Dave Barry's Blog

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

A hero granny armed with a mop and bucket of dirty water beat off an armed crook after he tried robbing her village shop at gunpoint.

(Thanks to Roberto)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Hundreds of musicians in British military bands have been forced to stop playing due to injuries caused by marching and performing at the same time.

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

SO FAR IT'S NOT TALKING

Duck left behind in Birmingham shop by thieves

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

SOME DAYS WE DON'T KNOW, EITHER

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but Dave was the answer to a question on Jeopardy on Friday and, even though they showed his picture, NONE OF THE CONTESTANTS KNEW WHO HE WAS! ("Writers Are Trying To Be Clever" category - $800) 

-- Bob Sassone

WE KNOW WHO'S GIVING THE ORDERS

Drug lord's four hippos have spawned 80 more hippos, and they're terrorizing a little town

(Thanks to Dave N.)

READERS OF THIS BLOG WILL HAVE A GOOD IDEA WHY

California cops investigate why man drove Jeep off multi-level parking garage

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SEND THIS SURFER TO WASHINGTON

New Zealand surfer fights off great white shark by punching it repeatedly, cursing it off

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION

The unusual method, sees the man using a fork and a pair of scissors to scoff spaghetti, lifting the pasta up with the fork and chopping the overhang off, before putting what's left in his mouth.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

‘THE NASAL RANGER’

For a few thousand dollars, cities are purchasing a device that bears striking resemblance to the Smell-O-Scope from the TV series Futurama to sniff out weed and fine smokers and growers if the scent produced is too strong.

Here’s the official Nasal Ranger website.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

(We think we may have blogged this already, but you can’t take chances with something like this.) 

PORSCHIA COME HOME

Pet poodle taken by hawk, found 28 hours later in Allegheny County

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

WE ARE DYING TO KNOW

How one Florida woman amassed a collection of more than 21,000 banana labels

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

BOLO

A jailed Irish drug dealer has lost his ill-gotten £46million Bitcoin fortune after the piece of A4 paper he had the access codes on and hid for safekeeping was 'thrown out' by his ex-landlord. 

(Thanks to James Flynn)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Drinking beer daily ‘can nearly DOUBLE a man’s chances of hitting 90 compared to teetotallers’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE HAVE BEEN CALLED MANY THINGS

But this is a first.

ATTENTION, WORLD TRAVELERS:

Ilkeston NatWest hole in wall rises up TripAdvisor rankings

(Thanks to Ralph)

NATURE UPDATE:

It’s getting less and less natural.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and pharmaross)

YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT STUDY?

Men who eat junk food are more likely to have low sperm count, says study

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says “This is probably a good thing.”)

NEVER LEAVE YOUR HOUSE UNATTENDED

Demolition company tears down wrong Dallas home

(Thanks to pharmaross)

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

Arizona Man Gets Drunk, Steals Bike To Celebrate Sobriety

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CLUTCHING A PERFECTLY PRESERVED FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Frozen bird discovered in Siberia is 46,000 years old

(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says “Grill with a lemon baste.”)