Scene in the Tropics

Weekend forecast: Sunny, bunnies, with a chance of guidos

Poor Easter Bunny. He's about to be upstaged (or poisoned) by the carrot-colored cast of Jersey Shore, which is en route to Miami and expected in town at some point this weekend. Perhaps the bunny will mistake Snooki, The Situation and co. for a snack and devour them before they have a chance to soil our shores. Wishful thinking, because we all know rabbits can't digest Power Bars, Red Bull, spray tan, Aqua Net, Axe Body Spray and Got2B Max-Control Styling Gel. And if the rabbit tried to consume these toxic ingredients, PETA would be down here faster than Kelly Bensimon can say "I’m not abusing animals. I’m just wearing fur." Anyway, we know what they did last summer and frankly, we're scared. We also think we know where they're staying and possibly "working" but we were told if we reveal that before they arrive, they may keep the cast from the gym and No Lines Tanning for a week and then sic 'em on us. Uh, no thank you. We'll just have to wait until they make their grand entrance to find out what places to avoid for the next month or so. In the meantime we never thought we'd say this, but the Kim Kardashian is suddenly looking like Grace Kelly in our eyes (with her sisters as the princess's lesser minions), though we wonder if they'll pull a cross-pollinating Happy Days visits Laverne & Shirley (Lenny, Squiggy and the Fonz were, after all, precursors to this whole Jersey mess) and bring the two reality shows together for one big, bad publicity stunted photo-op. And while they're at it, maybe the crew from "Miami Social Club" can stop by for a cameo. And then there's the Bad Girls Club. And then[Lost reference alert] a deceased Locke, possessed by forces of evil, will blow through here and smoke 'em all away and all that will remain will be flowing, breezy palm trees and a very hungry Hurley. The end.

Karu and Why?

We're not quite sure what the message is when a multi-million dollar club reopens with an additional $10 million in refurbs and a "cast member" of Hugh Hefner's harem and The Girls Next Door, but that's exactly what's going on down there in the ghetto Friday night. Kendra Wilkinson, who now has black hair and is rumored to be leaving the Playboy Mansion and is reportedly engaged to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett, is hosting part one of Karu & Y's grand reopening Friday night. She'll be there again on Saturday, when Nicky Hilton takes over hosting duties. Hey, at least it's not Brooke Hogan, right?

No Mokai This Weekend

In typical South Beach fashion, Mokai is not  yet ready for its close up. Therefore, the long anticipated lounge opening on 23rd Street by Nicola Siervo and Rony Seikaly will allegedly make its debut on July 13. Stay tuned.

Envelopes of Enthusiasm

Larry David is the messiah. But that's neither here nor there. His TV wife, Cheryl Hines, is a Miami native, which is why we sort of care about her involvement in a good cause, one which Larry would definitely botch if they were married in real life.

Hines, Donald Trump, Kelly Ripa, Regis Philbin, Carmen Electra, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jaime Lee Curtis, Michael Clarke Duncan, Alexis Bledel and Joey McIntyre are among other red carpet names participating in "Pitney Bowes Pushing the Envelope to Support Literacy" program. Each of these stars have designed and autographed an envelope that was auctioned on eBay from September 19^th - 29^th at www.eBay.com/pitneybowesread with 100% of the proceeds from the auction supports the National Center for Family Literacy and Reading Is Fundamental.