Dave Barry's Blog

OLYMPIC MEMORY

Eight years ago yesterday, this blog and this blog's daughter, Sophie, were part of a team representing San Marino (which is an actual country) (we think) in the International Rock Paper Scissors championships, which were held in a London pub during the 2012 Olympics (a major sporting event). Here's our column on this event, and here's a blog post by Richard Gottfried, who, with his wife, Emily, made up the rest of the San Marino squad. We finished fourth. It was definitely one of the highlights of our life. Or at least of that evening. 

ANOTHER DAY...

Couple finds 6-foot-long snake in their toilet

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ALSO WHEN THE KIDS ARE AWAKE

Glowing worms have less sex when the lights are on

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS

Higher Flows on Butt Creek

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HOMEOWNER HEADACHE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

"Honey, there's something on the roof."

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

IF I CAN MAKE IT THERE...

...I might find myself in the subway with a snake.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION

South Korean YouTuber sets private parts on fire during gaming livestream, gets 2nd-degree burns

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE NEED THE DEATH PENALTY

Blazing Saddles Is Being Remade as an Animated Samurai Movie About Cats and Dogs

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Semi-Related: New dating app for cat lovers launches on International Cat Day

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FINALLY, A BRIGHT SPOT IN THIS DREARY WORLD

It's... MulletFest 2020!

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

OPEN THREAD

This is not a topic, but: If you’re looking for a good documentary series and you have Netflix, consider Cheer. It’s excellent. 

MEANWHILE ABROAD

A large group of deranged camels has been terrorizing local villagers in Russia’s Astrakhan region after a pensioner released them onto the surrounding steppe.

We saw them open for the Cowsills.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUESS THE STATE

Man Jailed For Alleged Felony Slurpee Battery

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ITS NATURAL HABITAT

Florida woman finds python in her laundry machine

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'THIS IS NOT OK'

Hasbro is removing Trolls doll from stores amid complaints that button is inappropriately placed

(Thanks to pharmaross and Jim Kiehne)

NOBODY EVEN NOTICED

Plane makes emergency landing on Florida expressway

(Thanks to Geoff)

BUT NOT ALL AT ONCE

Spain’s former king Juan Carlos had nearly 5,000 lovers, says retired colonel

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

YUM

Glow-in-the-dark sushi.

Name We Are Not Amused By: Jessada Denduangboripant, associate professor of biology at Chulalongkorn University

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE REMAINDERS ARE READY

A US version of the Eurovision Song Contest is to take place next year, organisers have announced.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

OPEN THREAD

Let's be careful out there.

GUYS IN ACTION

This is a video from Tagum City, Davao del Norte, Philippines, of a driver who MacGyver’d himself a manual windshield wiper system after the existing system’s motor went out.

Hey, it works.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GEEZER ALERT: Who remembers certain old car models that had windshield wipers powered by vacuum, rather than electric, motors, so when it rained really hard you tended to drive faster to make the wipers go faster?

This blog, that's who.