Dave Barry's Blog

DON'T MESS WITH BROOKLYN

Rocket launcher found in a B’klyn home basement

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

'HE STILL HAS LOVE FOR HER'

Hamilton man shot in testicle by ex-girlfriend

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

PIZZA

First tyrannosaur fossil discovered with its last meal perfectly preserved in its stomach

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

IT DOESN'T GET ANY MORE FLORIDA

Man Arrested for Theft After Refusing to Pay for Waffle House Logo Tattoo

(Thanks tio Buck Nekkid)

THERE IS NOTHING MORE UNNATURAL THAN NATURE

Worm’s rear end develops its own head, wanders off to mate

(Thanks to Doug Shedd)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Alabama Robber Shouted, ‘Happy Holidays, I Don’t Want to Hurt Y’all,’ Then Blasted Bear Spray — so Store Owner Shot Her

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

AND IN SPORTS

Large pregnant sea lion hides from horny males on golf course

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHATEVER THE BOTTOM NEWS STORY OF TODAY IS

...this is somewhere below it.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

EVERYONE OUT OF THE LOCHS

Shark warning mistakenly sent to Scotland after mix-up with New Zealand town

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "New Zealand, on the other hand, received a Nessie warning.")

OTHER THAN THAT IT WORKED TO PERFECTION

A toaster placed under a car to warm up the battery is thought to have started a fire which destroyed the vehicle and damaged a house.

(Thanks to Laura)

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Florida bear attacks, takes off with reindeer Christmas decoration

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Half a Million Worth of ‘Floating Gold’ Found in Dead Whale

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

'DESIGNER'

This designer purse that looks like a brown paper bag costs $2,500

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer)

WHICH IS MARGINALLY BETTER THAN DEAD ONES

Bloke's bulge causes stir as airport staff catch him with live otters stuffed in his pants

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN MOTOR SPORTS

The Forklift Driving World Championship Is a Surprisingly Exciting Event

(Thanks to Ralph)

AS IS HER CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

Woman Enters MRI Machine With a Gun, Gets Shot in Butt

(Thanks to Frank and Not My Usual Alias, who says: "I have had enough radiation in the past year that at one point I could warm my coffee by holding it in both hands for 90 seconds. A person concealing a firearm for an MRI seems to be a waste of perfectly good radiation.")

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Buck Nekkid)

STAND TALL, AUSTRALIA, IF YOU CAN STILL STAND

Australian men visit 99 pubs in 24 hours to break world record

(Thanks to EricY)

NIVEAU D'ALERTE : ÉLEVE

Krispy Kreme has invaded France.

(Thanks to Howard from Broward)

CHANUKAH

Have a happy one!