Dave Barry's Blog

ASTEROID-MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

Huge asteroid the size of London's Big Ben will get closer to Earth than the MOON on Saturday

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

SO YOU'RE SAYING IT HAS FEET?

Lab-grown chicken is one step closer to being sold in the US

(Thanks to Ronald Troyer, who says "No.") 

KIND OF LIKE WHEN EXPLORERS DISCOVERED THE TOMB OF TUTANKHAMUN, EXCEPT... IT'S A CONVERSATION PIT

Homeowners discover pink 1970s ‘conversation pit’ hidden under their floors, and TikTok is obsessed

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

TikTok is easily obsessed. 

CANADA SINKS EVER DEEPER INTO CHAOS

Show us your Regina': Canadian town is slammed over 'gross' new $30k tourism campaign mocking fact city's name rhymes with vagina

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS

An Ozarks church leader claims prayer regrew a woman's toes.

For you skeptics: A website urging anyone with proof to share it has popped up at ShowMeTheToes.com.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

YOU KNOW WHO’S RUNNING THE SHOW

Feral Pigs Are Casually Destroying the Country. No One Can Stop Them.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

I have a 55-inch butt — I use it to smuggle booze into bars

(Thanks to Michael Parry and Doug Ogg)

WE KNOW WHERE THIS DRIVER WAS HEADED

Suspected impaired driver crashes into impaired driver sign

(Thanks to Jane Linderman and Gregory Snow)

THIS IS WHAT YOUR DOG IS BARKING AT

Alien mothership lurking in our solar system could be watching us with tiny probes, Pentagon official suggests

(Thanks to many people)

BUT THEY HAVE TROUBLE ARTICULATING THEM

Even worms make complex decisions

(Thanks to EricY, who says “FedEx them overnight to Washington.”)

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

Video shows couch fly through the San Francisco sky

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and vee, who says “Auntie Em! Auntie Em!”)

WE’RE GONNA NEED MORE CHEESE

Overturned truck spills 10,000 wine bottles onto California highway

(Thanks to Rick Day)

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE BILL OF RIGHTS

California bill would ban the sale of Skittles

(Thanks to vee)

SEND THIS SMELL TO WASHINGTON

Disgusting sewer smell drives Senate to abandon debates

(Thanks to Ralph)

You probably can't read the article. But you don't need to read the article. 

NEVER, EVER, RELAX IN A HOT TUB

Mountain lion attacks man from behind while he and his wife relaxed in hot tub

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

WE CAN NOW RETIRE THE NOBEL PRIZE

This is an experiment determining once and for all if corgi butts float. The answer? Yes, corgi butts float.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

NIGHTY-NIGHT!

Horror as monster snake discovered in bed

(Thanks to Ubetcha and John Lobert, who says “I was gobsmacked when I saw that this happened in Australia.”)

THIS IS ASSUMING THEY CAN SOLVE THE GIANT SELF-CLONING GOLDFISH PROBLEM

Edmonton is where you want to be when the zombie apocalypse comes, study finds

(Thanks to B&C)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Men tunnel out of Virginia jail cell, then are found at IHOP

The first place you look is Waffle House.

(Thanks to Dennis Walter and Robert Moats)

GUESS WHERE THE BRIGALOW BELT IS*

'Rare and giant' trapdoor spider species, Euoplos dignitas, discovered in Brigalow Belt

(Thanks to Christopher Shelley, The Fourth George and Robert Moats)

*Right below the Brigalow Suspenders.