Dave Barry's Blog

BUT IN WHAT *ORDER* DID HE CLEAN THEM?

Cleaner at luxury Chinese hotel caught cleaning toilet and drinking cups with same sponge

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS IS HOW MOST OF OUR EVENINGS END

An Oklahoma man paid a visit a strip club at 3 a.m. — and police said that bad decision set in motion a bizarre series of events that resulted in him running naked down a country road.

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

You Can Now Buy Christmas Fairy Lights For Beards

(Thanks to Ann)

THAT WILL SHOW THEM

A Man Was so Angry His Flight Was Cancelled He Set His Own Luggage on Fire

(Thanks to pharmaross and John Lobert)

BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT

A mini ice age could be on the way

(Thanks to The Perts)

NOW WITH ADDED PROTEIN

Woman discovers live frog in her Cava salad

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

CELEBRITY LIFESTYLES UPDATE

Sarah Logan Farted In The ‘Ride Along’ Car

(Thanks tp pharmaross)

ALL HUMANITY REJOICES

Wombat poop: Scientists have finally discovered why it's cubed

(Thanks to Lisa Caplinger, Ralph, the Perts, funny man, Andrew Mendez and Michael Moyer)

these kids today

University lecturers told DON'T USE CAPS as it frightens students

(thanks to allen at division)

CANADA: A NATION IN CHAOS

Stolen snowplow truck driven by man without pants crashes in Portugal Cove-St. Philip's

(Thanks to The Perts)

IN CASE YOU HAD ANY LINGERING DOUBTS ABOUT HIS UNFITNESS TO REIGN:

Prince William says his dad Prince Charles is ‘infatuated’ with squirrels

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Catherine DeLorey)

DUH, BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE WHERE YOU'VE JUST BEEN

Walking backwards can boost your short-term memory, study suggests (but scientists have no idea why!)

(Thanks to coscolo)

AND IN SPORTS

Farting Controversy Clouds Grand Slam Of Darts Quarterfinal

(Thanks to Cindy Pearson)

POLLY WANNA SHUT UP

Parrot’s smoke alarm impression was so good firefighters were called

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "You know who put him up to it.")

URGENT CELEBRITY UPDATE

Shania Twain once accidentally urinated during performance

(Thanks to pharmaross)

TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE

A man accused of threatening to blow up Willie’s Chicken Shack Tuesday night (Nov. 13) claimed to police when confronted about the allegation that his words were merely a reference to a bowel movement, the man’s warrant states.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

Man attacks roommates with ax over thermostat setting

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY CEREMONY

Casey walked down the aisle in her wedding gown, and when it came time for them to do her vows, she turned to all of their friends and family members and said, “There will be no wedding today. It seems Alex is not who I thought he was.” Then she took out her phone and read the text messages that he had sent this other woman out loud.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

WHOEVER THAT IS

A holidaymaker who is suing British Airways for £10,000 has told a court he was injured after being forced to squeeze into a seat next to an obese man who was “the size of Jonah Lomu”.

County We Are Not Making Fun Of The Name Of: "Pontypridd"

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and pharmaross)

THESE KIDS TODAY

You don't want to know.

Seriously, you don't.

(Thanks to Barry Nester and coscolo, who says, quote, "Ew.")