Dave Barry's Blog

AND IN SPORTS

Huge 80ft penis on baseball field is visible from space

(Thanks to Actual Name)

SOON TO BE A VERY LONG MOTION PICTURE

The chase reached speeds of 3 mph (4.8 kph) early Sunday morning in North Charleston, police said.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

PRACTICAL!

Break New Ground With These Absurd Rock Shoes

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Hard pass.")

CSI: OXFORDSHIRE

Two men have been jailed for stealing a £4.8m gold toilet from from an art exhibition at Blenheim Palace.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who says "Police have what to go on.")

UH-OH

Officials raise red flag after spotting concerning behavior shift in squirrels

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FLORIDA USES IT AS AN INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO

BRITAIN BANS TWIX COMMERCIAL THAT ‘ENCOURAGES UNSAFE DRIVING’

(Thanks to John Lobert)

MY HAIRSTYLE

A Bad Case of the Bangs

CANADA CONTINUES ITS DOWNWARD SPIRAL INTO TOTAL ANARCHY

Escaped water buffalo herd wanders through British Columbia city

(Thanks to Roberto, who says this was in his neighborhood)

WE CAN TAKE THAT LONG ON A SINGLE HOLE

New York man plays golf for 36 consecutive hours

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Uranus is weird.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND THEY WEREN'T HIS

Black bear wandering Punta Gorda caught with doughnuts

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "Police released him after confiscating the doughnuts.")

FIENDISH

Indian man in Japan arrested on charges of using curry spices as weapon in robbery attempt

(Thanks to Ralph)

MINNESOTA: STATE OF EXCITEMENT

20-foot-tall pencil gets its annual sharpening

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHO MAKES IT

Beer Aficionados Named the 'Worst' Beer in the World

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS

These Snake Trackers Have Removed More than 20 Tons of Invasive Pythons from Florida… and They’re Just Getting Started

(Thanks to EricY)

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE

Woman Goes Viral for Epic Airport Meltdown After Being Told Her Luggage Is Too Heavy'

(Thanks to MOTW, who says "Wait till she hears that they’re out of peanuts.")

EVERYBODY OUT OF THE WATER

Biggest ever great white shark is heading toward US tourist hotspot

(Thanks to EricY)

BRIAN WILSON

Goodbye to a genius. For a lot of us, he wrote, and sang, the soundtrack of our youth. Here's a great version of my favorite one of his songs. Brian is singing backup to Lorrie Morgan in this version, but somehow the vibe seems right for this moment.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE 911

Strip club personnel told police that Alnofaie “obtained a private room and requested sex from a staff member.” When that request was rebuffed, “the defendant called 911 for assistance.”

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Ana de Armas Takes a Bath Every Day

(Thanks to Annette)