Dave Barry's Blog

HE HAS OUR VOTE

Meet the Kenyan presidential candidate campaigning on marijuana and hyena testicles

(Thanks to Ralph)

BRILLIANT! AND BY ‘BRILLIANT,’ WE MEAN ‘STUPID.’

Dutch beer company Heineken recently teamed up with sneaker designer and customizer Dominic Ciambone, aka The Shoe Surgeon, to create a special sneaker with beer-filled soles.

(Thanks to Ralph)

GOATS ARE DISTANT RELATIVES OF SQUIRRELS

Goat runs loose in Spanish city, breaks into jewelry store

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN OUTDOOR SPORTS

40lbs Catfish Delivers Perfect Crotch Shot To Indiana Fisherman

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THESE ITEMS JUST IN FROM THE SPORTS DESK

Athlete's 400m race ruined after penis keeps falling out of loose-fitting shorts

(Thanks to pharmaross and Roberto)

Golden Eagles' Boner unquestioned leader of line

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUESS THE STATE

Video Shows Lamborghini Urus Speed Through Stop Sign, T-Bone Car, Fly Into Roof of Home, Catch Fire

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

AT EASE, SOLDIER

US Army is developing a tactical bra for its female soldiers

(Thanks to Barry Nester. Al Barkafski and Le Petomane)

WHAT COULD ETC.?

Dad invents flamethrower for kids to play with at home: ‘Best toy ever’

(Thanks to Frank)

WEBSITE UPDATE

The slow-loading issue seems to be fixed. The problem appears to have been caused by mayonnaise in the carburetor. Judi has been rehired on a probationary basis.

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

A Houma man was arrested for allegedly catching too many sharks and having meth in his possession, according to the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

LOOKING FOR 'SOMETHING DIFFERENT' IN THE WAY OF FOOTWEAR?

Look no further.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, PLEASE RESUME YOUR JOURNEY

Florida Man Says “I Feel Free. Crazy And Stupid” After Leading Troopers On 130 Mph Chase

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BARILLA NO. 5

NASA FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT THAT WEIRD SPAGHETTI IT FOUND ON MARS WAS

(Thanks to The Perts)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

A custom, functional replica of a 1966 Batmobile, complete with a working flamethrower, is at the core of a legal spat between a Bay Area real estate agent and an Indiana minister — a spat that may have illicitly involved Bay Area sheriff's investigators flying halfway across the country to conduct a raid.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

BLOGSITE ISSUES

We are aware that the blogsite is loading v-e-r-r-r-r-r-r-y slowly, and we are doing all we can to correct it. And by “doing all we can,” we mean “not actually doing anything, unless you count hoping that it gets better.” Also of course judi will be fired. 

AND IN SPORTS

You don’t want to know.

Seriously, especially if you’re a guy, you don’t.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

LOOKS LEGIT TO US

French physicist is forced to apologise for 'planet' photo that was really a snap of some chorizo

(Thanks to Michael Moyer, Howard from Broward, Emily, Leslie and w and Bill Rudersdorf)

SOUNDS FUN!

Hong Kong bans eating at annual food expo

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

FORE!

A woman with an open bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey in a bag was arrested for driving a golf cart on Florida’s busiest interstate while drunk, according to an arrest report.

(Thanks to Steve K., Charles Cates and John Grant)

THEY RAN OUT OF PURPLE ONES

Why are green meteors raining down on New Zealand?

(Thanks to Allen at Division)