Dave Barry's Blog

THEY HAVE OUR VOTE

California governor candidate under investigation over 1,000lb bear sidekick

(Thanks to Barry [hah] Nester)

FORTUNATELY THEY WERE CANADIAN RATTLESNAKES, WHICH ARE KNOWN TO BE POLITE

Fourteen-year-old Raiden Peter and his friend were enjoying an afternoon bike ride in Lethbridge, Canada, a town south of Calgary in Alberta, when they found themselves riding through a rattlesnake den.

(Thanks to vee)

MAYBE THEY’RE FISHING

Stunning Video Reportedly Taken on US Navy Ship Shows 'UFO' Descend Into Pacific Ocean

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

CSI: SOUTH CAROLINA

K9 bites cow, SC deputy Tases K9, cow kicks deputy

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

IT’S TRYING TO GET TO FLORIDA, WHERE IT CAN BE FREE

A self-driving taxi got stuck in traffic in Chandler, Arizona — and when a tech support team showed up to free it, the car absconded and blocked a three-lane road. 

(Thanks to coscolo)

CRIME REPORT FROM PAHRUMP

Unfortunately our strict policy against making fun of names prohibits us from bringing you the Crime News from Pahrump.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE ASSUME THEY'LL STICK ONE ON THE HEADSTONE

Spencer Silver, the chemist who gave Post-it Notes their signature stick, dies at 80

(Thanks to the Perts, who note that "computers wouldn't work without them.")

ATTENTION, BARGAIN-HUNTERS:

A man in Massachusetts is giving away an innumerable amount of live crickets after accidentally causing an infestation in his own home.

(Thanks to Ann Farr)

HOW DO WE WARN THEM?

Fungus full of psychedelic drugs could cause Indiana Brood X cicadas' butts to fall off

(Thanks to Dave and Lynn Guy)

JUST IN CASE YOU THOUGHT THINGS WERE GETTING BETTER

Lab rats are overwhelmingly male, and that's a problem

(Thanks to The Perts)

ALL AT ONCE?

Brits urged to drink 124 pints each to help struggling pubs get back on their feet

(Thanks to Rick Day)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

7:10 p.m. A woman believed her roommate was in trouble after someone asked her to buy a monkey for the Billings Zoo.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan, who says “There were also people sawing a car.”)

SO SHOULD WE PRACTICE, JUST IN CASE?

Mammals can breathe through anus in emergencies

(Thanks to Rick Day, ImNotDave and Michael Moyer)

'HOW WAS THE SUPERMARKET, DEAR?'

Wild boar surround woman near Rome and steal food shopping

(Thanks to Ranald Adams)

GET READY FOR THE DASHBOARD TO BE PUNCHED

Get Ready for In-Car Ads

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Stretch of I-80 in Omaha gets a little slick because of animal guts

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

THEY ALL PRODUCED VALID ETC.

About 100 chickens recovered after breaking loose on I-10 in Escambia County

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

AFTER SOMEONE ORDERED 750 CARROTS FROM ROOM SERVICE

47 rabbits rescued from Schaumburg hotel room

(Thanks to pharmaross)

ONE DOWN, EIGHT TO GO

Chicago cat fleeing fire survives 5-story jump, walks off

(Thanks to Dave N. and EricY)

ALWAYS A DANGEROUS AISLE

Responding to a report of a disturbance in the potato chip aisle of a Walmart in Ohio, police Tuesday arrested a Cleveland woman for allegedly striking a female victim in the face with a 10-pound log of ground beef.

(Thanks to pharmaross)