Though many of our DVRs have been long disinfected from the virus known as Jersey Shore, apparently many more are still inexplicably watching. Jumping on the germy bandwagon is Hollywood Boxing, who is offering J-Woww and Sammi $50,000 each to get into the ring and beat the you know what out of each other with "huge 24 oz. boxing gloves." Though there's a date set, March 19, a venue has yet to be announced. And while the two Shore skanks would be the star attraction or something, the event will also feature 16 women not on an MTV reality show throwing punches in the ring for cash and prizes. Class, unfortunately, is not one of them.
January 12, 2011
November 29, 2010
Just when you thought Miami Beach was rid of the bad case of reality herpes known as Jersey Shore, rumor has it the cast may flare up again in these parts sometime this spring. According to Page Six, producers want to film here again and their only issue right now is likely the egomaniacal greed fueling the cast members who may demand outrages fees to commit. Our source who helped us break the news of last spring's infestation says there's no news yet but wouldn't be surprised if they come back for another round of ugly episodes. And people wonder why Miami has been demoted on those "Cities With Beautiful People" rankings.
September 16, 2010
Seems that the Godzilla or Friday the 13th of TV, Bravo's wildly popular Real Housewives franchise, may have, indeed, invaded Miami in the guise of the tentatively titled "Miami Social Club." Despite rumors that one of the cast member's husbands may have objected to his wife appearing in such scandalous tubeage, our behind-the-camera mole tells us that an "official" Real Housewives promo---you know, the one where the ladies are either fondling an orange, a peach, or something to represent their geographical location (in Miami's case, a bag of cocaine or saline implants wouldn't be such a bad thing since an orange was already taken)---was recently filmed with all the gals in tow.
We contacted our official Bravo mouthpiece who was cagey, telling us that since no air date has been secured, the show sort of remains nameless. But it all sounds like it's pointing to that splashy, trashy, trainwrecky drama-fest many of us, ahem, have grown to love. But first we have to endure what may be the worst of the franchise--Real Housewives of DC--and then the yet to be determined Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, before we get to our own. That's a lot of time to make it good. And by good we mean bad. Like Teresa Guidice and Danielle Staub bad. We can hardly wait.
August 31, 2010
An allegedly major TV network is heading to South Florida on a quest to find America's Next It Girl. You know, like Paris Hilton and Khloe Kardashian? No, we're serious. The call sheet says "A major cable network is casting a new competition show to find the next Khloe Kardashian or Paris Hilton!" All you need to do is be a high achiever and fit the following requirements: "You're out every night and there's not a club you can't get into; you've got the fabulous lifestyle (clothes, car) that demands to be noticed; you are not shy about saying what you feel--and if people don't like it, tough!; every charity wants you at their event; you have high standards that must be met; people aspire to be you and you know it!" Criminal record not required. All you need to do is fill out the application, print it out, schlep to Boca's Lucx Boutique (the Posche of Boca?), 307 SE Mizner Blvd., on Wednesday, September 8 between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. No mug shot necessary, either, just a photo ID. The rest will likely come later if you're chosen. Good luck. No, really, good luck.
July 28, 2010
Like a car accident on I-95, you know you can't help but look, if but for a quick second. Same goes for the trainwreck/90 car pile up called Jersey Shore, whose second season, partly filmed right here in Miami, will debut on MTV tomorrow night. However, like the Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, watching too much Jersey Shore will most likely induce severe nausea. It seems like just yesterday that places like Mynt and pretty much everywhere else not located on Ocean Drive were so aghast, they basically said they'd sooner let a serial killer into their fine establishments than the cast of that show. And wisely so. According to People magazine, the "producers made Miami look as ugly as Seaside Heights, NJ." And that's not even including J-Woww's wardrobe or lack thereof. But if you're gonna watch, you may as well do so at the Catalina, the sister property of the hotel (the Metropole) that probably needed a Hazmat team to sterilize the place after the giddy gang o' guidos packed up their spray tan, Valtrex bottles and Aqua Net and left. And even though the Metropole wisely decided to 86 plans to charge thousands a night for the Snooki Slept Here suite, it doesn't mean they can't celebrate. Which they will tomorrow night at Maxine's Bistro and Bar at the Catalina at 9 p.m. with much food, drink and fanfare--for instance, go dressed as a Jersey Shore cast member and get a free Jersey Shore Situation cocktail. That's almost as good as dressing like a cow for a free sandwich at Chik-Fil-A, though we think we'd rather do that and pay for our cocktail rather than dress like a burnt, overinflated, puffy, pumpkin.
July 20, 2010
Has Kim Zolciak found her new sugar daddy on Star Island? The Real Housewives of Atlanta character is no stranger to Miami men--or women, having allegedly hooked up with DJ Tracy Young several months ago. And while that opportunity relationship didn't quite work out, Zolciak was reportedly on and off with her original benefactor, married Atlanta real estate mogul, Lee Najar. Until now, perhaps. In town with some of her fellow castmates for the Mercedes Benz FashionWeek Swim shows (why, we have no idea and as far as we know there was no She by Sheree show scheduled), Zolciak spent some QT with perennial Miami Beach party man, Thomas Kramer, who feted the Atlanta housewives at his Star Island sprawl, a Chuck. E. Cheese of sorts for the rich and horny. The bon vivant, who's also been trying to get into reality TV, would actually make an exceptional addition to Bravo's Hotlanta Housewives franchise as well as to Zolciak's bottom line, so don't be surprised if we see Zolciak flipping her wig over him in the coming weeks. On Bravo or otherwise.
July 19, 2010
June 30, 2010
June 14, 2010
Not since Britney Spears went batty in the trophy room at SET has Miami been so excited about a seasoned pop star sighting at a local club (cool your jets Gaga fans.We remember Score. But we said seasoned). But that's how it went down Friday night when Christina Aguilera was seen partying with a bunch of girls including reality show something or other Kim Kardashian, in town for the bachelorette party of their friend/stylist Simone Harouche. Perhaps it was the two together that was such a big deal, or perhaps it was because Kardashian and Aguilera have been seen together quite a bit lately. But what really had eyebrows raised wasn't the fact that Aguilera requested an off duty Cedric Gervais to spin an exclusive set of her hits at LIV Friday night, or the fact that two of her dancers broke out into routines that must have been reserved for her recently canceled concert tour, but, rather, the whole regurgitated trend of famous women pretending to professing their love of other women in a desperate attempt for publicity. Apparently on the heels of her canceled show, X-Tina admitted to being attracted to women in the July issue of Company magazine. True or not, it's hardly shocking and hardly news, considering we witnessed the pop star and another reality specimen, Paris Hilton, thisclose to sucking face many moons ago in the Raleigh penthouse for an MTV VMAs after party. Aguilera, meantime, is a wife and a mom, not that there's anything wrong with that. Maybe she should have just clarified that she has a thing for reality show women?