Dave Barry's Blog

IN FACT IT'S IN GUAM

Americans don’t know where their national landmarks are — 1 in 5 thinks Niagara Falls is in Iceland!

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

EVER FORGET WHERE YOU PARKED YOUR CAR?

That was nothing.

Advisory: Bad word.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Cape Cod lobsterman’s whale of a tale sounds fishy, experts say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

New Hampshire now has an official state spider

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN SPORTS

SKYDIVER LANDS IN MIDDLE OF SOCCER GAME AFTER MAIN CHUTE FAILS, GETS YELLOW CARD

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GREAT, WE’LL GO SEE THEM IN OUR FLYING CAR

Healthy mouse pups born from freeze-dried space sperm

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HEY, BIRD PEOPLE:

Mrs. Blog and I saw these owls in the Everglades today. Does anybody know what brand of owl they are?

UPDATE: Consensus is they’re barred owls. Barred from what, I don’t know.

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Naples man calls 911 about McDonald’s order & says he has cocaine ‘in his butt’

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS, LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW

‘Explosive diarrhea’ halts production on NBC’s ‘Ultimate Slip ‘N Slide’ competition show

(Thanks to pharmaross and Kevin Meerschaert)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man paints massive 'Welcome to Perth' sign on roof of building next to Sydney Airport

(Thanks to Ralph)

HAVE WE CONSIDERED SIMPLY EVACUATING AUSTRALIA?

'Huge' Venomous Snake Found in Child's Toy Basket

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SO HOW WAS *YOUR* DAY?

Humpback whale gulps and spits out Cape Cod lobsterman

(Thanks to Nancy Gill, annfarr, The Perts, Al Barkafski, pharmaross and Rick Day)

BEFORE THE INTERNET, THIS WAS JUST A DREAM

Professional headlice remover shares the worst nits she's ever treated

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says “Why am I not surprised that this is from Australia?”)

REALLY? 'SHAKOPEE?'

Shakopee man used toilet tank cover in assault

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MOM OF THE WEEK SO FAR, SPORTS DIVISION

Padres fan makes incredible foul ball catch while holding baby

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

News People Waterlooville street shocked as ice block containing frozen poo crashes into the street from passing airplane

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT'S PROBABLY THE SQUIRRELS

Earth's core is growing 'lopsided' and scientists don't know why

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

THE ONLY WAY TO SETTLE THE MATTER

A High Falls man went to jail for pulling a pistol on a coworker who allegedly peed on the toilet seat on June 1.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WILDLIFE INDEED

Wildlife manager discovers $1.2 million in cocaine washed ashore at Cape Canaveral Space Force Station

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

Miami-Dade County Mayor Daniella Levine Cava recently appointed Jane Gilbert to the unique and brand-new position of interim chief heat officer.

(Thanks to ImNotDave)