Dave Barry's Blog

HOUSTON HOUSECAT

"There is a freaking Bengal tiger roaming in this yard"

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YOU KNOW THOSE COOL-LOOKING BRIDGES THAT ARE MADE OF GLASS SO YOU CAN LOOK STRAIGHT DOWN, AND YOU FIGURE THEY ARE ENGINEERED TO BE PERFECTLY SAFE?

Yeah, no.

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

SOUNDS LEGIT

BJP MLA Surendra Singh has claimed that consuming gaumutra (cow urine) every morning on an empty stomach will “guarantee” protection from the novel coronavirus.

I’ve been abducted by aliens 50 times – people think I’m crazy but I’ve the bruises to prove it happened

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WELCOME TO FLORIDAAAA, NEIGHBOR

A neighborly feud leads to toilets lining a Cape Coral yard

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BAD THINGS CAN HAPPEN THERE

Derry man refused bail in court after incident in Muff

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE ALREADY HAVE THIS: IT’S CALLED A BASEMENT WITH A ROOMBA

Humans to live in connected underground homes with robot servants in 20 years - experts

(Thanks to Ron T)

CRIME NEWS FROM ABROAD

Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Crime News from Abroad.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SO SHE KNEW THEM

A Georgia woman was shocked to find at least 100,000 bees in her home -- for the second time

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "she must be able to count very fast.")

WORRIED ABOUT THE EARTH BEING DESTROYED BY AN ASTEROID?

There's an app for that.

(Thanks to EricY)

THE HORROR

Archie Reportedly Had a "Distinct American Accent" on His Birthday Zoom Call with the Queen

(Thanks to The Perts)

MOTHER'S DAY

Have a good one, blog moms. We love you.

AUSTRALIAAAAAA

Huntsman Spider And Babies Takes Over Car In Stomach-Churning Video

(Thanks to Ralph)

PARTY!

Beer truck crashes into Avon Lake house

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "This Bud's for you!")

TURNS OUT IT WAS A CANDYGRAM*

Hunt for ‘shark’ running around Uni of Wollongong campus ends as satellite tracker found

(Thanks to pharmaross)

*If you don't get the reference, ask a Boomer. Or click here.

ADVISORY TO RESIDENTS OF THE EARTH:

Remain indoors.

(Thanks to EricY)

OF COURSE

Rising wood prices may make toilet paper more expensive

(Thanks to The Perts)

DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A FAIR CONTEST

45,000 people apply to kill 12 bison in Grand Canyon

(Thanks to unkle johno)

CATCHY

Baby named as Ghlynnyl Hylhyr Yzzyghyl, nicknamed Consonant

(Thanks to Ralph)

GUESS WHERE THIS FAMILY LIVES

"He brought down over 30 snake skins out of the family's roof space, and there was probably another 20 skins up there."

(Thanks to Ralph)

INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN AUSTRALIA

Snake Slithering on Door Handle Leaves Two Men Trapped Indoors

(Thanks to pharmaross)