Dave Barry's Blog

THURSDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Dave - I think "What's the strangest thing you've ever witnessed, in person?" is an interesting thread topic, n'est pas?

By the way, AutoCorrect wanted to change "n'est pas" to "messy pad". Not sure what that's implying. I'm no Felix Unger, but...

Take care, Dave,

-Kent, aka, "Stixnstonz"

We can think of many candidates, but certainly a strong one was watching the mayor of Grand Forks, N.D., dedicate a sewage lifting station (Number 16) in our honor.

A LEGIT CAUSE FOR CONCERN

Nude man arrested, told police ‘he was afraid worms were coming from his genitals’

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THEY LOOK AS INVITING AS THEY SOUND

French restaurant tests clear plastic domes that hang over each individual diner

(Thanks to Maryann)

EVERY CAR IN FLORIDA ALREADY DOES THIS

Ford unveils technology that ROASTS the inside of police vehicles at 133 degrees Fahrenheit in an effort to kill coronavirus concentrations

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER GIVE MATCHES TO A ZOMBIE

Scientists warn of 'zombie fires' in the Arctic

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, PLEASE ENJOY YOUR MEAL

Man says he broke into San Diego Wells Fargo bank to heat up his Hot Pockets

(Thanks to Ralph)

WEDNESDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

The theme tonight is: state capitals.

What, you have a better theme?

SO TRUE

Unexplained Phenomena Keep Suggesting the Universe Isn’t What We Thought

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR CAT STEVENS

Herd Of Fuzzy Green 'Glacier Mice' Baffles Scientists

(Thanks to wiredog)

ALWAYS READY TO LEND A HAND, THOSE LOCALS

Massive beer truck crash attracts locals to help with ‘cleanup’ efforts

(Thanks to Ralph)

GOOD, BECAUSE THE ONES WE HAVE NOW AREN'T GETTING THE JOB DONE

GE Research team developing giant robotic earthworm

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

SO FAR IT REFUSES TO TALK

India detains pigeon on suspicion of spying for Pakistan

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Ralph)

WE AWAIT GUIDANCE FROM DRs. FAUCI AND BIRX

Sex workers offer to limit customers to two positions which 'minimise the risk of transmitting coronavirus' to enable brothels to end lockdown in Switzerland

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, Barry Nester, Mark Schlesinger and Allen at Division)

SOMETIMES WE CAN'T TELL WHETHER A PRESS RELEASE IS REAL OR A PARODY

‘STORMY DANIELS: SPACE FORCE’ NEW COMIC BOOK SERIES AND ANIMATED SHOW IN DEVELOPMENT

TidalWave Productions has also struck a deal to pen a fictional series starring Stormy Daniels.

This fall, TidalWave will develop a fiction comic book series with Daniels called “Stormy Daniels: Space Force.” Captain Stormy Daniels commands the Helix, a starship serving the United Republic of Earth and its leader, “very stable genius” OrDon. Daniels and her crew – capitalists at heart – are for hire. It is Barbarella-meets-Star Trek-meets-Stripperalla in a racy comedy, action and adventure series starring Daniels.

Created by Stormy Daniels and Darren G. Davis featuring art by Pablo Martinena. The comic book series is written by Michael Frizell and ‘Amazing Race’ alumni, Andrew Shayde. Special covers by famed comic artist Bill Walko and Agung Prabowo.

“I have joined forces with to create this comic and TidalWave has been so generous with allowing my input”, said Daniels “ I could not be happier with the outcome. Bonus is I get to add badass comic book character to my resume.”

“We are excited to be teaming up for this far out adventure with Stormy”, said TidalWave publisher Darren G. Davis. “We have not just created a fun comic book but a brand that will include action figures and an animated series”.

TUESDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD

Our theme tonight is the Smoot-Hawley Tariff. We know you have strong feelings. Don't hold them in.

GUYS IN ACTION

Drunken man passed out on raft drifts 7 miles down Indiana river before being rescued near dam

(Thanks to Geoff Scott)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Not this blog.

(Thanks to John Lobert and DaninDallas)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Turtle smashes through Savannah driver’s windshield on Truman Parkway

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

WELL IN *THAT* CASE....

Hospital angrily denies snake discovered in operating theatre, insisting there was only a monkey

(Thanks to Ralph)

APPARENTLY THEY WERE UNAWARE THAT IT NEEDS TO BE RADIOACTIVE

Three young Bolivian brothers were hospitalized after getting a black widow spider to bite them — thinking it would turn them into Spider-Man, according to officials.

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Ralph)