Dave Barry's Blog

JUST KEEP DRIVING

If you see a squirrel laying flat on the ground, don’t panic. It’s probably just ‘splooting,’ officials say

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says “If there are treadmarks on its back, it is 'splatting'.”)

PIGS MAKE RULES?

Bacon may disappear in California as pig rules take effect

(Thanks to Ranald Adams and Le Petomane)

SOUNDS… EXCITING!

Scientists develop male contraceptive that uses magnets, nanoparticle injections

(Thanks to ImNotDave and Michael Parry, who says “Apparently, the only side effect is that you get stuck to the refrigerator.”)

FIXER-UPPER

Mexico is raffling off one of El Chapo’s safe houses for $12.50

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THEY’RE EVERYWHERE

Here’s a YouTube video posted by this blog’s old pal Jeffrey Berkowitz, who swears this actually happened.

WE BLAME CLIMATE CHANGE

A dark gray-brown Bean goose flying upside down was snapped by an amateur photographer near the Dutch town of Arnhem.

(Thanks to ImNotDave)

CSI: COLUMBIA, S.C.

SCHP later told News19 that a truck carrying chicken had a relatively small spill on the road which someone apparently mistook for a deceased person.

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen)

THIS JUST IN

Senedd could consider Welsh dragon penis petition

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

AS RECOMMENDED IN THE OWNER’S MANUAL

A 31-year-old woman is recovering after she accidentally set herself and her car on fire this week while trying to kill bed bugs.

(Thanks to Geoff Scott and pharmaross)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Nasa to launch slime into space as part of ‘blob’ experiment

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

SO WHAT’S YOUR MAJOR?

Students Are Getting Paid to Poop at a South Korean University

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

SEND IT TO WASHINGTON

Perfectly preserved 310-million-year-old fossilized brain found

(Thanks to EricY)

ALERT LEVEL: HIGHEST

French Courts Side with Rabbits Over Army

(Thanks to Ralph)

THEREBY FREEING HUMANITY FROM THIS ONEROUS BUT VITAL TASK

Robot arranges 100,000 dominoes into a Super Mario Bros. mural in one day

(Thanks to Dave N.)

WELL IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Scientists from the Faculty of Physics of the University of Warsaw have demonstrated exciton-polariton lasing and parametric scattering of exciton-polaritons in a system of coupled optical microcavities.

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan, who says “Does that mean that I can finally get my flying jetpack?”)

BUT BEES BUZZING ON BEER ARE HAPPIER

Bees buzzing on caffeine are better at their jobs, a study finds

(Thanks to Nancy Gill and Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

Big Sticks keep the Knockers at bay

(Thanks to Greg Snow)

WE'RE GUESSING IT'S THE HEADLIGHTS OF A CAR WITH A FLORIDA PLATE

IN A BIZARRE TWIST, ASTRONOMERS DETECT LIGHT COMING FROM BEHIND BLACK HOLE

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

CSI: NEATH

Live camera set up to record crime and anti-social behaviour in Neath is stolen

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE WELCOME THEM WITH OPEN, UM, ARMS

Freaky ‘Penis Snakes’ Have Finally Made It to the U.S., and of Course They Chose Florida

(Thanks to pharmaross)