Dave Barry's Blog

NEVER LEND YOUR CAR TO A SQUIRREL

A squirrel caused $1,000 in car damage.

(Thanks to Gregory Snow)

WE'RE GONNA NEED A MOUNTAIN-LION SUIT

Mountain lion caught on camera peeking through pet door in California

(Thanks to MOTW)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Japanese restaurant chain apologises after rat found floating in miso soup

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

North Carolina man dons bear costume to scare off persistent real-life black bear

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DO *NOT* FALL OUT OF THE BOAT

Brisbane 2032 Olympic rowing may be held in saltwater crocodile habitat

(Thanks to Ralph)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Tatted up Florida man found with meth hidden in his underwear tells cops ‘there’s nothing wrong with drugs’

(Thanks to Mezrap and pharmaross)

'IT'S A WHOLE NEW KETTLE OF FISH BECAUSE IT'S ON YOUR FACE'

The sudden, surprising rise of beard transplants: ‘This industry is a wild west’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

'Shining anus' volcano in Tonga coughs up cloud of smoke during recent eruption

(Thanks to Gary Schroeder and Ralph)

URGENT ADVISORY FOR MEN:

Do NOT click here.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

New scientific study shows you’re smarter after you just pooped

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Update: OK, it turns out we blogged an item about this several days ago. We're conducting an investigation to determine how this happened, although we all know there are only two possible explanations:

1. judi.
2. Global Climate Change.

AND IN SPORTS

Man Pulls Down Pants, Moons Camera

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

EVERYBODY GET INDOORS

Space Tornadoes Are Swirling Around the Milky Way's Core

(Thanks to The Perts)

WHY THE DONKEY HAD MINTS, WE'LL NEVER KNOW

Police wrangle loose donkey with mints

(Thanks to John Lobert, who is not saying that "Loose Donkey With Mints" WBAGNFARB.)

PRIORITIES

A Palm Beach woman struck a bicyclist, then continued on to a country club where she turned over her Mercedes to a valet and took a golf lesson.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE

Man Requires Medical Attention After Getting Girlfriend’s Hand Stuck in His Mouth

(Thanks to MOTW and Ralph)

 

'A GIANT U-TURN'

United flight forced to divert after pilot realises they forgot their passport

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

CSI: HORRY COUNTY

Goat opens gate, lets kangaroo loose in South Carolina

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "And we know who put both of them up to it.")

WE ARE APPROACHING PEAK FLORIDA LIFESTYLE

Waffle House opens golf cart accessible location near The Villages

(Thanks to Rick Day)

FINALLY

A mysterious black hump filmed “rising and falling” is believed by an enthusiast to be the Loch Ness Monster, finally caught on camera.

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert, who says "clear and convincing evidence.")

FOR SOME OF US...

...this is every day.

(Thanks to pharmaross)