Dave Barry's Blog

TOO BAD HE WASN'T SEATED BENEATH THE SCORPION

Passenger strips to boxers and removes his socks for duration of flight

(Thanks to funny man)

NO DOUBT HEADED FOR AUSTRALIA

Passengers spot giant scorpion crawling out of overhead bin on plane

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

'RATHER UNUSUAL STOP'

Amesbury Police said they responded to a report of drag racing motorcycles in Wiltshire and ended up discovering the bikes were racing against a New Holland T6 175 tractor.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

GERMANY ON HIGH ALERT

It’s now easier than ever in France to act out “Star Wars” fantasies, because its fencing federation has borrowed from a galaxy far, far away and officially recognized lightsaber dueling as a competitive sport

(Thanks to The Perts and Andrew Mendez)

THE NEWS FROM DOWN UNDER

Melbourne mum outraged by ‘willy’ on toy lion

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

FLORIDA IS ALSO AVAILABLE

More than 7,000 sign petition to sell Montana to Canada for $1 trillion to pay down national debt

"Just tell them it has beavers or something."

(Thanks to Howard from Broward)

O THE HUMANITY

Tractor-trailer hauling 40K pounds of broccoli overturns on metro Atlanta interstate

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

A rattlesnake in Florida ended up in the back of a police car.

(Thanks to Tim! Stern)

STRONG NAME, DUDE

Guard alligator ‘El Chompo’ protected drugs for Pennsylvania dealers, prosecutors say

SO THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLING THEM THESE DAYS

10,000 naked men reach out to grab lucky sticks for 2019

(Thanks to funny man)

COMING SOON

Massive menstrual flow character will be Japan’s newest movie star

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Los Angeles City Council’s president suggests to deploy ‘army of cats’ to deal with rat situation

Coincidentally, we once saw Army of Cats open for Rat Situation.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Related: Researchers Create ‘Rat Cyborgs’ That People Control With Their Minds

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR SCIENTISTS TO JUST SHUT UP

Burnt toast could be more toxic than TRAFFIC FUMES, scientists warn

(Thanks to Slim Chance and Mark Schlesinger, who says "Unplug me before I kill again.")

It's Not Just Toast That Wants To Kill Us: Cooking a Sunday roast can drive indoor air pollution far above the levels found in the most polluted cities on Earth, scientists have said.

(Thanks to Ann)

COLD

Woman claims ex-boyfriend gave her dress to his mom after they split, and how she's 'wearing it on nights out'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BOLO

Officials say 37-year-old Christopher Hancock was robbed of his pants, which he claimed contained $10,000, while meeting up with a woman for sex.

The Good News: Hancock told investigators he and his girlfriend have an open relationship, which includes having sex with other people.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith and Woozy Barnes)

BUT IT WAS A CONSENTING SNOWBANK!

Suspects in custody after Porsche mounts snowbank in Mississauga

(Thanks to N.N.)

THIS IS TOTALLY LEGAL IN FLORIDA

A driver was stopped by police and ticketed Thursday after police say she attempted to pass off a pack of Camel 99 cigarettes as an official New Hampshire inspection sticker.

(Thanks to Ralph)

‘I DRINK FROM SMALL TO BIG’

Chinese coconut milk company forced to change ad claiming drink increases breast size

(Thanks to pharmaross)

 

SO IT CAN LEGALLY DRIVE IN FLORIDA

Couple proudly show off their giant cabbage which is the same size as a person

(Thanks to John Lobert)

TOURIST SEASON

Man points gun at Disney guests in fight for disabled parking space at Animal Kingdom, report says

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says “It’s the happiest place on earth!”)