Dave Barry's Blog

HO HUM

Deadly snake spotted devouring huge lizard on Australian beach

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "In other news, water is wet.")

THAT'S HIS STORY, ANYWAY

Guy on Ambien accidentally proposes to girlfriend, wakes up and doesn't remember any of it

(Thanks to Wolverine, who says "This definitely belongs on the warning label.")

IT'S FLORIDA, SO THIS SHOULD BE COVERED BY THE WARRANTY

Miami Gardens man finds boa constrictor in car’s engine

(Thanks to John Lobert)

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY

Woman is caught with 24 GERBILS strapped to her legs under her skirt at a Taiwanese customs checkpoint

(Thanks to Mac Turl)

SEEMS KIND OF... REDUNDANT

Man treated in hospital after injecting himself with own semen

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

'They come back with big eyes': pétanque rocked by drug allegations

(Thanks to John Dodds, who says "Drugs? In Petanque?")

This blog happens to be familiar with petanque, having played it at a high level. (Get it? A "high" level?" Har!)  Another link about this blog's petanque exploits can be found here.

'SUPERMODEL KAIA GERBER HAS ALREADY FREQUENTED SKIN CAMP'

First "Facial Workout" Studio Opens in L.A.

A FLORIDA TANK LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Tank said to have rolled across highway as crew dozed inside

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, who says "I think tanks always have the right of way.")

WHAT CHOICE DID SHE HAVE?

Florida woman pulls gun at salon after being told to take a 'chill pill'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SECOND THROUGH SEVENTEENTH PLACES WENT TO WOLVES

Runner crosses marathon distance in Siberia at insane -60°C

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko) 

NOT FUNNY, BUT FASCINATING

The true story of the Thai cave rescues.

GUYS

One in three women told condom was 'too small' to use, research finds

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SO IT’S SETTLED

Ph.D. Student’s Thesis Presents “Scientific Evidence” The Earth Is Flat

(Thanks to Laurie Ann-Farr Cavanaugh Bobskill)

APPARENTLY JESUS HAS A FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Man said Jesus told him to drive Ferrari off Palm Beach dock

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

TOTALLY REASONABLE

Bride wants bridesmaids to wear contacts so their eyes don't clash with dresses

(Thanks to John Lobert)

POLICE WERE HOT ON THE TRAIL

Panties, bras fly from car window during dangerous high-speed chase from Portage to Chesterton, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE’RE ON OUR WAY

Tanker truck carrying 3,500 gallons of chocolate spills onto Arizona's I-40

(Thanks to funny man, Dave Emery, Al Barkafski, Jane Linderman, Jay Brandeis, pharmaross, Le Petomane and Allen at Division)

THESE ARE CONSENTING SPIDERS

Australian Reptile Park releases video of funnel web spiders mating

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

DARPA Wants to Build Conscious Robots Using Insect Brains

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

NO DOUBT EN ROUTE TO MIAMI

Houston police chief writes 140 mph speeding ticket to driver of Dodge Viper

(Thanks to pharmaross and Rod Nunley)