Scene in the Tropics

Only in Miami

The scene at the Walgreen's on 5th and Jefferson, around 10 am today: a vagrant type restrained by police in plastic handcuffs. Scene is calm and collected, and we're not sure why, because overlooking the sting, if you can call it that, was none other than deputy dawg himself, Shaquille O'Neal. "The guy was quite angry as he was being rushed into the cop car, but there's Shaq, standing there in his electric blue nylon basketball outfit with a t-shirt in a plastic Walgreen's bag, and everyone's looking quite gleeful," says our witness. Apparently Shaq was just there, shopping at Walgreen's. "No one seemed to be interested in why they arrested that guy," says the witness. "We all just wanted to know what the hell Shaq was doing shopping at Walgreen's!"

More Heat Festivities

This just in: if you were smart to remain in the air conditioning instead of braving the 200,000+ crowd at the Miami Heat victory parade today,  you have yet another chance to brave the masses to see your Miami Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat---in the a/c, that is.

Here's the official press release from one of our fave pr dudes, Matt Heien:

Basketball icon Shaquille O’Neal promised The Miami Heat a championship and he delivered! Now the legend will celebrate this colossal victory with his “Official White Hot Heat Championship Party” at Mansion on Monday, June 26th at 10pm. Guests can expect a larger-than-life celebration from this larger-than-life star, with lots of “fan-faire,” festivities and sounds by DJ Irie, The Official DJ of The Miami Heat.

WHO:              Shaquille O’Neal, The Vertical Sports Group and partners Imperia Vodka, Miller Lite, Peroni Beer, Brietling Watches, BMW Motorcycles of Miami, Land Rover, and H&H Jewelers

WHEN:            Monday, June 26th

                        Doors open at 9pm

Debunking the Brain/Shoe Size Correlation

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs we went to."  Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.

Feeling the Heat

At the Heat game last night: Gloria Estefan and her daughter, Destiny's Child, Kelly Rowland, A Beyonce-less Jay Z and NBA Hall of Famer Bill Russell.

Scarred

Lots of people who tried to crash Shaq's 34th birthday shindig on Indian Creek Island Friday night were unsuccessful in their efforts, but it's ok. They didn't miss much. The Heat lost that night and Shaq and crew weren't exactly in the mood to talk. The live animals weren't any wilder than the crowds you see in front of Opium during Spring Break, and the celebrity factor was sort of nil unless you care about Star Jones. That was a rhetorical statement. Poor Julio Iglesias, Jr. said he was called in at the last minute to sing 'happy birthday' to the gigantic player.

IIf you ask us, there was more amusement at the gate of Indian Creek Island, where publicists who flew in from LA were treated to the typical Miami party in which one invitation automatically implies you plus a million. One female publicist was trying to give the rent a cops directions on how to work "the lists," saying, "Ok, there are three separate lists. You must check all of them. When the person tells you their name, cross reference it and make sure that there isn't a carload of people coming in with them. If that's the case, you must turn them away, ok?" True rocket science. Based on what we saw, we think that cops can maneuver automatic weapons much easier than guest lists. What a mess. The traffic at the gate was backed up like I95 circa 3pm on a Friday afternoon.

We only wish we were still at the gate when Star Jones arrived.

The next day, Shaq's wife had a big baby shower at her Star Island manse. It took place on their tennis courts and featured a juggling Star Jones. Kidding. To escape the girlie games, Shaq and friends rented the penthouse at the Shelborne and partied there to the tune of Cristal, Grey Goose and grape juice. Then they hit Shine. And for some reason, this entry is boring the you know what out of me, so I think it's time to move on to the Desperate Housewife and Michael Bolton.

Shaq's Big 3-4

So the big party of the week is this Friday night at a private manse on Indian Creek Island, where Shaquille O'Neal will celebrate his 34th birthday. Last year Shaq had a party at the Victor Hotel, which was fun, but this year's sounds absurdly amusing, sporting a Scarface theme in which almost every room of the house will be done up Tony Montana style. We had no idea Shaq was such a fan. Good to know.

At any rate, we can't wait, because the celeb scene here has been a bit dull lately. Ben and Matt reuniting was as exciting as watching paint dry. We're craving a good scandal--not necessarily a Shaq-scandal, but a scandal nonetheless.

Baby Shaq!

We were right! Or, at least our Miami Heat game-going spy was right. Shaunie O'Neal is expecting another baby. We didn't think that woman was capable of gaining an ounce, so of course she's preggo and not fat.

Shaq-ing up

Before wicked Wilma hit, Shaq was spotted at Clarke's, the popular south of Fifth Street bar and restaurant, where he was celebrating the birthday of Miami Beach police chief, Donald W. De Lucca. This past Saturday night, October 29, he was spotted at the Halloween party at Casa Casuarina, where he took the turntables from DJ Irie and started spinning the crowd into a frenzy. We hear he was dressed as himself.