Dave Barry's Blog

SOUTH FLORIDA WILDLIFE: WILDER THAN YOUR WILDLIFE

This was hanging on our front door this morning:

SHE WANTED IT TO HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO DRIVE LEGALLY

Pennsylvania Woman Tried To Kidnap Kangaroo From Petting Zoo, Take It To Florida, Police Say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NOT WEIRD AT ALL!

A funeral for dead robot dogs

(Thanks to funny man)

'BEYOND THE SCOPE OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES'

Flight attendant says overweight passenger forced her to wipe his butt

(Thanks to funny man)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAA

A Florida police department says an officer ran over two people who were lying in a dark roadway to watch Sunday night's lunar eclipse.

(Thanks to pharmaross and funny man)

FIGHTING CRIME IN WASHINGTON STATE

The state Department of Transportation has replaced some mile-marker signs with the numbers 68.9 or 419.9, or removed mileposts 69 and 420 altogether, to combat thefts.

(Thanks to Lynn Burlingame)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

'Nun with duffel bag' drops 'severed goat head' on pavement outside Cheltenham pub

(Thanks to Roger in Cheltenham, England)

BUT YOU KNOW WHO GAVE THE ORDER

Video shows moose chasing skiers Saturday at Breckenridge Ski Resort

(Thanks to coscolo)

UPDATE ON THE PHO KEENE GREAT

N.H. Vietnamese restaurant allowed to hang sign with profane-sounding pun

(Thanks to Geoff)

THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THEY USED TO

Stone circle thought to be thousands of years old was built in the 1990s

(Thanks to John Lobert)

'SUPER POOPERS'

Study finds stool transplants from some donors are far more effective than others

(Thanks to Michael Moyer)

'NOT SURPRISINGLY, ALCOHOL MAY HAVE BEEN INVOLVED'

Passenger Who Jumped 11 Stories Off Cruise Ship Hopes He Doesn’t Inspire Others

(Thanks to Doug in Sacramento)

FIRST BREXIT, AND NOW THIS

Eels in the Thames left hyperactive after Londoners on cocaine urinate into waste water

(Thanks to Roberto)

Now, more than ever, Britain needs Prime Minister Batman.

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE NEWS FROM STROUD

Massive beef-flavoured Hula Hoop found in Stroud

This has been The News From Stroud.

(Thanks to Ralph)

BEHIND THE ALLEGED MUSIC

In preparation for the Rock Bottom Remainders' forthcoming "gig" (musician lingo) in Minneapolis, some band members gathered in Stephen King's garage (really) to practice "chords," which are these things that sometimes unexpectedly pop up in songs. From left are Ridley Pearson, Greg Iles, Steve and yours truly. And yes, Stephen King really does have boxes coming out of his head. That's where he gets his ideas. 

ONCE AGAIN CANADA DELIBERATELY RATCHETS UP INTERNATIONAL TENSIONS

Canada wants to reclaim moose statue record from Norway

(Thanks to Ralph)

BEER MAKING NEWS

Vermont cops confiscate beer from minors, then drink it

(Thanks to EricY)

DOCTORS SAVED MAN'S LIFE BY PUMPING 15 CANS OF BEER INTO HIS BODY

(Thanks to John Gregg)

THEY ALSO BURNED ECSTASY AND METH

Police Accidentally Get Everyone High After Burning 3 Tons of Marijuana

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

WE HAVE MISSILES. LET'S USE THEM.

Glowing space billboards could show ads in the night sky

(Thanks to Fabian Marson and Michael Parry)

WE HOPE IT WASN'T EXTRA CRISPY

A Jacksonville KFC worker committed restaurant health violations, then was arrested after hitting a customer with chicken, police say.

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)