's new bottle cap doesn't come off

OK, it turns out that's not actually what the story says.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

WILL WE EVER LEARN?

Apparently not.

(Thanks to Fearless Phil)

IN LIEU OF A DRIVER'S LICENSE

Slippery Florida woman throws fake snake to avoid arrest, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross and Jeff Meyerson)

MAINLY BIG MACS

Ancient poop reveals what the builders of Stonehenge liked to eat

(Thanks to GJ and Alkali Bill)