Dave Barry's Blog

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

SCIENTISTS CONTROL CYBORG VENUS FLY TRAPS WITH SMARTPHONE

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

Man destroys toilet in bathroom brouhaha

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHO SAYS GUYS ARE HARD TO BUY GIFTS FOR?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

THE DOG MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT

Brockville man charged following altercation with woman after her dog urinates on his shoe

(Thanks to unkle johno)

AS IS HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

Man steals tow truck as revenge for company previously towing his car

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE SAW FML OPEN FOR THE DOORS

Target pulling products allegedly made with forced monkey labor

(Thanks to Alan West, who says "as opposed to voluntary monkey labor.")

WAIT... WHAT?

Florida CFO Jimmy Patronis sent a letter to the International Olympic Committee on Monday encouraging them to consider relocating the 2021 Summer Olympics from Tokyo to the Sunshine State.

(Thanks to Rodney Beterelsen, who asks "What could possibly go wrong?")

AIRSICKNESS BAGS ARE ALSO AVAILABLE

Japanese airlines have found success in the sale of in-flight meals for those who cannot fly abroad but want to savor them amid the new coronavirus pandemic.

(Thanks to Godot51)

REASON ENOUGH

PORTLAND, MAINE (AP) — Portland police arrested two people they say attacked a man because his car had Vermont license plates.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S STILL HIS FAULT

A woman stabbed her husband several times after thinking she found photos of him with a younger woman. It turns out that she herself was that “other” woman. The photo of the couple was taken years ago, when they were dating, police in Sonora, Mexico said.

(Thanks to John Gregg, Jim Kenaston, pharmaross and Allen at Division)

WHAT’S THAT SMELL?

Man who farted in Uber ends up in court

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

NOW YOU'RE TALKING

Russian cross-country skier DQed after whipping opponent with ski pole, tackling

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE ENGLISH MUFFINS

18-wheeler carrying load of honeybees flips, causes road closure near downtown

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ONLY BECAUSE IRELAND WAS TOO HUNG OVER TO PARTICIPATE

England and Scotland top global league table for getting drunk most often

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHERE

...she found her car plastered with signs, but they weren’t parking tickets. Instead, a stranger was trying to warn her that there was a 2 metre long snake curled up in her engine.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

BACK THEN THEY WERE MADE OF BAMBOO

120-year-old condom found in Japan

(Thanks to Ralph and Alberto)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

A 20-year-old man accused of stealing property from hotel guests took pairs of women’s underwear and left a note with his phone number, police documents said.

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

SPORTS NEWS FROM DOWN UNDER

‘Abnormally Large Testicles’ Lead To Sale Of Australian Racehorse

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS JUST IN

Giant snow penis appears in Swedish town

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE POLICE

Woman calls police after arriving too late for McDonald’s drive-thru breakfast

(Thanks to AmoebaStampede)