Dave Barry's Blog

'ANTS CAN STAY'

AI Attempts To Design Candy Love Hearts

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AW

New brochure showcases Oregon's 'adorable' native lamprey species

(Thanks to B'game)

‘HELLO, FRONT DESK? OUR BED IS FLOATING.’

First ever space hotel slated to be operational by 2027

(Thanks to EricY)

SHE HAD HER REASONS

Alabama woman face felony charge after stealing neighbor’s goat and painting it

(Thanks to Ralph)

CSI: TULSA

Burglar busted thanks to Cheeto dust on her teeth: cops

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

WE ASSUME THIS WAS A 'SERVICE' CAT

A passenger plane was forced to return to an airport in the Sudanese capital of Khartoum after an angry and aggressive cat, which had somehow got into the cockpit, attacked the pilots shortly after takeoff.

(Thanks to Peter Metrink)

THIS COULD SAVE THE NEWSPAPER INDUSTRY

Nebraska may be home to the country's only newspaper/liquor store

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

WHAT THE AMERICAN WORKER NEEDS TODAY MORE THAN EVER

A drink-at-home secret base tent.

(Thanks to Ralph)

GOOD BOY

CCTV captures 'guard dog' hilariously failing test by napping during fake armed raid

Storeowner Name We Are Not Amused By: Worawut Lomwanawong

(Thanks to John Lobert)

‘ISLANDS IN THE STREAM’ WAS ALSO INVOLVED

‘Terrible’ singer fined after sparking 150 complaints with Abba karaoke

(Thanks to Roberto)

WELL, HE’S AVAILABLE

Islanders who call Prince Philip a ‘god’ plan to worship Charles next

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT HEAR YOUR TOMATOES CRYING FOR HELP

Scientists found that a caterpillar called the tomato fruit worm not only chomps on tomatoes and their leaves, but also deposits enzyme-laden saliva on the plant, interfering with its ability to cry for help.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE OLDER HUMANS COULD USE SOMETHING LIKE THIS

"After conducting research and speaking with veterinary staff, the aquarist team decided to attach a block of material to the top of the crab’s shell to increase buoyancy and allow her to stand with less effort," the Aquarium said.

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Seal found in P.E.I. neighbourhood gets ride in police cruiser

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

The Medical Board of California said it would investigate a plastic surgeon who appeared in a videoconference for his traffic violation trial while operating.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, pharmaross and Bill Hudgins)

IN AN AFFECTIONATE MANNER, WE ARE CERTAIN

The man said Morgan grabbed his testicles and squeezed them while he was standing in the living room.

(Thanks to Mikey)

THE END IS NIGH, PEOPLE. VERY NIGH.

Turns Out, Hats On Snakes Are A Thing And There’s A Community Celebrating It

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FLORIDA EDUCATION UPDATE

12-year-old girl accused of selling stun-guns at Tampa middle school

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE'RE GONNA MAKE HIM AN OFFER HE CAN'T REFUSE

Horse Statue Beheaded Outside Suffolk County Antique Store

(Thanks to pharmaross)

STOP THE PRESSES

Chicago tops list of most corrupt city in US, report says

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)