Scene in the Tropics

Art Basel Miami Beach invites: the real works of art

It's not long before the who's who in the art world swarms to Miami like Kardashians to TV cameras. And while there will no doubt be a motley crew of A-list celebrities, indie bands whose songs play on Gossip Girl, and real life, big money socialites out and about, remind yourselves that it's all about the art. Just 12 days away from the big opening and we've already received a year's worth of emails touting all sorts of exhibitions, parties, parties, parties and, oh yes, exhibitions as the ones to be at. The ironic hipster gathering at the 7-11 on Alton and 15th sounds particularly stellar. But again, it's about the art. And discovered in those emails—the 30 or so that we've spared from the recycle bin, was the inspiration to create our own art. Presenting the Scene in the Tropics Running Art Basel Miami Beach Invitation Word/Name Tally Spectacular, in which from now until the big event is over, we will list a count of the most used and overused words and phrases in each and every invitation. We'll also list celebrity names, because name dropping is indeed, a true form of art, which is different from those pieces of work who are otherwise known as name droppers. We're especially hopeful that we get to use the (non) word/name Sucklord in the coming days. Check back from time to time to see which words and names are debuting and, of them, which are most ubiquitous.

iconic 2

famed 1

exciting 1

reimagined 1

rebranded 1

private 3

invite only 11

VIP 5

DJ 15

fashionable 1

tastemakers 4

the who's who 15

pop up 3

original water of disco 1

official sponsor 10

Tilda Swinton 1

Moby 1

Special Disco Version 1

The Black Lips 1

Midnight Surfer 1

surprise guest 1

Nigel Barker 1

Theophilus London 1

Young the Giant 1 

Silver Medallion 1

Mick Boogie 1 

beats by Dr. Dre (as in the headphones, not the man) 1

Nick Cave 1

Alex Dellal 1

Stavros Niarchos 1

Vito Schnabel 1

Aby Rosen 1

Samantha Boardman 1

Dom Perignon 1

Ruinart 1

Veuve Cliquot 1

The Z's--Beyonce, Jay & Baby Bump, house hunting in Miami?

In town while her hubby Jay-Z convinced fans he was the Bard of hip hop and Kanye West was, well, not, Beyonce and her baby bump chilled out at Alex Rodriguez's house. We have it on excellent authority that the Z's were house hunting in Miami. Who knows, maybe they'll be neighbors of Real Housewives of Atlanta's Nene Leakes, who was also house hunting out of her league down here, too, but certainly only for the cameras. Jay Z can buy the entire city if he wanted to, but not, of course, on any profits from his ill advised Occupy All Streets venture. No word on location of alleged house hunt, though some say they may be sniffing around the predictable North Bay Road, but we'll let you know if we hear anything further.

Sofia Vergara to stand by her Senate-seeking man tomorrow at Sagamore Hotel

Last time we saw Modern Family's Sofia Vergara, she was dating club guy Chris Paciello. How things have changed. While Paciello has returned to his former stomping grounds to take a second spin in the Miami club biz, his ex will also be back, but only to stand by her man, Nick Loeb, who will hold a press conference on Thursday, November 17th at the Sagamore Hotel to announce his decision regarding his candidacy for U.S. Senate. Loeb, a Republican and the trust funded son of John Loeb, Jr, who was Ronald Reagan's ambassador to Denmark, pulled out of the race for the Palm Beach-Broward legislative seat in 2009 because he was going through a divorce from Swedish ex-wife Anna. Loeb also lost out on a 2005 bid for Delray Beach city commissioner. Nothing like a Pepsi pin up Charo redux sitcom star to bolster your chances for a seat in the Senate. There are worse ways people have won.  Politics aside, it would be fun to see him win if only to be able to write that Vergara has come a long, long way from late nights at Liquid to the stodgy Senate. On second thought, the last thing senators need today is more distraction.

Something only Real Housewives of New Jersey fans will care about

For the politically inclined, Blackwater elicits images of the scandal-plagued security firm with dealings in Iraq. For others, black water is just the stuff that comes out of the sink in a schlocky old Art Deco apartment. But for the Manzos of The Real Housewives of New Jersey infamy, blk.Water, as it's spelled, is a way for sons Albie and Chris to make a living that doesn't involve strippers, car washes or the LSATs.  One of the young Men-zo--Albie--will be at the Hotel Breakwater on Ocean Drive Friday night along with mom Caroline and aunt Jaqueline Laurita to celebrate the launch of this bizarre dark liquid. For famewhores, no, the cameras won't be rolling, and for RHONJ fans, no, arch enemy Teresa Guidice won't be there either, as she's busy famewhoring herself on the new season of Celebrity Apprentice.

Art Basel, forget you! Cee Lo Green, Ne-Yo & more headline South Beach NYE

Art Basel is so 2011, plus you can neither afford nor understand the art, not to mention snag an invite to the swankiest, most party crasher impenetrable private parties. Christmas? That started the day after Halloween, so that leaves us with, well, New Year's Eve. Yep, plans are already for the "Orange Drive Miami Beach Music Festival," taking place December 30 through January 1 between 7th and 9th Streets and Ocean Drive and featuring performances by Cee Lo Green, Ne-Yo, Boyz II Men, Jermaine Dupri, and Pete Wentz, along with DJs Samantha Ronson and Irie in a "lavish and state of the art amphitheater will be constructed and placed on the sand which can hold up to 30,000 party goers each night." Yikes. For ticket information, go to www.orangedr.com or follow them on Twitter @OrangeDriveFest.

