Dave Barry's Blog

AND IN SPORTS

Olympic hopeful Shelby Houlihan blames burrito for positive steroid test

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NOPE

Meet the pacu fish dubbed as the 'ball-cutter' fish

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SWELL. WE’LL GO PICK IT UP IN OUR FLYING CAR.

Microsoft to release the Xbox Mini Fridge before the end of 2021

(Thanks to Dave N.)

WE NEED TO STEP UP, AMERICA

The Girl Scouts have an unusual problem this year: 15 million boxes of unsold cookies.

(Thanks to Roberto and EricY)

NO, NO IT'S NOT

Double Mustache Is The Latest Male Fashion Trend

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE'VE ALL DONE IT

Florida city accidentally sells its water tower

(Thanks to coscolo and pharmaross)

AUSTRALIA FINDS THIS HILARIOUS

Snake at large in Winnipeg after scaring Fort Rouge man who spotted it while mowing the lawn

(Thanks to The Perts)

WE’RE WITH THE INTERNET

The Internet wants Jeff Bezos to buy and eat the Mona Lisa

Maybe put some cicadas on top for flavor.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

IF THE HEALTH INSPECTOR FINDS INSECTS IN THE KITCHEN, THE RESTAURANT GETS FINED. AND YET…

Restaurant tests out pizza topped with cicadas

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

AND IN SPORTS

The legendary rumour is that Friday, a wonderfully gifted striker with a penchant for self-destruction, went straight into the opposition changing rooms after being sent off while playing for Cardiff City against Brighton and Hove Albion and defecated into Lawrenson's shoes.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Believe it or not rain falls after Chachoengsao villagers build enormous phallus in religious rain-making ceremony

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHY EVEN HAVE A TOWN COUNCIL?

Three 'alien abductions' in a week in Sedgley - but council 'aren't doing anything'

(Thanks to Ralph)

IN FACT IT'S IN GUAM

Americans don’t know where their national landmarks are — 1 in 5 thinks Niagara Falls is in Iceland!

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

EVER FORGET WHERE YOU PARKED YOUR CAR?

That was nothing.

Advisory: Bad word.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Cape Cod lobsterman’s whale of a tale sounds fishy, experts say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

New Hampshire now has an official state spider

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

SKYDIVER LANDS IN MIDDLE OF SOCCER GAME AFTER MAIN CHUTE FAILS, GETS YELLOW CARD

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GREAT, WE’LL GO SEE THEM IN OUR FLYING CAR

Healthy mouse pups born from freeze-dried space sperm

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HEY, BIRD PEOPLE:

Mrs. Blog and I saw these owls in the Everglades today. Does anybody know what brand of owl they are?

UPDATE: Consensus is they’re barred owls. Barred from what, I don’t know.

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Naples man calls 911 about McDonald’s order & says he has cocaine ‘in his butt’

(Thanks to pharmaross)