Dave Barry's Blog

WHOA

A Zimbabwean father who has 16 wives and 151 children has revealed he follows a strict four-times-a-night sex schedule to help keep his family growing.

(Thanks to Roberto)

MOTHER'S DAY IN LONE ROCK, WIS.

During a disturbance yesterday afternoon, a 43-year-old woman was tased in the neck by her son, who was upset “because he could not find his phone,” according to police.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FLORIDA'S DEFINITION OF 'DESIGNATED DRIVER'

It's a little different.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YOU KNOW THIS WASN’T IN AUSTRALIA, BECAUSE AN AUSTRALIAN BIKER WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN SURPRISED

Biker Screams After Noticing Snake Entangled In Motorbike Handle

(Thanks to Ralph)

HOW ABOUT WHAT?

Want to try something different in the New Year? How about fartlek training?

(Thanks to vee)

BRING YOUR OWN GARLIC

‘Dracula’s castle’ offers tourists Covid shots

(Thanks to The Perts and Anil Haji, who says “Are you sure the vaccine is injected into my neck?" "Yesssss.")

IT’S AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT YACHT

Jeff Bezos' superyacht is so big it needs its own yacht

(Thanks to Steve K)

HOUSTON HOUSECAT

"There is a freaking Bengal tiger roaming in this yard"

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YOU KNOW THOSE COOL-LOOKING BRIDGES THAT ARE MADE OF GLASS SO YOU CAN LOOK STRAIGHT DOWN, AND YOU FIGURE THEY ARE ENGINEERED TO BE PERFECTLY SAFE?

Yeah, no.

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

SOUNDS LEGIT

BJP MLA Surendra Singh has claimed that consuming gaumutra (cow urine) every morning on an empty stomach will “guarantee” protection from the novel coronavirus.

I’ve been abducted by aliens 50 times – people think I’m crazy but I’ve the bruises to prove it happened

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WELCOME TO FLORIDAAAA, NEIGHBOR

A neighborly feud leads to toilets lining a Cape Coral yard

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BAD THINGS CAN HAPPEN THERE

Derry man refused bail in court after incident in Muff

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE ALREADY HAVE THIS: IT’S CALLED A BASEMENT WITH A ROOMBA

Humans to live in connected underground homes with robot servants in 20 years - experts

(Thanks to Ron T)

CRIME NEWS FROM ABROAD

Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Crime News from Abroad.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SO SHE KNEW THEM

A Georgia woman was shocked to find at least 100,000 bees in her home -- for the second time

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "she must be able to count very fast.")

WORRIED ABOUT THE EARTH BEING DESTROYED BY AN ASTEROID?

There's an app for that.

(Thanks to EricY)

THE HORROR

Archie Reportedly Had a "Distinct American Accent" on His Birthday Zoom Call with the Queen

(Thanks to The Perts)

MOTHER'S DAY

Have a good one, blog moms. We love you.

AUSTRALIAAAAAA

Huntsman Spider And Babies Takes Over Car In Stomach-Churning Video

(Thanks to Ralph)

PARTY!

Beer truck crashes into Avon Lake house

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "This Bud's for you!")