Reggie Bush rebuffs a gaggle of randy women at the Delano

Just after his ex, whose name is more recognizable by America's youth than the Vice President's, announced her divorce from a different athlete, Miami Dolphins player Reggie Bush was seen at Tuesday night's long running meat market at the Delano. But the NFL player was in no mood to play this field, say our sources, who witnessed him rebuffing the advances of a bevy of buxom, willing and eager women. "He couldn't be less interested in these women," says one witness. Bush, who's no stranger to some of South Beach's finest (allegedly tapping into the market even when he was with that ubiquitous reality show person), instead focused on the dinner he ate with teammate Anthony Fasano and 2 other male friends. As a group of girls approached the table to flirt with him, Bush remained unmoved as his friends asked them to leave. But he wasn’t in a bad mood, seen leaving solo but with a big smile on his face. Envisioning a Dolphins' win, perhaps? Doubtful. 

Free tix to MTV's Sucker Free Awards at the Fontainebleau

So it's not the VMAs, but nonetheless, MTV is taping its Sucker Free Awards at LIV on November 11 and they are "casting" the audience---in other words, they need to fill seats and are giving away free tickets. For those of us for whom anything remotely MTV these days is a foreign language, here is the official translation: "MTV's longest running franchise and #1 weekly Hip-Hop countdown show, Sucker Free is crowning the Kings and Queens of hip hop. The Sucker Free Awards will honor the year in hip-hop with a unique look back at the music, moments and personalities that made 2011 so memorable. Seven categories will be determined by a combination of online and social-media voting and tallies from tastemakers throughout the music and entertainment industry." Expected to appear at these awards are "the biggest names from the YMCMB (Young Money Cash Money Billionaires)." Show will air on December 4. Tickets are for those 21 and older and available at http://onsetproductions.com or  www.onsetproductions.com.   

Yo, Mama! Housewives meets Pregnant In Heels hybrid casting in So Flo

As the relentless Real Housewives casting agents allegedly scrape every surface begging and pleading to find some willing and able Miami women for their cruel psychological experiment  take two, we bring to you yet another casting, one that combines that inimitable Housewives horror magic with the bloat  whimsy of Pregnant in Heels. Audition at your own risk. 

The casting directors responsible for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, and Million Dollar Decorator are casting for a new reality show featuring new and soon-to-be moms. If you are a first-time mom living in South Florida (either trying to conceive, pregnant, or with a baby under 6 months old), we want to talk to you! Do you have great style, a successful career, an impressive home and the overall life that other women envy? Are you ready to be a mom, but not ready to give up your glamorous lifestyle? Our series will focus on the challenges, compromises and joy that come with becoming a first time mother, while still balancing the hectic lifestyle of women who want it all. If so, send an email to alex@daswebsite.com with a photo of you and your significant other and a brief paragraph about your decision to become a parent, your relationship, your goals and what you and your partner do for a living. Don't forget your full name and phone number so we can get in touch with you. We’ll be in South Florida on November 11th to cast for the show.

Ticketmaster issues refunds for reeling R. Kelly fans after singer shows up 5 hours late

Fans of R. Kelly were furious Sunday night when the singer  emerged from wherever he was and showed up to the "R. Kelly Black and White VIP Party" at Revolution Live at 1 a.m. when the event was slated to start at 8 p.m. Though Kelly was in town promoting his new album Black Panties, promoters say the event was never a concert, despite the fact that most, even the Sun Sentinel, described it as such. Either way, the $40 ticket gave fans nothing but a five hour wait for the singer to do nothing but show up. In response, Revolution Live has issued a statement and Ticketmaster is issuing refunds.

Here's the statement:

Revolution Live in Ft Lauderdale prides itself on producing and presenting a first class concert event at all our shows. Providing a quality, comfortable fan experience is of paramount importance to us.

However, we do make our facility available for rental to other promoters and individuals who produce events in our space. While we do our best to make sure these rentals deliver, unfortunately our control over their product can at times be limited. Such was the case with the R. Kelly Black and White VIP Party held Sunday, October 2^nd.

We understand that there was some disappointment with the event and the quality of entertainment offered by the promoter. R. Kelly showed up at 1 AM for an event that started at 8PM. While this was promoted as a VIP Meet & Greet Party rather than a concert, it was very poorly organized and did not live up to the advertised message. Please contact Ticketmaster for customer service and refund details.

Revolution Live does not produce events like this and this is not indicative of the way we run our concerts. We hope that those who had a negative experience at this event do not let it reflect on Revolution Live. We look forward to seeing you at one of our future shows.

 

Tough Love Miami star cops to her DUI, the reality show rite of passage

She calls herself a crazy psycho from whom men run and hide, but when it came to drunk driving on August 4, 2010, a few good men ran after and arrested aspiring singer Jane Castro, aka Jei, a "feisty Latina" with "strict Cuban parents" currently appearing on VH1's Tough Love Miami. The show's premise is typical: a so-called dating expert brings his Boot Camp to "one of the most challenging dating cities in the country--Miami: famous for its spicy South Beach scene and flawless men and women." Attractive, maybe. Flawless, far from it, especially if you're on a  reality show and get busted for DUI.

Castro, who addresses her DUI on the second episode of the show, tells us the wake up call and the show were catalysts to her dreams to become a singer: "Once I got the DUI, I decided to stay sober. I've been sober for a year and 2 months, and completed my DUI mandated penalties," Castro told us.  "Though when the show was filmed, I was still embarrassed and ashamed of my DUI and I wasn't very public about it. Seeing my mug shot was a bigger wake up call and [Tough Love's "dating expert] Steve made me face it. I hope people learn from my experience. And since then my sobering experience brought Tough Love Miami and the chance to fulfill my musical dream by releasing my solo single Show Me the Money just released on iTunes.'' Good for her. But that brings us to that other reality show rite of passage: the iTunes single. Click to hear Castro's and discuss.